第 113 节
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连过十一人 更新:2021-05-03 16:36 字数:9322
spoke of with the greatest nonchalance。 Her ears tingled sometimes at his frankness in disposing of a social situation; but she thought this must be characteristic of notable men; and so there was nothing to be said about it。 Certain men did as they pleased; society did not seem to be able to deal with them in any way。 Perhaps God would; latershe was not sure。 Anyhow; bad as he was; direct as he was; forceful as he was; he was far more interesting than most of the more conservative types in whom the social virtues of polite speech and modest thoughts were seemingly predominate。
〃I know;〃 she said; rather peacefully; although with a touch of anger and resentment in her voice。 〃I've known all about it all this time。 I expected you would say something like this to me some day。 It's a nice reward for all my devotion to you; but it's just like you; Frank。 When you are set on something; nothing can stop you。 It wasn't enough that you were getting along so nicely and had two children whom you ought to love; but you had to take up with this Butler creature until her name and yours are a by…word throughout the city。 I know that she comes to this prison。 I saw her out here one day as I was coming in; and I suppose every one else knows it by now。 She has no sense of decency and she does not carethe wretched; vain thingbut I would have thought that you would be ashamed; Frank; to go on the way that you have; when you still have me and the children and your father and mother and when you are certain to have such a hard fight to get yourself on your feet; as it is。 If she had any sense of decency she would not have anything to do with youthe shameless thing。〃
Cowperwood looked at his wife with unflinching eyes。 He read in her remarks just what his observation had long since confirmed that she was sympathetically out of touch with him。 She was no longer so attractive physically; and intellectually she was not Aileen's equal。 Also that contact with those women who had deigned to grace his home in his greatest hour of prosperity had proved to him conclusively she was lacking in certain social graces。 Aileen was by no means so vastly better; still she was young and amenable and adaptable; and could still be improved。 Opportunity as he now chose to think; might make Aileen; whereas for Lillian or at least; as he now saw itit could do nothing。
〃I'll tell you how it is; Lillian;〃 he said; 〃I'm not sure that you are going to get what I mean exactly; but you and I are not at all well suited to each other any more。〃
〃You didn't seem to think that three or four years ago;〃 interrupted his wife; bitterly。
〃I married you when I was twenty…one;〃 went on Cowperwood; quite brutally; not paying any attention to her interruption; 〃and I was really too young to know what I was doing。 I was a mere boy。 It doesn't make so much difference about that。 I am not using that as an excuse。 The point that I am trying to make is this that right or wrong; important or not important; I have changed my mind since。 I don't love you any more; and I don't feel that I want to keep up a relationship; however it may look to the public; that is not satisfactory to me。 You have one point of view about life; and I have another。 You think your point of view is the right one; and there are thousands of people who will agree with you; but I don't think so。 We have never quarreled about these things; because I didn't think it was important to quarrel about them。 I don't see under the circumstances that I am doing you any great injustice when I ask you to let me go。 I don't intend to desert you or the childrenyou will get a good living…income from me as long as I have the money to give it to youbut I want my personal freedom when I come out of here; if ever I do; and I want you to let me have it。 The money that you had and a great deal more; once I am out of here; you will get back when I am on my feet again。 But not if you oppose meonly if you help me。 I want; and intend to help you alwaysbut in my way。〃
He smoothed the leg of his prison trousers in a thoughtful way; and plucked at the sleeve of his coat。 Just now he looked very much like a highly intelligent workman as he sat here; rather than like the important personage that he was。 Mrs。 Cowperwood was very resentful。
〃That's a nice way to talk to me; and a nice way to treat me!〃 she exclaimed dramatically; rising and walking the short space some two stepsthat lay between the wall and the bed。 〃I might have known that you were too young to know your own mind when you married me。 Money; of course; that's all you think of and your own gratification。 I don't believe you have any sense of justice in you。 I don't believe you ever had。 You only think of yourself; Frank。 I never saw such a man as you。 You have treated me like a dog all through this affair; and all the while you have been running with that little snip of an Irish thing; and telling her all about your affairs; I suppose。 You let me go on believing that you cared for me up to the last moment; and then you suddenly step up and tell me that you want a divorce。 I'll not do it。 I'll not give you a divorce; and you needn't think it。〃
Cowperwood listened in silence。 His position; in so far as this marital tangle was concerned; as he saw; was very advantageous。 He was a convict; constrained by the exigencies of his position to be out of personal contact with his wife for a long period of time to come; which should naturally tend to school her to do without him。 When he came out; it would be very easy for her to get a divorce from a convict; particularly if she could allege misconduct with another woman; which he would not deny。 At the same time; he hoped to keep Aileen's name out of it。 Mrs。 Cowperwood; if she would; could give any false name if he made no contest。 Besides; she was not a very strong person; intellectually speaking。 He could bend her to his will。 There was no need of saying much more now; the ice had been broken; the situation had been put before her; and time should do the rest。
〃Don't be dramatic; Lillian;〃 he commented; indifferently。 〃I'm not such a loss to you if you have enough to live on。 I don't think I want to live in Philadelphia if ever I come out of here。 My idea now is to go west; and I think I want to go alone。 I sha'n't get married right away again even if you do give me a divorce。 I don't care to take anybody along。 It would be better for the children if you would stay here and divorce me。 The public would think better of them and you。〃
〃I'll not do it;〃 declared Mrs。 Cowperwood; emphatically。 〃I'll never do it; never; so there! You can say what you choose。 You owe it to me to stick by me and the children after all I've done for you; and I'll not do it。 You needn't ask me any more; I'll not do it。〃
〃Very well;〃 replied Cowperwood; quietly; getting up。 〃We needn't talk about it any more now。 Your time is nearly up; anyhow。〃 (Twenty minutes was supposed to be the regular allotment for visitors。) 〃Perhaps you'll change your mind sometime。〃
She gathered up her muff and the shawl…strap in which she had carried her gifts; and turned to go。 It had been her custom to kiss Cowperwood in a make…believe way up to this time; but now she was too angry to make this pretense。 And yet she was sorry; too sorry for herself and; she thought; for him。
〃Frank;〃 she declared; dramatically; at the last moment; 〃I never saw such a man as you。 I don't believe you have any heart。 You're not worthy of a good wife。 You're worthy of just such a woman as you're getting。 The idea!〃 Suddenly tears came to her eyes; and she flounced scornfully and yet sorrowfully out。
Cowperwood stood there。 At least there would be no more useless kissing between them; he congratulated himself。 It was hard in a way; but purely from an emotional point of view。 He was not doing her any essential injustice; he reasonednot an economic onewhich was the important thing。 She was angry to…day; but she would get over it; and in time might come to see his point of view。 Who could tell? At any rate he had made it plain to her what he intended to do and that was something as he saw it。 He reminded one of nothing so much; as he stood there; as of a young chicken picking its way out of the shell of an old estate。 Although he was in a cell of a penitentiary; with nearly four years more to serve; yet obviously he felt; within himself; that the whole world was still before him。 He could go west if he could not reestablish himself in Philadelphia; but he must stay here long enough to win the approval of those who had known him formerly to obtain; as it were; a letter of credit which he could carry to other parts。
〃Hard words break no bones;〃 he said to himself; as his wife went out。 〃A man's never done till he's done。 I'll show some of these people yet。〃 Of Bonhag; who came to close the cell door; he asked whether it was going to rain; it looked so dark in the hall。
〃It's sure to before night;〃 replied Bonhag; who was always wondering over Cowperwood's tangled affairs as he heard them retailed here and there。
Chapter LVII
The time that Cowperwood spent in the Eastern Penitentiary of Penn