第 58 节
作者:
风雅颂 更新:2021-10-16 18:44 字数:9321
I must admit that Hutchins did his best。
〃You WILL lie about me;〃 the Warden raved; the flush of wine and
wrath flooding ruddier into his face。 〃Now see what you get for it。
Your number is taken at last; Standing。 This is your finish。 Do
you hear? This is your finish。〃
〃A favour; Warden;〃 I whispered faintly。 Faint I was。 Perforce I
was nearly unconscious from the fearful constriction。 〃Make it a
triple jacketing;〃 I managed to continue; while the cell walls
swayed and reeled about me and while I fought with all my will to
hold to my consciousness that was being squeezed out of me by the
jackets。 〃Another jacket 。 。 。 Warden 。 。 。 It 。 。 。 will 。 。 。 be
。 。 。 so 。 。 。 much 。 。 。 er 。 。 。 warmer。〃
And my whisper faded away as I ebbed down into the little death。
I was never the same man after that double…jacketing。 Never again;
to this day; no matter what my food; was I properly nurtured。 I
suffered internal injuries to an extent I never cared to
investigate。 The old pain in my ribs and stomach is with me now as
I write these lines。 But the poor; maltreated machinery has served
its purpose。 It has enabled me to live thus far; and it will enable
me to live the little longer to the day they take me out in the
shirt without a collar and stretch my neck with the well…stretched
rope。
But the double…jacketing was the last straw。 It broke down Warden
Atherton。 He surrendered to the demonstration that I was
unkillable。 As I told him once:
〃The only way you can get me; Warden; is to sneak in here some night
with a hatchet。〃
Jake Oppenheimer was responsible for a good one on the Warden which
I must relate:
〃I say; Warden; it must be straight hell for you to have to wake up
every morning with yourself on your pillow。〃
And Ed Morrell to the Warden:
〃Your mother must have been damn fond of children to have raised
you。〃
It was really an offence to me when the jacketing ceased。 I sadly
missed that dream world of mine。 But not for long。 I found that I
could suspend animation by the exercise of my will; aided
mechanically by constricting my chest and abdomen with the blanket。
Thus I induced physiological and psychological states similar to
those caused by the jacket。 So; at will; and without the old
torment; I was free to roam through time。
Ed Morrell believed all my adventures; but Jake Oppenheimer remained
sceptical to the last。 It was during my third year in solitary that
I paid Oppenheimer a visit。 I was never able to do it but that
once; and that one time was wholly unplanned and unexpected。
It was merely after unconsciousness had come to me that I found
myself in his cell。 My body; I knew; lay in the jacket back in my
own cell。 Although never before had I seen him; I knew that this
man was Jake Oppenheimer。 It was summer weather; and he lay without
clothes on top his blanket。 I was shocked by his cadaverous face
and skeleton…like body。 He was not even the shell of a man。 He was
merely the structure of a man; the bones of a man; still cohering;
stripped practically of all flesh and covered with a parchment…like
skin。
Not until back in my own cell and consciousness was I able to mull
the thing over and realize that just as was Jake Oppenheimer; so was
Ed Morrell; so was I。 And I could not but thrill as I glimpsed the
vastitude of spirit that inhabited these frail; perishing carcasses
of usthe three incorrigibles of solitary。 Flesh is a cheap; vain
thing。 Grass is flesh; and flesh becomes grass; but the spirit is
the thing that abides and survives。 I have no patience with these
flesh…worshippers。 A taste of solitary in San Quentin would swiftly
convert them to a due appreciation and worship of the spirit。
But to return to my experience m Oppenheimer's cell。 His body was
that of a man long dead and shrivelled by desert heat。 The skin
that covered it was of the colour of dry mud。 His sharp; yellow…
gray eyes seemed the only part of him that was alive。 They were
never at rest。 He lay on his back; and the eyes darted hither and
thither; following the flight of the several flies that disported in
the gloomy air above him。 I noted; too; a scar; just above his
right elbow; and another scar on his right ankle。
After a time he yawned; rolled over on his side; and inspected an
angry…looking sore just above his hip。 This he proceeded to cleanse
