FAIRY　TALES　OF　HANS　CHRISTIAN　ANDERSEN
  OUR　AUNT
  by　Hans　Christian　Andersen
  You　ought　to　have　known　our　aunt；　she　was　charming！　That　is　to
  say；　she　was　not　charming　at　all　as　the　word　is　usually　understood；
  but　she　was　good　and　kind；　amusing　in　her　way；　and　was　just　as　any　one
  ought　to　be　whom　people　are　to　talk　about　and　to　laugh　at。　She　might
  have　been　put　into　a　play；　and　wholly　and　solely　on　account　of　the
  fact　that　she　only　lived　for　the　theatre　and　for　what　was　done
  there。　She　was　an　honorable　matron；　but　Agent　Fabs；　whom　she　used　to
  call　〃Flabs；〃　declared　that　our　aunt　was　stage…struck。
  〃The　theatre　is　my　school；〃　said　she；　〃the　source　of　my　knowledge。
  From　thence　I　have　resuscitated　Biblical　history。　Now；　'Moses'　and
  'Joseph　in　Egypt'…　there　are　operas　for　you！　I　get　my　universal
  history　from　the　theatre；　my　geography；　and　my　knowledge　of　men。　Out
  of　the　French　pieces　I　get　to　know　life　in　Paris…　slippery；　but
  exceedingly　interesting。　How　I　have　cried　over　〃La　Famille
  Roquebourg'…　that　the　man　must　drink　himself　to　death；　so　that　she　may
  marry　the　young　fellow！　Yes；　how　many　tears　I　have　wept　in　the　fifty
  years　I　have　subscribed　to　the　theatre！〃
  Our　aunt　knew　every　acting　play；　every　bit　of　scenery；　every
  character；　every　one　who　appeared　or　had　appeared。　She　seemed　really
  only　to　live　during　the　nine　months　the　theatre　was　open。　Summertime
  without　a　summer　theatre　seemed　to　be　only　a　time　that　made　her　old；
  while；　on　the　other　hand；　a　theatrical　evening　that　lasted　till
  midnight　was　a　lengthening　of　her　life。　She　did　not　say；　as　other
  people　do；　〃Now　we　shall　have　spring；　the　stork　is　here；〃　or；　〃They've
  advertised　the　first　strawberries　in　the　papers。〃　She；　on　the
  contrary；　used　to　announce　the　coming　of　autumn；　with　〃Have　you
  heard　they're　selling　boxes　for　the　theatre？　now　the　performances　will
  begin。〃
  She　used　to　value　a　lodging　entirely　according　to　its　proximity　to
  the　theatre。　It　was　a　real　sorrow　to　her　when　she　had　to　leave　the
  little　lane　behind　the　playhouse；　and　move　into　the　great　street
  that　lay　a　little　farther　off；　and　live　there　in　a　house　where　she　had
  no　opposite　neighbors。
  〃At　home；〃　said　she；　〃my　windows　must　be　my　opera…box。　One
  cannot　sit　and　look　into　one's　self　till　one's　tired；　one　must　see
  people。　But　now　I　live　just　as　if　I'd　go　into　the　country。　If　I　want
  to　see　human　beings；　I　must　go　into　my　kitchen；　and　sit　down　on　the
  sink；　for　there　only　I　have　opposite　neighbors。　No；　when　I　lived　in　my
  dear　little　lane；　I　could　look　straight　down　into　the　ironmonger's
  shop；　and　had　only　three　hundred　paces　to　the　theatre；　and　now　I've
  three　thousand　paces　to　go；　military　measurement。〃
  Our　aunt　was　sometimes　ill；　but　however　unwell　she　might　feel；　she
  never　missed　the　play。　The　doctor　prescribed　one　day　that　she　should
  put　her　feet　in　a　bran　bath；　and　she　followed　his　advice；　but　she
  drove　to　the　theatre　all　the　same；　and　sat　with　her　feet　in　bran
