第 4 节
作者:
九十八度 更新:2022-04-27 10:16 字数:9322
outside against a background of uniforms; civil and military。 Then;
proudly and impetuously; he followed the lady。
〃From that great day of the trumpet these two understood one another
to admiration。 Charles Edward's ideas on the subject of love are as
sound as possible。 According to him; a man cannot love twice; there is
but one love in his lifetime; but that love is a deep and shoreless
sea。 It may break in upon him at any time; as the grace of God found
St。 Paul; and a man may live sixty years and never know love。 Perhaps;
to quote Heine's superb phrase; it is 'the secret malady of the heart'
a sense of the Infinite that there is within us; together with the
revelation of the ideal Beauty in its visible form。 This love; in
short; comprehends both the creature and creation。 But so long as
there is no question of this great poetical conception; the loves that
cannot last can only be taken lightly; as if they were in a manner
snatches of song compared with Love the epic。
〃To Charles Edward the adventure brought neither the thunderbolt
signal of love's coming; nor yet that gradual revelation of an inward
fairness which draws two natures by degrees more and more strongly
each to each。 For there are but two ways of lovelove at first sight;
doubtless akin to the Highland 'second…sight;' and that slow fusion of
two natures which realizes Plato's 'man…woman。' But if Charles Edward
did not love; he was loved to distraction。 Claudine found love made
complete; body and soul; in her; in short; La Palferine awakened the
one passion of her life; while for him Claudine was only a most
charming mistress。 The Devil himself; a most potent magician
certainly; with all hell at his back; could never have changed the
natures of these two unequal fires。 I dare affirm that Claudine not
unfrequently bored Charles Edward。
〃 'Stale fish and the woman you do not love are only fit to fling out
of the window after three days;' he used to say。
〃In Bohemia there is little secrecy observed over these affairs。 La
Palferine used to talk a good deal of Claudine; but; at the same time;
none of us saw her; nor so much as knew her name。 For us Claudine was
almost a mythical personage。 All of us acted in the same way;
reconciling the requirements of our common life with the rules of good
taste。 Claudine; Hortense; the Baroness; the Bourgeoise; the Empress;
the Spaniard; the Lioness;these were cryptic titles which permitted
us to pour out our joys; our cares; vexations; and hopes; and to
communicate our discoveries。 Further; none of us went。 It has been
shown; in Bohemia; that chance discovered the identity of the fair
unknown; and at once; as by tacit convention; not one of us spoke of
her again。 This fact may show how far youth possesses a sense of true
delicacy。 How admirably certain natures of a finer clay know the limit
line where jest must end; and all that host of things French covered
by the slang word /blague/; a word which will shortly be cast out of
the language (let us hope); and yet it is the only one which conveys
an idea of the spirit of Bohemia。
〃So we often used to joke about Claudine and the Count'/Toujours
Claudine?/' sung to the air of /Toujours Gessle/。'What are you
making of Claudine?''How is Claudine?'
〃 'I wish you all such a mistress; for all the harm I wish you;' La
Palferine began one day。 'No greyhound; no basset…dog; no poodle can
match her in gentleness; submissiveness; and complete tenderness。
There are times when I reproach myself; when I take myself to task for
my hard heart。 Claudine obeys with saintly sweetness。 She comes to me;
I tell her to go; she goes; she does not even cry till she is out in
the courtyard。 I refuse to see her for a whole week at a time。 I tell
her to come at such an hour on Tuesday; and be it midnight or six
o'clock in the morning; ten o'clock; five o'clock; breakfast time;
dinner time; bed time; any particularly inconvenient hour in the day
she will come; punctual to the minute; beautiful; beautifully dressed;
and enchanting。 And she is a married woman; with all the complications
and duties of a household。 The fibs that she must invent; the reasons
she must find for conforming to my whims would tax the ingenuity of
some of us! 。 。 。 Claudine never wearies; you can always count upon
her。 It is not love; I tell her; it is infatuation。 She writes to me
every day; I do not read her letters; she found that out; but still
she writes。 See here; there are two hundred letters in this casket。
She begs me to wipe my razors on one of her letters every day; and I
punctually do so。 She thinks; and rightly; that the sight of her
handwriting will put me in mind of her。'
〃La Palferine was dressing as he told us this。 I took up the letter
which he was about to put to this use; read it; and kept it; as he did
not ask to have it back。 Here it is。 I looked for it; and found it as
I promised。
〃/Monday (Midnight)。/
〃 'Well; my dear; are you satisfied with me? I did not even ask
for your hand; yet you might easily have given it to me; and I
longed so much to hold it to my heart; to my lips。 No; I did not
ask; I am so afraid of displeasing you。 Do you know one thing?