and dress by the crude methods men in solitary must employ。 I
recognized the sore as one of the sort caused by the strait…jacket。
On my body; at this moment of writing; are hundreds of scars of the
jacket。
Next; Oppenheimer rolled on his back; gingerly took one of his front
upper toothan eye teethbetween thumb and forefinger; and
consideratively moved it back and forth。 Again he yawned; stretched
his arms; rolled over; and knocked the call to Ed Morrell。
I read the code as a matter of course。
〃Thought you might be awake;〃 Oppenheimer tapped。 〃How goes it with
the Professor?〃
Then; dim and far; I could hear Morrell's taps enunciating that they
had put me in the jacket an hour before; and that; as usual; I was
already deaf to all knuckle talk。
〃He is a good guy;〃 Oppenheimer rapped on。 〃I always was suspicious
of educated mugs; but he ain't been hurt none by his education。 He
is sure square。 Got all the spunk in the world; and you could not
get him to squeal or double cross in a million years。〃
To all of which; and with amplification; Ed Morrell agreed。 And I
must; right here; ere I go a word further; say that I have lived
many years and many lives; and that in those many lives I have known
proud moments; but that the proudest moment I have ever known was
the moment when my two comrades in solitary passed this appraisal of
me。 Ed Morrell and Jake Oppenheimer were great spirits; and in all
time no greater honour was ever accorded me than this admission of
me to their comradeship。 Kings have knighted me; emperors have
ennobled me; and; as king myself; I have known stately moments。 Yet
of it all nothing do I adjudge so splendid as this accolade
delivered by two lifers in solitary deemed by the world as the very
bottom…most of the human cesspool。
Afterwards; recuperating from this particular bout with the jacket;
I brought up my visit to Jake's cell as a proof that my spirit did
leave my body。 But Jake was unshakable。
〃It is guessing that is more than guessing;〃 was his reply; when I
had described to him his successive particular actions at the time
my spirit had been in his cell。 〃It is figuring。 You have been
close to three years in solitary yourself; Professor; and you can
come pretty near to figuring what any guy will do to be killing
time。 There ain't a thing you told me that you and Ed ain't done
thousands of times; from lying with your clothes off in hot weather
to watching flies; tending sores; and rapping。〃
Morrell sided with me; but it was no use。
〃Now don't take it hard; Professor;〃 Jake tapped。 〃I ain't saying
you lied。 I just say you get to dreaming and figuring in the jacket
without knowing you're doing it。 I know you believe what you say;
and that you think it happened; but it don't buy nothing with me。
You figure it; but you don't know you figure itthat is something
you know all the time; though you don't know you know it until you
get into them dreamy; woozy states。〃
〃Hold on; Jake;〃 I tapped。 〃You know I have never seen you with my
own eyes。 Is that right?〃
〃I got to take your word for it; Professor。 You might have seen me
and not known it was me。〃
〃The point is;〃 I continued; 〃not having seen you with your clothes
off; nevertheless I am able to tell you about that scar above your
right elbow; and that scar on your right ankle。〃
〃Oh; shucks;〃 was his reply。 〃You'll find all that in my prison
description and along with my mug in the rogues' gallery。 They is
thousands of chiefs of police and detectives know all that stuff。〃
〃I never heard of it;〃 I assured him。
〃You don't remember that you ever heard of it;〃 he corrected。 〃But
you must have just the same。 Though you have forgotten about it;
the information is in your brain all right; stored away for
reference; only you've forgot where it is stored。 You've got to get
woozy in order to remember。〃
〃Did you ever forget a man's name you used to know as well as your
own brother's? I have。 There was a little juror that convicted me
in Oakland the time I got handed my fifty…years。 And one day I
found I'd forgotten his name。 Why; bo; I lay here for weeks
puzzling for it。 Now; just because I could not dig it out of my
memory box was no sign it was not there。 It was mislaid; that was
all。 And to prove it; one day; when I was not even thinking about
it; it popped right out of my brain to the tip of my tongue。
'Stacy;' I said right out loud。