第 11 节
作者:绚烂冬季      更新:2021-04-30 16:04      字数:9321
  No! not even a doctor!  The chicken droops its head; overwhelmed;
  or the calf dies; the hen clucks and the cow lows for a time; and
  then these beasts continue to live; forgetting what has happened。
  With us; if the child falls sick; what is to be done; how to care
  for it; what doctor to call; where to go?  If it dies; there will
  be no more little hands or little feet; and then what is the use
  of the sufferings endured?  The cow does not ask all that; and
  this is why children are a source of misery。  The cow has no
  imagination; and for that reason cannot think how it might have
  saved the child if it had done this or that; and its grief;
  founded in its physical being; lasts but a very short time。  It
  is only a condition; and not that sorrow which becomes
  exaggerated to the point of despair; thanks to idleness and
  satiety。  The cow has not that reasoning faculty which would
  enable it to ask the why。  Why endure all these tortures? What
  was the use of so much love; if the little ones were to die?  The
  cow has no logic which tells it to have no more children; and; if
  any come accidentally; to neither love nor nurse them; that it
  may not suffer。  But our wives reason; and reason in this way;
  and that is why I said that; when a man does not live as a man;
  he is beneath the animal。〃
  〃But then; how is it necessary to act; in your opinion; in order
  to treat children humanly?〃 I asked。
  〃How?  Why; love them humanly。〃
  〃Well; do not mothers love their children?〃
  〃They do not love them humanly; or very seldom do; and that is
  why they do not love them even as dogs。  Mark this; a hen; a
  goose; a wolf; will always remain to woman inaccessible ideals of
  animal love。  It is a rare thing for a woman to throw herself; at
  the peril of her life; upon an elephant to snatch her child away;
  whereas a hen or a sparrow will not fail to fly at a dog and
  sacrifice itself utterly for its children。  Observe this; also。
  Woman has the power to limit her physical love for her children;
  which an animal cannot do。  Does that mean that; because of this;
  woman is inferior to the animal?  No。  She is superior (and even
  to say superior is unjust; she is not superior; she is
  different); but she has other duties; human duties。  She can
  restrain herself in the matter of animal love; and transfer her
  love to the soul of the child。  That is what woman's role should
  be; and that is precisely what we do not see in our society。 We
  read of the heroic acts of mothers who sacrifice their children
  in the name of a superior idea; and these things seem to us like
  tales of the ancient world; which do not concern us。  And yet I
  believe that; if the mother has not some ideal; in the name of
  which she can sacrifice the animal feeling; and if this force
  finds no employment; she will transfer it to chimerical attempts
  to physically preserve her child; aided in this task by the
  doctor; and she will suffer as she does suffer。
  〃So it was with my wife。  Whether there was one child or five;
  the feeling remained the same。  In fact; it was a little better
  when there had been five。  Life was always poisoned with fear for
  the children; not only from their real or imaginary diseases; but
  even by their simple presence。  For my part; at least; throughout
  my conjugal life; all my interests and all my happiness depended
  upon the health of my children; their condition; their studies。
  Children; it is needless to say; are a serious consideration; but
  all ought to live; and in our days parents can no longer live。
  Regular life does not exist for them。  The whole life of the
  family hangs by a hair。  What a terrible thing it is to suddenly
  receive the news that little Basile is vomiting; or that Lise has
  a cramp in the stomach!  Immediately you abandon everything; you
  forget everything; everything becomes nothing。  The essential
  thing is the doctor; the enema; the temperature。  You cannot
  begin a conversation but little Pierre comes running in with an
  anxious air to ask if he may eat an apple; or what jacket he
  shall put on; or else it is the servant who enters with a
  screaming baby。
  〃Regular; steady family life does not exist。  Where you live; and
  consequently what you do; depends upon the health of the little
  ones; the health of the little ones depends upon nobody; and;
  thanks to the doctors; who pretend to aid health; your entire
  life is disturbed。  It is a perpetual peril。  Scarcely do we
