第 63 节
作者:
小秋 更新:2021-03-11 17:56 字数:9322
Another of his delusions; no doubt。 〃Did you ever hear him
speak;〃 Mrs。 Tenbruggen went on; 〃of a place called Low Lanes?〃
She waited for my reply to this last inquiry with an appearance
of anxiety that surprised me。 I had never heard him speak of Low
Lanes。
〃Have you any particular interest in the place?〃 I asked。
〃None whatever。〃
She went away to attend on a patient。 I retired to my bedroom;
and opened my Diary。 Again and again; I read that remarkable
story of the intended poisoning; and of the manner in which it
had ended。 I sat thinking over this romance in real life till I
was interrupted by the announcement of dinner。
Mr。 Philip Dunboyne had returned。 In Miss Jillgall's absence we
were alone at the table。 My appetite was gone。 I made a pretense
of eating; and another pretense of being glad to see my devoted
lover。 I talked to him in the prettiest manner。 As a hypocrite;
he thoroughly matched me; he was gallant; he was amusing。 If
baseness like ours had been punishable by the law; a prison was
the right place for both of us。
Mrs。 Tenbruggen came in again after dinner; still not quite easy
about my health。 〃How flushed you are!〃 she said。 〃Let me feel
your pulse。〃 I laughed; and left her with Mr。 Philip Dunboyne。
Passing my father's door; I looked in; anxious to see if he was
in the excitable state which Mrs。 Tenbruggen had described。 Yes;
the effect which she had produced on himhow; she knows
besthad not passed away yet: he was still talking。 The
attendant told me it had gone on for hours together。 On my
approaching his chair; he called out: 〃Which are you? Eunice or
Helena?〃 When I had answered him; he beckoned me to come nearer。
〃I am getting stronger every minute;〃 he said。 〃We will go
traveling to…morrow; and see the place where you were born。〃
Where had I been born? He had never told me where。 Had he
mentioned the place in Mrs。 Tenbruggen's hearing? I asked the
attendant if he had been present while she was in the room。 Yes;
he had remained at his post; he had also heard the allusion to
the place with the odd name。 Had Mr。 Gracedieu said anything more
about that place? Nothing more; the poor Minister's mind had
wandered off to other things。 He was wandering now。 Sometimes; he
was addressing his congregation; sometimes; he wondered what they
would give him for supper; sometimes; he talked of the flowers in
the garden。 And then he looked at me; and frowned; and said I
prevented him from thinking。
I went back to my bedroom; and opened my Diary; and read the
story again。
Was the poison of which that resolute young wife proposed to make
use something that acted slowly; and told the doctors nothing if
they looked for it after death?
Would it be running too great a risk to show the story to the
doctor; and try to get a little valuable information in that way?
It would be useless。 He would make some feeble joke; he would
say; girls and poisons are not fit company for each other。
But I might discover what I want to know in another way。 I might
call on the doctor; after he has gone out on his afternoon round
of visits; and might tell the servant I would wait for his
master's return。 Nobody would be in my way; I might get at the
medical literature in the consulting…room; and find the
information for myself。
A knock at my door interrupted me in the midst of my plans。 Mrs。
Tenbruggen again!still in a fidgety state of feeling on the
subject of my health。 〃Which is it?〃 she said。 〃Pain of body; my
dear; or pain of mind? I am anxious about you。〃
〃My dear Elizabeth; your sympathy is thrown away on me。 As I have
told you already; I am over…tirednothing more。〃
She was relieved to hear that I had no mental troubles to
complain of。 〃Fatigue;〃 she remarked; 〃sets itself right with
rest。 Did you take a very long walk?〃
〃Yes。〃
〃Beyond the limits of the town; of course? Philip has been taking
a walk in the country; too。 He doesn't say that he met you。〃
These clever people sometimes overreach themselves。 How she
suggested it to me; I cannot pretend to have discovered。 But I
did certainly suspect that she had led Philip; while they were
together downstairs; into saying to her what he had already said
to Miss Jillgall。 I was so angry that I tried to pump my
excellent friend; as she had been trying to pump mea vulgar
expression; but vulgar writing is such a convenient way of
writing sometimes。 My first attempt to entrap the Masseuse failed
completely。 She coolly changed the subject。
〃Have I interrupted you in writing?〃 she asked; pointing to my
Diary。
