第 20 节
作者:
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married life; and; more especially; the message she confided to you。
A。 In doing this I shall break the letter of my oath; but; were I not
to do it; I should break the spirit thereof; therefore listen:
You have; I suppose; already learned from the statement of Darrow
Sahib what occurred at his last meeting with my cousin on Malabar
Hill。 Her act; in throwing a venomous serpent in his face; was one
which doubtless led him to believe she wished to kill him; although
it must have puzzled him to assign any reason for such a desire。
Not long after this incident my cousin married Ragobah; a man for
whom she had always cherished an ill…concealed hatred。 I saw but
little of her at this time; yet; for all that; I could not but
observe that she was greatly changed。 But one solution suggested
itself to me; and that was that she had discovered her lover false
to her and had; out of spite as it is called; hastily married
Ragobah。 I confess that when this conclusion forced itself home
upon me; I felt much dissatisfied with Lona; for I thought such a
course unworthy of her。 As I saw more of her I noted still greater
changes in her character。 As I had known her from childhood; she
had been most uniform in her temper and her conduct; now all this
was changed。 To…day; perhaps; she would be like her old self; …=20
only weaker and more fragile; … to…morrow a new being entirely;
stronger and more restless; with a demoniac light in her eyes; and
a sort of feverish malignancy dominating her whole personality。
When I noticed this I studied to avoid her。 If the Lona I had
known were merely an ideal of which no actual prototype existed; I
wished to be allowed to cherish that ideal rather than to have it
cruelly shattered to make room for the real Lona。 I had not seen
her for many weeks when one day; to my surprise; I received a note
from her。 It was short; and so impressed me that I can remember
every word of it。
〃My DEAR COUSIN:
〃I send this note to you by Kandia that you may get it before it is
too late for you to do what I wish。 I am a caged bird in my
husband's house。 My every movement is watched; and they would not
let you come to me were my husband at home; so; I beseech you; come
at once lest he should return before I have had time to intrust to
you my last request。 I am dying; Moro; and it is within your power
to say whether my spirit shall rest in peace; or be torn forever and
ever by the fangs of a horrible regret。 My secret is as lead upon
my soul and to you only can I tell it。 Come … come at once!
〃LONA。〃
You can imagine the effect of this revelation upon me better than
I can describe it。 I did not even know she was seriously ill; and
with her urgent request for an interview came the sad tidings that
she was dying; and the confirmation of my fear … that she had adopted
the religion of her English lover。 I lost no time in going to her。
I found her in a state of feverish expectation; fearful lest I should
either not be able to come at all; or her husband would return before
my arrival。 She was worn to a shadow of her former self; and I
realised with a pang that she was indeed dying。
〃I knew I could depend upon you; Moro;〃 she said as I entered; 〃even
though you think I have lost all claim upon your regard。 I said to
myself; 'He will come because of the respect he once had for me;'
and I was right。 Yes;〃 she continued; noticing my astonishment at
the change in her condition; 〃I am almost gone。 I should not have
lasted so long; were it not that I could not die till I had spoken。
Now I shall be free to go; and the horrible struggle will be over。
You have been much among the English; Moro; both here and in England;
and know they believe they will meet again in heaven those they have
loved on earth。〃
She sank back exhausted from excitement and effort; as she said this;
and I feared for a moment she would be unable to proceed。 I told
her what I knew about the Christian's hope of heaven; and suggested
to her that; as her husband might return at any moment; she had best
confide to me at once any trust with which she wished to charge me。
For a moment she made no reply; but said at length:
〃Yes; you are right。 It is not a very long story; and I suppose I
had better begin at the beginning。 You remember well my being rescued
by an English gentleman; a Mr。 John Darrow。 I afterward became well
acquainted; … in fact we were to be married。 To this union my parents
strongly objected。 They had promised me to Rama Ragobah; and were
