第 160 节
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was in his nature to laugh。 After some scraping of his chin with his
hand; he went on to say; with his eyes cast downward—still
scraping; very slowly:
‘When I was but an umble clerk; she always looked down upon
me。 She was for ever having my Agnes backwards and forwards at
her ouse; and she was for ever being a friend to you; Master
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Copperfield; but I was too far beneath her; myself; to be noticed。’
‘Well?’ said I; ‘suppose you were!’
‘—And beneath him too;’ pursued Uriah; very distinctly; and in
a meditative tone of voice; as he continued to scrape his chin。
‘Don’t you know the Doctor better;’ said I; ‘than to suppose him
conscious of your existence; when you were not before him?’
He directed his eyes at me in that sidelong glance again; and he
made his face very lantern…jawed; for the greater convenience of
scraping; as he answered:
‘Oh dear; I am not referring to the Doctor! Oh no; poor man! I
mean Mr。 Maldon!’
My heart quite died within me。 All my old doubts and
apprehensions on that subject; all the Doctor’s happiness and
peace; all the mingled possibilities of innocence and compromise;
that I could not unravel; I saw; in a moment; at the mercy of this
fellow’s twisting。
‘He never could come into the office; without ordering and
shoving me about;’ said Uriah。 ‘One of your fine gentlemen he
was! I was very meek and umble—and I am。 But I didn’t like that
sort of thing—and I don’t!’
He left off scraping his chin; and sucked in his cheeks until they
seemed to meet inside; keeping his sidelong glance upon me all
the while。
‘She is one of your lovely women; she is;’ he pursued; when he
had slowly restored his face to its natural form; ‘and ready to be no
friend to such as me; I know。 She’s just the person as would put
my Agnes up to higher sort of game。 Now; I ain’t one of your lady’s
men; Master Copperfield; but I’ve had eyes in my ed; a pretty long
time back。 We umble ones have got eyes; mostly speaking—and
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we look out of ’em。’
I endeavoured to appear unconscious and not disquieted; but; I
saw in his face; with poor success。
‘Now; I’m not a…going to let myself be run down; Copperfield;’
he continued; raising that part of his countenance; where his red
eyebrows would have been if he had had any; with malignant
triumph; ‘and I shall do what I can to put a stop to this friendship。
I don’t approve of it。 I don’t mind acknowledging to you that I’ve
got rather a grudging disposition; and want to keep off all
intruders。 I ain’t a…going; if I know it; to run the risk of being
plotted against。’
‘You are always plotting; and delude yourself into the belief that
everybody else is doing the like; I think;’ said I。
‘Perhaps so; Master Copperfield;’ he replied。 ‘But I’ve got a
motive; as my fellow…partner used to say; and I go at it tooth and
nail。 I mustn’t be put upon; as a numble person; too much。 I can’t
allow people in my way。 Really they must come out of the cart;
Master Copperfield!’
‘I don’t understand you;’ said I。
‘Don’t you; though?’ he returned; with one of his jerks。 ‘I’m
astonished at that; Master Copperfield; you being usually so quick!
I’ll try to be plainer; another time。 —Is that Mr。 Maldon anorseback; ringing at the gate; sir?’
