第 41 节
作者:小秋      更新:2021-03-11 17:56      字数:9322
  〃We shall see;〃 she replied。 〃Sooner or later; you will find
  yourself saying a kind word to my father for Philip and me。〃 She
  rose; and took a turn in the roomand stopped; eying me
  attentively。 〃Are you thinking of Eunice?〃 she asked。
  〃Yes。〃
  〃She has your sympathy; I suppose?〃
  〃My heart…felt sympathy。〃
  〃I needn't ask how I stand in your estimation; after that。 Pray
  express yourself freely。 Your looks confess ityou view me with
  a feeling of aversion。〃
  〃I view you with a feeling of horror。〃
  The exasperating influences of her language; her looks; and her
  tones would; as I venture to think; have got to the end of
  another man's self…control before this。 Anyway; she had at last
  irritated me into speaking as strongly as I felt。 What I said had
  been so plainly (perhaps so rudely) expressed; that
  misinterpretation of it seemed to be impossible。 She mistook me;
  nevertheless。 The most merciless disclosure of the dreary side of
  human destiny is surely to be found in the failure of words;
  spoken or written; so to answer their purpose that we can trust
  them; in our attempts to communicate with each other。 Even when
  he seems to be connected; by the nearest and dearest relations;
  with his fellow…mortals; what a solitary creature; tried by the
  test of sympathy; the human being really is in the teeming world
  that he inhabits! Affording one more example of the impotence of
  human language to speak for itself; my misinterpreted words had
  found their way to the one sensitive place in Helena Gracedieu's
  impenetrable nature。 She betrayed it in the quivering and
  flushing of her hard face; and in the appeal to the looking…glass
  which escaped her eyes the next moment。 My hasty reply had roused
  the idea of a covert insult addressed to her handsome face。 In
  other words; I had wounded her vanity。 Driven by resentment; out
  came the secret distrust of me which had been lurking in that
  cold heart; from the moment when we first met。
  〃I inspire you with horror; and Eunice inspires you with
  compassion;〃 she said。 〃That; Mr。 Governor; is not natural。〃
  〃May I ask why?〃
  〃You know why。〃
  〃No。〃
  〃You will have it?〃
  〃I want an explanation; Miss Helena; if that is what you mean。〃
  〃Take your explanation; then! You are not the stranger you are
  said to be to my sister and to me。 Your interest in Eunice is a
  personal interest of some kind。 I don't pretend to guess what it
  is。 As for myself; it is plain that somebody else has been
  setting you against me; before Miss Jillgall got possession of
  your private ear。〃
  In alluding to Eunice; she had blundered; strangely enough; on
  something like the truth。 But when she spoke of herself; the
  headlong malignity of her suspicionsmaking every allowance for
  the anger that had hurried her into themseemed to call for some
  little protest against a false assertion。 I told her that she was
  completely mistaken。
  〃I am completely right;〃 she answered; 〃I saw it。〃
  〃Saw what?〃
  〃Saw you pretending to be a stranger to me。〃
  〃When did I do that?〃
  〃You did it when we met at the station。〃
  The reply was too ridiculous for the preservation of any control
  over my own sense of humor。 It was wrong; but it was
  inevitableI laughed。 She looked at me with a fury; revealing a
  concentration of evil passion in her which I had not seen yet。 I
  asked her pardon; I begged her to think a little before she
  persisted in taking a view of my conduct unworthy of her; and
  unjust to myself。
  〃Unjust to You!〃 she burst out。 〃Who are you? A man who has
  driven your trade has spies always at his commandyes! and knows
  how to use them。 You were primed with private informationyou
  had; for all I know; a stolen photograph of me in your
  pocketbefore ever you came to our town。 Do you still deny it?
