第 125 节
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不受约束 更新:2021-05-04 17:23 字数:9228
moon。 No matter what it was; I; the moon…struck slave of Dora;
perambulated round and round the house and garden for two
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hours; looking through crevices in the palings; getting my chin by
dint of violent exertion above the rusty nails on the top; blowing
kisses at the lights in the windows; and romantically calling on the
night; at intervals; to shield my Dora—I don’t exactly know what
from; I suppose from fire。 Perhaps from mice; to which she had a
great objection。
My love was so much in my mind and it was so natural to me to
confide in Peggotty; when I found her again by my side of an
evening with the old set of industrial implements; busily making
the tour of my wardrobe; that I imparted to her; in a sufficiently
roundabout way; my great secret。 Peggotty was strongly
interested; but I could not get her into my view of the case at all。
She was audaciously prejudiced in my favour; and quite unable to
understand why I should have any misgivings; or be low…spirited
about it。 ‘The young lady might think herself well off;’ she
observed; ‘to have such a beau。 And as to her Pa;’ she said; ‘what
did the gentleman expect; for gracious sake!’
I observed; however; that Mr。 Spenlow’s proctorial gown and
stiff cravat took Peggotty down a little; and inspired her with a
greater reverence for the man who was gradually becoming more
and more etherealized in my eyes every day; and about whom a
reflected radiance seemed to me to beam when he sat erect in
Court among his papers; like a little lighthouse in a sea of
stationery。 And by the by; it used to be uncommonly strange to me
to consider; I remember; as I sat in Court too; how those dim old
judges and doctors wouldn’t have cared for Dora; if they had
known her; how they wouldn’t have gone out of their senses with
rapture; if marriage with Dora had been proposed to them; how
Dora might have sung; and played upon that glorified guitar; until
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she led me to the verge of madness; yet not have tempted one of
those slow…goers an inch out of his road!
I despised them; to a man。 Frozen…out old gardeners in the
flower…beds of the heart; I took a personal offence against them all。
The Bench was nothing to me but an insensible blunderer。 The
Bar had no more tenderness or poetry in it; than the bar of a
public…house。
Taking the management of Peggotty’s affairs into my own
hands; with no little pride; I proved the will; and came to a
settlement with the Legacy Duty…office; and took her to the Bank;
and soon got everything into an orderly train。 We varied the legal
character of these proceedings by going to see some perspiring
Wax…work; in Fleet Street (melted; I should hope; these twenty
years); and by visiting Miss Linwood’s Exhibition; which I
remember as a Mausoleum of needlework; favourable to self…
examination and repentance; and by inspecting the Tower of
London; and going to the top of St。 Paul’s。 All these wonders
afforded Peggotty as much pleasure as she was able to enjoy;
under existing circumstances: except; I think; St。 Paul’s; which;
from her long attachment to her work…box; became a rival of the
picture on the lid; and was; in some particulars; vanquished; she
considered; by that work of art。
Peggotty’s business; which was what we used to call ‘commonform business’ in the Commons (and very light and lucrative the
common…form business was); being settled; I took her down to the
office one morning to pay her bill。 Mr。 Spenlow had stepped out;
old Tiffey said; to get a gentleman sworn for a marriage licence;
but as I knew he would be back directly; our place lying close to
the Surrogate’s; and to the Vicar…General’s office too; I told
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Peggotty to wait。
We were a little like undertakers; in the Commons; as regarded
Probate transactions; generally making it a rule to look more or
less cut up; when we had to deal with clients in mourning。 In a
similar feeling of delicacy; we were always blithe and light…hearted
with the licence clients。 Therefore I hinted to Peggotty that she
would find Mr。 Spenlow much recovered from the shock of Mr。
Barkis’s decease; and indeed he came in like a bridegroom。
But neither Peggotty nor I had eyes for him; when we saw; in
company with him; Mr。 Murdstone。 He was very little changed。
His hair looked as thick; and was certainly as black; as ever; and
his glance was as little to be trusted as of old。
‘Ah; Copperfield?’ said Mr。 Spenlow。 ‘You know this gentleman;
I believe?’
