score。　　It　had　seemed　to　me　on　Sunday　evening　that　he　took　a
  definite　leave；　and　for　this　reason　the　news　gave　me　a
  disagreeable　surprise。　　I　read　the　letter　again。　There　was
  something　tender　and　timid　about　it。　It　produced　an　extremely
  painful　impression　upon　me。　　My　heart　swelled；　and　the　mad　beast
  of　jealousy　began　to　roar　in　his　lair；　and　seemed　to　want　to　leap
  upon　his　prey。　　But　I　was　afraid　of　this　beast；　and　I　imposed
  silence　upon　it。
  〃What　an　abominable　sentiment　is　jealousy！　'What　could　be　more
  natural　than　what　she　has　written？'　said　I　to　myself。　　I　went　to
  bed；　thinking　myself　tranquil　again。　　I　thought　of　the　business
  that　remained　to　be　done；　and　I　went　to　sleep　without　thinking　of
  her。
  〃During　these　assemblies　of　the　Zemstvo　I　always　slept　badly　in
  my　strange　quarters。　　That　night　I　went　to　sleep　directly；　but；
  as　sometimes　happens；　a　sort　of　sudden　shock　awoke　me。　　I　thought
  immediately　of　her；　of　my　physical　love　for　her；　of
  Troukhatchevsky；　and　that　between　them　everything　had　happened。
  And　a　feeling　of　rage　compressed　my　heart；　and　I　tried　to　quiet
  myself。
  〃'How　stupid！'　said　I　to　myself；　'there　is　no　reason；　none　at
  all。　　And　why　humiliate　ourselves；　herself　and　myself；　and
  especially　myself；　by　supposing　such　horrors？　　This　mercenary
  violinist；　known　as　a　bad　man；shall　I　think　of　him　in
  connection　with　a　respectable　woman；　the　mother　of　a　family；　MY
  wife？　　How　silly！'　　But　on　the　other　hand；　I　said　to　myself：　'Why
  should　it　not　happen？'
  〃Why？　　Was　it　not　the　same　simple　and　intelligible　feeling　in　the
  name　of　which　I　married；　in　the　name　of　which　I　was　living　with
  her；　the　only　thing　I　wanted　of　her；　and　that　which；
  consequently；　others　desired；　this　musician　among　the　rest？　　He
  was　not　married；　was　in　good　health　（I　remember　how　his　teeth
  ground　the　gristle　of　the　cutlets；　and　how　eagerly　he　emptied　the
  glass　of　wine　with　his　red　lips）；　was　careful　of　his　person；　well
  fed；　　and　not　only　without　principles；　but　evidently　with　the
  principle　that　one　should　take　advantage　of　the　pleasure　that
  offers　itself。　　There　was　a　bond　between　them；　music；the　most
  refined　form　of　sensual　voluptuousness。　　What　was　there　to
  restrain　them？　　Nothing。　　Everything；　on　the　contrary；　attracted
  them。　　And　she；　she　had　been　and　had　remained　a　mystery。　I　did
  not　know　her。　　I　knew　her　only　as　an　animal；　and　an　animal
  nothing　can　or　should　restrain。　　And　now　I　remember　their　faces
  on　Sunday　evening；　when；　after　the　'Kreutzer　Sonata；'　they　played
  a　passionate　piece；　written　I　know　not　by　whom；　but　a　piece
  passionate　to　the　point　of　obscenity。
  〃'How　could　I　have　gone　away？'　said　I　to　myself；　as　I　recalled
  their　faces。　　'Was　it　not　clear　that　between　them　everything　was
  done　that　evening？　　Was　it　not　clear　that　between　them　not　only
  there　were　no　more　obstacles；　but　that　bothespecially　shefelt
  a　certain　shame　after　what　had　happened　at　the　piano？　　How
  weakly；　pitiably；　happily　she　smiled；　as　she　wiped　the
  perspiration　from　her　reddened　face！　　They　already　avoided　each
  other's　eyes；　and　only　at　the　supper；　when　she　poured　some　water
  for　him；　did　they　look　at　each　other　and　smile　imperceptibly。'
  〃Now　I　remember　with　fright　that　look　and　that　scarcely
  perceptible　smile。　　'Yes；　everything　has　happened；'　a　voice　said
  to　me；　and　directly　another　said　the　opposite。　　'Are　you　mad？　　It
  is　impossible！'　said　the　second　voice。
  〃It　was　too　painful　to　me　to　remain　thus　stretched　in　the
  darkness。　　I　struck　a　match；　and　the　little　yellow…papered　room
  frightened　me。　I　lighted　a　cigarette；　and；　as　always　happens；
  when　one　turns　in　a　circle　of　inextricable　contradiction；　I　began
  to　smoke。　　I　smoked　cigarette　after　cigarette　to　dull　my　senses；
  that　I　might　not　see　my　contradictions。　　All　night　I　did　not
  sleep；　and　at　five　o'clock；　when　it　was　not　yet　light；　I　decided
  that　I　could　stand　this　strain　no　longer；　and　that　I　would　leave
  directly。　　There　was　a　train　at　eight　o'clock。　　I　awakened　the
  keeper　who　was　acting　as　my　servant；　and　sent　him　to　look　for
  horses。　　To　the　assembly　of　Zemstvo　I　sent　a　message　that　I　was
  called　back　to　Moscow　by　pressing　business；　and　that　I　begged
  them　to　substitute　for　me　a　member　of　the　Committee。　　At　eight
  o'clock　I　got　into　a　tarantass　and　started　off。
  CHAPTER　XXV。
  〃I　had　to　go　twenty…five　versts　by　carriage　and　eight　hours　by
  train。　　By　carriage　it　was　a　very　pleasant　journey。　　The　coolness
