第 5 节
作者:爱之冰点      更新:2022-04-14 11:03      字数:9294
  man。  Thea had often seen the desert sunrise;a light…
  hearted affair; where the sun springs out of bed and the
  world is golden in an instant。  But this canyon seemed to
  waken like an old man; with rheum and stiffness of the
  joints; with heaviness; and a dull; malignant mind。  She
  crouched against the wall while the stars faded; and thought
  what courage the early races must have had to endure so
  much for the little they got out of life。
  At last a kind of hopefulness broke in the air。  In a mo…
  ment the pine trees up on the edge of the rim were flashing
  with coppery fire。  The thin red clouds which hung above
  their pointed tops began to boil and move rapidly; weaving
  in and out like smoke。  The swallows darted out of their
  rock houses as at a signal; and flew upward; toward the
  rim。  Little brown birds began to chirp in the bushes along
  the watercourse down at the bottom of the ravine; where
  everything was still dusky and pale。  At first the golden
  light seemed to hang like a wave upon the rim of the can…
  yon; the trees and bushes up there; which one scarcely
  noticed at noon; stood out magnified by the slanting rays。
  Long; thin streaks of light began to reach quiveringly
  down into the canyon。  The red sun rose rapidly above the
  tops of the blazing pines; and its glow burst into the gulf;
  about the very doorstep on which Thea sat。  It bored into
  the wet; dark underbrush。  The dripping cherry bushes;
  the pale aspens; and the frosty PINONS were glittering and
  trembling; swimming in the liquid gold。  All the pale; dusty
  little herbs of the bean family; never seen by any one but
  a botanist; became for a moment individual and import…
  ant; their silky leaves quite beautiful with dew and light。
  The arch of sky overhead; heavy as lead a little while be…
  fore; lifted; became more and more transparent; and one
  could look up into depths of pearly blue。
  The savor of coffee and bacon mingled with the smell of
  wet cedars drying; and Fred called to Thea that he was
  ready for her。  They sat down in the doorway of his
  kitchen; with the warmth of the live coals behind them and
  the sunlight on their faces; and began their breakfast;
  Mrs。 Biltmer's thick coffee cups and the cream bottle
  between them; the coffee…pot and frying…pan conveniently
  keeping hot among the embers。
  〃I thought you were going back on the whole proposi…
  tion; Thea; when you were crawling along with that lan…
  tern。  I couldn't get a word out of you。〃
  〃I know。  I was cold and hungry; and I didn't believe
  there was going to be any morning; anyway。  Didn't you
  feel queer; at all?〃
  Fred squinted above his smoking cup。  〃Well; I am
  never strong for getting up before the sun。  The world
  looks unfurnished。  When I first lit the fire and had a square
  look at you; I thought I'd got the wrong girl。  Pale; grim
  you were a sight!〃
  Thea leaned back into the shadow of the rock room and
  warmed her hands over the coals。  〃It was dismal enough。
  How warm these walls are; all the way round; and your
  breakfast is so good。  I'm all right now; Fred。〃
  〃Yes; you're all right now。〃  Fred lit a cigarette and
  looked at her critically as her head emerged into the sun
  again。  〃You get up every morning just a little bit hand…
  somer than you were the day before。  I'd love you just as
  much if you were not turning into one of the loveliest wo…
  men I've ever seen; but you are; and that's a fact to be
  reckoned with。〃  He watched her across the thin line of
  smoke he blew from his lips。  〃What are you going to do
  with all that beauty and all that talent; Miss Kronborg?〃
  She turned away to the fire again。  〃I don't know what
  you're talking about;〃 she muttered with an awkwardness
  which did not conceal her pleasure。
  Ottenburg laughed softly。  〃Oh; yes; you do!  Nobody
  better!  You're a close one; but you give yourself away
  sometimes; like everybody else。  Do you know; I've de…
  cided that you never do a single thing without an ulterior
