第 72 节
作者:
吹嘻 更新:2021-11-05 20:37 字数:9322
of sight when he is here。 It is very tiresome。 I know that it is
the fashion to say that George has got the temper of the family;
but I assure you that Alan's nervous moods and fancies are much
more difficult to live with。〃
That was on the morninga Friday it wasof the last day which we
were to spend alone。 The guests were to arrive soon after tea; and
I think that with the knowledge of their approach Alan and I
prolonged our ride that afternoon beyond its usual limits。 We were
on our way home; and it was already dusk; when a turn of the path
brought us face to face with the old ruined tower; of which I have
already spoken as standing at the head of the valley。 I had not
been close up to it yet during this visit at Mervyn。 It had been a
very favorite haunt of ours as children; and partly on that
account; partly perhaps in order to defer the dreaded close of our
ride to the last possible moment; I proposed an inspection of it。
The only portion of the old building left standing in any kind of
entirety was two rooms; one above the other。 The tower room; level
with the bottom of the moat; was dark and damp; and it was the
upper one; reached by a little outside staircase; which had been
our rendezvous of old。 Alan showed no disposition to enter; and
said that he would stay outside and hold my horse; so I dismounted
and ran up alone。
The room seemed in no way changed。 A mere stone shell; littered
with fragments of wood and mortar。 There was the rough wooden
block on which Alan used to sit while he first frightened us with
bogey…stories; and then calmed our excited nerves by rapid sallies
of wild nonsense。 There was the plank from behind which; erected
as a barrier across the doorway; he would defend the castle against
our united assault; pelting us with fir…cones and sods of earth。
This and many a bygone scene thronged on me as I stood there; and
the room filled again with the memories of childish mirth。 And
following close came those of childish terrors。 Horrors which had
oppressed me then; wholly imagined or dimly apprehended from half…
heard traditions; and never thought of since; flitted around me in
the gathering dusk。 And with them it seemed to me as if there came
other memories too;memories which had never been my own; of
scenes whose actors had long been with the dead; but which;
immortal as the spirit before whose eyes they had dwelt; still
lingered in the spot where their victim had first learnt to shudder
at their presence。 Once the ghastly notion came to me; it seized
on my imagination with irresistible force。 It seemed as if from
the darkened corners of the room vague; ill…defined shapes were
actually peering out at me。 When night came they would show
themselves in that form; livid and terrible; in which they had been
burnt into the brain and heart of the long ago dead。
I turned and glanced towards where I had left Alan。 I could see
his figure framed in by the window; a black shadow against the gray
twilight of the sky behind。 Erect and perfectly motionless he sat;
so motionless as to look almost lifeless; gazing before him down
the valley into the illimitable distance beyond。 There was
something in that stern immobility of look and attitude which
struck me with a curious sense of congruity。 It was right that he
should be thusright that he should be no longer the laughing boy
who a moment before had been in my memory。 The haunting horrors of
that place seemed to demand it; and for the first time I felt that
I understood the change。 With an effort I shook myself free from
these fancies; and turned to go。 As I did so; my eye fell upon a
queer…shaped painted board; leaning up against the wall; which I
well recollected in old times。 Many a discussion had we had about
the legend inscribed upon it; which in our wisdom we had finally
pronounced to be German; chiefly because it was illegible。 Though
I had loudly professed my faith in this theory at the time; I had
always had uneasy doubts on the subject; and now half smiling I
bent down to verify or remove them。 The language was English; not
German; but the badly painted; faded Gothic letters in which it was
written made the mistake excusable。 In the dim light I had
difficulty even now in deciphering the words; and felt when I had
done so that neither the information conveyed nor the style of the
composition was sufficient reward for the trouble I had taken。
This is what I read:
〃Where the woman sinned the maid shall win;
But God help the maid that sleeps within。〃
What the lines could refer to I neither had any notion nor did I
pause then even in my own mind to inquire。 I only remember vaguely
wondering whether they were intended for a tombstone or for a
doorway。 Then; continuing my way; I rapidly descended the steps
and remounted my horse; glad to find myself once again in the open
air and by my cousin's side。
The train of thought into which he had sunk during my absence was
apparently an absorbing one; for to my first question as to the
painted board he could hardly rouse himself to answer。
〃A board with a legend written on it? Yes; he remembered something
of the kind there。 It had always been there; he thought。 He knew
nothing about it;〃and so the subject was not continued。
The weird feelings which had haunted me in the tower still
oppressed me; and I proceeded to ask Alan about that old Dame Alice
whom the traditions of my childhood represented as the last
occupant of the ruined building。 Alan roused himself now; but did
not seem anxious to impart information on the subject。 She had
lived there; he admitted; and no one had lived there since。 〃Had
she not;〃 I inquired; 〃something to do with the mysterious cabinet
at the house? I remember hearing it spoken of as 'Dame Alice's
cabinet。'
〃So they say;〃 he assented; 〃she and an Italian artificer who was
in her service; and who; chiefly I imagine on account of his skill;
shared with her the honor of reputed witchcraft。〃
〃She was the mother of Hugh Mervyn; the man who was murdered by his
wife; was she not?〃 I asked。
〃Yes;〃 said Alan; briefly。
〃And had she not something to do with the curse?〃 I inquired after
a short pause; and nervously I remembered my father's experience on
that subject; and I had never before dared to allude to it in the
presence of any member of the family。 My nervousness was fully
warranted。 The gloom on Alan's brow deepened; and after a very
short 〃They say so〃 he turned full upon me; and inquired with some
asperity why on earth I had developed this sudden curiosity about
his ancestress。
I hesitated a moment; for I was a little ashamed of my fancies; but
the darkness gave me courage; and besides I was not afraid of
telling Alanhe would understand。 I told him of the strange
sensations I had had while in the towersensations which had
struck me with all that force and clearness which we usually
associate with a direct experience of fact。 〃Of course it was a
trick of imagination;〃 I commented; 〃but I could not get rid of the
feeling that the person who had dwelt there last must have had
terrible thoughts for the companions of her life。〃
Alan listened in silence; and the silence continued for some time
after I had ceased speaking。
〃It is strange;〃 he said at last; 〃instincts which we do not
understand form the motive…power of most of our life's actions; and
yet we refuse to admit them as evidence of any external truth。 I
suppose it is because we MUST act somehow; rightly or wrongly; and
there are a great many things which we need not believe unless we
choose。 As for this old lady; she lived longlong enough; like
most of us; to do evil; unlike most of us; long enough to witness
some of the results of that evil。 To say that; is to say that the
last years of her life must have been weighted heavily enough with
tragic thought。〃
I gave a little shudder of repulsion。
〃That is a depressing view of life; Alan;〃 I said。 〃Does our peace
of mind depend only upon death coming early enough to hide from us
the truth? And; after all; can it? Our spirits do not die。 From
another world they may witness the fruits of our lives in this
one。〃
〃If they do;〃 he answered with sudden violence; 〃it is absurd to
doubt the existence of a purgatory。 There must in such a case be a
terrible one in store for the best among us。〃
I was silent。 The shadow that lay on his soul did not penetrate to
mine; but it hung round me nevertheless; a cloud which I felt
powerless to disperse。
After a moment he went on;〃Provided that they are distant enough;
how little; after all; do we think of the results of our actions!
There are few men who would deliberately instill into a child a
love of drink; or wilfully deprive him of his reason; and yet a man
with drunkenness or madness in his blood thinks n