第 4 节
作者:淋雨      更新:2021-12-07 09:32      字数:9322
  than personal rule; and to spread their attempts at moral monster…making
  over so many children; that each child has enough freedom; and enough
  sport   in   the   prophylactic   process   of   laughing   at   its   elders   behind   their
  backs; to escape with much less damage than the single child。                    In a large
  school   the   system   may   be   bad;   but   the   personal   influence   of   the   head
  master has to be exerted; when it is exerted at all; in a public way; because
  he   has   little   more   power   of   working   on   the   affections   of   the   individual
  scholar in the intimate way that; for example; the mother of a single child
  can;   than   the   prime   minister   has   of   working   on   the   affections   of   any
  individual voter。
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  A TREATISE ON PARENTS AND CHILDREN
  Children as Nuisances
  Experienced parents; when children's rights are preached to them; very
  naturally ask whether children are to be allowed to do what they like。 The
  best reply is to ask whether adults are to be allowed to do what they like。
  The two cases are the same。           The adult who is nasty is not allowed to do
  what he likes:       neither can the child who likes to be nasty。             There is no
  difference in principle between the rights of a child and those of an adult:
  the   difference   in   their   cases   is   one   of   circumstance。   An   adult   is   not
  supposed   to   be   punished   except   by   process   of   law;   nor;   when   he   is   so
  punished; is the person whom he has injured allowed to act as judge; jury;
  and executioner。        It is true that employers do act in this way every day to
  their   workpeople;      but   this  is  not  a  justified   and   intended    part   of  the
  situation:     it is an abuse of Capitalism which nobody defends in principle。
  As between child and parent or nurse it is not argued about because it is
  inevitable。      You   cannot   hold   an   impartial   judicial   inquiry   every   time   a
  child    misbehaves       itself。   To    allow    the  child    to  misbehave      without
  instantly making it unpleasantly conscious of the fact would be to spoil it。
  The adult has therefore to take   action of some   sort with   nothing but his
  conscience to shield the child from injustice or unkindness。                   The action
  may be a torrent of scolding culminating in a furious smack causing terror
  and   pain;   or   it   may   be   a   remonstrance   causing   remorse;   or   it   may   be   a
  sarcasm causing shame and humiliation; or it may be a sermon causing the
  child to believe that it is a little reprobate on the road to hell。              The child
  has no defence in any case except the kindness and conscience of the adult;
  and     the   adult   had    better   not   forget   this;   for  it  involves     a  heavy
  responsibility。
  And   now   comes   our   difficulty。      The   responsibility;   being   so   heavy;
  cannot be discharged by persons of feeble character or intelligence。 And
  yet people of high character and intelligence cannot be plagued with the
  care    of  children。     A   child   is  a  restless;   noisy   little  animal;   with    an
  insatiable     appetite     for   knowledge;      and    consequently       a   maddening
  persistence in asking questions。          If the child is to remain in the room with
  a  highly  intelligent   and  sensitive adult;   it   must   be told;  and   if   necessary
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  A TREATISE ON PARENTS AND CHILDREN
  forced; to sit still and not speak; which is injurious to its health; unnatural;
  unjust;  and   therefore   cruel   and   selfish   beyond   toleration。    Consequently
  the    highly   intelligent    and   sensitive   adult   hands    the   child   over   to  a
  nurserymaid who has no nerves and can therefore stand more noise;  but
  who has also no scruples; and may therefore be very bad company for the
  child。
  Here we have come to the central fact of the question:                a fact nobody
  avows; which is yet the true explanation of the monstrous system of child
  imprisonment   and   torture   which   we   disguise   under   such   hypocrisies   as
  education; training; formation of character and the rest of it。               This fact is
  simply that a child is a nuisance to a grown…up person。               What is more; the
  nuisance   becomes        more   and   more   intolerable     as  the  grown…up   person
  becomes more cultivated; more sensitive; and more deeply engaged in the
  highest methods of adult work。           The child at play is noisy and ought to be
  noisy:     Sir Isaac Newton at work is quiet and ought to be quiet。               And the
  child should spend most of its time at play; whilst the adult should spend
  most of his time at work。         I am not now writing on behalf of persons who
  coddle themselves into a ridiculous condition of nervous feebleness; and at
  last imagine themselves unable to work under conditions of bustle which
  to healthy people are cheerful and stimulating。               I am sure that if people
  had to choose between living   where the noise of   children never  stopped
  and where it was never heard; all the goodnatured and sound people would
  prefer the incessant noise to the incessant silence。             But that choice is not
  thrust upon us by the nature of things。            There is no reason why children
  and adults should not see just as much of one another as is good for them;
  no more and no less。          Even at present you are not compelled to choose
  between sending your child to a boarding school (which means getting rid
  of   it   altogether   on   more   or   less   hypocritical   pretences)   and   keeping   it
  continually at home。         Most working folk today either send their children
  to day schools or turn them out of doors。            This solves the problem for the
  parents。     It does not solve it for the children; any more than the tethering
  of   a   goat   in   a   field   or   the   chasing   of   an   unlicensed   dog   into   the   streets
  solves it for the goat or the dog; but it shews that in no class are people
  willing to endure the society of their children; and consequently that it is
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  A TREATISE ON PARENTS AND CHILDREN
  an   error   to   believe   that   the   family  provides   children   with   edifying   adult
  society; or that the family is a social unit。             The family is in that; as in so
  many   other   respects;   a   humbug。         Old   people   and   young   people   cannot
  walk at the same pace without distress and final loss of health to one of the
  parties。     When      they   are   sitting   indoors    they    cannot    endure     the  same
  degrees   of   temperature   and   the   same   supplies   of   fresh   air。      Even   if   the
  main     factors    of  noise;   restlessness;     and   inquisitiveness      are  left  out   of
  account;  children   can   stand   with indifference  sights; sounds;  smells;  and
  disorders that would make an adult of fifty utterly miserable; whilst on the
  other   hand   such   adults   find   a   tranquil   happiness   in   conditions   which   to
  children mean unspeakable boredom。 And since our system is nevertheless
  to pack them all into the same house and pretend that they are happy; and
  that this particular sort of happiness is the foundation of virtue; it is found
  that   in   discussing   family   life   we   never   speak   of   actual   adults   or   actual
  children; or of realities of any sort; but always of ideals such as The Home;
  a Mother's Influence; a Father's Care; Filial Piety; Duty; Affection; Family
  Life; etc。 etc。; which are no doubt very comforting phrases; but which beg
  the question of what a home and a mother's influence and a father's care
  and   so   forth   really  come   to   in practice。  How  many  hours   a   week   of the
  time   when   his   children   are   out   of   bed   does   the   ordinary   bread…winning
  father spend in the company of his children or even in the same building
  with them?        The home may be a thieves' kitchen; the mother a procuress;
  the father a violent drunkard; or the mother and father may be fashionable
  people     who     see   their  children     three   or  four   times    a  year    during    the
  holidays;   and   then   not   oftener   than   they   can   help;   living   meanwhile   in
  daily    and    intimate    contact     with   their   valets   and    lady's…maids;      whose
  influence   and   care   are   often   dominant   in   the   household。         Affection;   as