第 10 节
作者:辩论      更新:2021-04-30 17:09      字数:9322
  〃Human!〃  He glanced at her and instantly glanced away。
  〃Do leave that window;〃 she begged。  〃We must get the Vergil now。  I'm reading an essay at the society to…nightthey've fined me twice for neglecting it。  But if you stand there reminding me of what's going on outside I'll not be able to resist。〃
  〃How this would look from Indian Rock!〃
  She flung open a Vergil text…book with a relentless shake of the head。  〃I've got the place。  Book three; line two forty…five
  〃‘Una in praecelsa consedit rupe Celaeno' 〃
  〃It doesn't matter what that hideous old Harpy howled at the pious Aeneas;〃 he grumbled。  〃Let's  go out and watch the Great God Pan dedicate his brand…new temple。〃
  〃Do sit there!〃  She pointed a slim white forefinger at the chair at the opposite side of the tablethe side nearer him。  〃I'll be generous and work the dictionary to…day。〃  And she opened a fat; black; dull…looking book beside the Vergil。
  〃Where's the Johnnie?〃 he asked; reluctantly dropping into the chair。
  She laid Dryden's translation of the Aeneid on his side of the table。  They always read the poetical version before they began to translate for the class…roomDryden was near enough to the original to give them its spirit; far enough to quiet their consciences。  〃Find the place yourself;〃 said she。  〃I'm not going to do everything。〃
  He opened the Dryden and languidly turned the pages。  〃‘At length rebuff'd; they leave their mangled' 〃 he began。
  〃Notwo or three lines farther down;〃 she interrupted。  〃That was in the last lesson。〃
  He pushed back the rebellious lock that insisted on falling down the middle of his forehead; plunged his elbows fiercely upon the table; put his fists against his temples; and began again:
  〃‘High on a craggy cliff Celaeno sate             And thus her dismal errand did relate'
  Have you got the place in the Latin?〃 he interrupted himself。
  Fortunately he did not look up; for she was watching the waving boughs。  〃Yes;〃 she replied; hastily returning to the book。  〃You do your part and I'll do mine。〃
  He read a few lines in an absent…minded sing…song; then interrupted himself once more:  〃Did you ever smell anything like that breeze?〃
  〃Never。  ‘Bellum etiam pro caede bovum'go onI'm listeningor trying to。〃
  He read:
  〃‘But know that ere your promised walls you build;   My curse shall severely be fulfilled。    Fierce famine is your lotfor this misdeed;    Reduced to grind the plates on which you feed。' 〃
  He glanced at her。  She was leaning on her elbow; obviously weaving day…dreams round those boughs as they trembled with the ecstasy of spring。
  〃You are happy to…day?〃 he said。
  〃Yeshappier than I have been for a year。〃  She smiled mysteriously。  〃I've had good news。〃  She turned abruptly; looked him in the eyes with that frank; clear expressionhis favorite among his memory…pictures of her had it。  〃There's one thing that worries meit's never off my mind longer than a few minutes。  And when I'm blue; as I usually am on rainy days; it makes mehorribly uncomfortable。  I've often almost asked your advice about it。〃
  〃If you'd be sorry afterward that you told me;〃 said he; 〃I hope you won't。  But if I can help you; you know how glad I'd be。〃
  〃It's no use to tell Olivia;〃 Pauline went on。  〃She's bitterly prejudiced。  But ever since the first month I knew you; I felt that I could trust you; that you were a real friend。  And you're so fair in judging people and things。〃
  His eyes twinkled。
  〃I'm afraid I'd tilt the scalesjust a littlewhere you were concerned。〃
  〃Oh; I want you to do that;〃 she answered with a smile。  〃Last fall I did somethingwell; it was foolish; though I wouldn't admit that to any one else。  I was carried away by an impulse。  Not that I regret。  In the only really important way; I wouldn't undo it if I couldI think。〃  Those last two words came absently; as if she were debating the matter with herself。
  〃If it's done and can't be undone;〃 he said cheerfully; 〃I don't see that advice is needed。〃
  〃Butyou don't understand。〃  She seemed to be casting about for words。  〃As I said; it was last fallhere。  In Saint X there was a manand he and Iwe'd cared for each other ever since we were children。  And then he went away to college。  He did several things father didn't like。  You know how older people arethey don't make allowances。  And though father's the gentlest; bestat any rate; he turned against Jack; and〃
  Scarborough abruptly went to the window and stood with his back to her。
  After a pause Pauline said; in a rush; 〃And he came here last fall and we got married。〃
