第 2 节
作者:散发弄舟      更新:2021-10-16 18:43      字数:9322
  turrets;    four   lifts;  and   was   fitted   up   by   one   of   the  best   West    End
  establishments。        The     sanitary    arrangements       were    excellent;    and    the
  drainage of the most perfect order; as I had reason to know personally later。
  I was so affected by the peaceful solitude that I lay down under a tree and
  presently     fell  asleep。    I  was    awakened      by   the  sound    of   voices;   and;
  looking     up;   beheld    two   men    bending     over   me。    One     was   a  grizzled
  veteran;   and   the   other   a   younger   dandyfied   man;   both   were   dressed   in
  shooting suits。
  〃Never saw such a resemblance before in all my life;〃 said the elder
  man。     〃'Pon my soul! if the King hadn't got shaved yesterday because the
  Princess Flirtia said his beard tickled her; I'd swear it was he!〃
  I could not help thinking how lucky it wasfor this narrative that the
  King   HAD   shaved;   otherwise   my   story   would   have   degenerated   into   a
  mere Comedy of Errors。           Opening my eyes; I said boldly:
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  〃Now that you are satisfied who I resemble; gentlemen; perhaps you
  will tell me who you are?〃
  〃Certainly;〃 said the elder curtly。        〃I am Spitza simple colonel of his
  Majesty's;  yet;  nevertheless;  the  one  man   who   runs   this   whole   dynasty
  and this young gentleman is Fritz; my lieutenant。 And you are?〃
  〃My name is Razorbillbrother to Lord Burleydon;〃 I replied calmly。
  〃Good   heavens!   another   of   the   lot!〃   he   muttered。    Then;   correcting
  himself; he said brusquely: 〃Any relation to that Englishwoman who was
  so sweet on the old Rupert centuries ago?〃
  Here;   again;   I   suppose   my   sister…in…law   would   have   had   me   knock
  down   the   foreign   insulter   of   my  English   ancestressbut  I   colored   to the
  roots of my hair; and even fartherwith pleasure at this proof of my royal
  descent!     And then a cheery voice was heard calling 〃Spitz!〃 and 〃Fritz!〃
  through the woods。
  〃The King!〃 said Spitz to Fritz quickly。           〃He must not see him。〃
  〃Too   late;〃   said   Fritz;   as   a   young   man   bounded   lightly   out   of   the
  bushes。
  I was thunderstruck!        It was as if I had suddenly been confronted with
  a   mirrorand     beheld    myself!    Of    course    he   was   not  quite   so   good…
  looking; or so tall; but he was still a colorable imitation! I was delighted。
  Nevertheless; for a moment he did not seem to reciprocate my feeling。
  He stared at me; staggered back and passed his hand across his forehead。
  〃Can it be;〃 he muttered thickly; 〃that I've got 'em agin?              Yet I only had
  shingle glash!〃
  But Fritz quickly interposed。
  〃Your Majesty is all rightthough;〃 he added in a lower voice; 〃let this
  be a  warning to   you   for to…morrow!          This   gentleman is   Mr。  Razorbill
  you know the old story of the Razorbills?Ha! ha!〃
  But the King did not laugh; he extended his hand and said gently; 〃You
  are    welcomemy         cousin!〃      Indeed;     my    sister…in…law     would     have
  probably said thatdissipated though he washe was the only gentleman
  there。
  〃I have come to see the coronation; your Majesty;〃 I said。
  〃And   you   shall;〃   said   the   King   heartily;   〃and   shall   go   with   us!   The
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  show   can't   begin   without   useh;   Spitz?〃   he   added   playfully;   poking   the
  veteran in the ribs; 〃whatever Michael may do!〃
  Then he   linked his arms   in   Spitz's and   mine。         〃Let's   go to   the hut
  and have some supper and fizz;〃 he said gayly。
  We went to the hut。        We had supper。        We ate and drank heavily。          We
  danced   madly   around   the   table。      Nevertheless   I   thought   that   Spitz   and
  Fritz were worried by the King's potations; and Spitz at last went so far as
  to   remind   his   Majesty   that   they   were   to   start   early   in   the   morning   for
  Kohlslau。      I noticed also that as the King drank his speech grew thicker
  and   Spitz   and   Fritz   exchanged   glances。       At   last   Spitz   said   with   stern
  significance:
