第 16 节
作者:
莫再讲 更新:2021-05-04 17:53 字数:9322
would have been too plebeian for you since they had to lead; to
suffer with; to understand the commonest humanity。 No; you are
merely of the topmost layer; disdainful and superior; the mere pure
froth and bubble on the inscrutable depths which some day will toss
you out of existence。 But you are you! You are you! You are the
eternal love itself … only; O Divinity; it isn't your body; it is
your soul that is made of foam。〃
She listened as if in a dream。 He had succeeded so well in his
effort to drive back the flood of his passion that his life itself
seemed to run with it out of his body。 At that moment he felt as
one dead speaking。 But the headlong wave returning with tenfold
force flung him on her suddenly; with open arms and blazing eyes。
She found herself like a feather in his grasp; helpless; unable to
struggle; with her feet off the ground。 But this contact with her;
maddening like too much felicity; destroyed its own end。 Fire ran
through his veins; turned his passion to ashes; burnt him out and
left him empty; without force … almost without desire。 He let her
go before she could cry out。 And she was so used to the forms of
repression enveloping; softening the crude impulses of old humanity
that she no longer believed in their existence as if it were an
exploded legend。 She did not recognise what had happened to her。
She came safe out of his arms; without a struggle; not even having
felt afraid。
〃What's the meaning of this?〃 she said; outraged but calm in a
scornful way。
He got down on his knees in silence; bent low to her very feet;
while she looked down at him; a little surprised; without
animosity; as if merely curious to see what he would do。 Then;
while he remained bowed to the ground pressing the hem of her skirt
to his lips; she made a slight movement。 He got up。
〃No;〃 he said。 〃Were you ever so much mine what could I do with
you without your consent? No。 You don't conquer a wraith; cold
mist; stuff of dreams; illusion。 It must come to you and cling to
your breast。 And then! Oh! And then!〃
All ecstasy; all expression went out of his face。
〃Mr。 Renouard;〃 she said; 〃though you can have no claim on my
consideration after having decoyed me here for the vile purpose;
apparently; of gloating over me as your possible prey; I will tell
you that I am not perhaps the extraordinary being you think I am。
You may believe me。 Here I stand for truth itself。〃
〃What's that to me what you are?〃 he answered。 〃At a sign from you
I would climb up to the seventh heaven to bring you down to earth
for my own … and if I saw you steeped to the lips in vice; in
crime; in mud; I would go after you; take you to my arms … wear you
for an incomparable jewel on my breast。 And that's love … true
love … the gift and the curse of the gods。 There is no other。〃
The truth vibrating in his voice made her recoil slightly; for she
was not fit to hear it … not even a little … not even one single
time in her life。 It was revolting to her; and in her trouble;
perhaps prompted by the suggestion of his name or to soften the
harshness of expression; for she was obscurely moved; she spoke to
him in French。
〃ASSEZ! J'AI HORREUR DE TOUT CELA;〃 she said。
He was white to his very lips; but he was trembling no more。 The
dice had been cast; and not even violence could alter the throw。
She passed by him unbendingly; and he followed her down the path。
After a time she heard him saying:
〃And your dream is to influence a human destiny?〃
〃Yes!〃 she answered curtly; unabashed; with a woman's complete
assurance。
〃Then you may rest content。 You have done it。〃
She shrugged her shoulders slightly。 But just before reaching the
end of the path she relented; stopped; and went back to him。
〃I don't suppose you are very anxious for people to know how near
you came to absolute turpitude。 You may rest easy on that point。
I shall speak to my father; of course; and we will agree to say
that he has died … nothing more。〃
〃Yes;〃 said Renouard in a lifeless voice。 〃He is dead。 His very
ghost shall be done with presently。〃
She went on; but he remained standing stock still in the dusk。 She
had already reached the three palms when she heard behind her a
loud peal of laughter; cynical and joyless; such as is heard in
smoking…rooms at the end of a scandalous story。 It made her feel
positively faint for a moment。
CHAPTER XI
Slowly a complete darkness enveloped Geoffrey Renouard。 His
resolution had failed him。 Instead of following Felicia into the
house; he had stopped under the three palms; and leaning against a
smooth trunk had abandoned himself to a sense of an immense
deception and the feeling of extreme fatigue。 This walk up the
hill and down again was like the supreme effort of an explorer
trying to penetrate the interior of an unknown country; the secret
of which is too well defended by its cruel and barren nature。
Decoyed by a mirage; he had gone too far … so far that there was no
going back。 His strength was at an end。 For the first time in his
life he had to give up; and with a sort of despairing self…
possession he tried to understand the cause of the defeat。 He did
not ascribe it to that absurd dead man。
The hesitating shadow of Luiz approached him unnoticed till it
spoke timidly。 Renouard started。
〃Eh? What? Dinner waiting? You must say I beg to be excused。 I
can't come。 But I shall see them to…morrow morning; at the landing
place。 Take your orders from the professor as to the sailing of
the schooner。 Go now。〃
Luiz; dumbfounded; retreated into the darkness。 Renouard did not
move; but hours afterwards; like the bitter fruit of his
immobility; the words: 〃I had nothing to offer to her vanity;〃
came from his lips in the silence of the island。 And it was then
only that he stirred; only to wear the night out in restless
tramping up and down the various paths of the plantation。 Luiz;
whose sleep was made light by the consciousness of some impending
change; heard footsteps passing by his hut; the firm tread of the
master; and turning on his mats emitted a faint Tse! Tse! Tse! of
deep concern。
Lights had been burning in the bungalow almost all through the
night; and with the first sign of day began the bustle of
departure。 House boys walked processionally carrying suit…cases
and dressing…bags down to the schooner's boat; which came to the
landing place at the bottom of the garden。 Just as the rising sun
threw its golden nimbus around the purple shape of the headland;
the Planter of Malata was perceived pacing bare…headed the curve of
the little bay。 He exchanged a few words with the sailing…master
of the schooner; then remained by the boat; standing very upright;
his eyes on the ground; waiting。
He had not long to wait。 Into the cool; overshadowed garden the
professor descended first; and came jauntily down the path in a
lively cracking of small shells。 With his closed parasol hooked on
his forearm; and a book in his hand; he resembled a banal tourist
more than was permissible to a man of his unique distinction。 He
waved the disengaged arm from a distance; but at close quarters;
arrested before Renouard's immobility; he made no offer to shake
hands。 He seemed to appraise the aspect of the man with a sharp
glance; and made up his mind。
〃We are going back by Suez;〃 he began almost boisterously。 〃I have
been looking up the sailing lists。 If the zephirs of your Pacific
are only moderately propitious I think we are sure to catch the
mail boat due in Marseilles on the 18th of March。 This will suit
me excellently。 。 。 。〃 He lowered his tone。 〃My dear young
friend; I'm deeply grateful to you。〃
Renouard's set lips moved。
〃Why are you grateful to me?〃
〃Ah! Why? In the first place you might have made us miss the next
boat; mightn't you? 。 。 。 I don't thank you for your hospitality。
You can't be angry with me for saying that I am truly thankful to
escape from it。 But I am grateful to you for what you have done;
and … for being what you are。〃
It was difficult to define the flavour of that speech; but Renouard
received it with an austerely equivocal smile。 The professor
stepping into the boat opened his parasol and sat down in the
stern…sheets waiting for the ladies。 No sound of human voice broke
the fresh silence of the morning while they walked the broad path;
Miss Moorsom a little in advance of her aunt。
When she came abreast of him Renouard rai