〃No; I was idling over what I have written alreadyan
extraordinary story which I copied from a book。〃
〃May I look at it?〃
I pushed the open Diary across the table。 If I was the ob ject of
any suspicions which she wanted to confirm; it would be curious
to see if the poisoning story helped her。 〃It's a piece of family
history;〃 I said; 〃I think you will agree with me that it is
really interesting。〃
She began to read。 As she went on; not all her power of
controlling herself could prevent her from turning pale。 This
change of color (in such a woman) a little alarmed me。 When a
girl is devoured by deadly hatred of a man; does the feeling show
itself to other persons in her face? I must practice before the
glass and train my face into a trustworthy state of discipline。
〃Coarse melodrama!〃 Mrs。 Tenbruggen declared。 〃Mere sensation。 No
analysis of character。 A made…up story!〃
〃Well made up; surely?〃 I answered。
〃I don't agree with you。〃 Her voice was not quite so steady as
usual。 She asked suddenly if my clock was rightand declared
that she should be late for an appointment。 On taking leave she
pressed my hand stronglyeyed me with distrustful attention and
said; very emphatically: 〃Take care of yourself; Helena; pray
take care of yourself。〃
I am afraid I did a very foolish thing when I showed her the
poisoning story。 Has it helped the wily old creature to look into
my inmost thoughts?
Impossible!
To…day; Miss Jillgall returned; looking hideously healthy and
spitefully cheerful。 Although she tried to conceal it; while I
was present; I could see that Philip had recovered his place in
her favor。 After what he had said to her behind the hedge at the
farm; she would be relieved from all fear of my becoming his
wife; and would joyfully anticipate his marriage to Eunice。 There
are thoughts in me which I don't set down in my book。 I only say:
We shall see。
This afternoon; I decided on visiting the doctor。 The servant was
quite sorry for me when he answered the door。 His master had just
left the house for a round of visits。 I said I would wait。 The
servant was afraid I should find waiting very tedious。 I reminded
him that I could go away if I found it tedious。 At last; the
polite old man left me。
I went into the consulting…room; and read the backs of the
medical books ranged round the walls; and found a volume that
interested me。 There was such curious information in it that I
amused myself by making extracts; using the first sheets of paper
that I could find。 They had printed directions at the top; which
showed that the doctor was accustomed to write his prescriptions
on them。 We had many; too many; of his prescriptions in our
house。
The servant's doubts of my patience proved to have been well
founded。 I got tired of waiting; and went home before the doctor
returned。
From morning to night; nothing has been seen of Mrs。 Tenbruggen
to…day。 Nor has any apology for her neglect of us been received;
fond as she is of writing little notes。 Has that story in my
Diary driven her away? Let me see what to…morrow may bring forth。
To…day has brought forthnothing。 Mrs。 Tenbruggen still keeps
away from us。 It looks as if my Diary had something to do with
the mystery of her absence。
I am not in good spirits to…day。 My nervesif I have such
things; which is more than I know by my own experiencehave been
a little shaken by a horrid dream。 The medical information; which
my thirst for knowledge absorbed in the doctor's consulting…room;
turned traitorarmed itself with the grotesque horrors of
nightmareand so thoroughly frightened me that I was on the
point of being foolish enough to destroy my notes。 I thought
better of it; and my notes are safe under lock and key。
Mr。 Philip Dunboyne is trying to pave the way for his flight from
this house。 He speaks of friends in London; whose interest will
help him to find the employment which is the object of his
ambition。 〃In a few days more;〃 he said; 〃I shall ask for leave
of absence。〃
Instead of looking at me; his eyes wandered to the window; his
fingers played restlessly with his watch…chain while he spoke。 I
thought I would give him a chance; a last chance; of making the
atonement that he owes to me。 This shows shameful weakness; on my
part。 Does my own resolution startle me? Or does the wretch
appealto what? To my pity? It cannot be my love; I am
positively sure that I hate him。 Well; I am not the first girl
who had been an unanswerable riddle to herself。
〃Is there any other motive for your departure?〃 I asked。
〃What other motive can there be?〃 he replied。 I put wh