第 76 节
作者:吹嘻      更新:2021-11-05 20:37      字数:9322
  spirit sobs; and now they were pressing on; crowding through the
  room;eager; eager to reach their prey。  Nearer they came;nearer
  still!  They were round my bed now!  Through my closed eyelids I
  could almost see their dreadful shapes; in all my quivering flesh I
  felt their terrors as they bent over me;lower; lower。 。 。 。
  With a start I aroused myself and sat up。  Was I asleep or awake?
  I was trembling all over still; and it required the greatest effort
  of courage I had ever made to enable me to spring from my bed and
  strike a light。  What a state my nerves or my digestion must be in!
  From my childhood the wind had always affected me strangely; and I
  blamed myself now for allowing my imagination to run away with me
  at the first。  I found a novel which I had brought up to my room
  with me; one of the modern; Chinese…American school; where human
  nature is analyzed with the patient; industrious indifference of
  the true Celestial。  I took the book to bed with me; and soon under
  its soothing influences fell asleep。  I dreamt a good deal;
  nightmares; the definite recollection of which; as is so often the
  case; vanished from my mind as soon as I awoke; leaving only a
  vague impression of horror。  They had been connected with the wind;
  of that alone I was conscious; and I went down to breakfast;
  maliciously hoping that others' rest had been as much disturbed as
  my own。
  To my surprise; however; I found that I had again been the only
  sufferer。  Indeed; so impressed were most of the party with the
  quiet in which their night had been passed; that they boldly
  declared my storm to have been the creature of my dreams。  There is
  nothing more annoying when you feel yourself aggrieved by fate than
  to be told that your troubles have originated in your own fancy; so
  I dropped the subject。  Though the discussion spread for a few
  minutes round the whole table; Alan took no part in it。  Neither
  did George; except for what I thought a rather unnecessarily rough
  expression of his disbelief in the cause of my night's disturbance。
  As we rose from breakfast I saw Alan glance towards his brother;
  and make a movement; evidently with the purpose of speaking to him。
  Whether or not George was aware of the look or action; I cannot
  say; but at the same moment he made rapidly across the room to
  where one of his principal guests was standing; and at once engaged
  him in conversation。  So earnestly and so volubly was he borne on;
  that they were still talking together when we ladies appeared again
  some minutes later; prepared for our walk to church。  That was not
  the only occasion during the day on which I witnessed as I thought
  the same by…play going on。  Again and again Alan appeared to be
  making efforts to engage George in private conversation; and again
  and again the latter successfully eluded him。
  The church was about a mile away from the house; and as Lucy did
  not like having the carriages out on a Sunday; one service a week
  as a rule contented the household。  In the afternoon we took the
  usual Sunday walk。  On returning from it; I had just taken off my
  outdoor things; and was issuing from my bedroom; when I found
  myself face to face with Alan。  He was coming out of George's
  study; and had succeeded apparently in obtaining that interview for
  which he had been all day seeking。  One glance at his face told me
  what its nature had been。  We paused opposite each other for a
  moment; and he looked at me earnestly。
  〃Are you going to church?〃 he inquired at last; abruptly。
  〃No;〃 I answered; with some surprise。  〃I did not know that any one
  was going this evening。〃
  〃Will you come with me?〃
  〃Yes; certainly; if you don't mind waiting a moment for me to put
  my things on。〃
  〃There's plenty of time;〃 he answered; 〃meet me in the hall。〃
  A few minutes later we started。
  It was a calm; cloudless night; and although the moon was not yet
  half…full; and already past her meridian; she filled the clear air
  with gentle light。  Not a word broke our silence。  Alan walked
  hurriedly; looking straight before him; his head upright; his lips
  twitching nervously; while every now and then a half…uttered moan
  escaped unconsciously from between them。  At last I could bear it
  no longer; and burst forth with the first remark which occurred to
  me。  We were passing a big; black; queer…shaped stone standing in
  rather a lonely uncultivated spot at one end of the garden。  It was
