第 3 节
作者:垃圾王      更新:2022-04-21 11:07      字数:9321
  silly as the young girls。〃
  For  the  honor   of   the   profession;  I   named   three   practitioners   whom  I
  had found really good at reading character。 He asked whether any of them
  had been right about past events。 I confessed that; as a matter of fact; all
  three of them had been right in the main。 This seemed to amuse him。 He
  asked whether any of them had predicted anything which had since come
  true。 I confessed that all three had predicted that I should do several things
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  which I had since done rather unexpectedly。 He asked if I didn't accept this
  as; at any rate; a scrap of evidence。 I said I could only regard it as a fluke
  a rather remarkable fluke。
  The superiority of his sad smile was beginning to get on my nerves。 I
  wanted him to see that he was as absurd as I。
  〃Suppose;〃 I said〃suppose; for the sake of argument; that you and I
  are nothing but helpless automata created to do just this and that; and to
  have just that and this done to us。 Suppose; in fact; we HAVEN'T any free
  will whatsoever。 Is it likely or conceivable that the Power which fashioned
  us would take the trouble to jot down in cipher on our hands just what was
  in store for us?〃
  Laider   did   not   answer   this   question;   he   did   but   annoyingly   ask   me
  another。
  〃You believe in free will?〃
  〃Yes; of course。 I'll be hanged if I'm an automaton。〃
  〃And     you    believe   in   free  will   just  as   in  palmistrywithout       any
  reason?〃
  〃Oh; no。 Everything points to our having free will。〃
  〃Everything? What; for instance?〃
  This rather cornered me。 I dodged out; as lightly as I could; by saying:
  〃I suppose YOU would say it's written in my hand that I should be a
  believer in free will。〃
  〃Ah; I've no doubt it is。〃
  I   held   out   my   palms。   But;   to   my   great   disappointment;   he   looked
  quickly away from them。 He had ceased to smile。 There was agitation in
  his   voice   as   he   explained   that   he   never   looked   at   people's   hands   now。
  〃Never nownever again。〃 He shook his head as though to beat off some
  memory。
  I was much embarrassed by my indiscretion。 I hastened to tide over the
  awkward moment   by  saying that   if   _I_ could read   hands I   wouldn't;  for
  fear of the awful things I might see there。
  〃Awful things; yes;〃 he whispered; nodding at the fire。
  〃Not;〃 I said in self…defense; 〃that there's anything very awful; so far as
  I know; to be read in MY hands。〃
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  He turned his gaze from the fire to me。
  〃You aren't a murderer; for example?〃
  〃Oh; no;〃 I replied; with a nervous laugh。
  〃_I_ am。〃
  This was a more than awkward; it was a painful; moment for me; and I
  am   afraid   I   must   have   started   or   winced;   for   he   instantly   begged   my
  pardon。
  〃I don't know;〃 he exclaimed; 〃why I said it。 I'm usually a very reticent
  man。   But   sometimes〃   He   pressed   his   brow。   〃What   you   must   think   of
  me!〃
  I begged him to dismiss the matter from his mind。
  〃It's very good of you to say that; butI've placed myself as well as
  you in a false position。 I ask you to believe that I'm not the sort of man
  who is 'wanted' or ever was 'wanted' by the police。 I should be bowed out
  of any police…station at which I gave myself up。 I'm not a murderer in any
  bald sense of the word。 No。〃
  My face   must have perceptibly brightened; for;  〃Ah;〃 he said;   〃don't
  imagine I'm not a murderer at all。 Morally; I am。〃 He looked at the clock。 I
  pointed out that the night was young。 He assured me that his story was not
  a long one。 I assured him that I hoped it was。 He said I was very kind。 I
  denied this。  He warned   me that   what   he had   to tell   might rather   tend  to
  stiffen   my   unwilling   faith   in   palmistry;   and   to   shake   my   opposite   and
  cherished faith in free will。 I said; 〃Never mind。〃 He stretched his hands
  pensively toward the fire。 I settled myself back in my chair。
  〃My hands;〃 he said; staring at the backs of them; 〃are the hands of a
  very weak man。 I dare say you know enough of palmistry to see that for