  there。　If　she　had　died　there；　she　would　have　been　very　glad。
  Thorwaldsen　died　in　the　theatre；　and　she　called　that　a　happy　death。
  She　could　not　imagine　but　that　in　heaven　there　must　be　a　theatre
  too。　It　had　not；　indeed；　been　promised　us；　but　we　might　very　well
  imagine　it。　The　many　distinguished　actors　and　actresses　who　had　passed
  away　must　surely　have　a　field　for　their　talent。
  Our　aunt　had　an　electric　wire　from　the　theatre　to　her　room。　A
  telegram　used　to　be　dispatched　to　her　at　coffee…time；　and　it　used　to
  consist　of　the　words；　〃Herr　Sivertsen　is　at　the　machinery；〃　for　it　was
  he　who　gave　the　signal　for　drawing　the　curtain　up　and　down　and　for
  changing　the　scenes。
  From　him　she　used　to　receive　a　short　and　concise　description　of
  every　piece。　His　opinion　of　Shakspeare's　〃Tempest；〃　was；　〃Mad
  nonsense！　There's　so　much　to　put　up；　and　the　first　scene　begins　with
  'Water　to　the　front　of　the　wings。'〃　That　is　to　say；　the　water　had　to
  come　forward　so　far。　But　when；　on　the　other　hand；　the　same　interior
  scene　remained　through　five　acts；　he　used　to　pronounce　it　a
  sensible；　well…written　play；　a　resting　play；　which　performed　itself；
  without　putting　up　scenes。
  In　earlier　times；　by　which　name　our　aunt　used　to　designate
  thirty　years　ago；　she　and　the　before…mentioned　Herr　Sivertsen　had　been
  younger。　At　that　time　he　had　already　been　connected　with　the
  machinery；　and　was；　as　she　said；　her　benefactor。　It　used　to　be　the
  custom　in　those　days　that　in　the　evening　performances　in　the　only
  theatre　the　town　possessed；　spectators　were　admitted　to　the　part
  called　the　〃flies；〃　over　the　stage；　and　every　machinist　had　one　or　two
  places　to　give　away。　Often　the　flies　were　quite　full　of　good
  company；　it　was　said　that　generals'　wives　and　privy　councillors'　wives
  had　been　up　there。　It　was　quite　interesting　to　look　down　behind　the
  scenes；　and　to　see　how　the　people　walked　to　and　fro　on　the　stage
  when　the　curtain　was　down。
  Our　aunt　had　been　there　several　times；　as　well　when　there　was　a
  tragedy　as　when　there　was　a　ballet；　for　the　pieces　in　which　there　were
  the　greatest　number　of　characters　on　the　stage　were　the　most
  interesting　to　see　from　the　flies。　One　sat　pretty　much　in　the　dark
  up　there；　and　most　people　took　their　supper　up　with　them。　Once　three
  apples　and　a　great　piece　of　bread　and　butter　and　sausage　fell　down
  right　into　the　dungeon　of　Ugolino；　where　that　unhappy　man　was　to　be
  starved　to　death；　and　there　was　great　laughter　among　the　audience。　The
  sausage　was　one　of　the　weightiest　reasons　why　the　worthy　management
  refused　in　future　to　have　any　spectators　up　in　the　flies。
  〃But　I　was　there　seven…and…thirty　times；〃　said　our　aunt；　〃and　I
  shall　always　remember　Mr。　Sivertsen　for　that。〃
  On　the　very　last　evening　when　the　flies　were　still　open　to　the
  public；　the　〃Judgment　of　Solomon〃　was　performed；　as　our　aunt
  remembered　very　well。　She　had；　through　the　influence　of　her
  benefactor；　Herr　Sivertsen；　procured　a　free　admission　for　the　Agent
  Fabs；　although　he　did　not　deserve　it　in　the　least；　for　he　was　always
