I　like　you　because　I　am　like　you。
  I　believe　in　you　because　I　believe　in　myself。　We　are　all　one　family。　I　believe　in　your　Inside；　not　in　your　Outside；　whoever　you　are；　whatever　you　are；　wherever　you　are。
  I　believe　in　the　Angel　of　Good　inside　every　block　of　human　marble。　I　believe　it　must　be　carved　out　in　The　University　of　Hard　Knocks。
  I　believe　all　this　pride；　vanity；　selfishness；　self…righteousness；　hypocrisy　and　human　frailty　are　the　Outside　that　must　be　chipped　away。
  I　believe　the　Hard　Knocks　cannot　injure　the　Angel；　but　can　only　reveal　it。
  I　hope　you　are　getting　your　Hard　Knocks。
  I　care　little　about　your　glorious　or　inglorious　past。　I　care　little　about　your　present。　I　care　much　about　your　future　for　that　is　to　see　more　of　the　Angel　in　you。
  The　University　of　Hard　Knocks
  Chapter　I
  The　Books　Are　Bumps
  THE　greatest　school　is　the　University　of　Hard　Knocks。　Its　books　are　bumps。
  Every　bump　is　a　lesson。　If　we　learn　the　lesson　with　one　bump；　we　do　not　get　that　bump　again。　We　do　not　need　it。　We　have　traveled　past　it。　They　do　not　waste　the　bumps。　We　get　promoted　to　the　next　bump。
  But　if　we　are　〃naturally　bright；〃　or　there　is　something　else　the　matter　with　us；　so　that　we　do　not　learn　the　lesson　of　the　bump　we　have　just　gotten；　then　that　bump　must　come　back　and　bump　us　again。
  Some　of　us　learn　to　go　forward　with　a　few　bumps；　but　most　of　us　are　〃naturally　bright〃　and　have　to　be　pulverized。
  The　tuition　in　the　University　of　Hard　Knocks　is　not　free。　Experience　is　the　dearest　teacher　in　the　world。　Most　of　us　spend　our　lives　in　the　A…B…C's　of　getting　started。
  We　matriculate　in　the　cradle。
  We　never　graduate。　When　we　stop　learning　we　are　due　for　another　bump。
  There　are　two　kinds　of　peoplewise　people　and　fools。　The　fools　are　the　people　who　think　they　have　graduated。
  The　playground　is　all　of　God's　universe。
  The　university　colors　are　black　and　blue。
  The　yell　is　〃ouch〃　repeated　ad　lib。
  The　Need　of　the　Bumps
  When　I　was　thirteen　I　knew　a　great　deal　more　than　I　do　now。　There　was　a　sentence　in　my　grammar　that　disgusted　me。　It　was　by　some　foreigner　I　had　never　met。　His　name　was　Shakespeare。　It　was　this：
  〃Sweet　are　the　uses　of　adversity；　Which；　like　the　toad；　ugly　and　venomous；　Wears　yet　a　priceless　jewel　in　its　head；　And　thus　our　life；　exempt　from　public　haunt；　Finds　tongues　in　trees；　books　in　running　brooks；　Sermons　in　stones；　and　good　in　everything。〃
  〃Tongues　in　trees；〃　I　thought。　〃Trees　can't　talk！　That　man　is　crazy。　Books　in　running　brooks！　Why　nobody　never　puts　no　books　in　no　running　brooks。　They'd　get　wet。　And　that　sermons　in　stones！　They　get　preachers　to　preach　sermons；　and　they　build　houses　out　of　stones。〃
  I　was　sorry　for　Shakespearewhen　I　was　thirteen。
  But　I　am　happy　today　that　I　have　traveled　a　little　farther。　I　am　happy　that　I　have　begun　to　learn　the　lessons　from　the　bumps。　I　am　happy　that　I　am　learning　the　sweet　tho　painful　lessons　of　the　University　of　Adversity。　I　am　happy　that　I　am　beginning　to　listen。　For　as　I　learn　to　listen；　I　hear　every　tree　speaking；　every　stone　preaching　and　every　running　brook　the　unfolding　of　a　book。
