第 13 节
作者:风雅颂      更新:2021-10-16 18:44      字数:9321
  their coherence and continuity。  Often I addressed bodies of
  scientists on abstruse subjects; reading aloud to them carefully
  prepared papers on my own researches or on my own deductions from
  the researches and experiments of others。  When I awakened my voice
  would seem still ringing in my ears; while my eyes still could see
  typed on the white paper whole sentences and paragraphs that I could
  read again and marvel at ere the vision faded。  In passing; I call
  attention to the fact that at the time I noted that the process of
  reasoning employed in these dream speeches was invariably deductive。
  Then there was a great farming section; extending north and south
  for hundreds of miles in some part of the temperate regions; with a
  climate and flora and fauna largely resembling those of California。
  Not once; nor twice; but thousands of different times I journeyed
  through this dream…region。  The point I desire to call attention to
  was that it was always the same region。  No essential feature of it
  ever differed in the different dreams。  Thus it was always an eight…
  hour drive behind mountain horses from the alfalfa meadows (where I
  kept many Jersey cows) to the straggly village beside the big dry
  creek; where I caught the little narrow…gauge train。  Every land…
  mark in that eight…hour drive in the mountain buckboard; every tree;
  every mountain; every ford and bridge; every ridge and eroded
  hillside was ever the same。
  In this coherent; rational farm…region of my strait…jacket dreams
  the minor details; according to season and to the labour of men; did
  change。  Thus on the upland pastures behind my alfalfa meadows I
  developed a new farm with the aid of Angora goats。  Here I marked
  the changes with every dream…visit; and the changes were in
  accordance with the time that elapsed between visits。
  Oh; those brush…covered slopes!  How I can see them now just as when
  the goats were first introduced。  And how I remembered the
  consequent changesthe paths beginning to form as the goats
  literally ate their way through the dense thickets; the
  disappearance of the younger; smaller bushes that were not too tall
  for total browsing; the vistas that formed in all directions through
  the older; taller bushes; as the goats browsed as high as they could
  stand and reach on their hind legs; the driftage of the pasture
  grasses that followed in the wake of the clearing by the goats。
  Yes; the continuity of such dreaming was its charm。  Came the day
  when the men with axes chopped down all the taller brush so as to
  give the goats access to the leaves and buds and bark。  Came the
  day; in winter weather; when the dry denuded skeletons of all these
  bushes were gathered into heaps and burned。  Came the day when I
  moved my goats on to other brush…impregnable hillsides; with
  following in their wake my cattle; pasturing knee…deep in the
  succulent grasses that grew where before had been only brush。  And
  came the day when I moved my cattle on; and my plough…men went back
  and forth across the slopes' contourploughing the rich sod under
  to rot to live and crawling humous in which to bed my seeds of crops
  to be。
  Yes; and in my dreams; often; I got off the little narrow…gauge
  train where the straggly village stood beside the big dry creek; and
  got into the buck…board behind my mountain horses; and drove hour by
  hour past all the old familiar landmarks of my alfalfa meadows; and
  on to my upland pastures where my rotated crops of corn and barley
  and clover were ripe for harvesting and where I watched my men
  engaged in the harvest; while beyond; ever climbing; my goats
  browsed the higher slopes of brush into cleared; tilled fields。
  But these were dreams; frank dreams; fancied adventures of my
  deductive subconscious mind。  Quite unlike them; as you shall see;
  were my other adventures when I passed through the gates of the
  living death and relived the reality of the other lives that had
  been mine in other days。
  In the long hours of waking in the jacket I found that I dwelt a
  great deal on Cecil Winwood; the poet…forger who had wantonly put
  all this torment on me; and who was even then at liberty out in the
  free world again。  No; I did not hate him。  The word is too weak。
  There is no word in the language strong enough to describe my
  feelings。  I can say only that I knew the gnawing of a desire for
  vengeance on him that was a pain in itself and that exceeded all the
