第 72 节
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Impertinence I trust; by considering me as speaking only for
another; and speaking by Necessity;—and the Admiral is a Man
who can never be thought Impertinent by one who knows him as
you do—。 His Intentions are always the kindest & the Best;—and
you will perceive that he is actuated by none other; in the
application which I am now with—with very peculiar feelings—
obliged to make。’—He stopped—but merely to recover breath;—
not seeming to expect any answer。—Anne listened; as if her Life
depended on the issue of his Speech。—He proceeded; with a
forced alacrity。—‘The Admiral; Madam; was this morning
confidently informed that you were—upon my word I am quite at
a loss; ashamed—(breathing & speaking quick)—the awkwardness
of giving Information of this sort to one of the Parties—You can be
at no loss to understand me—It was very confidently said that Mr
Elliot—that everything was settled in the family for an Union
between Mr Elliot—& yourself。 It was added that you were to live
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at Kellynch—that Kellynch was to be given up。 This; the Admiral
knew could not be correct—But it occurred to him that it might be
the wish of the Parties—And my commission from him Madam; is
to say; that if the Family wish is such; his Lease of Kellynch shall
be cancel’d; & he & my sister will provide themselves with
another home; without imagining themselves to be doing anything
which under similar circumstances would not be done for them。—
This is all Madam。—A very few words in reply from you will be
sufficient。—That I should be the person commissioned on this
subject is extraordinary!—and believe me Madam; it is no less
painful。—A very few words however will put an end to the
awkwardness & distress we may both be feeling。’ Anne spoke a
word or two; but they were un…intelligible—And before she could
command herself; he added;—‘If you only tell me that the Admiral
may address a Line to Sir Walter; it will be enough。 Pronounce
only the words; he may。—I shall immediately follow him with your
message。—’ This was spoken; as with a fortitude which seemed to
meet the message。—‘No Sir—said Anne—There is no message。—
You are misin—the Admiral is misinformed。—I do justice to the
kindness of his Intentions; but he is quite mistaken。 There is no
Truth in any such report。’—He was a moment silent。—She turned
her eyes towards him for the first time since his re…entering the
room。 His colour was varying—& he was looking at her with all
the Power & Keenness; which she believed no other eyes than his;
possessed。 ‘No Truth in any such report!—he repeated。—No Truth
in any part of it?’—‘None。’—He had been standing by a chair—
enjoying the relief of leaning on it—or of playing with it;—he now
sat down—drew it a little nearer to her—& looked; with an
expression which had something more than penetration in it;
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something softer;—Her Countenance did not discourage。—It was
a silent; but a very powerful Dialogue;—on his side; Supplication;
on her’s acceptance。—Still; a little nearer—and a hand taken and
pressed—and ‘Anne; my own dear Anne!’—bursting forth in the
fullness of exquisite feeling—and all Suspense & Indecision were
over。—They were re…united。 They were restored to all that had
been lost。 They were carried back to the past; with only an
increase of attachment & confidence; & only such a flutter of
present Delight as made them little fit for the interruption of Mrs
Croft; when she joined them not long afterwards。—She probably;
in the observations of the next ten minutes; saw something to
suspect—& tho’ it was hardly possible for a woman of her
description to wish the Mantuamaker had imprisoned her longer;
she might be very likely wishing for some excuse to run about the
house; some storm to break the windows above; or a summons to
the Admiral’s Shoemaker below。—Fortune favoured them all
however in another way—in a gentle; steady rain—just happily set
in as the Admiral returned & Anne rose to go。—She was earnestly
invited to stay dinner;—a note was dispatched to Camden Place—
and she staid;—staid till 10 at night。 And during that time; the
Husband & wife; either by the wife’s contrivance; or by simply
going on in their usual way; were frequently out of the room
together—gone up stairs to hear a noise; or down stairs to settle
their accounts; or upon the Landing place to trim the Lamp。—And
these precious moments were turned to so good an account that
all the most anxious feelings of the past were gone through。—
Before they parted at night; Anne had the felicity of being assured
in the first place that—(so far from being altered for the worse!)—
she had gained inexpressibly in personal Loveliness; & that as to
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Character—her’s was now fixed on his Mind as Perfection itself—
maintaining the just Medium of Fortitude & Gentleness;—that he
had never ceased to love & prefer her; though it had been only at
Uppercross that he had learn’t to do her Justice—& only at Lyme
that he had begun to understand his own sensations;—that at
Lyme he had received Lessons of more than one kind;—the
passing admiration of Mr Elliot had at least roused him; and the
scenes on the Cobb & at Capt。 Harville’s had fixed her
superiority。—In his preceding attempts to attach himself to Louisa
Musgrove; (the attempts of Anger & Pique)—he protested that he
had continually felt the impossibility of really caring for Louisa;
though till that day; till the leisure for reflection which followed it;
he had not understood the perfect excellence of the Mind; with
which Louisa’s could so ill bear a comparison; or the perfect; the
unrivalled hold it possessed over his own。—There he had learnt to
distinguish between the steadiness of Principle & the Obstinacy of
Self…will; between the Darings of Heedlessness; & the Resolution
of a collected Mind—there he had seen everything to exalt in his
estimation the Woman he had lost; & there begun to deplore the
pride; the folly; the madness of resentment which had kept him
from trying to regain her; when thrown in his way。 From that
period to the present had his penance been the most severe。—He
had no sooner been free from the horror & remorse attending the
first few days of Louisa’s accident; no sooner begun to feel himself
alive again; than he had begun to feel himself though alive; not at
liberty。—He found that he was considered by his friend Harville;
as an engaged Man。 The Harvilles entertained not a doubt of a
mutual attachment between him & Louisa—and though this to a
degree; was contradicted instantly—it yet made him feel that
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perhaps by her family; by everybody; by herself even; the same
idea might be held—and that he was not free in honour—though;
if such were to be the conclusion; too free alas! in Heart。—He had
never thought justly on this subject before—he had not sufficiently
considered that his excessive Intimacy at Uppercross must have
its danger of ill consequence in many ways; and