第 118 节
作者:不受约束      更新:2021-05-04 17:23      字数:9138
  morning; and was in the churchyard when it came; attended only
  by Peggotty and her brother。 The mad gentleman looked on; out of
  my little window; Mr。 Chillip’s baby wagged its heavy head; and
  rolled its goggle eyes; at the clergyman; over its nurse’s shoulder;
  Mr。 Omer breathed short in the background; no one else was
  there; and it was very quiet。 We walked about the churchyard for
  an hour; after all was over; and pulled some young leaves from the
  tree above my mother’s grave。
  A dread falls on me here。 A cloud is lowering on the distant
  town; towards which I retraced my solitary steps。 I fear to
  approach it。 I cannot bear to think of what did come; upon that
  memorable night; of what must come again; if I go on。
  It is no worse; because I write of it。 It would be no better; if I
  stopped my most unwilling hand。 It is done。 Nothing can undo it;
  nothing can make it otherwise than as it was。
  My old nurse was to go to London with me next day; on the
  business of the will。 Little Emily was passing that day at Mr。
  Omer’s。 We were all to meet in the old boathouse that night。 Ham
  would bring Emily at the usual hour。 I would walk back at my
  leisure。 The brother and sister would return as they had come;
  and be expecting us; when the day closed in; at the fireside。
  I parted from them at the wicket…gate; where visionary Strap
  had rested with Roderick Random’s knapsack in the days of yore;
  and; instead of going straight back; walked a little distance on the
  road to Lowestoft。 Then I turned; and walked back towards
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  Yarmouth。 I stayed to dine at a decent alehouse; some mile or two
  from the Ferry I have mentioned before; and thus the day wore
  away; and it was evening when I reached it。 Rain was falling
  heavily by that time; and it was a wild night; but there was a moon
  behind the clouds; and it was not dark。
  I was soon within sight of Mr。 Peggotty’s house; and of the light
  within it shining through the window。 A little floundering across
  the sand; which was heavy; brought me to the door; and I went in。
  It looked very comfortable indeed。 Mr。 Peggotty had smoked his
  evening pipe and there were preparations for some supper by and
  by。 The fire was bright; the ashes were thrown up; the locker was
  ready for little Emily in her old place。 In her own old place sat
  Peggotty; once more; looking (but for her dress) as if she had
  never left it。 She had fallen back; already; on the society of the
  work…box with St。 Paul’s upon the lid; the yard…measure in the
  cottage; and the bit of wax…candle; and there they all were; just as
  if they had never been disturbed。 Mrs。 Gummidge appeared to be
  fretting a little; in her old corner; and consequently looked quite
  natural; too。
  ‘You’re first of the lot; Mas’r Davy!’ said Mr。 Peggotty with a
  happy face。 ‘Doen’t keep in that coat; sir; if it’s wet。’
  ‘Thank you; Mr。 Peggotty;’ said I; giving him my outer coat to
  hang up。 ‘It’s quite dry。’
  ‘So ’tis!’ said Mr。 Peggotty; feeling my shoulders。 ‘As a chip! Sit
  ye down; sir。 It ain’t o’ no use saying welcome to you; but you’re
  welcome; kind and hearty。’
  ‘Thank you; Mr。 Peggotty; I am sure of that。 Well; Peggotty!’
  said I; giving her a kiss。 ‘And how are you; old woman?’
  ‘Ha; ha!’ laughed Mr。 Peggotty; sitting down beside us; and
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  rubbing his hands in his sense of relief from recent trouble; and in
  the genuine heartiness of his nature; ‘there’s not a woman in the
  wureld; sir—as I tell her—that need to feel more easy in her mind
  than her! She done her dooty by the departed; and the departed
  know’d it; and the departed done what was right by her; as she
  done what was right by the departed;—and—and—and it’s all
  right!’
  Mrs。 Gummidge groaned。
  ‘Cheer up; my pritty mawther!’ said Mr。 Peggotty。 (But he
  shook his head aside at us; evidently sensible of the tendency of
  the late occurrences to recall the memory of the old one。) ‘Doen’t
  be down! Cheer up; for your own self; on’y a little bit; and see if a
  good deal more doen’t come nat’ral!’
  ‘Not to me; Dan’l;’ returned Mrs。 Gummidge。 ‘Nothink’s nat’ral
  to me but to be lone and lorn。’
  ‘No; no;’ said Mr。 Peggotty; soothing her sorrows。
  ‘Yes; yes; Dan’l!’ said Mrs。 Gummidge。 ‘I ain’t a person to live
  with them as has had money left。 Thinks go too contrary with me。
  I had better be a riddance。’
  ‘Why; how should I ever spend it without you?’ said Mr。
  Peggotty; with an air of serious remonstrance。 ‘What are you a
  talking on? Doen’t I want you more now; than ever I did?’