  bounds of language。  I shall not tell you of the hours I devoted to
  plans of torture on him; nor of the diabolical means and devices of
  torture that I invented for him。  Just one example。  I was enamoured
  of the ancient trick whereby an iron basin; containing a rat; is
  fastened to a man's body。  The only way out for the rat is through
  the man himself。  As I say; I was enamoured of this until I realized
  that such a death was too quick; whereupon I dwelt long and
  favourably on the Moorish trick ofbut no; I promised to relate no
  further of this matter。  Let it suffice that many of my pain…
  maddening waking hours were devoted to dreams of vengeance on Cecil
  Winwood。
  CHAPTER IX
  One thing of great value I learned in the long; pain…weary hours of
  wakingnamely; the mastery of the body by the mind。  I learned to
  suffer passively; as; undoubtedly; all men have learned who have
  passed through the post…graduate courses of strait…jacketing。  Oh;
  it is no easy trick to keep the brain in such serene repose that it
  is quite oblivious to the throbbing; exquisite complaint of some
  tortured nerve。
  And it was this very mastery of the flesh by the spirit which I so
  acquired that enabled me easily to practise the secret Ed Morrell
  told to me。
  〃Think it is curtains?〃 Ed Morrell rapped to me one night。
  I had just been released from one hundred hours; and I was weaker
  than I had ever been before。  So weak was I that though my whole
  body was one mass of bruise and misery; nevertheless I scarcely was
  aware that I had a body。
  〃It looks like curtains;〃 I rapped back。  〃They will get me if they
  keep it up much longer。〃
  〃Don't let them;〃 he advised。  〃There is a way。  I learned it
  myself; down in the dungeons; when Massie and I got ours good and
  plenty。  I pulled through。  But Massie croaked。  If I hadn't learned
  the trick; I'd have croaked along with him。  You've got to be pretty
  weak first; before you try it。  If you try it when you are strong;
  you make a failure of it; and then that queers you for ever after。
  I made the mistake of telling Jake the trick when he was strong。  Of
  course; he could not pull it off; and in the times since when he did
  need it; it was too late; for his first failure had queered it。  He
  won't even believe it now。  He thinks I am kidding him。  Ain't that
  right; Jake?〃
  And from cell thirteen Jake rapped back; 〃Don't swallow it; Darrell。
  It's a sure fairy story。〃
  〃Go on and tell me;〃 I rapped to Morrell。
  〃That is why I waited for you to get real weak;〃 he continued。  〃Now
  you need it; and I am going to tell you。  It's up to you。  If you
  have got the will you can do it。  I've done it three times; and I
  know。〃
  〃Well; what is it?〃 I rapped eagerly。
  〃The trick is to die in the jacket; to will yourself to die。  I know
  you don't get me yet; but wait。  You know how you get numb in the
  jackethow your arm or your leg goes to sleep。  Now you can't help
  that; but you can take it for the idea and improve on it。  Don't
  wait for your legs or anything to go to sleep。  You lie on your back
  as comfortable as you can get; and you begin to use your will。
  〃And this is the idea you must think to yourself; and that you must
  believe all the time you're thinking it。  If you don't believe; then
  there's nothing to it。  The thing you must think and believe is that
  your body is one thing and your spirit is another thing。  You are
  you; and your body is something else that don't amount to shucks。
  Your body don't count。  You're the boss。  You don't need any body。
  And thinking and believing all this you proceed to prove it by using
  your will。  You make your body die。
  〃You begin with the toes; one at a time。  You make your toes die。
  You will them to die。  And if you've got the belief and the will
  your toes will die。  That is the big jobto start the dying。  Once
  you've got the first toe dead; the rest is easy; for you don't have
  to do any more believing。  You know。  Then you put all your will
  into making the rest of the body die。  I tell you; Darrell; I know。
  I've done it three times。
  〃Once you get the dying started; it goes right along。  And the funny
  thing is that you are all there all the time。  Because your toes are
  dead don't make you in the least bit dead。  By…and…by your legs are
  dead to the knees; and then to the thighs; and you are just the same
  as you always were。  It is your body that is dropping out of the
  game a chunk at a time。  And you are