第 5 节
作者:淋雨      更新:2021-12-07 09:32      字数:9322
  influence   and   care   are   often   dominant   in   the   household。         Affection;   as
  distinguished   from   simple   kindliness;   may   or   may   not   exist:            when   it
  does   it   either   depends   on   qualities   in   the   parties   that   would   produce   it
  equally if they were of no kin to one another; or it is a more or less morbid
  survival of   the nursing   passion;   for affection between adults (if they  are
  really adult in mind and not merely grown…up children) and creatures so
  relatively selfish and cruel as children necessarily are without knowing it
  or meaning it; cannot be called natural:              in fact the evidence shews that it
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  is   easier   to   love   the   company   of   a   dog   than   of   a   commonplace   child
  between   the   ages   of   six   and   the   beginnings   of   controlled   maturity;   for
  women   who   cannot   bear   to   be   separated   from   their   pet   dogs   send   their
  children to boarding schools cheerfully。               They may say and even believe
  that    in   allowing     their   children     to  leave    home      they   are   sacrificing
  themselves for their children's good; but there are very few pet dogs who
  would not be the better for a month or two spent elsewhere than in a lady's
  lap    or  roasting    on   a  drawingroom        hearthrug。     Besides;      to  allege   that
  children   are  better   continually  away  from  home   is   to   give  up   the   whole
  popular   sentimental   theory   of   the   family;   yet   the   dogs   are   kept   and   the
  children are banished。
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  Child Fanciers
  There is; however; a good deal of spurious family affection。                 There is
  the clannishness that will make a dozen brothers and sisters who quarrel
  furiously among themselves close up their ranks and make common cause
  against a brother…in…law or a sister…in…law。           And there is a strong sense of
  property     in  children;    which    often   makes    mothers     and   fathers   bitterly
  jealous of allowing anyone else to interfere with their children; whom they
  may none the less treat very badly。           And there is an extremely dangerous
  craze for children which leads certain people to establish orphanages and
  baby farms and schools; seizing any pretext for filling their houses   with
  children exactly as some eccentric old ladies and gentlemen fill theirs with
  cats。    In   such   places   the   children   are   the   victims   of   all   the   caprices   of
  doting affection and all the excesses of lascivious cruelty。              Yet the people
  who have this morbid craze seldom have any difficulty in finding victims。
  Parents and guardians are so worried by children and so anxious to get rid
  of    them   that   anyone    who    is  willing   to  take   them    off  their  hands    is
  welcomed and whitewashed。              The very people who read with indignation
  of Squeers and Creakle in the novels of Dickens are quite ready to hand
  over    their   own    children   to  Squeers    and    Creakle;   and   to  pretend    that
  Squeers       and    Creakle     are   monsters     of   the    past。     But    read    the
  autobiography   of       Stanley   the   traveller;  or  sit  in  the  company   of     men
  talking about their school…days; and you will soon find that fiction; which
  must; if it is to be sold and read; stop short of being positively sickening;
  dare not tell the whole truth about the people to whom children are handed
  over    on   educational     pretexts。    Not    very   long   ago    a  schoolmaster      in
  Ireland was murdered by his boys; and for reasons which were never made
  public it was at first decided not to prosecute the murderers。               Yet all these
  flogging schoolmasters and orphanage fiends and baby farmers are 〃lovers
  of   children。〃     They   are   really   child   fanciers   (like   bird   fanciers   or   dog
  fanciers) by  irresistible natural predilection; never happy unless they  are
  surrounded   by   their   victims;   and   always   certain   to   make   their   living   by
  accepting      the   custody    of   children;   no   matter    how    many     alternative
  occupations may be available。            And bear in mind that they are only the
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  extreme       instances      of   what     is   commonly        called    natural     affection;
  apparently because it is obviously unnatural。
  The   really   natural   feeling   of   adults   for   children   in   the   long   prosaic
  intervals between the moments of affectionate impulse is just that feeling
  that   leads   them   to   avoid   their   care   and   constant   company   as   a   burden
  beyond bearing; and to pretend that the places they send them to are well
  conducted; beneficial; and indispensable to the success of the children in
  after life。    The true cry of the kind mother after her little rosary of kisses
  is   〃Run   away;   darling。〃      It   is   nicer   than   〃Hold   your   noise;   you   young
  devil;   or   it   will   be   the   worse   for   you〃;   but   fundamentally   it   means   the
  same     thing:    that    if  you   compel     an   adult   and   a  child   to   live  in  one
  another's company either the adult or the child will be miserable。                       There
  is nothing whatever unnatural or wrong or shocking in this fact; and there
  is   no   harm   in   it  if  only   it  be  sensibly   faced     and   provided     for。   The
  mischief that it does at present is produced by our efforts to ignore it; or to
  smother it under a heap of sentimental lies and false pretences。
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  Childhood as a State of Sin
  Unfortunately   all   this   nonsense   tends   to   accumulate   as   we   become
  more     sympathetic。      In    many    families    it  is  still  the  custom    to  treat
  childhood frankly as a state of sin; and impudently proclaim the monstrous
  principle that little children should be seen and not heard; and to enforce a
  set of prison rules designed solely to make cohabitation with children as
  convenient      as  possible    for  adults   without    the   smallest   regard    for  the
  interests; either remote or immediate; of the children。               This system tends
  to produce a tough; rather brutal; stupid; unscrupulous class; with a fixed
  idea    that  all  enjoyment     consists   in  undetected     sinning;    and   in  certain
  phases of civilization people of this kind are apt to get the upper hand of
  more     amiable     and   conscientious      races   and   classes。    They     have    the
  ferocity of a chained dog; and are proud of it。               But the end of it is that
  they are always in chains; even at the height of their military or political
  success:     they win everything on condition that they are afraid to enjoy it。
  Their civilizations rest on intimidation; which is so necessary to them that
  when   they   cannot   find   anybody   brave   enough   to   intimidate   them   they
  intimidate   themselves   and   live   in   a   continual   moral   and   political   panic。
  In the end they get found out and bullied。              But that is not the point that
  concerns us here; which is; that they are in some respects better brought up
  than    the  children    of  sentimental     people    who    are  always    anxious    and
  miserable      about   their  duty   to  their  children;    and   who    end   by  neither
  making their children happy nor having a tolerable life for themselves。                   A
  selfish tyrant you know where to have; and he (or she) at least does not
  confuse     your   affections;    but  a  conscientious      and   kindly   meddler     may
  literally worry you out of your senses。            It is fortunate that only very few
  parents are capable of doing what they conceive their duty continuously or
  even at all; and that still fewer are tough enough to ride roughshod over
  their children at home。
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  School
  But please   observe   the   limitation   〃at home。〃         What   private   amateur
  parental enterprise cannot do may be done very effectively by organize