第 53 节
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to attend to my story; which she elicited from me; gradually; by a
course of questions。 During my recital; she kept her eyes on Mr。
Dick; who I thought would have gone to sleep but for that; and
who; whensoever he lapsed into a smile; was checked by a frown
from my aunt。
‘Whatever possessed that poor unfortunate Baby; that she must
go and be married again;’ said my aunt; when I had finished; ‘I
can’t conceive。’
‘Perhaps she fell in love with her second husband;’ Mr。 Dick
suggested。
‘Fell in love!’ repeated my aunt。 ‘What do you mean? What
business had she to do it?’
‘Perhaps;’ Mr。 Dick simpered; after thinking a little; ‘she did it
for pleasure。’
‘Pleasure; indeed!’ replied my aunt。 ‘A mighty pleasure for the
poor Baby to fix her simple faith upon any dog of a fellow; certain
to ill…use her in some way or other。 What did she propose to
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herself; I should like to know! She had had one husband。 She had
seen David Copperfield out of the world; who was always running
after wax dolls from his cradle。 She had got a baby—oh; there
were a pair of babies when she gave birth to this child sitting here;
that Friday night!—and what more did she want?’
Mr。 Dick secretly shook his head at me; as if he thought there
was no getting over this。
‘She couldn’t even have a baby like anybody else;’ said my aunt。
‘Where was this child’s sister; Betsey Trotwood? Not forthcoming。
Don’t tell me!’
Mr。 Dick seemed quite frightened。
‘That little man of a doctor; with his head on one side;’ said my
aunt; ‘Jellips; or whatever his name was; what was he about? All
he could do; was to say to me; like a robin redbreast—as he is—
“It’s a boy。” A boy! Yah; the imbecility of the whole set of ’em!’
The heartiness of the ejaculation startled Mr。 Dick exceedingly;
and me; too; if I am to tell the truth。
‘And then; as if this was not enough; and she had not stood
sufficiently in the light of this child’s sister; Betsey Trotwood;’ said
my aunt; ‘she marries a second time—goes and marries a
Murderer—or a man with a name like it—and stands in this child’s
light! And the natural consequence is; as anybody but a baby
might have foreseen; that he prowls and wanders。 He’s as like
Cain before he was grown up; as he can be。’
Mr。 Dick looked hard at me; as if to identify me in this
character。
‘And then there’s that woman with the Pagan name;’ said my
aunt; ‘that Peggotty; she goes and gets married next。 Because she
has not seen enough of the evil attending such things; she goes and
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gets married next; as the child relates。 I only hope;’ said my aunt;
shaking her head; ‘that her husband is one of those Poker
husbands who abound in the newspapers; and will beat her well
with one。’
I could not bear to hear my old nurse so decried; and made the
subject of such a wish。 I told my aunt that indeed she was
mistaken。 That Peggotty was the best; the truest; the most faithful;
most devoted; and most self…denying friend and servant in the
world; who had ever loved me dearly; who had ever loved my
mother dearly; who had held my mother’s dying head upon her
arm; on whose face my mother had imprinted her last grateful
kiss。 And my remembrance of them both; choking me; I broke
down as I was trying to say that her home was my home; and that
all she had was mine; and that I would have gone to her for
shelter; but for her humble station; which made me fear that I
might bring some trouble on her—I broke down; I say; as I was
trying to say so; and laid my face in my hands upon the table。
‘Well; well!’ said my aunt; ‘the child is right to stand by those
who have stood by him—Janet! Donkeys!’
