第 41 节
作者:
小秋 更新:2021-03-11 17:56 字数:9322
〃We shall see;〃 she replied。 〃Sooner or later; you will find
yourself saying a kind word to my father for Philip and me。〃 She
rose; and took a turn in the roomand stopped; eying me
attentively。 〃Are you thinking of Eunice?〃 she asked。
〃Yes。〃
〃She has your sympathy; I suppose?〃
〃My heart…felt sympathy。〃
〃I needn't ask how I stand in your estimation; after that。 Pray
express yourself freely。 Your looks confess ityou view me with
a feeling of aversion。〃
〃I view you with a feeling of horror。〃
The exasperating influences of her language; her looks; and her
tones would; as I venture to think; have got to the end of
another man's self…control before this。 Anyway; she had at last
irritated me into speaking as strongly as I felt。 What I said had
been so plainly (perhaps so rudely) expressed; that
misinterpretation of it seemed to be impossible。 She mistook me;
nevertheless。 The most merciless disclosure of the dreary side of
human destiny is surely to be found in the failure of words;
spoken or written; so to answer their purpose that we can trust
them; in our attempts to communicate with each other。 Even when
he seems to be connected; by the nearest and dearest relations;
with his fellow…mortals; what a solitary creature; tried by the
test of sympathy; the human being really is in the teeming world
that he inhabits! Affording one more example of the impotence of
human language to speak for itself; my misinterpreted words had
found their way to the one sensitive place in Helena Gracedieu's
impenetrable nature。 She betrayed it in the quivering and
flushing of her hard face; and in the appeal to the looking…glass
which escaped her eyes the next moment。 My hasty reply had roused
the idea of a covert insult addressed to her handsome face。 In
other words; I had wounded her vanity。 Driven by resentment; out
came the secret distrust of me which had been lurking in that
cold heart; from the moment when we first met。
〃I inspire you with horror; and Eunice inspires you with
compassion;〃 she said。 〃That; Mr。 Governor; is not natural。〃
〃May I ask why?〃
〃You know why。〃
〃No。〃
〃You will have it?〃
〃I want an explanation; Miss Helena; if that is what you mean。〃
〃Take your explanation; then! You are not the stranger you are
said to be to my sister and to me。 Your interest in Eunice is a
personal interest of some kind。 I don't pretend to guess what it
is。 As for myself; it is plain that somebody else has been
setting you against me; before Miss Jillgall got possession of
your private ear。〃
In alluding to Eunice; she had blundered; strangely enough; on
something like the truth。 But when she spoke of herself; the
headlong malignity of her suspicionsmaking every allowance for
the anger that had hurried her into themseemed to call for some
little protest against a false assertion。 I told her that she was
completely mistaken。
〃I am completely right;〃 she answered; 〃I saw it。〃
〃Saw what?〃
〃Saw you pretending to be a stranger to me。〃
〃When did I do that?〃
〃You did it when we met at the station。〃
The reply was too ridiculous for the preservation of any control
over my own sense of humor。 It was wrong; but it was
inevitableI laughed。 She looked at me with a fury; revealing a
concentration of evil passion in her which I had not seen yet。 I
asked her pardon; I begged her to think a little before she
persisted in taking a view of my conduct unworthy of her; and
unjust to myself。
〃Unjust to You!〃 she burst out。 〃Who are you? A man who has
driven your trade has spies always at his commandyes! and knows
how to use them。 You were primed with private informationyou
had; for all I know; a stolen photograph of me in your
pocketbefore ever you came to our town。 Do you still deny it?
