第 15 节
作者:
这就是结局 更新:2021-04-30 15:46 字数:9321
to her and held the guilty secret over her head; leading her a
life of abject terror and humiliation by threatening to tell on
her。
ANN。 And a very good thing for her; too。 It was my duty to stop
her misconduct; and she is thankful to me for it now。
TANNER。 Is she?
ANN。 She ought to be; at all events。
TANNER。 It was not your duty to stop my misconduct; I suppose。
ANN。 I did stop it by stopping her。
TANNER。 Are you sure of that? You stopped my telling you about
my adventures; but how do you know that you stopped the
adventures?
ANN。 Do you mean to say that you went on in the same way with
other girls?
TANNER。 No。 I had enough of that sort of romantic tomfoolery
with Rachel。
ANN。 'unconvinced' Then why did you break off our confidences and
become quite strange to me?
TANNER。 'enigmatically' It happened just then that I got
something that I wanted to keep all to myself instead of sharing
it with you。
ANN。 I am sure I shouldn't have asked for any of it if you had
grudged it。
TANNER。 It wasn't a box of sweets; Ann。 It was something you'd
never have let me call my own。
ANN。 'incredulously' What?
TANNER。 My soul。
ANN。 Oh; do be sensible; Jack。 You know you're talking nonsense。
TANNER。 The most solemn earnest; Ann。 You didn't notice at that
time that you were getting a soul too。 But you were。 It was not
for nothing that you suddenly found you had a moral duty to
chastise and reform Rachel。 Up to that time you had traded pretty
extensively in being a good child; but you had never set up a
sense of duty to others。 Well; I set one up too。 Up to that time
I had played the boy buccaneer with no more conscience than a fox
in a poultry farm。 But now I began to have scruples; to feel
obligations; to find that veracity and honor were no longer
goody…goody expressions in the mouths of grown up people; but
compelling principles in myself。
ANN。 'quietly' Yes; I suppose you're right。 You were beginning to
be a man; and I to be a woman。
TANNER。 Are you sure it was not that we were beginning to be
something more? What does the beginning of manhood and womanhood
mean in most people's mouths? You know: it means the beginning of
love。 But love began long before that for me。 Love played its
part in the earliest dreams and follies and romances I can
remembermay I say the earliest follies and romances we can
remember?though we did not understand it at the time。 No: the
change that came to me was the birth in me of moral passion; and
I declare that according to my experience moral passion is the
only real passion。
ANN。 All passions ought to be moral; Jack。
TANNER。 Ought! Do you think that anything is strong enough to
impose oughts on a passion except a stronger passion still?
ANN。 Our moral sense controls passion; Jack。 Don't be stupid。
TANNER。 Our moral sense! And is that not a passion? Is the devil
to have all the passions as well as all the good times? If it
were not a passionif it were not the mightiest of the passions;
all the other passions would sweep it away like a leaf before a
hurricane。 It is the birth of that passion that turns a child
into a man。
ANN。 There are other passions; Jack。 Very strong ones。
TANNER。 All the other passions were in me before; but they were
idle and aimlessmere childish greedinesses and cruelties;
curiosities and fancies; habits and superstitions; grotesque and
ridiculous to the mature intelligence。 When they suddenly began
to shine like newly lit flames it was by no light of their own;
but by the radiance of the dawning moral passion。 That passion
dignified them; gave them conscience and meaning; found them a
mob of appetites and organized them into an army of purposes and
principles。 My soul was born of that passion。
ANN。 I noticed that you got more sense。 You were a dreadfully
destructive boy before that。
TANNER。 Destructive! Stuff! I was only mischievous。
ANN。 Oh Jack; you were very destructive。 You ruined all the young
fir trees by chopping off their leaders with a wooden sword。 You
broke all the cucumber frames with your catapult。 You set fire to
the common: the police arrested Tavy for it because he ran away
when he couldn't stop you。 You
TANNER。 Pooh! pooh! pooh! these were battles; bombardments;
stratagems to save our scalps from the red Indians。 You have no
imagination; Ann。 I am ten times more destructive now than I was
then。 The moral passion has taken my destructiveness in hand and
directed it to moral ends。 I have become a reformer; and; like
all reformers; an iconoclast。 I no longer break cucumber frames
and burn gorse bushes: I shatter creeds and demolish idols。
ANN。 'bored' I am afraid I am too feminine to see any sense in
destruction。 Destruction can only destroy。
TANNER。 Yes。 That is why it is so useful。 Construction cumbers
the ground with institutions made by busybodies。 Destruction
clears it and gives us breathing space and liberty。
ANN。 It's no use; Jack。 No woman will agree with you there。
TANNER。 That's because you confuse construction and destruction
with creation and murder。 They're quite different: I adore
creation and abhor murder。 Yes: I adore it in tree and flower;
in bird and beast; even in you。 'A flush of interest and delight
suddenly clears the growing perplexity and boredom from her
face'。 It was the creative instinct that led you to attach me to
you by bonds that have left their mark on me to this day。 Yes;
Ann: the old childish compact between us was an unconscious love
compact。
ANN。 Jack!