  yourself。   You   notice   the   slightness   of   the   thumbs   and   of   he   two   'little'
  fingers。   They   are   the   hands   of   a   weak   and   over…sensitive   mana   man
  without confidence; a   man who would certainly waver in an   emergency。
  Rather     Hamletish      hands;〃    he   mused。    〃And     I'm   like  Hamlet     in  other
  respects;   too:   I'm   no   fool;   and   I've   rather   a   noble   disposition;   and   I'm
  unlucky。 But Hamlet was luckier than I in one thing: he was a murderer by
  accident;   whereas   the   murders   that   I   committed   one   day   fourteen   years
  agofor   I   must   tell   you   it   wasn't   one   murder;   but   many   murders   that   I
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  committedwere all of them due to the wretched inherent weakness of my
  own wretched self。
  〃I    was     twenty…sixno;       twenty…seven        years    old;    and    rather    a
  nondescript person; as I am now。 I was supposed to have been called to the
  bar。 In fact; I believe I HAD been called to the bar。 I hadn't listened to the
  call。 I never intended to practise; and I never did practise。 I only wanted an
  excuse in the eyes of the world for existing。 I suppose the nearest I have
  ever come to practicing is now at this moment: I am defending a murderer。
  My father had left me well enough provided with money。 I was able to go
  my own   desultory  way;   riding my  hobbies   where   I would。  I   had   a good
  stableful of hobbies。 Palmistry was one of them。 I was rather ashamed of
  this one。 It seemed to me absurd; as it seems to you。 Like you; though; I
  believed in it。 Unlike you; I had done more than merely read a book about
  it。   I   had   read   innumerable   books   about   it。   I   had   taken   casts   of   all   my
  friends'     hands。    I  had    tested    and   tested    again    the   points    at   which
  Desbarolles dissented from the Gipsies; andwell; enough that I had gone
  into it all rather thoroughly; and was as sound a palmist; as a man may be
  without giving his whole life to palmistry。
  〃One of the first things I had seen in my own hand; as soon as I had
  learned to read it; was that at about the age of twenty…six I should have a
  narrow escape from deathfrom a violent death。 There was a clean break
  in the life…line; and a square joining itthe protective square; you know。
  The   markings   were   precisely   the   same   in   both   hands。   It   was   to   be   the
  narrowest   escape   possible。 And   I   wasn't   going   to   escape   without   injury;
  either。   That   is   what   bothered   me。   There   was   a   faint   line   connecting   the
  break in the lifeline with a star on the line of health。 Against that star was
  another square。 I was to recover from the injury; whatever it might be。 Still;
  I   didn't   exactly   look   forward   to   it。   Soon   after   I   had   reached   the   age   of
  twenty…five; I   began to   feel uncomfortable。 The thing   might be going   to
  happen at any moment。 In palmistry; you know; it is impossible to pin an
  event down hard and fast to one year。 This particular event was to be when
  I was ABOUT twenty…six; it mightn't be till I was twenty…seven; it might
  be while I was only twenty…five。
  〃And   I   used   to   tell   myself   it   mightn't   be   at   all。   My   reason   rebelled
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  against the  whole notion of palmistry;  just   as   yours does。  I  despised   my
  faith   in   the   thing;   just   as   you   despise   yours。   I   used   to   try   not   to   be   so
  ridiculously careful as I was whenever I crossed a street。 I lived in London
  at that time。 Motor…cars had not yet come in; butwhat hours; all told; I
  must have spent standing on curbs; very circumspect; very lamentable! It
  was a pity; I suppose; that I had no definite occupation something to take
  me out of myself。 I was one of the victims of private means。 There came a
  time   when     I   drove   in   four…wheelers    rather   than   in   hansoms;    and   was
  doubtful of four…wheelers。 Oh; I assure you; I was very lamentable indeed。
  〃If a railway…journey could be avoided; I avoided it。 My uncle had a
  place in Hampshire。 I was very fond of him and of