第 50 节
作者:青词      更新:2021-08-14 15:19      字数:8638
  bourne toward which we all are moving。
  * December thirty…first; 1888。
  Our minds are like solitary dwellers in a vast residence; whom habit
  has   accustomed   to   live   in   a   few   only   of   the   countless   chambers   around
  them。 We have collected from other parts of our lives mental furniture and
  bric…a…brac that time and   association have endeared   to us;  have installed
  these    meagre      belongings     convenient      to   our   hand;    and   contrived     an
  entrance giving facile access to our living…rooms; avoiding the effort of a
  long detour through the echoing corridors and disused salons behind。 No
  acquaintances; and but few friends; penetrate into the private chambers of
  our thoughts。 We set aside a common room for the reception of visitors;
  making   it   as   cheerful   as   circumstances   will   allow   and take   care that   the
  conversation   therein   rarely   turns   on   any   subject   more   personal   than   the
  view from the windows or the prophecies of the barometer。
  In the old…fashioned brick palace at Kensington; a little suite of rooms
  is carefully guarded from the public gaze; swept; garnished and tended as
  though   the   occupants   of   long   ago   were   hourly   expected   to   return。   The
  early    years   of  England's     aged    sovereign     were    passed   in   these   simple
  apartments and by her orders they have been kept unchanged; the furniture
  and   decorations   remaining   to…day   as   when   she   inhabited   them。   In   one
  corner; is assembled a group of dolls; dressed in the quaint finery of 1825。
  A set of miniature cooking utensils stands near by。 A child's scrap…books
  and color…boxes lie on the tables。 In one sunny chamber stands the little
  white…draped bed where the heiress to the greatest crown on earth dreamed
  her   childish   dreams;   and   from   which   she   was   hastily   aroused   one   June
  morning to be saluted as Queen。 So homelike and livable an air pervades
  the place;   that   one   almost   expects   to   see   the lonely  little girl of   seventy
  years ago playing about the unpretending chambers。
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  Affection for the past and a reverence for the memory of the dead have
  caused the royal wife and mother to preserve with the same care souvenirs
  of her passage in other royal residences。 The apartments that sheltered the
  first happy months of her wedded life; the rooms where she knew the joys
  and anxieties of maternity; have become for her consecrated sanctuaries;
  where   the   widowed;   broken   old   lady   comes   on   certain   anniversaries   to
  evoke the unforgotten past; to meditate and to pray。
  Who;   as   the   year   is   drawing   to   its   close;   does   not   open   in   memory
  some such sacred portal; and sit down in the familiar rooms to live over
  again the old hopes and fears; thrilling anew with the joys and temptations
  of other days? Yet; each year these pilgrimages into the past must become
  more and more lonely journeys; the friends whom we can take by the hand
  and lead back to our old homes become fewer with each decade。 It would
  be a useless sacrilege to force some listless acquaintance to accompany us。
  He would not hear   the voices that call to us; or see   the loved faces  that
  people   the   silent   passages;   and   would   wonder   what   attraction   we   could
  find in the stuffy; old…fashioned quarters。
  Many people have such a dislike for any mental privacy that they pass
  their lives in public; or surrounded only by sporting trophies and games。
  Some enjoy living in their pantries;  composing for themselves   succulent
  dishes;   and   interested   in   the   doings   of   the   servants;   their   companions。
  Others have turned their salons into nurseries; or feel a predilection for the
  stable and the dog… kennels。 Such people soon weary of their surroundings;
  and   move   constantly;   destroying;   when   they   leave   old   quarters;   all   the
  objects they had collected。
  The   men   and   women   who   have   thus   curtailed   their   belongings   are;
  however; quite contented with themselves。 No doubts ever harass them as
  to   the   commodity   or   appropriateness   of   their   lodgements   and   look   with
  pity and contempt on friends who remain faithful to old habitations。 The
  drawback to a migratory existence; however; is the fact that; as a French
  saying      has   put   it;  CEUX       QUI     SE    REFUSENT          LES     PENSEES
  SERIEUSES TOMBENT DANS LES IDEES NOIRES。 These people are
  surprised to find as the years go by that the futile amusements to which
  they have devoted themselves do not fill to their satisfaction all the hours
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  of a lifetime。 Having provided no books nor learned to practise any art; the
  time   hangs   heavily   on   their   hands。   They   dare   not   look   forward   into   the
  future;    so   blank    and   cheerless    does    it  appear。   The    past   is  even   more
  distasteful to them。 So; to fill the void in their hearts; they hurry out into
  the crowd as a refuge from their own thoughts。
  Happy those who care to revisit old abodes; childhood's remote wing;
  and    the   moonlit     porches     where    they   knew     the   rapture    of  a  first…love
  whisper。 Who can enter the chapel where their dead lie; and feel no blush
  of   self…reproach;   nor   burning   consciousness   of   broken   faith   nor   wasted
  opportunities?   The   new   year   will   bring   to   them   as   near   an   approach   to
  perfect happiness as can be attained in life's journey。 The fortunate mortals
  are rare who can; without a heartache or regret; pass through their disused
  and abandoned dwellings; who dare to open every door and enter all the
  silent rooms; who do not hurry shudderingly by some obscure corners; and
  return   with   a   sigh   of   relief   to   the   cheerful   sunlight   and   murmurs   of   the
  present。
  Sleepless   midnight   hours   come   inevitably   to   each   of   us;   when   the
  creaking   gates   of   subterranean   passages   far   down   in   our   consciousness
  open of themselves; and ghostly inhabitants steal out of awful vaults and
  force us to look again into their faces and touch their unhealed wounds。 An
  old lady whose cheerfulness under a hundred griefs and tribulations was a
  marvel and an example; once told a man who had come to her for counsel
  in    a  moment       of  bitter   trouble;    that   she   had    derived     comfort     when
  difficulties   loomed       big   around   her   by   writing   down   all   her   cares   and
  worries;   making   a   list   of   the   subjects   that   harassed   her;   and   had   always
  found that; when reduced to material written words; the dimensions of her
  troubles were astonishingly diminished。 She recommended her procedure
  to   the   troubled   youth;   and   prophesied   that   his   anxieties   would   dwindle
  away in the clear atmosphere of pen and paper。
  Introspection; the deliberate unlatching of closed wickets; has the same
  effect   of   stealing   away   the   bitterness   from   thoughts   that;   if   left   in   the
  gloom of semi…oblivion; will grow until they overshadow a whole life。 It is
  better to follow the example of England's pure Queen; visiting on certain
  anniversaries our secret places and holding communion with the past; for
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  it is by such scrutiny only
  THAT     MEN     MAY     RISE    ON    STEPPING…STONES           OF    THEIR
  DEAD SELVES TO HIGHER THINGS。
  Those who have courage to perform thoroughly this task will come
  out from the silent chambers purified and chastened; more lenient to the
  faults and shortcomings of   others; and better fitted   to take up   cheerfully
  the burdens of a new year。
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