horrified at my seeking to outrage the laws of caste by bestowing my
hand not only outside of my station but upon a foreigner and Christian
as well。 This had only the effect of causing me to meet the Sahib
secretly。 We chose for our meeting…place the great banyan on the top
of Malabar Hill; where I passed the happiest moments I have ever known。
Everything went well until the night on which we had planned to run
away。 We were to meet at the usual place and hour; take the night
train for Matheron Station; and there be married。
〃My heart bounded with joy as I climbed Malabar Hill on that fatal
evening; but my delight was of short duration。 In my fear lest I
should keep my lover waiting I must have arrived fully fifteen
minutes before the appointed time。 I was standing with my back
against the banyan tree; awaiting the first sound of his approach;
when my attention was attracted by what seemed to be two little
balls of fire shining from a clump of bushes almost directly in
front of me。 They seemed to burn with a lurid and wicked glare; and;
as my gaze became entangled by them; a tremor ran through my frame
and a cold sweat bathed my entire body。 Overcome by an unspeakable
dread I made one last frantic effort to withdraw my eyes; but could
not。 Then gradually; by slow degrees; my terror was succeeded by an
over…whelming fascination。 I felt myself drawn irresistibly toward
the thicket。 Then came a vague sense of falling; falling; falling;
and I knew no more; at least for some little time。
〃The next thing I remember is seeing my lover stretch out his arms
to me; while I was inspired with an unaccountable hatred of him so
bitter that it left me mute and transfixed。 Then he sought to
embrace me; and I threw a young cobra; which; coiled in a wicker
basket; had been placed in my hand; full in his face。 I think; also;
that I struck him; and then ran down the hill and straight to the
house of Ragobah。 What happened during the next few months I know
not。 I seemed to have been in a continual sleep full of dreams。
When I awoke I seemed conscious that I had dreamt; but could not
tell of what。 You can imagine my horror; my despair; when I was
first addressed as Ragobah's wife。 I denied the relation; but
everyone told me the same story … I was Ragobah Sahibah。 This shock;
coming as it did with the memory of my conduct that terrible night
on Malabar Hill; nearly killed me; and was followed by another long
period of the dream existence。 I began to think I was a sufferer
from some terrible brain disease; and to doubt which was my real
existence; the dreams or the waking moments。
〃One day when; for the first time in several weeks; I was in
possession of my normal faculties; Ragobah came into my room and
sat down beside me。 I arose instantly and fled to the farther
corner of the apartment。 He pursued me and sought to conquer my all
too apparent aversion for him by terms of endearment; but the more
he pressed his suit the more my loathing grew until; maddened by
references made to Darrow Sahib; I lost all self…control and
permitted him to learn my detestation of him。 He heard me through
in silence; his face growing darker with every word; and when I had
finished said with slow and studied malice:
〃'You forget that you are my wife and that I can follow my entreaty
by command。 You spurn my love。 You are not yet weaned from that
English cur whose life; let me tell you; is in my hands。 Fool; can
you not see how powerless you are? I have but to will you to kill
him and your first cursed failure on Malabar Hill will be washed out
with his infidel blood。 You will do well to yield peaceably。 The
thread of your very existence passes through my hands; to cut or
tangle it as I list … yield you must!' With this he strode
frantically from the room; leaving me more dead than alive。 As
he disclosed his fiendish secret something about my heart kept
tightening with every word till; at length; it seemed as if it must
burst; so terrible was the pressure。 I could not breathe。 My lungs
seemed filled with molten lead。 How long this agony continued I do
not know; for the thread of consciousness broke under its terrible
tension and I fell senseless upon the floor。
〃When I recovered from my swoon the inexpressible horror of my
situation again descended upon my spirit like a snuffer upon a
candle。 I was Ragobah's wife; his slave; his tool; as powerless to
resist his will as if I were one of his limbs。 All was now clear。
The long sleep; crowded with unremembered dreams; represented the
period when I was under Ra