‘It looks like him;’ I replied; as carelessly as I could。
Uriah stopped short; put his hands between his great knobs of
knees; and doubled himself up with laughter。 With perfectly silent
laughter。 Not a sound escaped from him。 I was so repelled by his
odious behaviour; particularly by this concluding instance; that I
turned away without any ceremony; and left him doubled up in
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the middle of the garden; like a scarecrow in want of support。
It was not on that evening; but; as I well remember; on the next
evening but one; which was a Sunday; that I took Agnes to see
Dora。 I had arranged the visit; beforehand; with Miss Lavinia; and
Agnes was expected to tea。
I was in a flutter of pride and anxiety; pride in my dear little
betrothed; and anxiety that Agnes should like her。 All the way to
Putney; Agnes being inside the stage…coach; and I outside; I
pictured Dora to myself in every one of the pretty looks I knew so
well; now making up my mind that I should like her to look exactly
as she looked at such a time; and then doubting whether I should
not prefer her looking as she looked at such another time; and
almost worrying myself into a fever about it。
I was troubled by no doubt of her being very pretty; in any case;
but it fell out that I had never seen her look so well。 She was not in
the drawing…room when I presented Agnes to her little aunts; but
was shyly keeping out of the way。 I knew where to look for her;
now; and sure enough I found her stopping her ears again; behind
the same dull old door。
At first she wouldn’t come at all; and then she pleaded for five
minutes by my watch。 When at length she put her arm through
mine; to be taken to the drawing…room; her charming little face
was flushed; and had never been so pretty。 But; when we went
into the room; and it turned pale; she was ten thousand times
prettier yet。
Dora was afraid of Agnes。 She had told me that she knew Agnes
was ‘too clever’。 But when she saw her looking at once so cheerful
and so earnest; and so thoughtful; and so good; she gave a faint
little cry of pleased surprise; and just put her affectionate arms
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round Agnes’s neck; and laid her innocent cheek against her face。
I never was so happy。 I never was so pleased as when I saw
those two sit down together; side by side。 As when I saw my little
darling looking up so naturally to those cordial eyes。 As when I
saw the tender; beautiful regard which Agnes cast upon her。
Miss Lavinia and Miss Clarissa partook; in their way; of my joy。
It was the pleasantest tea…table in the world。 Miss Clarissa
presided。 I cut and handed the sweet seed…cake—the little sisters
had a bird…like fondness for picking up seeds and pecking at sugar;
Miss Lavinia looked on with benignant patronage; as if our happy
love were all her work; and we were perfectly contented with
ourselves and one another。
The gentle cheerfulness of Agnes went to all their hearts。 Her
quiet interest in everything that interested Dora; her manner of
making acquaintance with Jip (who responded instantly); her
pleasant way; when Dora was ashamed to come over to her usual
seat by me; her modest grace and ease; eliciting a crowd of
blushing little marks of confidence from Dora; seemed to make
our circle quite complete。
‘I am so glad;’ said Dora; after tea; ‘that you like me。 I didn’t
think you would; and I want; more than ever; to be liked; now
Julia Mills is gone。’
I have omitted to mention it; by the by。 Miss Mills had sailed;
and Dora and I had gone aboard a great East Indiaman at
Gravesend to see her; and we had had preserved ginger; and
guava; and other delicacies of that sort for lunch; and we had left
Miss Mills weeping on a camp…stool on the quarter…deck; with a
large new diary under her arm; in which the original reflections
awakened by the contemplation of Ocean were to be recorded
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under lock and key。
Agnes said she was afraid I must have given her an
unpromising character; but Dora corrected that directly。
‘Oh no!’ she said; shaking her curls at me; ‘it was all praise。 He
thinks so much of your opinion; that I was quite afraid of it。’
‘My good opinion cannot strengthen his attachment to some
people whom he knows;’ said Agnes; with a smile; ‘it is not worth
their having。’
‘But please let me have it;’ said Dora; in her coaxing way; ‘if you
can!’
We made merry about Dora’s wanting to be liked; and Dora
said I was a goose; and she didn’t like me at any rate; and the short
evening flew away on gossamer…wings。 The time was at hand
when the coach was to call for us。 I was standing alone before the
fire; when Dora came stealing softly in; to give me that usual
precious little kiss before I went。
‘Don’t you think; if I had had her for a friend a long time ago;
Doady;’ said Dora; her bright eyes shining very brightly; and her
little right hand idly busying itself with one of the buttons of my
coat; ‘I might have been more clever perhaps?’
‘My love!’ said I; ‘what nonsense!’
‘Do you think it is nonsense?’ returned Dora; without looking at
me。 ‘Are you sure it is?’
‘Of course I am!’
‘I have forgotten;’ said Dora; still turning the button round and
round; ‘what relation Agnes is to you; you dear bad boy。’
‘No blood…relation;’ I replied; ‘but we were brought up together;
like brother and sister。’
‘I wonder why you ever fell in love with me?’ said Dora