第 71 节
作者:绝对601      更新:2022-04-16 12:12      字数:9194
  Doubts—a perplexity; an agitation which she could not see the end
  of—and   she   was   in   Gay   St   &   still   so   much   engrossed;   that   she
  started    on   being   addressed     by   Admiral   Croft;   as  if  he  were   a
  person   unlikely  to  be  met  there。   It  was   within   a   few   steps   of   his
  own door。—‘You are going to call upon my wife; said he; she will
  be very glad to see you。’—Anne denied it。 ‘No—she really had not
  time; she was in her way home’—but while she spoke; the Admiral
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  had stepped back & knocked at the door; calling out; ‘Yes; yes; do
  go   in;   she   is   all   alone;   go   in   &   rest   yourself。’—Anne   felt   so   little
  disposed at  this   time   to be   in   company  of  any   sort;   that   it   vexed
  her   to   be   thus   constrained—but   she   was   obliged   to   stop。   ‘Since
  you  are   so  very  kind; said   she; I   will   just  ask   Mrs   Croft   how   she
  does; but I really cannot stay 5 minutes。—You are sure she is quite
  alone。’—The        possibility    of   Capt。   W。    had    occurred—and         most
  fearfully anxious was she to be assured—either that he was within
  or that he was not; which;  might have been a question。—‘Oh! yes;
  quite alone—Nobody but her Mantuamaker with her; & they have
  been shut  up   together  this   half  hour;   so  it  must   be   over   soon。’—
  ‘Her   Mantuamaker!—then   I   am   sure   my   calling   now;   would   be
  most inconvenient。—Indeed you must allow me to leave my Card
  & be so good as to explain it afterwards to Mrs C。’ ‘No; no; not at
  all; not at all。 She will be very happy to see you。 Mind—I will not
  swear   that   she   has   not   something   particular   to   say   to   you—but
  that will all come out in the right place。 I give no hints。—Why; Miss
  Elliot;   we   begin   to   hear   strange   things    of  you—(smiling   in       her
  face)—But you have not much the Look of it—as Grave as a little
  Judge。’—Anne blushed。—‘Aye; aye; that will do。 Now; it is right。 I
  thought    we    were    not   mistaken。’     She    was    left  to  guess    at  the
  direction of his Suspicions;—the first wild idea had been of some
  disclosure from his Brother in law—but she was ashamed the next
  moment—& felt how far more probable that he should be meaning
  Mr E。—The door was opened—& the Man evidently beginning to
  deny his Mistress; when the sight of his Master stopped him。 The
  Admiral enjoyed the joke exceedingly。 Anne thought  his   triumph
  over   Stephen   rather   too   long。      At   last   however;    he   was   able   to
  invite her upstairs; & stepping before her said—‘I will just  go  up
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  with you myself & shew you in—。 I cannot stay; because I must go
  to  the   P。   Office; but  if  you  will   only  sit  down   for   5   minutes   I   am
  sure Sophy will come—and you will find nobody to disturb you—
  there    is  nobody   but   Frederick      here—’     opening   the    door    as  he
  spoke。—Such   a   person   to   be   passed   over   as   a   Nobody   to  her!—
  After being allowed to feel quite secure—indifferent—at her ease;
  to have it burst on her that she was to be the next moment in the
  same     room    with    him!—No      time    for  recollection!—for      planning
  behaviour;   or  regulating manners!—There   was   time   only   to   turn
  pale;    before    she    had    passed    through     the    door;   &    met    the
  astonished eyes of Capt。 W。 who was sitting by the fire pretending
  to   read   &   prepared   for   no   greater   surprise   than   the   Admiral’s
  hasty return。—Equally unexpected was the meeting; on each side。
  There was nothing to be done however; but to stifle feelings & be
  quietly   polite;—and   the   Admiral   was   too   much   on   the   alert;   to
  leave   any   troublesome   pause。—He   repeated   again   what   he   had
  said before about his wife & everybody—insisted on Anne’s sitting
  down & being perfectly comfortable; was sorry he must leave her
