第 124 节
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there is between us! And is this;’ she added; looking at her visitor
with the proud intolerant air with which she had begun; ‘no
injury?’
While I heard and saw the mother as she said these words; I
seemed to hear and see the son; defying them。 All that I had ever
seen in him of an unyielding; wilful spirit; I saw in her。 All the
understanding that I had now of his misdirected energy; became
an understanding of her character too; and a perception that it
was; in its strongest springs; the same。
She now observed to me; aloud; resuming her former restraint;
that it was useless to hear more; or to say more; and that she
begged to put an end to the interview。 She rose with an air of
dignity to leave the room; when Mr。 Peggotty signified that it was
needless。
‘Doen’t fear me being any hindrance to you; I have no more to
say; ma’am;’ he remarked; as he moved towards the door。 ‘I come
beer with no hope; and I take away no hope。 I have done what I
thowt should be done; but I never looked fur any good to come of
my stan’ning where I do。 This has been too evil a house fur me and
mine; fur me to be in my right senses and expect it。’
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With this; we departed; leaving her standing by her elbow…
chair; a picture of a noble presence and a handsome face。
We had; on our way out; to cross a paved hall; with glass sides
and roof; over which a vine was trained。 Its leaves and shoots were
green then; and the day being sunny; a pair of glass doors leading
to the garden were thrown open。 Rosa Dartle; entering this way
with a noiseless step; when we were close to them; addressed
herself to me:
‘You do well;’ she said; ‘indeed; to bring this fellow here!’
Such a concentration of rage and scorn as darkened her face;
and flashed in her jet…black eyes; I could not have thought
compressible even into that face。 The scar made by the hammer
was; as usual in this excited state of her features; strongly marked。
When the throbbing I had seen before; came into it as I looked at
her; she absolutely lifted up her hand; and struck it。
‘This is a fellow;’ she said; ‘to champion and bring here; is he
not? You are a true man!’
‘Miss Dartle;’ I returned; ‘you are surely not so unjust as to
condemn me!’
‘Why do you bring division between these two mad creatures?’
she returned。 ‘Don’t you know that they are both mad with their
own self…will and pride?’
‘Is it my doing?’ I returned。
‘Is it your doing!’ she retorted。 ‘Why do you bring this man
here?’
‘He is a deeply…injured man; Miss Dartle;’ I replied。 ‘You may
not know it。’
‘I know that James Steerforth;’ she said; with her hand on her
bosom; as if to prevent the storm that was raging there; from being
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loud; ‘has a false; corrupt heart; and is a traitor。 But what need I
know or care about this fellow; and his common niece?’
‘Miss Dartle;’ I returned; ‘you deepen the injury。 It is sufficient
already。 I will only say; at parting; that you do him a great wrong。’
‘I do him no wrong;’ she returned。 ‘They are a depraved;
worthless set。 I would have her whipped!’
Mr。 Peggotty passed on; without a word; and went out at the
door。
‘Oh; shame; Miss Dartle! shame!’ I said indignantly。 ‘How can
you bear to trample on his undeserved affliction!’