I thoroughly believe that but for those unfortunate donkeys; we
should have come to a good understanding; for my aunt had laid
her hand on my shoulder; and the impulse was upon me; thus
emboldened; to embrace her and beseech her protection。 But the
interruption; and the disorder she was thrown into by the struggle
outside; put an end to all softer ideas for the present; and kept my
aunt indignantly declaiming to Mr。 Dick about her determination
to appeal for redress to the laws of her country; and to bring
actions for trespass against the whole donkey proprietorship of
Dover; until tea…time。
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After tea; we sat at the window—on the look…out; as I imagined;
from my aunt’s sharp expression of face; for more invaders—until
dusk; when Janet set candles; and a backgammon…board; on the
table; and pulled down the blinds。
‘Now; Mr。 Dick;’ said my aunt; with her grave look; and her
forefinger up as before; ‘I am going to ask you another question。
Look at this child。’
‘David’s son?’ said Mr。 Dick; with an attentive; puzzled face。
‘Exactly so;’ returned my aunt。 ‘What would you do with him;
now?’
‘Do with David’s son?’ said Mr。 Dick。
‘Ay;’ replied my aunt; ‘with David’s son。’
‘Oh!’ said Mr。 Dick。 ‘Yes。 Do with—I should put him to bed。’
‘Janet!’ cried my aunt; with the same complacent triumph that I
had remarked before。 ‘Mr。 Dick sets us all right。 If the bed is
ready; we’ll take him up to it。’
Janet reporting it to be quite ready; I was taken up to it; kindly;
but in some sort like a prisoner; my aunt going in front and Janet
bringing up the rear。 The only circumstance which gave me any
new hope; was my aunt’s stopping on the stairs to inquire about a
smell of fire that was prevalent there; and janet’s replying that she
had been making tinder down in the kitchen; of my old shirt。 But
there were no other clothes in my room than the odd heap of
things I wore; and when I was left there; with a little taper which
my aunt forewarned me would burn exactly five minutes; I heard
them lock my door on the outside。 Turning these things over in my
mind I deemed it possible that my aunt; who could know nothing
of me; might suspect I had a habit of running away; and took
precautions; on that account; to have me in safe keeping。
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The room was a pleasant one; at the top of the house;
overlooking the sea; on which the moon was shining brilliantly。
After I had said my prayers; and the candle had burnt out; I
remember how I still sat looking at the moonlight on the water; as
if I could hope to read my fortune in it; as in a bright book; or to
see my mother with her child; coming from Heaven; along that
shining path; to look upon me as she had looked when I last saw
her sweet face。 I remember how the solemn feeling with which at
length I turned my eyes away; yielded to the sensation of gratitude
and rest which the sight of the white…curtained bed—and how
much more the lying softly down upon it; nestling in the snow…
white sheets!—inspired。 I remember how I thought of all the
solitary places under the night sky where I had slept; and how I
prayed that I never might be houseless any more; and never might
forget the houseless。 I remember how I seemed to float; then;
down the melancholy glory of that track upon the sea; away into
the world of dreams。
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Chapter 14
MY AUNT MAKES UP HER MIND ABOUT ME
On going down in the morning; I found my aunt musing so
profoundly over the breakfast table; with her elbow on
the tray; that the contents of the urn had overflowed the
teapot and were laying the whole table…cloth under water; when
my entrance put her meditations to flight。 I felt sure that I had
been the subject of her reflections; and was more than ever
anxious to know her intentions towards me。 Yet I dared not
express my anxiety; lest it should give her offence。
My eyes; however; not being so much under control as my
tongue; were attracted towards my aunt very often during
breakfast。 I never could look at her for a few moments together
but I found her looking at me—in an odd thoughtful manner; as if
I were an immense way off; instead of being on the other side of
the small round table。 When she had finished her breakfast; my
aunt very deliberately leaned back in her chair; knitted her brows;
folded her arms; and contemplated me at her leisure; with such a
fixedness of attention that I was quite overpowered by
embarrassment。 Not having as yet finished my own breakfast; I
attempted to hide my confusion by proceeding with it; but my
knife tumbled over my fork; my fork tripped up my knife; I
chipped bits of bacon a surprising height into the air instead of
cutting them for my own eating; and choked myself with my tea;
which persisted in going the wrong way instead of the right one;
until I gave in altogether; and sat blushing under my aunt’s close
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scrutiny。
‘Hallo!’ said my aunt; after a long time。
I looked up; and met her sharp bright glanc