My　Discovery　of　England
  by　Leacock；　Stephen
  Introduction　of　Mr。　Stephen　Leacock　Given　by　Sir　Owen　Seaman　on　the　Occasion　of　His　First　Lecture　in　London
  LADIES　AND　GENTLEMEN：　　It　is　usual　on　these　occasions　for　the　chairman　to　begin　something　like　this：　〃The　lecturer；　I　am　sure；　needs　no　introduction　from　me。〃　And　indeed；　when　I　have　been　the　lecturer　and　somebody　else　has　been　the　chairman；　I　have　more　than　once　suspected　myself　of　being　the　better　man　of　the　two。　Of　course　I　hope　I　should　always　have　the　good　mannersI　am　sure　Mr。　Leacock　hasto　disguise　that　suspicion。　However；　one　has　to　go　through　these　formalities；　and　I　will　therefore　introduce　the　lecturer　to　you。
  Ladies　and　gentlemen；　this　is　Mr。　Stephen　Leacock。　Mr。　Leacock；　this　is　the　flower　of　London　intelligenceor　perhaps　I　should　say　one　of　the　flowers；　the　rest　are　coming　to　your　other　lectures。
  In　ordinary　social　life　one　stops　at　an　introduction　and　does　not　proceed　to　personal　details。　But　behaviour　on　the　platform；　as　on　the　stage；　is　seldom　ordinary。　I　will　therefore　tell　you　a　thing　or　two　about　Mr。　Leacock。　In　the　first　place；　by　vocation　he　is　a　Professor　of　Political　Economy；　and　he　practises　humourfrenzied　fiction　instead　of　frenzied　financeby　way　of　recreation。　There　he　differs　a　good　deal　from　me；　who　have　to　study　the　products　of　humour　for　my　living；　and　by　way　of　recreation　read　Mr。　Leacock　on　political　economy。
  Further；　Mr。　Leacock　is　all…British；　being　English　by　birth　and　Canadian　by　residence；　I　mention　this　for　two　reasons：　firstly；　because　England　and　the　Empire　are　very　proud　to　claim　him　for　their　own；　and；　secondly；　because　I　do　not　wish　his　nationality　to　be　confused　with　that　of　his　neighbours　on　the　other　side。　For　English　and　American　humourists　have　not　always　seen　eye　to　eye。　When　we　fail　to　appreciate　their　humour　they　say　we　are　too　dull　and　effete　to　understand　it：　and　when　they　do　not　appreciate　ours　they　say　we　haven't　got　any。
  Now　Mr。　Leacock's　humour　is　British　by　heredity；　but　he　has　caught　something　of　the　spirit　of　American　humour　by　force　of　association。　This　puts　him　in　a　similar　position　to　that　in　which　I　found　myself　once　when　I　took　the　liberty　of　swimming　across　a　rather　large　loch　in　Scotland。　After　climbing　into　the　boat　I　was　in　the　act　of　drying　myself　when　I　was　accosted　by　the　proprietor　of　the　hotel　adjacent　to　the　shore。　〃You　have　no　business　to　be　bathing　here；〃　he　shouted。　〃I'm　not；〃　I　said；　〃I'm　bathing　on　the　other　side。〃　In　the　same　way；　if　anyone　on　either　side　of　the　water　is　unintelligent　enough　to　criticise　Mr。　Leacock's　humour；　he　can　always　say　it　comes　from　the　other　side。　But　the　truth　is　that　his　humour　contains　all　that　is　best　in　the　humour　of　both　hemispheres。
  Having　fulfilled　my　duty　as　chairman；　in　that　I　have　told　you　nothing　that　you　did　not　know　beforeexcept；　perhaps；　my　swimming　feat；　which　never　got　into　the　Press　because　I　have　a　very　bad　publicity　agentI　will　not　detain　you　longer　from　what　you　are　really　wanting　to　get　at；　but　ask　Mr。　Leacock　to　proceed　at　once　with　his　lecture　on　〃Frenzied　Fiction。〃