  Children；　I　fear　you　will　not　be　greatly　interested　in　what　is　to　follow。　Perhaps　you　are　〃naturally　bright〃　and　feel　sorry　for　Shakespeare。
  I　was　not　interested　when　father　and　mother　told　me　these　things。　I　knew　they　meant　all　right；　but　the　world　had　moved　since　they　were　young；　and　now　two　and　two　made　seven；　because　we　lived　so　much　faster。
  It　is　so　hard　to　tell　young　people　anything。　They　know　better。　So　they　have　to　get　bumped　just　where　we　got　bumped；　to　learn　that　two　and　two　always　makes　four；　and　〃whatsoever　a　man　soweth；　that　shall　he　also　reap。〃
  But　if　you　will　remember　some　of　these　things；　they　will　feel　like　poultices　by　and　by　when　the　bumps　come。
  The　Two　Colleges
  As　we　get　bumped　and　battered　on　life's　pathway；　we　discover　we　get　two　kinds　of　bumpsbumps　that　we　need　and　bumps　that　we　do　not　need。
  Bumps　that　we　bump　into　and　bumps　that　bump　into　us。
  We　discover；　in　other　words；　that　The　University　of　Hard　Knocks　has　two　collegesThe　College　of　Needless　Knocks　and　The　College　of　Needful　Knocks。
  We　attend　both　colleges。
  Chapter　II
  The　College　of　Needless　Knocks
  The　Bumps　That　We　Bump　Into
  NEARLY　all　the　bumps　we　get　are　Needless　Knocks。
  There　comes　a　vivid　memory　of　one　of　my　early　Needless　Knocks　as　I　say　that。　It　was　back　at　the　time　when　I　was　trying　to　run　our　home　to　suit　myself。　I　sat　in　the　highest　chair　in　the　family　circle。　I　was　three　years　old　and　ready　to　graduate。
  That　day　they　had　the　little　joy　and　sunshine　of　the　family　in　his　high…chair　throne　right　up　beside　the　dinner　table。　The　coffee…pot　was　within　grabbing　distance。
  I　became　enamored　with　that　coffee…pot。　I　decided　I　needed　that　coffee…pot　in　my　business。　I　reached　over　to　get　the　coffee…pot。　Then　I　discovered　a　woman　beside　me；　my　mother。　She　was　the　most　meddlesome　woman　I　had　ever　known。　I　had　not　tried　to　do　one　thing　in　three　years　that　that　woman　had　not　meddled　into。
  And　that　day　when　I　wanted　the　coffee…potI　did　want　it。　Nobody　knows　how　I　desired　that　coffee…pot。　〃One　thing　thou　lackest；〃　a　coffee…pot　I　was　reaching　over　to　get　it；　that　woman　said；　〃Don't　touch　that！〃
  The　longer　I　thought　about　it　the　more　angry　I　became。　What　right　has　that　woman　to　meddle　into　my　affairs　all　the　time？　I　have　stood　this　petticoat　tyranny　three　years；　and　it　is　time　to　stop　it！
  I　stopped　it。　I　got　the　coffee…pot。　I　know　I　got　the　coffee…pot。　I　got　it　unanimously。　I　know　when　I　got　it　and　I　also　know　where　I　got　it。　I　got　about　a　gallon　of　the　reddest；　hottest　coffee　a　bad　boy　ever　spilled　over　himself。
  O…o…o…o…o…o！　I　can　feel　it　yet！
  There　were　weeks　after　that　when　I　was　upholstered。　They　put　applebutter　on　meand　coal　oil　and　white…of…an…egg　and　starch　and　anything　else　the　neighbors　could　think　of。　They　would　bring　it　over　and　rub　it　on　the　little　joy　and　sunshine　of　the　family；　who　had　gotten　temporarily　eclipsed。
  Teaching　a　Wilful　Child
