第 10 节
作者:风雅颂      更新:2021-10-16 18:44      字数:9322
  how did I remember them?
  Oh; what a fluttering of luminous images and actions!  In a few
  short minutes of loosed subconsciousness I have sat in the halls of
  kings; above the salt and below the salt; been fool and jester; man…
  at…arms; clerk and monk; and I have been ruler above all at the head
  of the tabletemporal power in my own sword arm; in the thickness
  of my castle walls; and the numbers of my fighting men; spiritual
  power likewise mine by token of the fact that cowled priests and fat
  abbots sat beneath me and swigged my wine and swined my meat。
  I have worn the iron collar of the serf about my neck in cold
  climes; and I have loved princesses of royal houses in the tropic…
  warmed and sun…scented night; where black slaves fanned the sultry
  air with fans of peacock plumes; while from afar; across the palm
  and fountains; drifted the roaring of lions and the cries of
  jackals。  I have crouched in chill desert places warming my hands at
  fires builded of camel's dung; and I have lain in the meagre shade
  of sun…parched sagebrush by dry water…holes and yearned dry…tongued
  for water; while about me; dismembered and scattered in the alkali;
  were the bones of men and beasts who had yearned and died。
  I have been sea…cuny and bravo; scholar and recluse。  I have pored
  over hand…written pages of huge and musty tomes in the scholastic
  quietude and twilight of cliff…perched monasteries; while beneath on
  the lesser slopes; peasants still toiled beyond the end of day among
  the vines and olives and drove in from pastures the blatting goats
  and lowing kine; yes; and I have led shouting rabbles down the
  wheel…worn; chariot…rutted paves of ancient and forgotten cities;
  and; solemn…voiced and grave as death; I have enunciated the law;
  stated the gravity of the infraction; and imposed the due death on
  men; who; like Darrell Standing in Folsom Prison; had broken the
  law。
  Aloft; at giddy mastheads oscillating above the decks of ships; I
  have gazed on sun…flashed water where coral…growths iridesced from
  profounds of turquoise deeps; and conned the ships into the safety
  of mirrored lagoons where the anchors rumbled down close to palm…
  fronded beaches of sea…pounded coral rock; and I have striven on
  forgotten battlefields of the elder days; when the sun went down on
  slaughter that did not cease and that continued through the night…
  hours with the stars shining down and with a cool night wind blowing
  from distant peaks of snow that failed to chill the sweat of battle;
  and again; I have been little Darrell Standing; bare…footed in the
  dew…lush grass of spring on the Minnesota farm; chilblained when of
  frosty mornings I fed the cattle in their breath…steaming stalls;
  sobered to fear and awe of the splendour and terror of God when I
  sat on Sundays under the rant and preachment of the New Jerusalem
  and the agonies of hell…fire。
  Now; the foregoing were the glimpses and glimmerings that came to
  me; when; in Cell One of Solitary in San Quentin; I stared myself
  unconscious by means of a particle of bright; light…radiating straw。
  How did these things come to me?  Surely I could not have
  manufactured them out of nothing inside my pent walls any more than
  could I have manufactured out of nothing the thirty…five pounds of
  dynamite so ruthlessly demanded of me by Captain Jamie; Warden
  Atherton; and the Prison Board of Directors。
  I am Darrell Standing; born and raised on a quarter section of land
  in Minnesota; erstwhile professor of agronomy; a prisoner
  incorrigible in San Quentin; and at present a death…sentenced man in
  Folsom。  I do not know; of Darrell Standing's experience; these
  things of which I write and which I have dug from out my store…
  houses of subconsciousness。  I; Darrell Standing; born in Minnesota
  and soon to die by the rope in California; surely never loved
  daughters of kings in the courts of kings; nor fought cutlass to
  cutlass on the swaying decks of ships; nor drowned in the spirit…
  rooms of ships; guzzling raw liquor to the wassail…shouting and
  death…singing of seamen; while the ship lifted and crashed on the
  black…toothed rocks and the water bubbled overhead; beneath; and all
  about。
  Such things are not of Darrell Standing's experience in the world。
  Yet I; Darrell Standing; found these things within myself in
  solitary in San Quentin by means of mechanical self…hypnosis。  No
  more were these experiences Darrell Standing's than was the word