TANNER。 Oh; don't be alarmed
ANN。 I am not alarmed。
TANNER。 'whimsically' Then you ought to be: where are your
principles?
ANN。 Jack: are you serious or are you not?
TANNER。 Do you mean about the moral passion?
ANN。 No; no; the other one。 'Confused' Oh! you are so silly; one
never knows how to take you。
TANNER。 You must take me quite seriously。 I am your guardian; and
it is my duty to improve your mind。
ANN。 The love compact is over; then; is it? I suppose you grew
tired of me?
TANNER。 No; but the moral passion made our childish relations
impossible。 A jealous sense of my new individuality arose in me。
ANN。 You hated to be treated as a boy any longer。 Poor Jack!
TANNER。 Yes; because to be treated as a boy was to be taken on
the old footing。 I had become a new person; and those who knew
the old person laughed at me。 The only man who behaved sensibly
was my tailor: he took my measure anew every time he saw me;
whilst all the rest went on with their old measurements and
expected them to fit me。
ANN。 You became frightfully self…conscious。
TANNER。 When you go to heaven; Ann; you will be frightfully
conscious of your wings for the first year or so。 When you meet
your relatives there; and they persist in treating you as if you
were still a mortal; you will not be able to bear them。 You will
try to get into a circle which has never known you except as an
angel。
ANN。 So it was only your vanity that made you run away from us
after all?
TANNER。 Yes; only my vanity; as you call it。
ANN。 You need not have kept away from ME on that account。
TANNER。 From you above all others。 You fought harder than anybody
against my emancipation。
ANN。 'earnestly' Oh; how wrong you are! I would have done
anything for you。
TANNER。 Anything except let me get loose from you。 Even then you
had acquired by instinct that damnable woman's trick of heaping
obligations on a man; of placing yourself so entirely and
helplessly at his mercy that at last he dare not take a step
without running to you for leave。 I know a poor wretch whose one
desire in life is to run away from his wife。 She prevents him by
threatening to throw herself in front of the engine of the train
he leaves her in。 That is what all women do。 If we try to go
where you do not want us to go there is no law to prevent us;
but when we take the first step your breasts are under our foot
as it descends: your bodies are under our wheels as we start。 No
woman shall ever enslave me in that way。
ANN。 But; Jack; you cannot get through life without considering
other people a little。
TANNER。 Ay; but what other people? It is this consideration of
other people or rather this cowardly fear of them which we
call consideration that makes us the sentimental slaves we are。
To consider you; as you call it; is to substitute your will for
my own。 How if it be a baser will than mine? Are women taught
better than men or worse? Are mobs of voters taught better than
statesmen or worse? Worse; of course; in both cases。 And then
what sort of world are you going to get; with its public men
considering its voting mobs; and its private men considering
their wives? What does Church and State mean nowadays? The
Woman and the Ratepayer。
ANN。 'placidly' I am so glad you understand politics; Jack: it
will be most useful to you if you go into parliament 'he
collapses like a pricked bladder'。 But I am sorry you thought my
influence a bad one。
TANNER。 I don't say it was a bad one。 But bad or good; I didn't
choose to be cut to your measure。 And I won't be cut to it。
ANN。 Nobody wants you to; Jack。 I assure youreally on my word
I don't mind your