  CONTENTS
  I。　　　　　　THE　BALANCE　OF　TRADE　IN　IMPRESSIONS　II。　　　　　I　AM　INTERVIEWED　BY　THE　PRESS　III。　　　　IMPRESSIONS　OF　LONDON　IV。　　　　　A　CLEAR　VIEW　OF　THE　GOVERNMENT　AND　POLITICS　OF　ENGLAND　V。　　　　　　OXFORD　AS　I　SEE　IT　VI。　　　　　THE　BRITISH　AND　THE　AMERICAN　PRESS　VII。　　　　BUSINESS　IN　ENGLAND　VIII。　　　IS　PROHIBITION　COMING　TO　ENGLAND？　IX。　　　　　〃WE　HAVE　WITH　US　TO…NIGHT〃　X。　　　　　　HAVE　THE　ENGLISH　ANY　SENSE　OF　HUMOUR？
  My　Discovery　of　England
  I。　The　Balance　of　Trade　in　Impressions
  FOR　some　years　past　a　rising　tide　of　lecturers　and　literary　men　from　England　has　washed　upon　the　shores　of　our　North　American　continent。　The　purpose　of　each　one　of　them　is　to　make　a　new　discovery　of　America。　They　come　over　to　us　travelling　in　great　simplicity；　and　they　return　in　the　ducal　suite　of　the　Aquitania。　They　carry　away　with　them　their　impressions　of　America；　and　when　they　reach　England　they　sell　them。　This　export　of　impressions　has　now　been　going　on　so　long　that　the　balance　of　trade　in　impressions　is　all　disturbed。　There　is　no　doubt　that　the　Americans　and　Canadians　have　been　too　generous　in　this　matter　of　giving　away　impressions。　We　emit　them　with　the　careless　ease　of　a　glow　worm；　and　like　the　glow…worm　ask　for　nothing　in　return。
  But　this　irregular　and　one…sided　traffic　has　now　assumed　such　great　proportions　that　we　are　compelled　to　ask　whether　it　is　right　to　allow　these　people　to　carry　away　from　us　impressions　of　the　very　highest　commercial　value　without　giving　us　any　pecuniary　compensation　whatever。　British　lecturers　have　been　known　to　land　in　New　York；　pass　the　customs；　drive　uptown　in　a　closed　taxi；　and　then　forward　to　England　from　the　closed　taxi　itself　ten　dollars'　worth　of　impressions　of　American　national　character。　I　have　myself　seen　an　English　literary　man；the　biggest；　I　believe：　he　had　at　least　the　appearance　of　it；　sit　in　the　corridor　of　a　fashionable　New　York　hotel　and　look　gloomily　into　his　hat；　and　then　from　his　very　hat　produce　an　estimate　of　the　genius　of　Amer　ica　at　twenty　cents　a　word。　The　nice　question　as　to　whose　twenty　cents　that　was　never　seems　to　have　occurred　to　him。
  I　am　not　writing　in　the　faintest　spirit　of　jealousy。　I　quite　admit　the　extraordinary　ability　that　is　involved　in　this　peculiar　susceptibility　to　impressions。　I　have　estimated　that　some　of　these　English　visitors　have　been　able　to　receive　impressions　at　the　rate　of　four　to　the　second；　in　fact；　they　seem　to　get　them　every　time　they　see　twenty　cents。　But　without　jealousy　or　complaint；　I　do　feel　that　somehow　these　impressions　are　inadequate　and　fail　to　depict　us　as　we　really　are。
  Let　me　illustrate　what　I　mean。　Here　are　some　of　the　impressions　of　New　York；　gathered　from　visitors'　discoveries　of　America；　and　reproduced　not　perhaps　word　for　word　but　as　closely　as　I　can　remember　them。　〃New　York〃；　writes　one；　〃nestling　at　the　foot　of　the　Hudson；　gave　me　an　impression　of　cosiness；　of　tiny　graciousness：　in　short；　of　weeness。〃　But　compare　this〃New　York；〃　according　to　another　discoverer　of　America；　〃gave　me　an　impression　of　size；　of　vastness；　there　seemed　to　be　a　big　ness　about　it　not　found　in　smaller　places。〃　A　third　visitor　writes；　〃New　York　struck　me　as　hard；　cruel；　almost　inhuman。〃　This；　I　think；　was　because　his　taxi　driver　had　charged　him　three　dollars。　〃The　first　thing　that　struck　me　in　New　York；〃　writes　another；　〃was　the　Statue　of　Liberty。〃　But；　after　all；　that　was　only　natural：　it　was　the　first　thing　that　could　reach　him。