I made my gentleman a distant bow; and Peggotty barely
recognized him。 He was; at first; somewhat disconcerted to meet
us two together; but quickly decided what to do; and came up to
me。
‘I hope;’ he said; ‘that you are doing well?’
‘It can hardly be interesting to you;’ said I。 ‘Yes; if you wish to
know。’
We looked at each other; and he addressed himself to Peggotty。
‘And you;’ said he。 ‘I am sorry to observe that you have lost your
husband。’
‘It’s not the first loss I have had in my life; Mr。 Murdstone;’
replied Peggotty; trembling from head to foot。 ‘I am glad to hope
that there is nobody to blame for this one;—nobody to answer for
it。’
‘Ha!’ said he; ‘that’s a comfortable reflection。 You have done
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your duty?’
‘I have not worn anybody’s life away;’ said Peggotty; ‘I am
thankful to think! No; Mr。 Murdstone; I have not worrited and
frightened any sweet creetur to an early grave!’
He eyed her gloomily—remorsefully I thought—for an instant;
and said; turning his head towards me; but looking at my feet
instead of my face:
‘We are not likely to encounter soon again;—a source of
satisfaction to us both; no doubt; for such meetings as this can
never be agreeable。 I do not expect that you; who always rebelled
against my just authority; exerted for your benefit and
reformation; should owe me any good…will now。 There is an
antipathy between us—’
‘An old one; I believe?’ said I; interrupting him。
He smiled; and shot as evil a glance at me as could come from
his dark eyes。
‘It rankled in your baby breast;’ he said。 ‘It embittered the life of
your poor mother。 You are right。 I hope you may do better; yet; I
hope you may correct yourself。’
Here he ended the dialogue; which had been carried on in a low
voice; in a corner of the outer office; by passing into Mr。 Spenlow’s
room; and saying aloud; in his smoothest manner:
‘Gentlemen of Mr。 Spenlow’s profession are accustomed to
family differences; and know how complicated and difficult they
always are!’ With that; he paid the money for his licence; and;
receiving it neatly folded from Mr。 Spenlow; together with a shake
of the hand; and a polite wish for his happiness and the lady’s;
went out of the office。
I might have had more difficulty in constraining myself to be
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silent under his words; if I had had less difficulty in impressing
upon Peggotty (who was only angry on my account; good
creature!) that we were not in a place for recrimination; and that I
besought her to hold her peace。 She was so unusually roused; that
I was glad to compound for an affectionate hug; elicited by this
revival in her mind of our old injuries; and to make the best I
could of it; before Mr。 Spenlow and the clerks。
Mr。 Spenlow did not appear to know what the connexion
between Mr。 Murdstone and myself was; which I was glad of; for I
could not bear to acknowledge him; even in my own breast;
remembering what I did of the history of my poor mother。 Mr。
Spenlow seemed to think; if he thought anything about the matter;
that my aunt was the leader of the state party in our family; and
that there was a rebel party commanded by somebody else—so I
gathered at least from what he said; while we were waiting for Mr。
Tiffey to make out Peggotty’s bill of costs。
‘Miss Trotwood;’ he remarked; ‘is very firm; no doubt; and not
likely to give way to opposition。 I have an admiration for her
character; and I may congratulate you; Copperfield; on being on
the right side。 Differences between relations are much to be
deplored—but they are extremely general—and the great thing is;
to be on the right side’: meaning; I take it; on the side of the
moneyed interest。
‘Rather a good marriage this; I believe?’ said Mr。 Spenlow。
I explained that I knew nothing about it。
‘Indeed!’ he said。 ‘Speaking from the few words Mr。 Murdstone
dropped—as a man frequently does on these occasions—and from
what Miss Murdstone let fall; I should say it was rather a good
marriage。’
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‘Do you mean that there is money; sir?’ I asked。
‘Yes;’ said Mr。 Spenlow; ‘I understand there’s money。 Beauty
too; I am told。’
‘Indeed! Is h