第 115 节
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不受约束 更新:2021-05-04 17:23 字数:9187
‘Much!’ said Steerforth。 ‘Much more than for any other。 Here is
Daisy; too; loves music from his soul。 Sing us an Irish song; Rosa!
and let me sit and listen as I used to do。’
He did not touch her; or the chair from which she had risen; but
sat himself near the harp。 She stood beside it for some little while;
in a curious way; going through the motion of playing it with her
right hand; but not sounding it。 At length she sat down; and drew
it to her with one sudden action; and played and sang。
I don’t know what it was; in her touch or voice; that made that
song the most unearthly I have ever heard in my life; or can
imagine。 There was something fearful in the reality of it。 It was as
if it had never been written; or set to music; but sprung out of
passion within her; which found imperfect utterance in the low
sounds of her voice; and crouched again when all was still。 I was
dumb when she leaned beside the harp again; playing it; but not
sounding it; with her right hand。
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A minute more; and this had roused me from my trance:—
Steerforth had left his seat; and gone to her; and had put his arm
laughingly about her; and had said; ‘Come; Rosa; for the future we
will love each other very much!’ And she had struck him; and had
thrown him off with the fury of a wild cat; and had burst out of the
room。
‘What is the matter with Rosa?’ said Mrs。 Steerforth; coming in。
‘She has been an angel; mother;’ returned Steerforth; ‘for a
little while; and has run into the opposite extreme; since; by way of
compensation。’
‘You should be careful not to irritate her; James。 Her temper
has been soured; remember; and ought not to be tried。’
Rosa did not come back; and no other mention was made of
her; until I went with Steerforth into his room to say Good night。
Then he laughed about her; and asked me if I had ever seen such a
fierce little piece of incomprehensibility。
I expressed as much of my astonishment as was then capable of
expression; and asked if he could guess what it was that she had
taken so much amiss; so suddenly。
‘Oh; Heaven knows;’ said Steerforth。 ‘Anything you like—or
nothing! I told you she took everything; herself included; to a
grindstone; and sharpened it。 She is an edge…tool; and requires
great care in dealing with。 She is always dangerous。 Good night!’
‘Good night!’ said I; ‘my dear Steerforth! I shall be gone before
you wake in the morning。 Good night!’
He was unwilling to let me go; and stood; holding me out; with a
hand on each of my shoulders; as he had done in my own room。
‘Daisy;’ he said; with a smile—‘for though that’s not the name
your godfathers and godmothers gave you; it’s the name I like best
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to call you by—and I wish; I wish; I wish; you could give it to me!’
‘Why so I can; if I choose;’ said I。
‘Daisy; if anything should ever separate us; you must think of
me at my best; old boy。 Come! Let us make that bargain。 Think of
me at my best; if circumstances should ever part us!’
‘You have no best to me; Steerforth;’ said I; ‘and no worst。 You
are always equally loved; and cherished in my heart。’
So much compunction for having ever wronged him; even by a
shapeless thought; did I feel within me; that the confession of
having done so was rising to my lips。 But for the reluctance I had
to betray the confidence of Agnes; but for my uncertainty how to
approach the subject with no risk of doing so; it would have
reached them before he said; ‘God bless you; Daisy; and good
night!’ In my doubt; it did not reach them; and we shook hands;
and we parted。
I was up with the dull dawn; and; having dressed as quietly as I
could; looked into his room。 He was fast asleep; lying; easily; with
his head upon his arm; as I had often seen him lie at school。
The time came in its season; and that was very soon; when I
almost wondered that nothing troubled his repose; as I looked at
him。 But he slept—let me think of him so again—as I had often
seen him sleep at school; and thus; in this silent hour; I left him。
—Never more; oh God forgive you; Steerforth! to touch that
passive hand in love and friendship。 Never; never more!