  ‘I know’d I was never wanted before!’ cried Mrs。 Gummidge;
  with a pitiable whimper; ‘and now I’m told so! How could I expect
  to be wanted; being so lone and lorn; and so contrary!’
  Mr。 Peggotty seemed very much shocked at himself for having
  made a speech capable of this unfeeling construction; but was
  prevented from replying; by Peggotty’s pulling his sleeve; and
  shaking her head。 After looking at Mrs。 Gummidge for some
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  moments; in sore distress of mind; he glanced at the Dutch clock;
  rose; snuffed the candle; and put it in the window。
  ‘Theer!’said Mr。 Peggotty; cheerily。 ‘Theer we are; Missis
  Gummidge!’ Mrs。 Gummidge slightly groaned。 ‘Lighted up;
  accordin’ to custom! You’re a wonderin’ what that’s fur; sir! Well;
  it’s fur our little Em’ly。 You see; the path ain’t over light or
  cheerful arter dark; and when I’m here at the hour as she’s a
  comin’ home; I puts the light in the winder。 That; you see;’ said
  Mr。 Peggotty; bending over me with great glee; ‘meets two objects。
  She says; says Em’ly; “Theer’s home!” she says。 And likewise; says
  Em’ly; “My uncle’s theer!” Fur if I ain’t theer; I never have no light
  showed。’
  ‘You’re a baby!’ said Peggotty; very fond of him for it; if she
  thought so。
  ‘Well;’ returned Mr。 Peggotty; standing with his legs pretty wide
  apart; and rubbing his hands up and down them in his
  comfortable satisfaction; as he looked alternately at us and at the
  fire。 ‘I doen’t know but I am。 Not; you see; to look at。’
  ‘Not azackly;’ observed Peggotty。
  ‘No;’ laughed Mr。 Peggotty; ‘not to look at; but to—to consider
  on; you know。 I doen’t care; bless you! Now I tell you。 When I go a
  looking and looking about that theer pritty house of our Em’ly’s;
  I’m—I’m Gormed;’ said Mr。 Peggotty; with sudden emphasis—
  ‘theer! I can’t say more—if I doen’t feel as if the littlest things was
  her; a’most。 I takes ’em up and I put ’em down; and I touches of
  ’em as delicate as if they was our Em’ly。 So ’tis with her little
  bonnets and that。 I couldn’t see one on ’em rough used a
  purpose—not fur the whole wureld。 There’s a babby fur you; in
  the form of a great Sea Porkypine!’ said Mr。 Peggotty; relieving his
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  earnestness with a roar of laughter。
  Peggotty and I both laughed; but not so loud。
  ‘It’s my opinion; you see;’ said Mr。 Peggotty; with a delighted
  face; after some further rubbing of his legs; ‘as this is along of my
  havin’ played with her so much; and made believe as we was
  Turks; and French; and sharks; and every wariety of forinners—
  bless you; yes; and lions and whales; and I doen’t know what all!—
  when she warn’t no higher than my knee。 I’ve got into the way on
  it; you know。 Why; this here candle; now!’ said Mr。 Peggotty;
  gleefully holding out his hand towards it; ‘I know wery well that
  arter she’s married and gone; I shall put that candle theer; just the
  same as now。 I know wery well that when I’m here o’ nights (and
  where else should I live; bless your arts; whatever fortun’ I come
  into!) and she ain’t here or I ain’t theer; I shall put the candle in
  the winder; and sit afore the fire; pretending I’m expecting of her;
  like I’m a doing now。 There’s a babby for you;’ said Mr。 Peggotty;
  with another roar; ‘in the form of a Sea Porkypine! Why; at the
  present minute; when I see the candle sparkle up; I says to myself;
  “She’s a looking at it! Em’ly’s a coming!” There’s a babby for you;
  in the form of a Sea Porkypine! Right for all that;’ said Mr。
  Peggotty; stopping in his roar; and smiting his hands together; ‘fur
  here she is!’
  It was only Ham。 The night should have turned more wet since
  I came in; for he had a large sou’wester hat on; slouched over his
  face。
  ‘Wheer’s Em’ly?’ said Mr。 Peggotty。
  Ham made a motion with his head; as if she were outside。 Mr。
  Peggotty took the light from the window; trimmed it; put it on the
  table; and was busily stirring the fire; when Ham; who had not
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  moved; said:
  ‘Mas’r Davy; will you come out a minute; and see what Em’ly
  and me has got to show you?’
  We went out。 As I passed him at the door; I saw; to my
  astonishment and fr