  believe ourselves out of it when a new danger comes: more
  attempts to save。  Always the situation of sailors on a
  foundering vessel。  Sometimes it seemed to me that this was done
  on purpose; that my wife feigned anxiety in order to conquer me;
  since that solved the question so simply for her benefit。  It
  seemed to me that all that she did at those times was done for
  its effect upon me; but now I see that she herself; my wife;
  suffered and was tortured on account of the little ones; their
  health; and their diseases。
  〃A torture to both of us; but to her the children were also a
  means of forgetting herself; like an intoxication。  I often
  noticed; when she was very sad; that she was relieved; when a
  child fell sick; at being able to take refuge in this
  intoxication。  It was involuntary intoxication; because as yet
  there was nothing else。  On every side we heard that Mrs。
  So…and…so had lost children; that Dr。 So…and…so had saved the
  child of Mrs。 So…and…so; and that in a certain family all had
  moved from the house in which they were living; and thereby saved
  the little ones。  And the doctors; with a serious air; confirmed
  this; sustaining my wife in her opinions。  She was not prone to
  fear; but the doctor dropped some word; like corruption of the
  blood; scarlatina; or elseheaven help usdiphtheria; and off
  she went。
  〃It was impossible for it to be otherwise。  Women in the old days
  had the belief that 'God has given; God has taken away;' that the
  soul of the little angel is going to heaven; and that it is
  better to die innocent than to die in sin。  If the women of
  to…day had something like this faith; they could endure more
  peacefully the sickness of their children。  But of all that there
  does not remain even a trace。  And yet it is necessary to believe
  in something; consequently they stupidly believe in medicine; and
  not even in medicine; but in the doctor。  One believes in X;
  another in Z; and; like all believers; they do not see the idiocy
  of their beliefs。  They believe quia absurdum; because; in
  reality; if they did not believe in a stupid way; they would see
  the vanity of all that these brigands prescribe for them。
  Scarlatina is a contagious disease; so; when one lives in a large
  city; half the family has to move away from its residence (we did
  it twice); and yet every man in the city is a centre through
  which pass innumerable diameters; carrying threads of all sorts
  of contagions。  There is no obstacle: the baker; the tailor; the
  coachman; the laundresses。
  〃And I would undertake; for every man who moves on account of
  contagion; to find in his new dwelling…place another contagion
  similar; if not the same。
  〃But that is not all。  Every one knows rich people who; after a
  case of diphtheria; destroy everything in their residences; and
  then fall sick in houses newly built and furnished。  Every one
  knows; likewise; numbers of men who come in contact with sick
  people and do not get infected。 Our anxieties are due to the
  people who circulate tall stories。  One woman says that she has
  an excellent doctor。  'Pardon me;' answers the other; 'he killed
  such a one;' or such a one。 And vice versa。  Bring her another;
  who knows no more; who learned from the same books; who treats
  according to the same formulas; but who goes about in a carriage;
  and asks a hundred roubles a visit; and she will have faith in
  him。
  〃It all lies in the fact that our women are savages。  They have
  no belief in God; but some of them believe in the evil eye; and
  the others in doctors who charge high fees。  If they had faith
  they would know that scarlatina; diphtheria; etc。; are not so
  terrible; since they cannot disturb that which man can and should
  love;the soul。 There can result from them only that which none
  of us can avoid;disease and death。  Without faith in God; they
  love only physically; and all their energy is concentrated upon
  the preservation of life; which cannot be preserved; and which
  the doctors promise the fools of both sexes to save。  And from
  that time there is nothing to be done; the doctors must be
  summoned。
  〃Thus the presence of the children not only did not improve our
  relations as husband and wife; but; on the contrary; disunited
  us。  The children became an additional cause of dispute; and the
  larger they grew; the more they became an instrument of struggle。
  One would have said that we used them as weapons with which to
  combat each other。  Each of us had his