  Oh; sir; why degrade yourself by telling a lie?〃
  No such outrage as this had ever been inflicted on me; at any
  time in my life。 My forbearance must; I suppose; have been more
  severely tried than I was aware of myself。 With or without excuse
  for me; I was weak enough to let a girl's spiteful tongue sting
  me; and; worse still; to let her see that I felt it。
  〃You shall have no second opportunity; Miss Gracedieu; of
  insulting me。〃 With that foolish reply; I opened the door
  violently and went out。
  She ran after me; triumphing in having roused the temper of a man
  old enough to have been her grandfather; and caught me by the
  arm。 〃Your own conduct has exposed you。〃 (That was literally how
  she expressed herself。) 〃I saw it in your eyes when we met at the
  station。 You; the strangeryou who allowed poor ignorant me to
  introduce myselfyou knew me all the time; knew me by sight!〃
  I shook her hand off with an inconsiderable roughness;
  humiliating to remember。 〃It's false!〃 I cried。 〃I knew you by
  your likeness to your mother。〃
  The moment the words had passed my lips; I came to my senses
  again; I remembered what fatal words they might prove to be; if
  they reached the Minister's ears。
  Heard only by his daughter; my reply seemed to cool the heat of
  her anger in an instant。
  〃So you knew my mother?〃 she said。 〃My father never told us that;
  when he spoke of your being such a very old friend of his。
  Strange; to say the least of it。〃
  I was wise enoughnow when wisdom had come too latenot to
  attempt to explain myself; and not to give her an opportunity of
  saying more。 〃We are neither of us in a state of mind;〃 I
  answered; 〃to allow this interview to continue。 I must try to
  recover my composure; and I leave you to do the same。〃
  In the solitude of my room; I was able to look my position fairly
  in the face。
  Mr。 Gracedieu's wife had come to me; in the long…past time;
  without her husband's knowledge。 Tempted to a cruel resolve by
  the maternal triumph of having an infant of her own; she had
  resolved to rid herself of the poor little rival in her husband's
  fatherly affection; by consigning the adopted child to the
  keeping of a charitable asylum。 She had dared to ask me to help
  her。 I had kept the secret of her shameful visitI can honestly
  say; for the Minister's sake。 And now; long after time had doomed
  those events to oblivion; they were revivedand revived by me。
  Thanks to my folly; Mr。 Gracedieu's daughter knew what I had
  concealed from Mr。 Gracedieu himself。
  What course did respect for my friend; and respect for myself;
  counsel me to take?
  I could only see before me a choice of two evils。 To wait for
  eventswith the too certain prospect of a vindictive betrayal of
  my indiscretion by Helena Gracedieu。 Or to take the initiative
  into my own hands; and risk consequences which I might regret to
  the end of my life; by making my confession to the Minister。
  Before I had decided; somebody knocked at the door。 It was the
  maid…servant again。 Was it possible she had been sent by Helena?
  〃Another message?〃
  〃Yes; sir。 My master wishes to see you。〃
  CHAPTER XXXVIII。
  THE GIRLS' AGES。
  HAD the Minister's desire to see me been inspired by his
  daughter's betrayal of what I had unfortunately said to her?
  Although he would certainly not consent to receive her
  personally; she would be at liberty to adopt a written method of
  communication with him; and the letter might be addressed in such
  a manner as to pique his curiosity。 If Helena's vindictive
  purpose had been already accomplishedand if Mr。 Gracedieu left
  me no alternative but to present his unworthy wife in her true
  characterI can honestly say that I dreaded the consequences;
  not as they might affect myself; but as they might affect my
  unhappy friend in his enfeebled state of body and mind。
  When I entered his room; he was still in bed。
  The bed…curtains were so drawn; on the side nearest to the
  window; as to keep the light from falling too brightly on his
  weak eyes。 In the shadow thus thrown on him; it was not possible
  to see his face plainly enough; from the open side of the bed; to
  arrive at any definite conclusion as to what might be passing in
  his mind。 After having been awake for some hours during the
  earlier part of the night; he had enjoyed a long and undisturbed
  sleep。 〃I feel stronger this morning;〃 he said; 〃and I wish to
  speak to you while my mind is clear。〃
  If the quiet tone of his voice was not an assumed tone; he was
  surely ignorant of all that had passed between his daughter and
  myself。
  〃Eunice will be here soon;〃 he proceeded; 〃and I ought to explain
  why I have sent for her to come and meet you。 I have reasons;
  serious reasons; mind; for wishing you to compare her personal
  appearance with Helena's personal appearance; and then to tell me
  which of the two; on a fair comparison; looks the eldest。 Pray
  bear in mind that I attach the greatest importance to the
  conclusion at which you may arrive。〃
  He spoke more clearly and collectedly than I had heard him speak
  yet。
  Here and there I detected hesitations and repetitions; which I
  have purposely passed over。 The substance of what he said to me
  is all that I shall present in this place。 Careful as I have been
  to keep my record of events within strict limits; I have written
  at a length which I was far indeed from contemplating when I
  accepted Mr。 Gracedieu's invitation。
  Having promised to co