  〃Your   Majesty   has   not   forgotten   the   test   invariably   submitted   to   the
  King at his coronation?〃
  〃Shertenly not;〃 replied the King; with his reckless laugh。                〃The King
  mush be able to pronounshname of his countryintel…lillil… gibly: mush
  shay     (hic!):  'I'm  King    ofKing     ofTootoo…tooral…      looral…anyer。'〃     He
  staggered; laughed; and fell under the table。
  〃He cannot say it!〃 gasped Fritz and Spitz in one voice。                〃He is lost!〃
  〃Unless;〃      said   Fritz   suddenly;     pointing    at   me    with    a  flash   of
  intelligence; 〃HE can personate him; and say it。               Can you?〃 he turned to
  me brusquely。
  It   was   an  awful   moment。       I   had   been   drinking   heavily   too;   but   I
  resolved   to   succeed。      〃I'm   King   of   Trooly…rooly〃   I   murmured;   but   I
  could not master itI staggered and followed the King under the table。
  〃Is there no one here;〃 roared Spitz; 〃who can shave thish dynasty; and
  shay 'Tooral'?      No!  it!     I mean 'Trularlooral'〃 but he; too; lurched
  hopelessly forward。
  〃No one can say 'Tooral…looral'〃 muttered Fritz; and; grasping Spitz
  in despair; they both rolled under the table。
  How   long   we   lay   there;   Heaven   knows!       I   was   awakened   by   Spitz
  playing the garden hose on me。             He was booted and spurred; with Fritz
  by his side。      The King was lying on a bench; saying feebly: 〃Blesh you;
  my chillen。〃
  〃By politely acceding to Black Michael's request to 'try our one… and…
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  six   sherry;'   he   has   been   brought   to   this   condition;〃   said   Spitz   bitterly。
  〃It's a trick to keep him from being crowned。                 In this country if the King
  is   crowned   while   drunk;   the   kingdom   instantly   reverts   to   a   villainno
  matter who。       But in this case the villain is Black Michael。              Ha! What say
  you;   lad?     Shall   we   frustrate   the   rascal;   by   having   YOU   personate   the
  King?〃
  I waswell!intoxicated at the thought!               But what would my sister…
  in…law   say?      Would   shein   her   Nonconformist   conscience   consider   it
  strictly   honorable?       But   I   swept   all   scruples   aside。   A  King   was   to   be
  saved!      〃I   will   go;〃   I  said。   〃Let    us  on   to  Kohlslauriding       like   the
  wind!〃      We   rode   like   the   wind;   furiously;   madly。     Mounted   on   a   wild;
  dashing   bayknown   familiarly   as   the   〃Bay   of   Biscay〃   from   its   rough
  turbulenceI easily kept the lead。 But our horses began to fail。                   Suddenly
  Spitz   halted;   clapped   his   hand   to   his   head;   and   threw   himself   from   his
  horse。     〃Fools!〃   he   said;   〃we   should   have   taken   the   train!     It   will   get
  there an hour before we will!〃            He pointed to a wayside station where the
  7。15 excursion train for Kohlslau was waiting。
  〃But     how    dreadfully     unmediaeval!What           will  the   public    say?〃    I
  began。
  〃Bother   the   public!〃   he   said   gruffly。    〃Who's   running   this   dynasty
  you or I?      Come!〃       With the assistance of Fritz he tied up my face with a
  handkerchief to simulate toothache; and then; with a shout of defiance; we
  three rushed madly into a closely packed third… class carriage。
  Never shall I forget the perils; the fatigue; the hopes and fears of that
  mad   journey。      Panting;   perspiring;   packed   together   with   cheap   trippers;
  but exalted with the one hope of saving the King; we at last staggered out
  on   the   Kohlslau   platform   utterly   exhausted。         As   we   did   so   we   heard   a
  distant   roar   from  the   city。  Fritz   turned an   ashen gray;  Spitz   a livid   blue。
  〃Are we too late?〃 he gasped; as we madly fought our way into the street;
  where shouts of 〃The King!              The King!〃 were rending the air。              〃Can it
  be    Black    Michael?〃       But     here   the   crowd     parted;    and   a  procession;
  preceded   by   outriders;   flashed   into   the   square。       And   there;   seated   in   a
  carriage beside the most beautiful red…haired girl I h