Oh; sir; why degrade yourself by telling a lie?〃
No such outrage as this had ever been inflicted on me; at any
time in my life。 My forbearance must; I suppose; have been more
severely tried than I was aware of myself。 With or without excuse
for me; I was weak enough to let a girl's spiteful tongue sting
me; and; worse still; to let her see that I felt it。
〃You shall have no second opportunity; Miss Gracedieu; of
insulting me。〃 With that foolish reply; I opened the door
violently and went out。
She ran after me; triumphing in having roused the temper of a man
old enough to have been her grandfather; and caught me by the
arm。 〃Your own conduct has exposed you。〃 (That was literally how
she expressed herself。) 〃I saw it in your eyes when we met at the
station。 You; the strangeryou who allowed poor ignorant me to
introduce myselfyou knew me all the time; knew me by sight!〃
I shook her hand off with an inconsiderable roughness;
humiliating to remember。 〃It's false!〃 I cried。 〃I knew you by
your likeness to your mother。〃
The moment the words had passed my lips; I came to my senses
again; I remembered what fatal words they might prove to be; if
they reached the Minister's ears。
Heard only by his daughter; my reply seemed to cool the heat of
her anger in an instant。
〃So you knew my mother?〃 she said。 〃My father never told us that;
when he spoke of your being such a very old friend of his。
Strange; to say the least of it。〃
I was wise enoughnow when wisdom had come too latenot to
attempt to explain myself; and not to give her an opportunity of
saying more。 〃We are neither of us in a state of mind;〃 I
answered; 〃to allow this interview to continue。 I must try to
recover my composure; and I leave you to do the same。〃
In the solitude of my room; I was able to look my position fairly
in the face。
Mr。 Gracedieu's wife had come to me; in the long…past time;
without her husband's knowledge。 Tempted to a cruel resolve by
the maternal triumph of having an infant of her own; she had
resolved to rid herself of the poor little rival in her husband's
fatherly affection; by consigning the adopted child to the
keeping of a charitable asylum。 She had dared to ask me to help
her。 I had kept the secret of her shameful visitI can honestly
say; for the Minister's sake。 And now; long after time had doomed
those events to oblivion; they were revivedand revived by me。
Thanks to my folly; Mr。 Gracedieu's daughter knew what I had
concealed from Mr。 Gracedieu himself。
What course did respect for my friend; and respect for myself;
counsel me to take?
I could only see before me a choice of two evils。 To wait for
eventswith the too certain prospect of a vindictive betrayal of
my indiscretion by Helena Gracedieu。 Or to take the initiative
into my own hands; and risk consequences which I might regret to
the end of my life; by making my confession to the Minister。
Before I had decided; somebody knocked at the door。 It was the
maid…servant again。 Was it possible she had been sent by Helena?
〃Another message?〃
〃Yes; sir。 My master wishes to see you。〃
CHAPTER XXXVIII。
THE GIRLS' AGES。
HAD the Minister's desire to see me been inspired by his
daughter's betrayal of what I had unfortunately said to her?
Although he would certainly not consent to receive her
personally; she would be at liberty to adopt a written method of
communication with him; and the letter might be addressed in such
a manner as to pique his curiosity。 If Helena's vindictive
purpose had been already accomplishedand if Mr。 Gracedieu left
me no alternative but to present his unworthy wife in her true
characterI can honestly say that I dreaded the consequences;
not as they might affect myself; but as they might affect my
unhappy friend in his enfeebled state of body and mind。
When I entered his room; he was still in bed。
The bed…curtains were so drawn; on the side nearest to the
window; as to keep the light from falling too brightly on his
weak eyes。 In the shadow thus thrown on him; it was not possible
to see his face plainly enough; from the open side of the bed; to
arrive at any definite conclusion as to what might be passing in
his mind。 After having been awake for some hours during the
earlier part of the night; he had enjoyed a long and undisturbed
sleep。 〃I feel stronger this morning;〃 he said; 〃and I wish to
speak to you while my mind is clear。〃
If the quiet tone of his voice was not an assumed tone; he was
surely ignorant of all that had passed between his daughter and
myself。
〃Eunice will be here soon;〃 he proceeded; 〃and I ought to explain
why I have sent for her to come and meet you。 I have reasons;
serious reasons; mind; for wishing you to compare her personal
appearance with Helena's personal appearance; and then to tell me
which of the two; on a fair comparison; looks the eldest。 Pray
bear in mind that I attach the greatest importance to the
conclusion at which you may arrive。〃
He spoke more clearly and collectedly than I had heard him speak
yet。
Here and there I detected hesitations and repetitions; which I
have purposely passed over。 The substance of what he said to me
is all that I shall present in this place。 Careful as I have been
to keep my record of events within strict limits; I have written
at a length which I was far indeed from contemplating when I
accepted Mr。 Gracedieu's invitation。
Having promised to co