  Nor　is　it　only　the　impressions　of　the　metropolis　that　seem　to　fall　short　of　reality。　Let　me　quote　a　few　others　taken　at　random　here　and　there　over　the　continent。
  〃I　took　from　Pittsburg；〃　says　an　English　visitor；　〃an　impression　of　something　that　I　could　hardly　definean　atmosphere　rather　than　an　idea。〃
  All　very　well；　But；　after　all；　had　he　the　right　to　take　it？　Granted　that　Pittsburg　has　an　atmosphere　rather　than　an　idea；　the　attempt　to　carry　away　this　atmosphere　surely　borders　on　rapacity。
  〃New　Orleans；〃　writes　another　visitor；　〃opened　her　arms　to　me　and　bestowed　upon　me　the　soft　and　languorous　kiss　of　the　Caribbean。〃　This　statement　may　or　may　not　be　true；　but　in　any　case　it　hardly　seems　the　fair　thing　to　mention　it。
  〃Chicago；〃　according　to　another　book　of　discovery；　〃struck　me　as　a　large　city。　Situated　as　it　is　and　where　it　is；　it　seems　destined　to　be　a　place　of　importance。〃
  Or　here；　again；　is　a　form　of　〃impression〃　that　recurs　again　and　again…〃At　Cleveland　I　felt　a　distinct　note　of　optimism　in　the　air。〃
  This　same　note　of　optimism　is　found　also　at　Toledo；　at　Torontoin　short；　I　believe　it　indicates　nothing　more　than　that　some　one　gave　the　visitor　a　cigar。　Indeed　it　generally　occurs　during　the　familiar　scene　in　which　the　visitor　describes　his　cordial　reception　in　an　unsuspecting　American　town：　thus：
  〃I　was　met　at　the　station　（called　in　America　the　depot）　by　a　member　of　the　Municipal　Council　driving　his　own　motor　car。　After　giving　me　an　excellent　cigar；　he　proceeded　to　drive　me　about　the　town；　to　various　points　of　interest；　including　the　municipal　abattoir；　where　he　gave　me　another　excellent　cigar；　the　Carnegie　public　library；　the　First　National　Bank　（the　courteous　manager　of　which　gave　me　an　excellent　cigar）　and　the　Second　Congregational　Church　where　I　had　the　pleasure　of　meeting　the　pastor。　The　pastor；　who　appeared　a　man　of　breadth　and　culture；　gave　me　another　cigar。　In　the　evening　a　dinner；　admirably　cooked　and　excellently　served；　was　tendered　to　me　at　a　leading　hotel。〃　And　of　course　he　took　it。　After　which　his　statement　that　he　carried　away　from　the　town　a　feeling　of　optimism　explains　itself：　he　had　four　cigars；　the　dinner；　and　half　a　page　of　impressions　at　twenty　cents　a　word。
  Nor　is　it　only　by　the　theft　of　impressions　that　we　suffer　at　the　hands　of　these　English　discoverers　of　America。　It　is　a　part　of　the　system　also　that　we　have　to　submit　to　being　lectured　to　by　our　talented　visitors。　It　is　now　quite　understood　that　as　soon　as　an　English　literary　man　finishes　a　book　he　is　rushed　across　to　America　to　tell　the　people　of　the　United　States　and　Canada　all　about　it；　and　how　he　came　to　write　it。　At　home；　in　his　own　country；　they　d