第 47 节
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mutual consent; as he had every reason to think; for I said nothing;
though my resolution was now taken。
I passed my evenings with Mr。 and Mrs。 Micawber; during the
remaining term of our residence under the same roof; and I think
we became fonder of one another as the time went on。 On the last
Sunday; they invited me to dinner; and we had a loin of pork and
apple sauce; and a pudding。 I had bought a spotted wooden horse
over…night as a parting gift to little Wilkins Micawber—that was
the boy—and a doll for little Emma。 I had also bestowed a shilling
on the Orfling; who was about to be disbanded。
We had a very pleasant day; though we were all in a tender
state about our approaching separation。
‘I shall never; Master Copperfield;’ said Mrs。 Micawber; ‘revert
to the period when Mr。 Micawber was in difficulties; without
thinking of you。 Your conduct has always been of the most delicate
and obliging description。 You have never been a lodger。 You have
been a friend。’
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David Copperfield
‘My dear;’ said Mr。 Micawber; ‘Copperfield;’ for so he had been
accustomed to call me; of late; ‘has a heart to feel for the distresses
of his fellow…creatures when they are behind a cloud; and a head
to plan; and a hand to—in short; a general ability to dispose of
such available property as could be made away with。’
I expressed my sense of this commendation; and said I was very
sorry we were going to lose one another。
‘My dear young friend;’ said Mr。 Micawber; ‘I am older than
you; a man of some experience in life; and—and of some
experience; in short; in difficulties; generally speaking。 At present;
and until something turns up (which I am; I may say; hourly
expecting); I have nothing to bestow but advice。 Still my advice is
so far worth taking; that—in short; that I have never taken it
myself; and am the’—here Mr。 Micawber; who had been beaming
and smiling; all over his head and face; up to the present moment;
checked himself and frowned—‘the miserable wretch you behold。’
‘My dear Micawber!’ urged his wife。
‘I say;’ returned Mr。 Micawber; quite forgetting himself; and
smiling again; ‘the miserable wretch you behold。 My advice is;
never do tomorrow what you can do today。 Procrastination is the
thief of time。 Collar him!’
‘My poor papa’s maxim;’ Mrs。 Micawber observed。
‘My dear;’ said Mr。 Micawber; ‘your papa was very well in his
way; and Heaven forbid that I should disparage him。 Take him for
all in all; we ne’er shall—in short; make the acquaintance;
probably; of anybody else possessing; at his time of life; the same
legs for gaiters; and able to read the same description of print;
without spectacles。 But he applied that maxim to our marriage; my
dear; and that was so far prematurely entered into; in
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David Copperfield
consequence; that I never recovered the expense。’ Mr。 Micawber
looked aside at Mrs。 Micawber; and added: ‘Not that I am sorry for
it。 Quite the contrary; my love。’ After which; he was grave for a
minute or so。
‘My other piece of advice; Copperfield;’ said Mr。 Micawber; ‘you
know。 Annual income twenty pounds; annual expenditure
nineteen nineteen and six; result happiness。 Annual income
twenty pounds; annual expenditure twenty pounds ought and six;
result misery。 The blossom is blighted; the leaf is withered; the god
of day goes down upon the dreary scene; and—and in short you
are for ever floored。 As I am!’
