第 11 节
作者:
绚烂冬季 更新:2021-04-30 16:04 字数:9321
No! not even a doctor! The chicken droops its head; overwhelmed;
or the calf dies; the hen clucks and the cow lows for a time; and
then these beasts continue to live; forgetting what has happened。
With us; if the child falls sick; what is to be done; how to care
for it; what doctor to call; where to go? If it dies; there will
be no more little hands or little feet; and then what is the use
of the sufferings endured? The cow does not ask all that; and
this is why children are a source of misery。 The cow has no
imagination; and for that reason cannot think how it might have
saved the child if it had done this or that; and its grief;
founded in its physical being; lasts but a very short time。 It
is only a condition; and not that sorrow which becomes
exaggerated to the point of despair; thanks to idleness and
satiety。 The cow has not that reasoning faculty which would
enable it to ask the why。 Why endure all these tortures? What
was the use of so much love; if the little ones were to die? The
cow has no logic which tells it to have no more children; and; if
any come accidentally; to neither love nor nurse them; that it
may not suffer。 But our wives reason; and reason in this way;
and that is why I said that; when a man does not live as a man;
he is beneath the animal。〃
〃But then; how is it necessary to act; in your opinion; in order
to treat children humanly?〃 I asked。
〃How? Why; love them humanly。〃
〃Well; do not mothers love their children?〃
〃They do not love them humanly; or very seldom do; and that is
why they do not love them even as dogs。 Mark this; a hen; a
goose; a wolf; will always remain to woman inaccessible ideals of
animal love。 It is a rare thing for a woman to throw herself; at
the peril of her life; upon an elephant to snatch her child away;
whereas a hen or a sparrow will not fail to fly at a dog and
sacrifice itself utterly for its children。 Observe this; also。
Woman has the power to limit her physical love for her children;
which an animal cannot do。 Does that mean that; because of this;
woman is inferior to the animal? No。 She is superior (and even
to say superior is unjust; she is not superior; she is
different); but she has other duties; human duties。 She can
restrain herself in the matter of animal love; and transfer her
love to the soul of the child。 That is what woman's role should
be; and that is precisely what we do not see in our society。 We
read of the heroic acts of mothers who sacrifice their children
in the name of a superior idea; and these things seem to us like
tales of the ancient world; which do not concern us。 And yet I
believe that; if the mother has not some ideal; in the name of
which she can sacrifice the animal feeling; and if this force
finds no employment; she will transfer it to chimerical attempts
to physically preserve her child; aided in this task by the
doctor; and she will suffer as she does suffer。
〃So it was with my wife。 Whether there was one child or five;
the feeling remained the same。 In fact; it was a little better
when there had been five。 Life was always poisoned with fear for
the children; not only from their real or imaginary diseases; but
even by their simple presence。 For my part; at least; throughout
my conjugal life; all my interests and all my happiness depended
upon the health of my children; their condition; their studies。
Children; it is needless to say; are a serious consideration; but
all ought to live; and in our days parents can no longer live。
Regular life does not exist for them。 The whole life of the
family hangs by a hair。 What a terrible thing it is to suddenly
receive the news that little Basile is vomiting; or that Lise has
a cramp in the stomach! Immediately you abandon everything; you
forget everything; everything becomes nothing。 The essential
thing is the doctor; the enema; the temperature。 You cannot
begin a conversation but little Pierre comes running in with an
anxious air to ask if he may eat an apple; or what jacket he
shall put on; or else it is the servant who enters with a
screaming baby。
〃Regular; steady family life does not exist。 Where you live; and
consequently what you do; depends upon the health of the little
ones; the health of the little ones depends upon nobody; and;
thanks to the doctors; who pretend to aid health; your entire
life is disturbed。 It is a perpetual peril。 Scarcely do we
believe ourselves out of it when a new danger comes: more
attempts to save。 Always the situation of sailors on a
foundering vessel。 Sometimes it seemed to me that this was done
on purpose; that my wife feigned anxiety in order to conquer me;
since that solved the question so simply for her benefit。 It
seemed to me that all that she did at those times was done for
its effect upon me; but now I see that she herself; my wife;
suffered and was tortured on account of the little ones; their
health; and their diseases。
〃A torture to both of us; but to her the children were also a
means of forgetting herself; like an intoxication。 I often
noticed; when she was very sad; that she was relieved; when a
child fell sick; at being able to take refuge in this
intoxication。 It was involuntary intoxication; because as yet
there was nothing else。 On every side we heard that Mrs。
So…and…so had lost children; that Dr。 So…and…so had saved the
child of Mrs。 So…and…so; and that in a certain family all had
moved from the house in which they were living; and thereby saved
the little ones。 And the doctors; with a serious air; confirmed
this; sustaining my wife in her opinions。 She was not prone to
fear; but the doctor dropped some word; like corruption of the
blood; scarlatina; or elseheaven help usdiphtheria; and off
she went。
〃It was impossible for it to be otherwise。 Women in the old days
had the belief that 'God has given; God has taken away;' that the
soul of the little angel is going to heaven; and that it is
better to die innocent than to die in sin。 If the women of
to…day had something like this faith; they could endure more
peacefully the sickness of their children。 But of all that there
does not remain even a trace。 And yet it is necessary to believe
in something; consequently they stupidly believe in medicine; and
not even in medicine; but in the doctor。 One believes in X;
another in Z; and; like all believers; they do not see the idiocy
of their beliefs。 They believe quia absurdum; because; in
reality; if they did not believe in a stupid way; they would see
the vanity of all that these brigands prescribe for them。
Scarlatina is a contagious disease; so; when one lives in a large
city; half the family has to move away from its residence (we did
it twice); and yet every man in the city is a centre through
which pass innumerable diameters; carrying threads of all sorts
of contagions。 There is no obstacle: the baker; the tailor; the
coachman; the laundresses。
〃And I would undertake; for every man who moves on account of
contagion; to find in his new dwelling…place another contagion
similar; if not the same。
〃But that is not all。 Every one knows rich people who; after a
case of diphtheria; destroy everything in their residences; and
then fall sick in houses newly built and furnished。 Every one
knows; likewise; numbers of men who come in contact with sick
people and do not get infected。 Our anxieties are due to the
people who circulate tall stories。 One woman says that she has
an excellent doctor。 'Pardon me;' answers the other; 'he killed
such a one;' or such a one。 And vice versa。 Bring her another;
who knows no more; who learned from the same books; who treats
according to the same formulas; but who goes about in a carriage;
and asks a hundred roubles a visit; and she will have faith in
him。
〃It all lies in the fact that our women are savages。 They have
no belief in God; but some of them believe in the evil eye; and
the others in doctors who charge high fees。 If they had faith
they would know that scarlatina; diphtheria; etc。; are not so
terrible; since they cannot disturb that which man can and should
love;the soul。 There can result from them only that which none
of us can avoid;disease and death。 Without faith in God; they
love only physically; and all their energy is concentrated upon
the preservation of life; which cannot be preserved; and which
the doctors promise the fools of both sexes to save。 And from
that time there is nothing to be done; the doctors must be
summoned。
〃Thus the presence of the children not only did not improve our
relations as husband and wife; but; on the contrary; disunited
us。 The children became an additional cause of dispute; and the
larger they grew; the more they became an instrument of struggle。
One would have said that we used them as weapons with which to
combat each other。 Each of us had his