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Chapter 30
A LOSS
Igot down to Yarmouth in the evening; and went to the inn。 I
knew that Peggotty’s spare room—my room—was likely to
have occupation enough in a little while; if that great Visitor;
before whose presence all the living must give place; were not
already in the house; so I betook myself to the inn; and dined
there; and engaged my bed。
It was ten o’clock when I went out。 Many of the shops were
shut; and the town was dull。 When I came to Omer and Joram’s; I
found the shutters up; but the shop door standing open。 As I could
obtain a perspective view of Mr。 Omer inside; smoking his pipe by
the parlour door; I entered; and asked him how he was。
‘Why; bless my life and soul!’ said Mr。 Omer; ‘how do you find
yourself? Take a seat。—Smoke not disagreeable; I hope?’
‘By no means;’ said I。 ‘I like it—in somebody else’s pipe。’
‘What; not in your own; eh?’ Mr。 Omer returned; laughing。 ‘All
the better; sir。 Bad habit for a young man。 Take a seat。 I smoke;
myself; for the asthma。’
Mr。 Omer had made room for me; and placed a chair。 He now
sat down again very much out of breath; gasping at his pipe as if it
contained a supply of that necessary; without which he must
perish。
‘I am sorry to have heard bad news of Mr。 Barkis;’ said I。
Mr。 Omer looked at me; with a steady countenance; and shook
his head。
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‘Do you know how he is tonight?’ I asked。
‘The very question I should have put to you; sir;’ returned Mr。
Omer; ‘but on account of delicacy。 It’s one of the drawbacks of our
line of business。 When a party’s ill; we can’t ask how the party is。’
The difficulty had not occurred to me; though I had had my
apprehensions too; when I went in; of hearing the old tune。 On its
being mentioned; I recognized it; however; and said as much。
‘Yes; yes; you understand;’ said Mr。 Omer; nodding his head。
‘We dursn’t do it。 Bless you; it would be a shock that the generality
of parties mightn’t recover; to say “Omer and Joram’s
compliments; and how do you find yourself this morning?”—or
this afternoon—as it may be。’
Mr。 Omer and I nodded at each other; and Mr。 Omer recruited
his wind by the aid of his pipe。
‘It’s one of the things that cut the trade off from attentions they
could often wish to show;’ said Mr。 Omer。 ‘Take myself。 If I have
known Barkis a year; to move to as he went by; I have known him
forty years。 But I can’t go and say; “how is he?”’
I felt it was rather hard on Mr。 Omer; and I told him so。
‘I’m not more self…interested; I hope; than another man;’ said
Mr。 Omer。 ‘Look at me! My wind may fail me at any moment; and
it ain’t likely that; to my own knowledge; I’d be self…interested
under such circumstances。 I say it ain’t likely; in a man who knows
his wind will go; when it does go; as if a pair of bellows was cut
open; and that man a grandfather;’ said Mr。 Omer。
I said; ‘Not at all。’
‘It ain’t that I complain of my line of business;’ said Mr。 Omer。
‘It ain’t that。 Some good and some bad goes; no doubt; to all
callings。 What I wish is; that parties was brought up stronger…
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minded。’
Mr。 Omer; with a very complacent and amiable face; took
several puffs in silence; and then said; resuming his first point:
‘Accordingly we’re obleeged; in ascertaining how Barkis goes
on; to limit ourselves to Em’ly。 She knows what our real objects
are; and she don’t have any more alarms or suspicions about us;
than if we was so many lambs。 Minnie and Joram have just
stepped down to the house; in fact (she’s there; after hours;
helping her aunt a bit); to ask her how he is tonight; and if you was
to please to wait till they come back; they’d give you full
partic’lers。 Will you take something? A glass of srub and water;
now? I smoke on srub and water; myself;’ said Mr。 Omer; taking
up his glass; ‘because it’s considered softening to the passages; by
which this troublesome breath of mine gets into action。 But; Lord
bless you;’ said Mr。 Omer; huskily; ‘it ain’t the passages that’s out
of order! “Give me breath enough;” said I to my daughter Minnie;
“and I’ll find passages; my dear。”’
He really had no breath to spare; and it was very alarming to
see him laugh。 When he was again in a condition to be talked to; I
thanked him for the proffered refreshment; which I declined; as I
had just had dinner; and; observing that I would wait; since he was
so good as to invite me; until his daughter and his son…in…law came
back; I inquired how little Emily was?
‘Well; sir;’