To make his example the more impressive; Mr。 Micawber drank
a glass of punch with an air of great enjoyment and satisfaction;
and whistled the College Hornpipe。
I did not fail to assure him that I would store these precepts in
my mind; though indeed I had no need to do so; for; at the time;
they affected me visibly。 Next morning I met the whole family at
the coach office; and saw them; with a desolate heart; take their
places outside; at the back。
‘Master Copperfield;’ said Mrs。 Micawber; ‘God bless you! I
never can forget all that; you know; and I never would if I could。’
‘Copperfield;’ said Mr。 Micawber; ‘farewell! Every happiness
and prosperity! If; in the progress of revolving years; I could
persuade myself that my blighted destiny had been a warning to
you; I should feel that I had not occupied another man’s place in
existence altogether in vain。 In case of anything turning up (of
which I am rather confident); I shall be extremely happy if it
should be in my power to improve your prospects。’
I think; as Mrs。 Micawber sat at the back of the coach; with the
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David Copperfield
children; and I stood in the road looking wistfully at them; a mist
cleared from her eyes; and she saw what a little creature I really
was。 I think so; because she beckoned to me to climb up; with
quite a new and motherly expression in her face; and put her arm
round my neck; and gave me just such a kiss as she might have
given to her own boy。 I had barely time to get down again before
the coach started; and I could hardly see the family for the
handkerchiefs they waved。 It was gone in a minute。 The Orfling
and I stood looking vacantly at each other in the middle of the
road; and then shook hands and said good…bye; she going back; I
suppose; to St。 Luke’s workhouse; as I went to begin my weary day
at Murdstone and Grinby’s。
But with no intention of passing many more weary days there。
No。 I had resolved to run away。—To go; by some means or other;
down into the country; to the only relation I had in the world; and
tell my story to my aunt; Miss Betsey。 I have already observed that
I don’t know how this desperate idea came into my brain。 But;
once there; it remained there; and hardened into a purpose than
which I have never entertained a more determined purpose in my
life。 I am far from sure that I believed there was anything hopeful
in it; but my mind was thoroughly made up that it must be carried
into execution。
Again; and again; and a hundred times again; since the night
when the thought had first occurred to me and banished sleep; I
had gone over that old story of my poor mother’s about my birth;
which it had been one of my great delights in the old time to hear
her tell; and which I knew by heart。 My aunt walked into that
story; and walked out of it; a dread and awful personage; but there
was one little trait in her behaviour which I liked to dwell on; and
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David Copperfield
which gave me some faint shadow of encouragement。 I could not
forget how my mother had thought that she felt her touch her
pretty hair with no ungentle hand; and though it might have been
altogether my mother’s fancy; and might have had no foundation
whatever in fact; I made a little picture; out of it; of my terrible
aunt relenting towards the girlish beauty that I recollected so well
and loved so much; which softened the whole narrative。 It is very
possible that it had been in my mind a long time; and had
gradually engendered my determination。
As I did not even know where Miss Betsey lived; I wrote a long
letter to Peggotty; and asked her; incidentally; if she remembered;
pretending that I had heard of such a lady living at a certain place
I named at random; and had a curiosity to know if it were the
same。 In the course of that letter; I told Peggotty that I had a
particular occasion for half a guinea; and that if she could lend me
that sum until I could repay it; I should be very much obliged to
her; and would tell her afterwards what I had wanted it for。
Peggotty’s answer soon arrived; and was; as usual; full of
affectionate devotion。 She enclosed the half guinea (I was afraid
she must have had a world of trouble to get it out of Mr。 Barkis’s
box); and told me that Miss Betsey lived near Dover; but whether
at Dover itself; at Hythe; Sandgate; or Folkestone; she could not
say。 One of our men; however; informing me on my asking him
about these places; that they were all close together; I deemed this
enough for my object; and resolved to set out at the end of that
week。
Being a very honest little creature; and unwilling to disgrace
the memory I was going to leave behind me at Murdstone and
Grinby’s; I considered myself bound to remain until Saturday
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David Copperfield
night; and; as I had been paid a week’s wages in advance when I
first came there; not to present myself in the counting…house at the
usual hour; to receive my stipend。 For this express reason; I had
borrowed the half…guinea; that I might not be without a fund for
my travelling…expenses。 Accordingly; when the Saturday night
came; and we were all waiting in the warehouse to be paid; and
Tipp the carman; who always took precedence; went in first to
draw his money; I shook Mick Walker by the hand; asked him;
when it came to his turn to be paid; to say to Mr。 Quinion that I
had gone to move my box to Tipp’s; and; bidding a last g