  〃Samaria〃 Darrell Standing's when it leapt to his child lips at
  sight of a photograph。
  One cannot make anything out of nothing。  In solitary I could not so
  make thirty…five pounds of dynamite。  Nor in solitary; out of
  nothing in Darrell Standing's experience; could I make these wide;
  far visions of time and space。  These things were in the content of
  my mind; and in my mind I was just beginning to learn my way about。
  CHAPTER VII
  So here was my predicament:  I knew that within myself was a
  Golconda of memories of other lives; yet I was unable to do more
  than flit like a madman through those memories。  I had my Golconda
  but could not mine it。
  I remembered the case of Stainton Moses; the clergyman who had been
  possessed by the personalities of St。 Hippolytus; Plotinus;
  Athenodorus; and of that friend of Erasmus named Grocyn。  And when I
  considered the experiments of Colonel de Rochas; which I had read in
  tyro fashion in other and busier days; I was convinced that Stainton
  Moses had; in previous lives; been those personalities that on
  occasion seemed to possess him。  In truth; they were he; they were
  the links of the chain of recurrence。
  But more especially did I dwell upon the experiments of Colonel de
  Rochas。  By means of suitable hypnotic subjects he claimed that he
  had penetrated backwards through time to the ancestors of his
  subjects。  Thus; the case of Josephine which he describes。  She was
  eighteen years old and she lived at Voiron; in the department of the
  Isere。  Under hypnotism Colonel de Rochas sent her adventuring back
  through her adolescence; her girlhood; her childhood; breast…
  infancy; and the silent dark of her mother's womb; and; still back;
  through the silence and the dark of the time when she; Josephine;
  was not yet born; to the light and life of a previous living; when
  she had been a churlish; suspicious; and embittered old man; by name
  Jean…Claude Bourdon; who had served his time in the Seventh
  Artillery at Besancon; and who died at the age of seventy; long
  bedridden。  YES; and did not Colonel de Rochas in turn hypnotize
  this shade of Jean…Claude Bourdon; so that he adventured farther
  back into time; through infancy and birth and the dark of the
  unborn; until he found again light and life when; as a wicked old
  woman; he had been Philomene Carteron?
  But try as I would with my bright bit of straw in the oozement of
  light into solitary; I failed to achieve any such definiteness of
  previous personality。  I became convinced; through the failure of my
  experiments; that only through death could I clearly and coherently
  resurrect the memories of my previous selves。
  But the tides of life ran strong in me。  I; Darrell Standing; was so
  strongly disinclined to die that I refused to let Warden Atherton
  and Captain Jamie kill me。  I was always so innately urged to live
  that sometimes I think that is why I am still here; eating and
  sleeping; thinking and dreaming; writing this narrative of my
  various me's; and awaiting the incontestable rope that will put an
  ephemeral period in my long…linked existence。
  And then came death in life。  I learned the trick; Ed Morrell taught
  it me; as you shall see。  It began through Warden Atherton and
  Captain Jamie。  They must have experienced a recrudescence of panic
  at thought of the dynamite they believed hidden。  They came to me in
  my dark cell; and they told me plainly that they would jacket me to
  death if I did not confess where the dynamite was hidden。  And they
  assured me that they would do it officially without any hurt to
  their own official skins。  My death would appear on the prison
  register as due to natural causes。
  Oh; dear; cotton…wool citizen; please believe me when I tell you
  that men are killed in prisons to…day as they have always been
  killed since the first prisons were built by men。
  I well knew the terror; the agony; and the danger of the jacket。
  Oh; the men spirit…broken by the jacket!  I have seen them。  And I
  have seen men crippled for life by the jacket。  I have seen men;
  strong men; men so strong that their physical stamina resisted all
  attacks of prison tuberculosis; after a prolonged bout with the
  jacket; their resistance broken down; fade away; and die of
  tuberculosis within six months。  There was Slant…Eyed Wilson; with
  an unguessed weak heart of fear; who died in the jacket within the
  first hour while the unconvinced inefficient of a prison doctor
  looked on and sm