  motive。〃  He threw away his cigarette; took out his
  tobacco…pouch and began to fill his pipe。  〃You ride and
  fence and walk and climb; but I know that all the while
  you're getting somewhere in your mind。  All these things
  are instruments; and I; too; am an instrument。〃  He looked
  up in time to intercept a quick; startled glance from Thea。
  〃Oh; I don't mind;〃 he chuckled; 〃not a bit。  Every
  woman; every interesting woman; has ulterior motives;
  many of 'em less creditable than yours。  It's your constancy
  that amuses me。  You must have been doing it ever since
  you were two feet high。〃
  Thea looked slowly up at her companion's good…humored
  face。  His eyes; sometimes too restless and sympathetic in
  town; had grown steadier and clearer in the open air。  His
  short curly beard and yellow hair had reddened in the sun
  and wind。  The pleasant vigor of his person was always
  delightful to her; something to signal to and laugh with in
  a world of negative people。  With Fred she was never be…
  calmed。  There was always life in the air; always something
  coming and going; a rhythm of feeling and action;
  stronger than the natural accord of youth。  As she looked
  at him; leaning against the sunny wall; she felt a desire to
  be frank with him。  She was not willfully holding anything
  back。  But; on the other hand; she could not force things
  that held themselves back。  〃Yes; it was like that when I
  was little;〃 she said at last。  〃I had to be close; as you
  call it; or go under。  But I didn't know I had been like that
  since you came。  I've had nothing to be close about。  I
  haven't thought about anything but having a good time
  with you。  I've just drifted。〃
  Fred blew a trail of smoke out into the breeze and looked
  knowing。  〃Yes; you drift like a rifle ball; my dear。  It's
  youryour direction that I like best of all。  Most fellows
  wouldn't; you know。  I'm unusual。〃
  They both laughed; but Thea frowned questioningly。
  〃Why wouldn't most fellows?  Other fellows have liked
  me。〃
  〃Yes; serious fellows。  You told me yourself they were all
  old; or solemn。  But jolly fellows want to be the whole
  target。  They would say you were all brain and muscle;
  that you have no feeling。〃
  She glanced at him sidewise。  〃Oh; they would; would
  they?〃
  〃Of course they would;〃 Fred continued blandly。  〃Jolly
  fellows have no imagination。  They want to be the animat…
  ing force。  When they are not around; they want a girl to
  beextinct;〃 he waved his hand。  〃Old fellows like Mr。
  Nathanmeyer understand your kind; but among the young
  ones; you are rather lucky to have found me。  Even I
  wasn't always so wise。  I've had my time of thinking it
  would not bore me to be the Apollo of a homey flat; and
  I've paid out a trifle to learn better。  All those things get
  very tedious unless they are hooked up with an idea of
  some sort。  It's because we DON'T come out here only to
  look at each other and drink coffee that it's so pleasant to
  look at each other。〃  Fred drew on his pipe for a while;
  studying Thea's abstraction。  She was staring up at the
  far wall of the canyon with a troubled expression that drew
  her eyes narrow and her mouth hard。  Her hands lay in her
  lap; one over the other; the fingers interlacing。  〃Suppose;〃
  Fred came out at length;〃suppose I were to offer you
  what most of the young men I know would offer a girl
  they'd been sitting up nights about: a comfortable flat in
  Chicago; a summer camp up in the woods; musical even…
  ings; and a family to bring up。  Would it look attractive
  to you?〃
  Thea sat up straight and stared at him in alarm; glared
  into his eyes。  〃Perfectly hideous!〃 she exclaimed。
  Fred dropped back against the old stonework and
  laughed deep in his chest。  〃Well; don't be frightened。  I
  won't offer them。  You're not a nest…building bird。  You
  know I always liked your song; ‘Me for the jolt of the
  breakers!'  I understand。〃
  She rose impatiently and walked to the edge of the cliff。
  〃It's not that so much。  It's waking up every morning
  with the feeling that your life is your own; and