Though I am cruelly sure that anything I do is a matter of perfect
indifference to you; I am none the less extremely timid in my
conduct: the woman that belongs to you; whatever her title to call
herself yours; must not incur so much as the shadow of blame。 In
so far as love comes from the angels in heaven; from whom are no
secrets hid; my love is as pure as the purest; wherever I am I
feel that I am in your presence; and I try to do you honor。
〃 'All that you said about my manner of dress impressed me very
much; I began to understand how far above others are those that
come of a noble race。 There was still something of the opera girl
in my gowns; in my way of dressing my hair。 In a moment I saw the
distance between me and good taste。 Next time you will receive a
duchess; you shall not know me again! Ah! how good you have been
to your Claudine! How many and many a time I have thanked you for
telling me those things! What interest lay in those few words! You
have taken thought for that thing belonging to you called
Claudine? /This/ imbecile would never have opened my eyes; he
thinks that everything I do is right; and besides; he is much too
humdrum; too matter…of…fact to have any feeling for the beautiful。
〃 'Tuesday is very slow of coming for my impatient mind! On
Tuesday I shall be with you for several hours。 Ah! when it comes I
will try to think that the hours are months; that it will be so
always。 I am living in hope of that morning now; as I shall live
upon the memory of it afterwards。 Hope is memory that craves; and
recollection; memory sated。 What a beautiful life within life
thought makes for us in this way!
〃 'Sometimes I dream of inventing new ways of tenderness all my
own; a secret which no other woman shall guess。 A cold sweat
breaks out over me at the thought that something may happen to
prevent this morning。 Oh; I would break with /him/ for good; if
need was; but nothing here could possibly interfere; it would be
from your side。 Perhaps you may decide to go out; perhaps to go to
see some other woman。 Oh! spare me this Tuesday for pity's sake。
If you take it from me; Charles; you do not know what /he/ will
suffer; I should drive him wild。 But even if you do not want me;
or you are going out; let me come; all the same; to be with you
while you dress; only to see you; I ask no more than that; only to
show you that I love you without a thought of self。
〃 'Since you gave me leave to love you; for you gave me leave;
since I am yours; since that day I loved and love you with the
whole strength of my soul; and I shall love you for ever; for once
having loved /you/; no one could; no one ought to love another。
And; you see; when those eyes that ask nothing but to see you are
upon you; you will feel that in your Claudine there is a something
divine; called into existence by you。
〃 'Alas! with you I can never play the coquette。 I am like a
mother with her child; I endure anything from you; I; that was
once so imperious and proud。 I have made dukes and princes fetch
and carry for me; aides…de…camp; worth more than all the court of
Charles X。 put together; have done my errands; yet I am treating
you as my spoilt child。 But where is the use of coquetry? It would
be pure waste。 And yet; monsieur; for want of coquetry I shall
never inspire love in you。 I know it; I feel it; yet I do as
before; feeling a power that I cannot withstand; thinking that
this utter self…surrender will win me the sentiment innate in all
men (so /he/ tells me) for the thing that belongs to them。
〃/Wednesday/。
〃 'Ah! how darkly sadness entered my heart yesterday when I found
that I must give up the joy of seeing you。 One single thought held
me back from the arms of Death!It was thy will! To stay away was
to do thy will; to obey an order from thee。 Oh! Charles; I was so
pretty; I looked a lovelier woman for you t