第 67 节
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“Oh! my dear; it is quite understood; I give you my word。
Captain Harville has no thought but of going。”
“Do you think so? But I am afraid; and I should be so very
sorry。 Will you promise me to mention it; when you see them
again? You will see them both this morning; I dare say。 Do
promise me。”
“To be sure I will; if you wish it。 Charles; if you see Captain
Harville anywhere; remember to give Miss Anne’s message。 But
indeed; my dear; you need not be uneasy。 Captain Harville holds
himself quite engaged; I’ll answer for it; and Captain Wentworth
the same; I dare say。”
Anne could do no more; but her heart prophesied some
mischance to damp the perfection of her felicity。 It could not be
very lasting; however。 Even if he did not come to Camden…place
himself; it would be in her power to send an intelligible sentence
by Captain Harville。 Another momentary vexation occurred。
Charles; in his real concern and good nature; would go home with
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her; there was no preventing him。 This was almost cruel。 But she
could not be long ungrateful; he was sacrificing an engagement at
a gunsmith’s; to be of use to her; and she set off with him; with no
feeling but gratitude apparent。
They were on Union…street; when a quicker step behind; a
something of familiar sound; gave her two moments’ preparation
for the sight of Captain Wentworth。 He joined them; but; as if
irresolute whether to join or to pass on; said nothing—only looked。
Anne could command herself enough to receive that look; and not
repulsively。 The cheeks which had been pale now glowed; and the
movements which had hesitated were decided。 He walked by her
side。 Presently; struck by a sudden thought; Charles said—
“Captain Wentworth; which way are you going? Only to Gay…
street; or farther up the town?”
“I hardly know;” replied Captain Wentworth; surprised。
“Are you going as high as Belmont? Are you going near
Camden…place? Because; if you are; I shall have no scruple in
asking you to take my place; and give Anne your arm to her
father’s door。 She is rather done for this morning; and must not go
so far without help; and I ought to be at that fellow’s in the
market…place。 He promised me the sight of a capital gun he is just
going to send off; said he would keep it unpacked to the last
possible moment; that I might see it; and if I do not turn back now;
I have no chance。 By his description; a good deal like the second
size double…barrel of mine; which you shot with one day round
Winthrop。”
There could not be an objection。 There could be only the most
proper alacrity; a most obliging compliance for public view; and
smiles reined in and spirits dancing in private rapture。 In half a
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minute Charles was at the bottom of Union…street again; and the
other two proceeding together; and soon words enough had
passed between them to decide their direction towards the
comparatively quiet and retired gravel…walk; where the power of
conversation would make the present hour a blessing indeed; and
prepare it for all the immortality which the happiest recollections
of their own future lives could bestow。 There they exchanged
again those feelings and those promises which had once before
seemed to secure every thing; but which had been followed by so
many; many years of division and estrangement。 There they
returned again into the past; more exquisitely happy; perhaps; in
their re…union; than when it had been first projected; more tender;
more tried; more fixed in a knowledge of each other’s character;
truth; and attachment; more equal to act; more justified in acting。
And there; as they slowly paced the gradual ascent; heedless of
every group around them; seeing neither sauntering politicians;
bustling housekeepers; flirting girls; nor nursery…maids and
children; they could indulge in those retrospections and
acknowledgements; and especially in those explanations of what
had directly preceded the present moment; which were so
poignant and so ceaseless in interest。 All the little variations of the
last week were gone through; and of yesterday and today there
could scarcely be an end。
She had not mistaken him。 Jealousy of Mr。 Elliot had been the
retarding weight; the doubt; the torment。 That had begun to
operate in the very hour of first meeting her in Bath; that had
returned; after a short suspension; to ruin the concert; and that
had influenced him in everything he had said and done; or omitted
to say and do; in the last four…and…twenty hours。 It had been
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gradually yielding to the better hopes which her looks; or words;
or actions occasionally encouraged; it had been vanquished at last
by those sentiments and those tones which had reached him while
she talked with Captain Harville; and under the irresistible
governance of which he had seized a sheet of paper; and poured
out his feelings。
Of what he had then written; nothing was to be retracted or
qualified。 He persisted in having loved none but her。 She had
never been supplanted。 He never even believed himself to see her
equal。 Thus much indeed he was obliged to acknowledge—that he
had been constant unconsciously; nay unintentionally; that he had
meant to forget her; and believed it to be done。 He had imagined
himself indifferent; when he had only been angry; and he had
been unjust to her merits; because he had been a sufferer from
them。 Her character was now fixed on his mind as perfection itself;
maintaining the loveliest medium of fortitude and gentleness; but
he was obliged to acknowledge that only at Uppercross had he
learnt to do her justice; and only at Lyme had he begun to
understand himself。
At Lyme; he had received lessons of more than one sort。 The
passing admiration of Mr。 Elliot had at least roused him; and the
scenes on the Cobb and at Captain Harville’s had fixed her
superiority。
In his preceding attempts to attach himself to Louisa Musgrove
(the attempts of angry pride); he protested that he had for ever felt
it to be impossible; that he had not cared; could not care; for
Louisa; though till that day; till the leisure for reflection which
followed it; he had not understood the perfect excellence of the
mind with which Louisa’s could so ill bear a comparison; or the
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perfect unrivalled hold it possessed over his own。 There; he had
learnt to distinguish between the steadiness of principle and the
obstinacy of self…will; between the darings of heedlessness and the
resolution of a collected mind。 There he had seen everything to
exalt in his estimation the woman he had lost; and there begun to
deplore the pride; the folly; the madness of resentment; which had
kept him from trying to regain her when thrown in his way。
From that period his penance had become s