‘I would trample on them all;’ she answered。 ‘I would have his
house pulled down。 I would have her branded on the face; dressed
in rags; and cast out in the streets to starve。 If I had the power to
sit in judgement on her; I would see it done。 See it done? I would
do it! I detest her。 If I ever could reproach her with her infamous
condition; I would go anywhere to do so。 If I could hunt her to her
grave; I would。 If there was any word of comfort that would be a
solace to her in her dying hour; and only I possessed it; I wouldn’t
part with it for Life itself。’
The mere vehemence of her words can convey; I am sensible;
but a weak impression of the passion by which she was possessed;
and which made itself articulate in her whole figure; though her
voice; instead of being raised; was lower than usual。 No
description I could give of her would do justice to my recollection
of her; or to her entire deliverance of herself to her anger。 I have
seen passion in many forms; but I have never seen it in such a
form as that。
When I joined Mr。 Peggotty; he was walking slowly and
thoughtfully down the hill。 He told me; as soon as I came up with
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him; that having now discharged his mind of what he had
purposed doing in London; he meant ‘to set out on his travels’;
that night。 I asked him where he meant to go? He only answered;
‘I’m a going; sir; to seek my niece。’
We went back to the little lodging over the chandler’s shop; and
there I found an opportunity of repeating to Peggotty what he had
said to me。 She informed me; in return; that he had said the same
to her that morning。 She knew no more than I did; where he was
going; but she thought he had some project shaped out in his
mind。
I did not like to leave him; under such circumstances; and we
all three dined together off a beefsteak pie—which was one of the
many good things for which Peggotty was famous—and which was
curiously flavoured on this occasion; I recollect well; by a
miscellaneous taste of tea; coffee; butter; bacon; cheese; new
loaves; firewood; candles; and walnut ketchup; continually
ascending from the shop。 After dinner we sat for an hour or so
near the window; without talking much; and then Mr。 Peggotty got
up; and brought his oilskin bag and his stout stick; and laid them
on the table。
He accepted; from his sister’s stock of ready money; a small
sum on account of his legacy; barely enough; I should have
thought; to keep him for a month。 He promised to communicate
with me; when anything befell him; and he slung his bag about
him; took his hat and stick; and bade us both ‘Good…bye!’
‘All good attend you; dear old woman;’ he said; embracing
Peggotty; ‘and you too; Mas’r Davy!’ shaking hands with me。 ‘I’m
a…going to seek her; fur and wide。 If she should come home while
I’m away—but ah; that ain’t like to be!—or if I should bring her
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back; my meaning is; that she and me shall live and die where no
one can’t reproach her。 If any hurt should come to me; remember
that the last words I left for her was; “My unchanged love is with
my darling child; and I forgive her!”’
He said this solemnly; bare…headed; then; putting on his hat; he
went down the stairs; and away。 We followed to the door。 It was a
warm; dusty evening; just the time when; in the great main
thoroughfare out of which that by…way turned; there was a
temporary lull in the eternal tread of feet upon the pavement; and
a strong red sunshine。 He turned; alone; at the corner of our shady
street; into a glow of light; in which we lost him。
Rarely did that hour of the evening come; rarely did I wake at
night; rarely did I look up at the moon; or stars; or watch the
falling rain; or hear the wind; but I thought of his solitary figure
toiling on; poor pilgrim; and recalled the words:
‘I’m a going to seek her; fur and wide。 If any hurt should come
to me; remember that the last words I left for her was; “My
unchanged love is with my darling child; and I forgive her!”’
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Chapter 33
BLISSFUL
All this time; I had gone on loving Dora; harder than ever。 Her
idea was my refuge in disappointment and distress; and made
some amends to me; even for the loss of my friend。 The more I
pitied myself; or pitied others; the more I sought for consolation in
the image of Dora。 The greater the accumulation of deceit and
trouble in the world; the brighter and the purer shone the star of
Dora high above the world。 I don’t think I had any definite idea
where Dora came from; or in what degree she was related to a
higher order of beings; but I am quite sure I should have scouted
the notion of her being simply human; like any other young lady;
with indignation and contempt。
If I may so express it; I was steeped in Dora。 I was not merely
over head and ears in love with her; but I was saturated through
and through。 Enough love might have been wrung out of me;
metaphorically speaking; to drown anybody in; and yet there
would have remained enough within me; and all over me; to
pervade my entire existence。
The first thing I did; on my own account; when I came back;
was to take a night…walk to Norwood; and; like the subject of a
venerable riddle of my childhood; to go ‘round and round the
house; without ever touching the house’; thinking about Dora。 I
believe the theme of this incomprehensible conundrum was the
moon。 No matter what it was; I; the moon…struck slave of Dora;
perambulated