第 3 节
作者:
淋雨 更新:2021-12-07 09:32 字数:9322
provided it be the hasty expression of normal provoked resentment and not
vicious cruelty; cannot harm a child as this sort of pious fraud harms it。
There is a legal limit to physical cruelty; and there are also human limits to
it。 There is an active Society which brings to book a good many parents
who starve and torture and overwork their children; and intimidates a good
many more。 When parents of this type are caught; they are treated as
criminals; and not infrequently the police have some trouble to save them
from being lynched。 The people against whom children are wholly
unprotected are those who devote themselves to the very mischievous and
cruel sort of abortion which is called bringing up a child in the way it
should go。 Now nobody knows the way a child should go。 All the ways
discovered so far lead to the horrors of our existing civilizations; described
quite justifiably by Ruskin as heaps of agonizing human maggots;
struggling with one another for scraps of food。 Pious fraud is an attempt
to pervert that precious and sacred thing the child's conscience into an
instrument of our own convenience; and to use that wonderful and terrible
power called Shame to grind our own axe。 It is the sin of stealing fire
from the altar: a sin so impudently practised by popes; parents; and
pedagogues; that one can hardly expect the nurserymaids to see any harm
in stealing a few cinders when they are worrited。
9
… Page 10…
A TREATISE ON PARENTS AND CHILDREN
Into the blackest depths of this violation of children's souls one can
hardly bear to look; for here we find pious fraud masking the violation of
the body by obscene cruelty。 Any parent or school teacher who takes a
secret and abominable delight in torture is allowed to lay traps into which
every child must fall; and then beat it to his or her heart's content。 A
gentleman once wrote to me and said; with an obvious conviction that he
was being most reasonable and high minded; that the only thing he beat
his children for was failure in perfect obedience and perfect truthfulness。
On these attributes; he said; he must insist。 As one of them is not a virtue
at all; and the other is the attribute of a god; one can imagine what the
lives of this gentleman's children would have been if it had been possible
for him to live down to his monstrous and foolish pretensions。 And yet
he might have written his letter to The Times (he very nearly did; by the
way) without incurring any danger of being removed to an asylum; or
even losing his reputation for taking a very proper view of his parental
duties。 And at least it was not a trivial view; nor an ill meant one。 It
was much more respectable than the general consensus of opinion that if a
school teacher can devise a question a child cannot answer; or overhear it
calling omega omeega; he or she may beat the child viciously。 Only; the
cruelty must be whitewashed by a moral excuse; and a pretence of
reluctance。 It must be for the child's good。 The assailant must say
〃This hurts me more than it hurts you。〃 There must be hypocrisy as well as
cruelty。 The injury to the child would be far less if the voluptuary said
frankly 〃I beat you because I like beating you; and I shall do it whenever I
can contrive an excuse for it。〃 But to represent this detestable lust to the
child as Divine wrath; and the cruelty as the beneficent act of God; which
is exactly what all our floggers do; is to add to the torture of the body; out
of which the flogger at least gets some pleasure; the maiming and blinding
of the child's soul; which can bring nothing but horror to anyone。
10
… Page 11…
A TREATISE ON PARENTS AND CHILDREN
The Manufacture of Monsters
This industry is by no means peculiar to China。 The Chinese (they
say) make physical monsters。 We revile them for it and proceed to make
moral monsters of our own children。 The most excusable parents are
those who try to correct their own faults in their offspring。 The parent
who says to his child: 〃I am one of the successes of the Almighty:
therefore imitate me in every particular or I will have the skin off your
back〃 (a quite common attitude) is a much more absurd figure than the
man who; with a pipe in his mouth; thrashes his boy for smoking。 If you
must hold yourself up to your children as an object lesson (which is not at
all necessary); hold yourself up as a warning and not as an example。 But
you had much better let the child's character alone。 If you once allow
yourself to regard a child as so much material for you to manufacture into
any shape that happens to suit your fancy you are defeating the experiment
of the Life Force。 You are assuming that the child does not know its own
business; and that you do。 In this you are sure to be wrong: the child
feels the drive of the Life Force (often called the Will of God); and you
cannot feel it for him。 Handel's parents no doubt thought they knew
better than their child when they tried to prevent his becoming a musician。
They would have been equally wrong and equally unsuccessful if they had
tried to prevent the child becoming a great rascal had its genius lain in that
direction。 Handel would have been Handel; and Napoleon and Peter of
Russia _them_selves in spite of all the parents in creation; because; as
often happens; they were stronger than their parents。 But this does not
happen always。 Most children can be; and many are; hopelessly warped
and wasted by parents who are ignorant and silly enough to suppose that
they know what a human being ought to be; and who stick at nothing in
their determination to force their children into their moulds。 Every child
has a right to its own bent。 It has a right to be a Plymouth Brother though
its parents be convinced atheists。 It has a right to dislike its mother or
father or sister or brother or uncle or aunt if they are antipathetic to it。 It
has a right to find its own way and go its own way; whether that way
seems wise or foolish to others; exactly as an adult has。 It has a right to
11
… Page 12…
A TREATISE ON PARENTS AND CHILDREN
privacy as to its own doings and its own affairs as much as if it were its
own father。
12
… Page 13…
A TREATISE ON PARENTS AND CHILDREN
Small and Large Families
These rights have now become more important than they used to be;
because the modern practice of limiting families enables them to be more
effectually violated。 In a family of ten; eight; six; or even four children;
the rights of the younger ones to a great extent take care of themselves and
of the rights of the elder ones too。 Two adult parents; in spite of a house
to keep and an income to earn; can still interfere to a disastrous extent with
the rights and liberties of one child。 But by the time a fourth child has
arrived; they are not only outnumbered two to one; but are getting tired of
the thankless and mischievous job of bringing up their children in the way
they think they should go。 The old observation that members of large
families get on in the world holds good because in large families it is
impossible for each child to receive what schoolmasters call 〃individual
attention。〃 The children may receive a good deal of individual attention
from one another in the shape of outspoken reproach; ruthless ridicule; and
violent resistance to their attempts at aggression; but the parental despots
are compelled by the multitude of their subjects to resort to political rather
than personal rule; and to spread their attempts at moral monster…making
over so many children; that each child has enough