第 34 节
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some trouble from the good people she was with; they might at
least relieve Mrs。 Harville from the care of her own children; and
in short; they were so happy in the decision; that Anne was
delighted with what she had done; and felt that she could not
spend her last morning at Uppercross better than in assisting their
preparations; and sending them off at an early hour; though her
being left to the solitary range of the house was the consequence。
She was the last; excepting the little boys at the cottage; she
was the very last; the only remaining one of all that had filled and
animated both houses; of all that had given Uppercross its
cheerful character。 A few days had made a change indeed!
If Louisa recovered; it would all be well again。 More than
former happiness would be restored。 There could not be a doubt;
to her mind there was none; of what would follow her recovery。 A
few months hence; and the room now so deserted; occupied but by
her silent; pensive self; might be filled again with all that was
happy and gay; all that was glowing and bright in prosperous love;
all that was most unlike Anne Elliot!
An hour’s complete leisure for such reflections as these; on a
dark November day; a small thick rain almost blotting out the very
few objects ever to be discerned from the windows; was enough to
make the sound of Lady Russell’s carriage exceedingly welcome;
and yet; though desirous to be gone; she could not quit the
Mansion House; or look an adieu to the Cottage; with its black;
dripping and comfortless veranda; or even notice through the
misty glasses the last humble tenements of the village; without a
saddened heart。—Scenes had passed in Uppercross which made it
precious。 It stood the record of many sensations of pain; once
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severe; but now softened; and of some instances of relenting
feeling; some breathings of friendship and reconciliation; which
could never be looked for again; and which could never cease to be
dear。 She left it all behind her; all but the recollection that such
things had been。
Anne had never entered Kellynch since her quitting Lady
Russell’s house in September。 It had not been necessary; and the
few occasions of its being possible for her to go to the Hall she had
contrived to evade and escape from。 Her first return was to
resume her place in the modern and elegant apartments of the
Lodge; and to gladden the eyes of its mistress。
There was some anxiety mixed with Lady Russell’s joy in
meeting her。 She knew who had been frequenting Uppercross。
But happily; either Anne was improved in plumpness and looks; or
Lady Russell fancied her so; and Anne; in receiving her
compliments on the occasion; had the amusement of connecting
them with the silent admiration of her cousin; and of hoping that
she was to be blessed with a second spring of youth and beauty。
When they came to converse; she was soon sensible of some
mental change。 The subjects of which her heart had been full on
leaving Kellynch; and which she had felt slighted; and been
compelled to smother among the Musgroves; were now become
but of secondary interest。 She had lately lost sight even of her
father and sister and Bath。 Their concerns had been sunk under
those of Uppercross; and when Lady Russell reverted to their
former hopes and fears; and spoke her satisfaction in the house in
Camden…place; which had been taken; and her regret that Mrs。
Clay should still be with them; Anne would have been ashamed to
have it known how much more she was thinking of Lyme and
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Louisa Musgrove; and all her acquaintance there; how much more
interesting to her was the home and the friendship of the Harvilles
and Captain Benwick; than her own father’s house in Camden…
place; or her own sister’s intimacy with Mrs。 Clay。 She was
actually forced to exert herself to meet Lady Russell with anything
like the appearance of equal solicitude; on topics which had by
nature the first claim on her。
There was a little awkwardness at first in their discourse on
another subject。 They must speak of the accident at Lyme。 Lady
Russell had not been arrived five minutes the day before; when a
full account of the whole had burst on her; but still it must be
talked of; she must make enquiries; she must regret the
imprudence; lament the result; and Captain Wentworth’s name
must be mentioned by both。 Anne was conscious of not doing it so
well as Lady Russell。 She could not speak the name; and look
straight forward to Lady Russell’s eye; till she had adopted the
expedient of telling her briefly what she thought of the attachment
between him and Louisa。 When this was told; his name distressed
her no longer。
Lady Russell had only to listen composedly; and wish them
happy; but internally her heart revelled in angry pleasure; in
pleased contempt; that the man who at twenty…three had seemed
to understand somewhat of the value of an Anne Elliot; should;
eight years afterwards; be charmed by a Louisa Musgrove。
The first three or four days passed most quietly; with no
circumstance to mark them excepting the receipt of a note or two
from Lyme; which found their way to Anne; she could not tell how;
and brought a rather improving account of Louisa。 At the end of
that period; Lady Russell’s politeness could repose no longer; and
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the fainter self…threatenings of the past became in a decided tone;
“I must call on Mrs。 Croft; I really must call upon her soon。 Anne;
have you courage to go with me; and pay a visit in that house? It
will be some trial to us both。”
Anne did not shrink from it; on the contrary; she truly felt as
she said; in observing;
“I think you are very likely to suffer the most of the two; your
feelings are less reconciled to the change than mine。 By remaining
in the neighbourhood; I am become inured to it。”
She could have said more on the subject; for she had in fact so
high an opinion of the Crofts; and considered her father so very
fortunate in his tenants; felt the parish to be so sure of a good
example; and the poor of the best attention and relief; that
however sorry and ashamed for the necessity of the removal; she
could not but in conscience feel that they were gone who deserved
not to stay; and that Kellynch Hall had passed into better hands
than its owners’。 These convictions must unquestionably have
their own pain; and severe was its kind; but they precluded that
pain which Lady Russell would suffer in entering the house again;
and returning through the well…known apartments。
In such moments Anne had no power of saying to herself;
“These rooms ought to belong only to us。 Oh; how fallen in their
destination! How unworthily occupied! An ancient family to be so
driven away! Strangers filling their place!” No; except when she
thought of her mother; and remembered where she had been used
to sit and preside; she had no sigh of that description to heave。
Mrs。 Croft always met her with a kindness which gave her the
pleasure of fancying herself a favourite; and on the pr