第 37 节
作者:
冬恋 更新:2021-04-30 17:00 字数:9322
her own was bound up so closely; but rather away from them。 She had
been taught to despise them because they were not so white as she was;
and had been slaves while she was free。 Her life in her brother's home;
by removing her from immediate contact with them; had given her a
different point of view;one which emphasized their shortcomings; and
thereby made vastly clearer to her the gulf that separated them from the
new world in which she lived; so that when misfortune threw her back
upon them; the reaction brought her nearer than before。 Where once she
had seemed able to escape from them; they were now; it appeared; her
inalienable race。 Thus doubly equipped; she was able to view them at
once with the mental eye of an outsider and the sympathy of a sister: she
could see their faults; and judge them charitably; she knew and
appreciated their good qualities。 With her quickened intelligence she
could perceive how great was their need and how small their opportunity;
and with this illumination came the desire to contribute to their help。 She
had not the breadth or culture to see in all its ramifications the great
problem which still puzzles statesmen and philosophers; but she was
conscious of the wish; and of the power; in a small way; to do something
for the advancement of those who had just set their feet upon the ladder of
progress。
This new…born desire to be of service to her rediscovered people was
not long without an opportunity for expression。 Yet the Fates willed that
her future should be but another link in a connected chain: she was to be
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as powerless to put aside her recent past as she had been to escape from
the influence of her earlier life。 There are sordid souls that eat and drink
and breed and die; and imagine they have lived。 But Rena's life since her
great awakening had been that of the emotions; and her temperament made
of it a continuous life。 Her successive states of consciousness were not
detachable; but united to form a single if not an entirely harmonious whole。
To her sensitive spirit to…day was born of yesterday; to…morrow would be
but the offspring of to day。
One day; along toward noon; her mother received a visit from Mary B。
Pettifoot; a second cousin; who lived on Back Street; only a short distance
from the house behind the cedars。 Rena had gone out; so that the visitor
found Mis' Molly alone。
〃I heared you say; Cousin Molly;〃 said Mary B。 (no one ever knew
what the B。 in Mary's name stood for;it was a mere ornamental flourish);
〃that Rena was talkin' 'bout teachin' school。 I've got a good chance fer
her; ef she keers ter take it。 My cousin Jeff Wain 'rived in town this
mo'nin'; f'm 'way down in Sampson County; ter git a teacher fer the nigger
school in his deestric'。 I s'pose he mought 'a' got one f'm 'roun' Newbern;
er Goldsboro; er some er them places eas'; but he 'lowed he'd like to visit
some er his kin an' ole frien's; an' so kill two birds with one stone。〃
〃I seed a strange mulatter man; with a bay hoss an' a new buggy;
drivin' by here this mo'nin' early; from down to'ds the river;〃 rejoined Mis'
Molly。 〃I wonder if that wuz him?〃
〃Did he have on a linen duster?〃 asked Mary B。
〃Yas; an' 'peared to be a very well sot up man;〃 replied Mis' Molly; 〃
'bout thirty…five years old; I should reckon。〃
〃That wuz him;〃 assented Mary B。 〃He's got a fine hoss an' buggy;
an' a gol' watch an' chain; an' a big plantation; an' lots er hosses an' mules
an' cows an' hawgs。 He raise' fifty bales er cotton las' year; an' he's be'n
ter the legislatur'。〃
〃 My gracious!〃 exclaimed Mis' Molly; struck with awe at this
catalogue of the stranger's possessions he was evidently worth more than
a great many 〃rich〃 white people;all white people in North Carolina in
those days were either 〃rich〃 or 〃poor;〃 the distinction being one of caste
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rather than of wealth。 〃Is he married?〃 she inquired with interest?
〃No;single。 You mought 'low it was quare that he should n' be
married at his age; but he was crossed in love oncet;〃Mary B。 heaved a
self…conscious sigh;〃an' has stayed single ever sence。 That wuz ten
years ago; but as some husban's is long…lived; an' there ain' no mo' chance
fer 'im now than there wuz then; I reckon some nice gal mought stan' a
good show er ketchin' 'im; ef she'd play her kyards right。〃
To Mis' Molly this was news of considerable importance。 She had
not thought a great deal of Rena's plan to teach; she considered it lowering
for Rena; after having been white; to go among the negroes any more than
was unavoidable。 This opportunity; however; meant more than mere
employment for her daughter。 She had felt Rena's disappointment keenly;
from the practical point of view; and; blaming herself for it; held herself all
the more bound to retrieve the misfortune in any possible way。 If she had
not been sick; Rena would not have dreamed the fateful dream that had
brought her to Patesville; for the connection between the vision and the
reality was even closer in Mis' Molly's eyes than in Rena's。 If the mother
had not sent the letter announcing her illness and confirming the dream;
Rena would not have ruined her promising future by coming to Patesville。
But the harm had been done; and she was responsible; ignorantly of course;
but none the less truly; and it only remained for her to make amends; as far
as possible。 Her highest ambition; since Rena had grown up; had been to
see her married and comfortably settled in life。 She had no hope that
Tryon would come back。 Rena had declared that she would make no
further effort to get away from her people; and; furthermore; that she
would never marry。 To this latter statement Mis' Molly secretly attached
but little importance。 That a woman should go single from the cradle to
the grave did not accord with her experience in life of the customs of
North Carolina。 She respected a grief she could not entirely fathom; yet
did not for a moment believe that Rena would remain unmarried。
〃You'd better fetch him roun' to see me; Ma'y B。;〃 she said; 〃an' let's
see what he looks like。 I'm pertic'lar 'bout my gal。 She says she ain't
goin' to marry nobody; but of co'se we know that's all foolishness。〃
〃I'll fetch him roun' this evenin' 'bout three o'clock;〃 said the visitor;
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rising。 〃I mus' hurry back now an' keep him comp'ny。 Tell Rena ter put
on her bes' bib an' tucker; for Mr。 Wain is pertic'lar too; an' I've already
be'n braggin' 'bout her looks。〃
When Mary B。; at the appointed hour; knocked at Mis' Molly's front
door;the visit being one of ceremony; she had taken her cousin round to
the Front Street entrance and through the flower garden;Mis' Molly was
prepared to receive them。 After a decent interval; long enough to suggest
that she had not been watching their approach and was not over…eager
about the visit; she answered the knock and admitted them into the parlor。
Mr。 Wain was formally introduced; and seated himself on the ancient
haircloth sofa; under the framed fashion…plate; while Mary B。 sat by the
open door and fanned herself with a palm…leaf fan。
Mis' Molly's impression of Wain was favorable。 His complexion was
of a light brownnot quite so fair as Mis' Molly would have preferred; but
any deficiency in this regard; or in the matter of the stranger's features;
which; while not unpleasing; leaned toward the broad mulatto type; was
more than compensated in her eyes by very straight black hair; and; as
soon appeared; a great facility of complimentary speech