  of　autumn　was　accompanied　by　a　brilliant　sun。　　You　know　the
  weather　when　the　wheels　imprint　themselves　upon　the　dirty　road。
  The　road　was　level；　and　the　light　strong；　and　the　air
  strengthening。　　The　tarantass　was　comfortable。　　As　I　looked　at
  the　horses；　the　fields；　and　the　people　whom　we　passed；　I　forgot
  where　I　was　going。　　Sometimes　it　seemed　to　me　that　I　was
  travelling　without　an　object；simply　promenading；and　that　I
  should　go　on　thus　to　the　end　of　the　world。　　And　I　was　happy　when
  I　so　forgot　myself。　　But　when　I　remembered　where　I　was　going；　I
  said　to　myself：　'I　shall　see　later。　　Don't　think　about　it。'
  〃When　half　way；　an　incident　happened　to　distract　me　still
  further。　　The　tarantass；　though　new；　broke　down；　and　had　to　be
  repaired。　　The　delays　in　looking　for　a　telegue；　the　repairs；　the
  payment；　the　tea　in　the　inn；　the　conversation　with　the　dvornik；
  all　served　to　amuse　me。　　Toward　nightfall　all　was　ready；　and　I
  started　off　again。　　By　night　the　journey　was　still　pleasanter
  than　by　day。　　The　moon　in　its　first　quarter；　a　slight　frost；　the
  road　still　in　good　condition；　the　horses；　the　sprightly　coachman；
  all　served　to　put　me　in　good　spirits。　　I　scarcely　thought　of　what
  awaited　me；　and　was　gay　perhaps　because　of　the　very　thing　that
  awaited　me；　and　because　I　was　about　to　say　farewell　to　the　joys
  of　life。
  〃But　this　tranquil　state；　the　power　of　conquering　my
  preoccupation；　all　ended　with　the　carriage　drive。　　Scarcely　had
  I　entered　the　cars；　when　the　other　thing　began。　　Those　eight
  hours　on　the　rail　were　so　terrible　to　me　that　I　shall　never
  forget　them　in　my　life。　　Was　it　because　on　entering　the　car　I　had
  a　vivid　imagination　of　having　already　arrived；　or　because　the
  railway　acts　upon　people　in　such　an　exciting　fashion？　　At　any
  rate；　after　boarding　the　train　I　could　no　longer　control　my
  imagination；　which　incessantly；　with　extraordinary　vivacity；　drew
  pictures　before　my　eyes；　each　more　cynical　than　its　predecessor；
  which　kindled　my　jealousy。　　And　always　the　same　things　about　what
  was　happening　at　home　during　my　absence。　　I　burned　with
  indignation；　with　rage；　and　with　a　peculiar　feeling　which　steeped
  me　in　humiliation；　as　I　contemplated　these　pictures。　　And　I　could
  not　tear　myself　out　of　this　condition。　　I　could　not　help　looking
  at　them；　I　could　not　efface　them；　I　could　not　keep　from　evoking
  them。
  〃The　more　I　looked　at　these　imaginary　pictures；　the　more　I
  believed　in　their　reality；　forgetting　that　they　had　no　serious
  foundation。　　The　vivacity　of　these　images　seemed　to　prove　to　me
  that　my　imaginations　were　a　reality。　　One　would　have　said　that　a
  demon；　against　my　will；　was　inventing　and　breathing　into　me　the
  most　terrible　fictions。　　A　conversation　which　dated　a　long　time
  back；　with　the　brother　of　Troukhatchevsky；　I　remembered　at　that
  moment；　in　a　sort　of　ecstasy；　and　it　tore　my　heart　as　I　connected
  it　with　the　musician　and　my　wife。　　Yes；　it　was　very　long　ago。
  The　brother　of　Troukhatchevsky；　answering　my　questions　as　to
  whether　he　frequented　disreputable　houses；　said　that　a
  respectable　man　does　not　go　where　he　may　contract　a　disease；　in　a
  low　and　unclean　spot；　when　one　can　find　an　honest　woman。　　And
  here　he；　his　brother；　the　musician；　had　found　the　honest　woman。
  'It　is　true　that　she　is　no　longer　in　her　early　youth。　　She　has
  lost　a　tooth　on　one　side；　and　her　face　is　slightly　bloated；'
  thought　I　for　Troukhatchevsky。　　'But　what　is　to　be　done？　　One
  must　profit　by　what　one　has。'
  〃'Yes；　he　is　bound　to　take　her　for　his　mistress；'　said　I　to
  myself　again；　'and　besides；　she　is　not　dangerous。'
  〃'No；　it　is　not　possible'　I　rejoined　in　fright。　'Nothing；　nothing
  of　the　kind　has　happened；　and　there　is　no　reason　to　suppose　there
  has。　　Did　she　not　tell　me　that　the　very　idea　that　I　could　be
  jealous　of　her　because　of　him　was　humiliating　to　her？'　　'Yes；　but
  she　lied；'　I　cried；　and　all　began　over　again。
  〃There　were　only　two　travellers　in　my　compartment：　an　old　woman
  with　her　husband；　neither　of　them　very　talkative；　and　even　they
  got　out　at　one　of　the　stations；　leaving　me　all　alone。　　I　was　like
  a　beast　in　a　cage。　　Now　I　jumped　up　and　approached　the　window；
  now　I　began　to　walk　back　and　forth；　staggering　as　if　I　hoped　to
  make　the　train　go　faster　by　my　efforts；　and　the　car　with　its
  seats　and　its　windows　trembled　continually；　as　ours　does
  now。〃
  And　Posdnicheff　rose　abruptly；　took　a　few　steps；　and　sat　down
  again。
  〃Oh；　I　am　afraid；　I　am　afraid　of　railway　carriages。　　Fear　s