  himself;     but   was   sure   Mrs   Croft   would    be   down    very   soon;   &
  would   go   upstairs   &   give   her   notice   directly。—Anne  was  sitting
  down;   but  now   she   arose   again—to   entreat   him   not   to   interrupt
  Mrs     C。—&     re…urge    the   wish   of  going    away    &   calling   another
  time。—But  the   Admiral would not  hear  of   it;—and   if   she   did   not
  return to the charge with unconquerable Perseverance; or did not
  with a more passive Determination walk quietly out of the room—
  (as certainly she might have done) may she not be pardoned?—If
  she had no horror of a few minutes Tete a Tete with Capt。 W。; may
  she not be pardoned for not wishing to give him the idea that she
  had?—She         reseated    herself;   &   the  Admiral     took   leave;   but   on
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  reaching      the   door;    said;   ‘Frederick;     a  word     with  you;    if  you
  please。’—Capt。   W。   went   to   him;   and   instantly;   before   they   were
  well   out   of   the   room;   the   Admiral   continued—‘As   I   am   going   to
  leave you together; it is but fair I should give you something to talk
  of—& so; if you please—’ Here the door was very firmly closed; she
  could     guess    by   which    of   the  two;    and   she   lost   entirely    what
  immediately        followed;     but    it  was    impossible      for  her    not   to
  distinguish parts of the rest; for the Admiral on the strength of the
  Door’s being shut was speaking without any management of voice;
  tho’    she   could   hear    his  companion       trying    to  check    him。—She
  could not  doubt  their  being  speaking  of   her。   She   heard   her   own
  name & Kellynch  repeatedly—she was very much distressed。 She
  knew not what to do; or what to expect—and among other agonies
  felt the possibility of Capt。 W。’s not returning into the room at all;
  which after her consenting to  stay  would   have  been—too  bad   for
  Language。—They  seemed   to  be   talking  of  the   Admiral’s Lease   of
  Kellynch。 She heard him say something of ‘the Lease being signed
  or not signed’—that was not likely to be a very agitating subject—
  but then followed ‘I hate to be at an uncertainty—I must know at
  once—Sophy   thinks   the   same。’   Then;   in   a   lower   tone;   Capt。   W。
  seemed   remonstrating—wanting   to   be   excused—wanting   to   put
  something   off。   ‘Phoo;   Phoo—answered   the   Admiral;   now   is   the
  Time。 If you will not speak; I will stop & speak myself。’—‘Very well
  Sir;    very    well   Sir;   followed     with   some     impatience       from    his
  companion;   opening   the   door   as   he   spoke。—‘You   will   then—you
  promise   you   will?’   replied   the   Admiral;   in   all   the   power   of   his
  natural  voice;   unbroken   even   by   one   thin   door。—‘Yes;   Sir—Yes。’
  And   the   Admiral   was   hastily   left;   the   door   was   closed;   and   the
  moment arrived in which Anne was alone with Capt。 W。 She could
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  not attempt to see how he looked; but he walked immediately to a
  window; as if irresolute & embarrassed;—and for about the space
  of   5   seconds;   she   repented   what   she   had   done—censured   it   as
  unwise;   blushed   over   it   as   indelicate。—She   longed   to   be   able   to
  speak of the weather or the Concert—but could only compass the
  relief of taking a Newspaper in her hand。—The distressing pause
  was   soon   over   however;   he   turned   round   in   half   a   minute;   and
  coming towards the Table where she sat; said; in a voice of effort
  & constraint—‘You must have heard too much already Madam to
  be in any doubt of my having promised Admiral Croft to speak to
  you on some particular subject—& this conviction determines me
  to do it—however repugnant to my—to all my sense of propriety;
  to    be   taking     so   great    a   liberty。—You       wiil   acquit    me     of
  Impertinence        I  trust;  by  considering      me   as  speaking     only   for
  another;