DOWN　THE　KETTLE；　lock　the　door；　and　amidst　as　much　giggling　and　scrambling　as　possible；　they　get　round　a　tea…table；　on　which　all　manner　of　things　are　huddled　together。　Then　begin　mutual　railleries　and　mutual　confidences　amongst　the　young　ladies；　and　the　faint　scream　and　the　loud　laugh　is　heard；　and　the　romping　for　letters　and　pocket…books　begins；　and　gentlemen　are　called　by　their　surnames；　or　by　the　general　name　of　fellows！　　pleasant　fellows！　　charming　fellows！　　odious　fellows！　abominable　fellows！　　and　then　all　prudish　decorums　are　forgotten；　and　then　we　might　be　convinced　how　much　the　satirical　poet　was　mistaken　when　he　said
  There　is　no　woman　where　there's　no　reserve。
  The　merit　of　the　original　idea　of　a　raking　pot　of　tea　evidently　belongs　to　the　washerwoman　and　the　laundry…maid。　　But　why　should　not　we　have　LOW　LIFE　ABOVE　STAIRS　as　well　as　HIGH　LIFE　BELOW　STAIRS？
  GLOSSARY　26。　WE　GAINED　THE　DAY　BY　THIS　PIECE　OF　HONESTY。In　a　dispute　which　occurred　some　years　ago　in　Ireland；　between　Mr。　E。　and　Mr。　M。；　about　the　boundaries　of　a　farm；　an　old　tenant　of　Mr。　M。's　cut　a　SOD　from　Mr。　M。's　land；　and　inserted　it　in　a　spot　prepared　for　its　reception　in　Mr。　E。's　land；　so　nicely　was　it　inserted；　that　no　eye　could　detect　the　junction　of　the　grass。　The　old　man；　who　was　to　give　his　evidence　as　to　the　property；　stood　upon　the　inserted　sod　when　the　VIEWERS　came；　and　swore　that　the　ground　he　THEN　STOOD　UPON　belonged　to　his　landlord；　Mr。　M。
  The　Editor　had　flattered　himself　that　the　ingenious　contrivance　which　Thady　records；　and　the　similar　subterfuge　of　this　old　Irishman；　in　the　dispute　concerning　boundaries；　were　instances　of　'CUTENESS　unparalleled　in　all　but　Irish　story：　　an　English　friend；　however；　has　just　mortified　the　Editor's　national　vanity　by　an　account　of　the　following　custom；　which　prevails　in　part　of　Shropshire。　　It　is　discreditable　for　women　to　appear　abroad　after　the　birth　of　their　children　till　they　have　been　CHURCHED。　　To　avoid　this　reproach；　and　at　the　same　time　to　enjoy　the　pleasure　of　gadding；　whenever　a　woman　goes　abroad　before　she　has　been　to　church；　she　takes　a　tile　from　the　roof　of　her　house；　and　puts　it　upon　her　head：　　wearing　this　panoply　all　the　time　she　pays　her　visits；　her　conscience　is　perfectly　at　ease；　for　she　can　afterwards　safely　declare　to　the　clergyman；　that　she　'has　never　been　from　under　her　own　roof　till　she　came　to　be　churched。'
  GLOSSARY　27。　CARTON　AND　HALF…CARTON；Thady　means　cartron；　and　half…cartron。　（According　to　the　old　record　in　the　black　book　of　Dublin；　a　CANTRED　is　said　to　contain　30　VILLATAS　TERRAS；　which　are　also　called　QUARTERS　of　land　（quarterons；　CARTRONS）；　every　one　of　which　quarters　must　contain　so　much　ground　as　will　pasture　400　cows；　and　17　plough…lands。　A　knight's　fee　was　composed　of　8　hydes；　which　amount　to　160　acres；　and　that　is　generally　deemed　about　a　PLOUGH…LAND'
  The　Editor　was　favoured　by　a　learned　friend　with　the　above　extract；　from　a　MS。　of　Lord　Totness's　in　the　Lambeth　library。
  GLOSSARY　28。　WAKE。A　wake　in　England　means　a　festival　held　upon　the　anniversary　of　the　saint　of　the　parish。　　At　these　wakes；　rustic　games；　rustic　conviviality；　and　rustic　courtship；　are　pursued　with　all　the　ardour　and　all　the　appetite　which　accompany　such　pleasures　as　occur　but　seldom。　　In　Ireland　a　wake　is　a　midnight　meeting；　held　professedly　for　the　indulgence　of　holy　sorrow；　but　usually　it　is　converted　into　orgies　of　unholy　joy。　　When　an　Irish　man　or　woman　of　the　lower　order　dies；　the　straw　which　composed　the　bed；　whether　it　has　been　contained　in　a　bag　to　form　a　mattress；　or　simply　spread　upon　the　earthen　floor；　is　immediately　taken　out　of　the　house；　and　burned　before　the　cabin　door；　the　family　at　the　same　time　setting　up　the　death　howl。　The　ears　and　eyes　of　the　neighbours　being　thus　alarmed；　they　flock　to　the　house　of　the　deceased；　and　by　their　vociferous　sympathy　excite　and　at　the　same　time　soothe　the　sorrows　of　the　family。
  It　is　curious　to　observe　how　good　and　bad　are　mingled　in　human　institutions。　　In　countries　which　were　thinly　inhabited；　this　custom　prevented　private　attempts　against　the　lives　of　individuals；　and　formed　a　kind　of　coroner's　inquest　upon　the　body　which　had　recently　expired；　and　burning　the　straw　upon　which　the　sick　man　lay　became　a　simple　preservative　against　infection。　　At　night　the　dead　body　is　waked；　that　is　to　say；　all　the　friends　and　neighbours　of　the　deceased　collect　in　a　barn　or　stable；　where　the　corpse　is　laid　upon　some　boards；　or　an　unhinged　door；　supported　upon　stools；　the　face　exposed；　the　rest　of　the　body　covered　with　a　white　sheet。　　Round　the　body　are　stuck　in　brass　candlesticks；　which　have　been　borrowed　perhaps　at　five　miles'　distance；　as　many　candles　as　the　poor　person　can　beg　or　borrow；　observing　always　to　have　an　odd　number。　　Pipes　and　tobacco　are　first　distributed；　and　then；　according　to　the　ABILITY　of　the　deceased；　cakes　and　ale；　and　sometimes　whisky；　are　DEALT　to　the　company
  Deal　on；　deal　on；　my　merry　men　all；　　Deal　on　your　cakes　and　your　wine；　　For　whatever　is　dealt　at　her　funeral　to…day　　Shall　be　dealt　to…morrow　at　mine。
  After　a　fit　of　universal　sorrow；　and　the　comfort　of　a　universal　dram；　the　scandal　of　the　neighbourhood；　as　in　higher　circles；　occupies　the　company。　　The　young　lads　and　lasses　romp　with　one　another；　and　when　the　fathers　and　mothers　are　at　last　overcome　with　sleep　and　whisky　（VINO　ET　SOMNO）；　the　youth　become　more　enterprising；　and　are　frequently　successful。　　It　is　said　that　more　matches　are　made　at　wakes　than　at　weddings。
  GLOSSARY　29。　KILT。This　word　frequently　occurs　in　the　preceding　pages；　where　it　means　not　KILLED；　but　much　HURT。　In　Ireland；　not　only　cowards；　but　the　brave　'die　many　times　before　their　death。'There　KILLING　IS　NO　MURDER。
  End