  cutting　his　jokes　about　the　theatre　and　teasing　our　aunt；　but　she
  had　procured　him　a　free　admission　to　the　flies；　for　all　that。　He
  wanted　to　look　at　this　player…stuff　from　the　other　side。
  〃Those　were　his　own　words；　and　they　were　just　like　him；〃　said
  our　aunt。
  He　looked　down　from　above　on　the　'Judgment　of　Solomon；〃　and　fell
  asleep　over　it。　One　would　have　thought　that　he　had　come　from　a
  dinner　where　many　toasts　had　been　given。　He　went　to　sleep；　and　was
  locked　in。　And　there　he　sat　through　the　dark　night　in　the　flies；　and
  when　he　woke；　he　told　a　story；　but　our　aunt　would　not　believe　it。
  〃The　'Judgment　of　Solomon'　was　over；〃　he　said；　〃and　all　the　people
  had　gone　away；　up　stairs　and　down　stairs；　but　now　the　real　play　began；
  the　after…piece；　which　was　the　best　of　all；〃　said　the　agent。　〃Then
  life　came　into　the　affair。　It　was　not　the　'Judgment　of　Solomon'　that
  was　performed；　no；　a　real　court　of　judgment　was　held　upon　the
  stage。〃　And　Agent　Fabs　had　the　impudence　to　try　and　make　our　aunt
  believe　all　this。　That　was　the　thanks　she　got　for　having　got　him　a
  place　in　the　flies。
  What　did　the　agent　say？　Why；　it　was　curious　enough　to　hear；　but
  there　was　malice　and　satire　in　it。
  〃It　looked　dark　enough　up　there；〃　said　the　agent；　〃but　then　the
  magic　business　began…　a　great　performance；　'The　Judgment　in　the
  Theatre。'　The　box…keepers　were　at　their　posts；　and　every　spectator　had
  to　show　his　ghostly　pass…book；　that　it　might　be　decided　if　he　was　to
  be　admitted　with　hands　loose　or　bound；　and　with　or　without　a　muzzle。
  Grand　people　who　came　too　late；　when　the　performance　had　begun；　and
  young　people；　who　could　not　always　watch　the　time；　were　tied　up
  outside；　and　had　list　slippers　put　on　their　feet；　with　which　they　were
  allowed　to　go　in　before　the　beginning　of　the　next　act；　and　they　had
  muzzles　too。　And　then　the　'Judgment　on　the　Stage'　began。〃
  〃All　malice；　and　not　a　bit　of　truth　in　it；〃　said　our　aunt。
  The　painter；　who　wanted　to　get　to　Paradise；　had　to　go　up　a
  staircase　which　he　had　himself　painted；　but　which　no　man　could
  mount。　That　was　to　expiate　his　sins　against　perspective。　All　the
  plants　and　buildings；　which　the　property…man　had　placed；　with　infinite
  pains；　in　countries　to　which　they　did　not　belong；　the　poor　fellow
  was　obliged　to　put　in　their　right　places　before　cockcrow；　if　he　wanted
  to　get　into　Paradise。　Let　Herr　Fabs　see　how　he　would　get　in　himself；
  but　what　he　said　of　the　performers；　tragedians　and　comedians；
  singers　and　dancers；　that　was　the　most　rascally　of　all。　Mr。　Fabs；
  indeed！…　Flabs！　He　did　not　deserve　to　be　admitted　at　all；　and　our　aunt
  would　not　soil　her　lips　with　what　he　said。　And　he　said；　did　Flabs；
  that　the　whole　was　written　down；　and　it　should　be　printed　when　he
  was　dead　and　buried；　but　not　before；　for　he　would　not　risk　having
  his　arms　and　legs　broken。
  Once　our　aunt　had　been　in　fear　and　trembling　in　her　temple　of
  happiness；　the　theatre。　It　was　on　a　winter　day；　one　of　those　days　in
  which　o