  You　see；　my　mother's　way　was　to　tell　me　and　then　let　me　do　as　I　pleased。　She　told　me　not　to　get　the　coffee…pot　and　then　let　me　get　it；　knowing　that　it　would　burn　me。　She　would　say；　〃Don't。〃　Then　she　would　go　on　with　her　knitting　and　let　me　do　as　I　pleased。
  Why　don't　mothers　knit　today？
  Mother　would　say；　〃Don't　fall　in　the　well。〃　I　could　go　and　jump　in　the　well　after　that　and　she　would　not　look　at　me。　I　do　not　argue　that　this　is　the　way　to　raise　children；　but　I　insist　that　this　was　the　most　kind　and　effective　way　to　rear　one　stubborn　boy　I　know　of。　The　neighbors　and　the　ladies'　aid　society　often　said　my　mother　was　cruel　with　that　angel　child。　But　the　neighbors　did　not　know　what　kind　of　an　insect　mother　was　trying　to　raise。　Mother　did　know。　She　knew　how　stubborn　and　self…willed　I　was。　It　came　from　father's　〃side　of　the　house。〃
  Mother　knew　that　to　argue　with　me　was　to　flatter　me。　Tell　me；　serve　notice　upon　me；　and　then　let　me　go　ahead　and　get　my　coffee…pot。　That　was　the　quickest　and　kindest　way　to　teach　me。
  I　learned　very　quickly　that　if　I　did　not　hear　mother；　and　heed；　a　coffee…pot　would　spill　upon　me。　I　cannot　remember　when　I　disobeyed　my　mother　that　a　coffee…pot　of　some　kind　did　not　spill　upon　me；　and　I　got　my　blisters。　Mother　did　not　inflict　them。　Mother　was　not　much　of　an　inflicter。　Father　attended　to　that　in　the　laboratory　behind　the　parsonage。
  〃Stop；　Look；　Listen〃
  And　thru　the　bumps　we　learn　that　The　College　of　Needless　Knocks　runs　on　the　same　plan。　The　Voice　of　Wisdom　says　to　each　of　us；　〃Child　of　humanity；　do　right；　walk　in　the　right　path。　You　will　be　wiser　and　happier。〃　The　tongues　in　the　trees；　the　books　in　the　running　brooks　and　the　sermons　in　the　stones　all　repeat　it。
  But　we　are　not　compelled　to　walk　in　the　right　path。　We　are　free　im…moral　agents。
  We　get　off　the　right　path。　We　go　down　forbidden　paths。　They　seem　easier　and　more　attractive。　It　is　so　easy　to　go　downward。　We　slide　downward；　but　we　have　to　make　effort　to　go　upward。
  Anything　that　goes　downward　will　run　itself。　Anything　that　goes　upward　has　to　be　pushed。
  And　going　down　the　wrong　path；　we　get　bumped　harder　and　harder　until　we　listen。
  We　are　lucky　if　we　learn　the　lesson　with　one　bump。　We　are　unlucky　when　we　get　bumped　twice　in　the　same　place；　for　it　means　we　are　making　no　progress。
  When　we　are　bumped；　we　should　〃stop；　look；　listen。〃　〃Safety　first！〃
  One　time　I　paid　a　seeress　two　dollars　to　look　into　my　honest　palm。　She　said；　〃It　hain't　your　fault。　You　wasn't　born　right。　You　was　born　under　an　unlucky　star。〃　You　don't　know　how　that　comforted　me。　It　wasn't　my　faultall　my　bumps　and　coffee…pots！　I　was　just　unlucky　and　it　had　to　be。
  How　I　had　to　be　bumped　to　learn　better！　Now　when　I　get　bumped　I　try　to　learn　the　lesson　of　the　bump　and　find　the　right　path；　so　that　when　I　see　that　bump　coming　again　I　can　say；　〃Excuse　me；　it　hath　a　familiar　look；〃　and　dodge　it。
  The　seeress　is　the　soothing　syrup　for　mental　infants。
  Blind　Man's　Fine　Sight
  The　other　day　I　watched　a　blind　man　go　down　the　aisle　of　the　car　to　get　off　the　train。　Did　you　ever　study　the　walk　of　a　blind　man？　He　〃pussyfooted〃　it　al