  an old acquaintance of my childhood; but my thoughts had been
  turned towards it now from the fact that I could see it from my
  bedroom window; and had been struck afresh by its uncouth;
  incongruous appearance。
  〃Isn't there some story connected with that stone?〃 I asked。  〃I
  remember that we always called it the Dead Stone as children。〃
  Alan cast a quick; sidelong glance in that direction; and his brows
  contracted in an irritable frown。  〃I don't know;〃 he answered
  shortly; 〃they say that there is a woman buried beneath it; I
  believe。〃
  〃A woman buried there!〃 I exclaimed in surprise; 〃but who?〃
  〃How should I know?  They know nothing whatever about it。  The
  place is full of stupid traditions of that kind。〃  Then; looking
  suspiciously round at me; 〃Why do you ask?〃
  〃I don't know; it was just something to say;〃 I answered
  plaintively。  His strange mood so worked upon my nerves; that it
  was all that I could do to restrain my tears。  I think that my tone
  struck his conscience; for he made a few feverish attempts at
  conversation after that。  But they were so entirely abortive that
  he soon abandoned the effort; and we finished our walk to church as
  speechlessly as we had begun it。
  The service was bright; and the sermon perhaps a little
  commonplace; but sensible as it seemed to me in matter; and
  adequate in style。  The peaceful evening hymn which followed; the
  short solemn pause of silent prayer at the end; soothed and
  refreshed my spirit。  A hasty glance at my companion's face as he
  stood waiting for me in the porch; with the full light from the
  church streaming round him; assured me that the same influence had
  touched him too。  Haggard and sad he still looked; it is true; but
  his features were composed; and the expression of actual pain had
  left his eyes。
  Silent as we had come we started homeward through the waning
  moonlight; but this silence was of a very different nature to the
  other; and after a minute or two I did not hesitate to break it。
  〃It was a good sermon?〃 I observed; interrogatively。
  〃Yes;〃 he assented; 〃I suppose you would call it so; but I confess
  that I should have found the text more impressive without its
  exposition。〃
  〃Poor man!〃
  〃But don't you often find it so?〃 he asked。  〃Do you not often
  wish; to take this evening's instance; that clergymen would infuse
  themselves with something of St。 Paul's own spirit?  Then perhaps
  they would not water all the strength out of his words in their
  efforts to explain them。〃
  〃That is rather a large demand to make upon them; is it not?〃
  〃Is it?〃 he questioned。  〃I don't ask them to be inspired saints。
  I don't expect St。 Paul's breadth and depth of thought。  But could
  they not have something of his vigorous completeness; something of
  the intensity of his feeling and belief?  Look at the text of to…
  night。  Did not the preacher's examples and applications take
  something from its awful unqualified strength?〃
  〃Awful!〃 I exclaimed; in surprise; 〃that is hardly the expression I
  should have used in connection with those words。〃
  〃Why not?〃
  〃Oh; I don't know。  The text is very beautiful; of course; and at
  times; when people are tiresome and one ought to be nice to them;
  it is very difficult to act up to。  But〃
  〃But you think that 'awful' is rather a big adjective to use for so
  small a duty;〃 interposed Alan; and the moonlight showed the
  flicker of a smile upon his face。  Then he continued; gravely; 〃I
  doubt whether you yourself realize the full import of the words。
  The precept of charity is not merely a code of rules by which to
  order our conduct to our neighbors; it is the picture of a
  spiritual condition; and such; where it exists in us; must by its
  very nature be roused into activity by anything that affects us。
  So with this particular injunction; every circumstance in our lives
  is a challenge to it; and in presence of all alike it admits of one
  attitude only: 'Beareth all things; endureth all things。'  I hope
  it will be long before that 'all' sticks in your gizzard; Evie;
  before you come face to face with things which nature cannot bear;
  and yet which must be borne。〃
  He stopped; his voice quivering; and then after a pause went on
  again more calmly; 〃And throughout it is the same。  Moral precepts
  everywhere; which will admit of no compromise; no limitation; and
  yet which are at war with our strongest passions。  If one could
  only interpose some 'unless;' some 'except