  There was a long silence。
  〃It was DREADFUL; wasn't it?〃 she said in the tone of one who has just made a shocking discovery。
  Scarborough did not answer。
  〃I never realized till this minute;〃 she went on after a while。  〃Not that I'm sorry or that I don'tdon't CAREjust as I always did。  But somehow; telling it out loud to some one else has made me see it in a different light。  It didn't seem like treachery to themto father and motherthen。  It hasn't seemed like aa marriage REALLY marriageuntil now。〃
  Another long silence。  Then she burst out appealingly:  〃Oh; I don't see how I'm ever going to tell them!〃
  Scarborough came back to his chair and seated himself。  His face was curiously white。  It was in an unnatural voice that he said:  〃How old is he?〃
  〃Twenty…five;〃 she replied; then instantly flared up; as if he had attacked Dumont:  〃But it wasn't his faultnot in the least。  I knew what I was doingand I wanted to do it。  You mustn't get a false impression of him; Hampden。  You'd admire and respect him。  Youany onewould have done as he did in the same circumstances。〃  She blushed slightly。  〃You and he are ever so much alikeeven in looks。  It was that that made me tell you; that made me like you as I haveand trust you。〃
  Scarborough winced。  Presently he began:  〃Yet you regret〃       〃Nono!〃 she protestedtoo vehemently。  〃I do NOT regret marrying him。  That was certain to be sooner or later。  All I regret is that I did something that seems underhanded。  Perhaps I'm really only sorry I didn't tell them as soon as I'd done it。〃
  She waited until she saw he was not going to speak。 〃And now;〃 she said; 〃I don't know HOW to tell them。〃  Again she waited; but he did not speak; continued to look steadily out into the sky。  〃What do you think?〃 she asked nervously。  〃But I can see without your saying。  Only Iwish you'd SAY it。〃
  〃No; I don't condemn you;〃 he said slowly。  〃I know you。  YOU couldn't possibly do anything underhanded。  If you'd been where you'd have had to conceal it directly; face to face; from some one who had the right to knowyou'd never have done it。〃  He rested his arms on the table and looked straight at her。  〃I feel I must tell you what I think。  And I feel; too; it wouldn't be fair and honest if I didn't let you see why you might not want to take my advice。〃
  She returned his gaze inquiringly。
  〃I love you;〃 he went on calmly。  〃I've known it ever since I missed you so at the Christmas holidays。  I love you for what you are; and for what you're as certain to be asas a rosebud is certain to be a full…blown rose。  I love you as my father loved my mother。  I shall love you always。〃  His manner was calm; matter…of…fact; but there was in his musical; magical voice a certain quality which set her nerves and her blood suddenly to vibrating。  She felt as if she were struggling in a great seathe sea of his love for herstruggling to reach the safety of the shore。
  〃OhI WISH you hadn't told me!〃 she exclaimed。
  〃Suppose I hadn't; suppose you had taken my advice?  No〃he shook his head slowly〃I couldn't do that; Paulinenot even to win you。〃
  〃I'm sorry I said anything to you about it。〃
  〃You needn't be。  You haven't harmed yourself。  And maybe I can help you。〃
  〃Nowe won't talk of it;〃 she saidshe was pressing her hand on her bosom where she could feel her wedding ring。  〃It wouldn't be right; now。  I don't wish your advice。〃
  〃But I must give it。  I'm years and years older than youmany; many years more than the six between us。  And〃
  〃I don't wish to hear。〃
  〃For his sake; for your own sake; Pauline; tell them!  And they'll surely help you to wait till you're older before you do anythingirrevocable。〃
  〃But I care for him;〃 she saidangrily; though it could not have been what he was saying so gently that angered her。  〃You forget that I care for him。  It IS irrevocable now。  And I'm glad it is!〃
  〃You LIKE him。  You don't LOVE him。  Andhe's not worthy of your love。  I'm sure it isn't prejudice that makes me say it。  If he were; he'd have waited〃
  She was on her feet; her eyes blazing。
  〃I asked for advice; not a lecture。  I DESPISE you!  Attacking the man I love and behind his back!  I wish to be alone。〃
  He rose but met her look without flinching。
  〃You can send ME away;〃 he said gently; 〃but you can't send away my words。  And if they're true you'll feel them when you get over your anger。  You'll do what you think right。  Butbe SURE; Pauline。  Be SURE!〃  In his eyes there was a lookthe secret altar with the never…to…be…extinguished flame upon it。  〃Be SURE!; Pauline。 Be SURE。〃
  Her anger fell; she sank; forlorn; in