第 7 节
作者:风雅颂      更新:2021-10-16 18:44      字数:9322
  But beyond that I could not go; and; perforce; was compelled to lie
  awake and think and think。  And that way; for an active…brained man;
  lay madness。
  I sought devices to enable me mechanically to abide my waking hours。
  I squared and cubed long series of numbers; and by concentration and
  will carried on most astonishing geometric progressions。  I even
  dallied with the squaring of the circle 。 。 。 until I found myself
  beginning to believe that that possibility could be accomplished。
  Whereupon; realizing that there; too; lay madness; I forwent the
  squaring of the circle; although I assure you it required a
  considerable sacrifice on my part; for the mental exercise involved
  was a splendid time…killer。
  By sheer visualization under my eyelids I constructed chess…boards
  and played both sides of long games through to checkmate。  But when
  I had become expert at this visualized game of memory the exercise
  palled on me。  Exercise it was; for there could be no real contest
  when the same player played both sides。  I tried; and tried vainly;
  to split my personality into two personalities and to pit one
  against the other。  But ever I remained the one player; with no
  planned ruse or strategy on one side that the other side did not
  immediately apprehend。
  And time was very heavy and very long。  I played games with flies;
  with ordinary houseflies that oozed into solitary as did the dim
  gray light; and learned that they possessed a sense of play。  For
  instance; lying on the cell floor; I established an arbitrary and
  imaginary line along the wall some three feet above the floor。  When
  they rested on the wall above this line they were left in peace。
  The instant they lighted on the wall below the line I tried to catch
  them。  I was careful never to hurt them; and; in time; they knew as
  precisely as did I where ran the imaginary line。  When they desired
  to play; they lighted below the line; and often for an hour at a
  time a single fly would engage in the sport。  When it grew tired; it
  would come to rest on the safe territory above。
  Of the dozen or more flies that lived with me; there was only one
  who did not care for the game。  He refused steadfastly to play; and;
  having learned the penalty of alighting below the line; very
  carefully avoided the unsafe territory。  That fly was a sullen;
  disgruntled creature。  As the convicts would say; it had a 〃grouch〃
  against the world。  He never played with the other flies either。  He
  was strong and healthy; too; for I studied him long to find out。
  His indisposition for play was temperamental; not physical。
  Believe me; I knew all my flies。  It was surprising to me the
  multitude of differences I distinguished between them。  Oh; each was
  distinctly an individualnot merely in size and markings; strength;
  and speed of flight; and in the manner and fancy of flight and play;
  of dodge and dart; of wheel and swiftly repeat or wheel and reverse;
  of touch and go on the danger wall; or of feint the touch and alight
  elsewhere within the zone。  They were likewise sharply
  differentiated in the minutest shades of mentality and temperament。
  I knew the nervous ones; the phlegmatic ones。  There was a little
  undersized one that would fly into real rages; sometimes with me;
  sometimes with its fellows。  Have you ever seen a colt or a calf
  throw up its heels and dash madly about the pasture from sheer
  excess of vitality and spirits?  Well; there was one flythe
  keenest player of them all; by the waywho; when it had alighted
  three or four times in rapid succession on my taboo wall and
  succeeded each time in eluding the velvet…careful swoop of my hand;
  would grow so excited and jubilant that it would dart around and
  around my head at top speed; wheeling; veering; reversing; and
  always keeping within the limits of the narrow circle in which it
  celebrated its triumph over me。
  Why; I could tell well in advance when any particular fly was making
  up its mind to begin to play。  There are a thousand details in this
  one matter alone that I shall not bore you with; although these
  details did serve to keep me from being bored too utterly during
  that first period in solitary。  But one thing I must tell you。  To
  me it is most memorablethe time when the one with a grouch; who
  never played; alighted in a moment of absent…mindedness within the
  taboo precinct and was immediately captured in my hand。  Do you
  know; he sulked for an hour afterward。
  And the hours were very long in solitary; nor could I sleep them all
  away; nor could I while them away with house…flies; no matter how
  intelligent。  For house…flies are house…flies; and I was a man; with
  a man's brain; and my brain was trained and active; stuffed with
  culture and science; and always geared to a high tension of
  eagerness to do。  And there was nothing to do; and my thoughts ran
  abominably on in vain speculations。  There was my pentose and
  methyl…pentose determination in grapes and wines to which I had
  devoted my last summer vacation at the Asti Vineyards。  I had all
  but completed the series of experiments。  Was anybody else going on
  with it; I wondered; and if so; with what success?
  You see; the world was dead to me。  No news of it filtered in。  The
  history of science was making fast; and I was interested in a
  thousand subjects。  Why; there was my theory of the hydrolysis of
  casein by trypsin; which Professor Walters had been carrying out in
  his laboratory。  Also; Professor Schleimer had similarly been
  collaborating with me in the detection of phytosterol in mixtures of
  animal and vegetable fats。  The work surely was going on; but with
  what results?  The very thought of all this activity just beyond the
  prison walls and in which I could take no part; of which I was never
  even to hear; was maddening。  And in the meantime I lay there on my
  cell floor and played games with house…flies。
  And yet all was not silence in solitary。  Early in my confinement I
  used to hear; at irregular intervals; faint; low tappings。  From
  farther away I also heard fainter and lower tappings。  Continually
  these tappings were interrupted by the snarling of the guard。  On
  occasion; when the tapping went on too persistently; extra guards
  were summoned; and I knew by the sounds that men were being strait…
  jacketed。
  The matter was easy of explanation。  I had known; as every prisoner
  in San Quentin knew; that the two men in solitary were Ed Morrell
  and Jake Oppenheimer。  And I knew that these were the two men who
  tapped knuckle…talk to each other and were punished for so doing。
  That the code they used was simple I had not the slightest doubt;
  yet I devoted many hours to a vain effort to work it out。  Heaven
  knowsit had to be simple; yet I could not make head nor tail of
  it。  And simple it proved to be; when I learned it; and simplest of
  all proved the trick they employed which had so baffled me。  Not
  only each day did they change the point in the alphabet where the
  code initialled; but they changed it every conversation; and; often;
  in the midst of a conversation。
  Thus; there came a day when I caught the code at the right initial;
  listened to two clear sentences of conversation; and; the next time
  they talked; failed to understand a word。  But that first time!
  〃SayEdwhatwould yougiverightnowforbrownpapers
  andasackofBullDurham!〃 asked the one who tapped from
  farther away。
  I nearly cried out in my joy。  Here was communication!  Here was
  companionship!  I listened eagerly; and the nearer tapping; which I
  guessed must be Ed Morrell's; replied:
  〃Iwoulddotwentyhoursstraitinthejacketforafive…
  …centsack〃
  Then came the snarling interruption of the guard:  〃Cut that out;
  Morrell!〃
  It may be thought by the layman that the worst has been done to men
  sentenced to solitary for life; and therefore that a mere guard has
  no way of compelling obedience to his order to cease tapping。
  But the jacket remains。  Starvation remains。  Thirst remains。  Man…
  handling remains。  Truly; a man pent in a narrow cell is very
  helpless。
  So the tapping ceased; and that night; when it was next resumed; I
  was all at sea again。  By pre…arrangement they had changed the
  initial letter of the code。  But I had caught the clue; and; in the
  matter of several days; occurred again the same initialment I had
  understood。  I did not wait on courtesy。
  〃Hello;〃 I tapped
  〃Hello; stranger;〃 Morrell tapped back; and; from Oppenheimer;
  〃Welcome to our city。〃
  They were curious to know who I was; how long I was condemned to
  solitary; and why I had been so condemned。  But all this I put to
  the side in order first to learn their system of changing the code
  initial。  After I had this clear; we talked。  It was a great day;
  for the two lifers had become three; although they accepted me only
  on probation。  As they told me long after; they feared I might be a
  stool placed there to work a fra