第 38 节
作者:小秋      更新:2021-03-11 17:56      字数:9322
  harmless life of the victim? Or could we; on the other hand;
  encourage the ruthless deceit; the hateful treachery; which had
  put the wicked Helenawith no exposure to dread if _she_
  marriedinto her wronged sister's place? Impossible! In the one
  case as in the other; impossible!
  Equally hopeless did the prospect appear; when I tried to
  determine what my own individual course of action ought to be。
  In my calmer moments; the idea had occurred to my mind of going
  to Dunboyne the younger; and; if he had any sense of shame left;
  exerting my influence to lead him back to his betrothed wife。 How
  could I now do this; consistently with my duty to the young man's
  father; knowing what I knew; and not forgetting that I had myself
  advised Mr。 Gracedieu to keep the truth concealed; when I was
  equally ignorant of Philip Dunboyne's parentage and of Helena
  Gracedieu's treachery?
  Even if events so ordered it that the marriage of Eunice might
  yet take placewithout any interference exerted to produce that
  result; one way or the other; on my partit would be just as
  impossible for me to speak out now; as it had been in the
  long…past years when I had so cautiously answered Mr。 Dunboyne's
  letter。 But what would he think of me if accident led; sooner or
  later; to the disclosure which I had felt bound to conceal? The
  more I tried to forecast the chances of the future; the darker
  and the darker was the view that faced me。
  To my sinking heart and wearied mind; good Dame Nature presented
  a more acceptable prospect; when I happened to look out of the
  window of my room。 There I saw the trees and flowerbeds of a
  garden; tempting me irresistibly under the cloudless sunshine of
  a fine day。 I was on my way out; to recover heart and hope; when
  a knock at the door stopped me。
  Had Miss Jillgall returned? When I said 〃Come in;〃 Mr。 Gracedieu
  opened the door; and entered the room。
  He was so weak that he staggered as he approached me。 Leading him
  to a chair; I noticed a wild look in his eyes; and a flush on his
  haggard cheeks。 Something had happened。
  〃When you were with me in my room;〃 he began; 〃did I not tell you
  that I had forgotten something?〃
  〃Certainly you did。〃
  〃Well; I have found the lost remembrance。 My misfortuneI ought
  to call it the punishment for my sins; is recalled to me now。 The
  worst curse that can fall on a father is the curse that has come
  to me。 I have a wicked daughter。 My own child; sir! my own
  child!〃
  Had he been awake; while Miss Jillgall and I had been talking
  outside his door? Had he heard her ask me if Mr。 Gracedieu had
  said nothing of Helena's infamous conduct to her sister; while he
  was speaking of Eunice? The way to the lost remembrance had
  perhaps been found there。 In any case; after that bitter allusion
  to his 〃wicked daughter〃 some result must follow。 Helena
  Gracedieu and a day of reckoning might be nearer to each other
  already than I had ventured to hope。
  I waited anxiously for what he might say to me next。
  CHAPTER XXXVI。
  THE WANDERING MIND。
  FOR the moment; the Minister disappointed me。
  Without speaking; without even looking up; he took out his
  pocketbook; and began to write in it。 Constantly interrupted
  either by a trembling in the hand that held the pencil; or by a
  difficulty (as I imagined) in expressing thoughts imperfectly
  realizedhis patience gave way; he dashed the book on the floor。
  〃My mind is gone!〃 he burst out。 〃Oh; Father in Heaven; let death
  deliver me from a body without a mind!〃
  Who could hear him; and be guilty of the cruelty of preaching
  self…control? I picked up the pocketbook; and offered to help
  him。
  〃Do you think you can?〃 he asked。
  〃I can at least try。〃
  〃Good fellow! What should I do without you? See now; here is my
  difficulty。 I have got so many things to say; I want to separate
  themor else they will all run into each other。 Look at the
  book;〃 my poor friend said mournfully; 〃they have run into each
  other in spite of me。〃
  The entries proved to be nearly incomprehensible。 Here and there
  I discovered some scattered words; which showed themselves more
  or less distinctly in the midst of the surrounding confusion。 The
  first word that I could make out was 〃Education。〃 Helped by that
  hint; I trusted to guess…work to guide me in speaking to him。 It
  was necessary to be positive; or he would have lost all faith in
  me。
  〃Well?〃 he said impatiently。
  〃Well;〃 I answered; 〃you have something to say to me about the
  education which you have given to your daughters。〃
  〃Don't put them together!〃 he cried。 〃Dear; patient; sweet Eunice
  must not be confounded with that she…devil〃
  〃Hush; hush; Mr。 Gracedieu! Badly as Miss Helena has behaved; she
  is your own child。〃
  〃I repudiate her; sir! Think for a moment of what she has
  doneand then think of the religious education that I have given
  her。 Heartless! Deceitful! The most ignorant creature in the
  lowest dens of this town could have done nothing more basely
  cruel。 And this; after years on years of patient Christian
  instruction on my part! What is religion? What is education? I
  read a horrible book once (I forget who was the author); it
  called religion superstition; and education empty form。 I don't
  know; upon my word I don't know that the book may notOh; my
  tongue! Why don't I keep a guard over my tongue? Are you a
  father; too? Don't interrupt me。 Put yourself in my place; and
  think of it。 Heartless; deceitful; and _my_ daughter。 Give me the
  pocketbook; I want to see which memorandum comes first。〃
  He had now wrought himself into a state of excitement; which
  relieved his spirits of the depression that had weighed on them
  up to this time。 His harmless vanity; always; as I suspect; a
  latent quality in his kindly nature; had already restored his
  confidence。 With a self…sufficient smile he consulted his own
  unintelligible entries; and made his own wild discoveries。
  〃Ah; yes; 'M' stands for Minister; I come first。 Am I to blame?
  Am IGod forgive me my many sinsam I heartless? Am I
  deceitful?〃
  〃My good friend; not even your enemies could say that!〃
  〃Thank you。 Who comes next?〃 He consulted the book again。 〃Her
  mother; her sainted mother; comes next。 People say she is like
  her mother。 Was my wife heartless? Was the angel of my life
  deceitful?〃
  (〃That;〃 I thought to myself; 〃is exactly what your wife wasand
  exactly what reappears in your wife's child。〃)
  〃Where does her wickedness come from?〃 he went on。 〃Not from her
  mother; not from me; not from a neglected education。〃 He suddenly
  stepped up to me and laid his hands on my shoulders; his voice
  dropped to hoarse; moaning; awestruck tones。 〃Shall I tell you
  what it is? A possession of the devil。〃
  It was so evidently desirable to prevent any continuation of such
  a train of thought as this; that I could feel no hesitation in
  interrupting him。
  〃Will you hear what I have to say?〃 I asked bluntly。
  His humor changed again; he made me a low bow; and went back to
  his chair。 〃I will hear you with pleasure;〃 he answered politely。
  〃You are the most eloquent man I know; with one
  exceptionmyself。 Of coursemyself。〃
  〃It is mere waste of time;〃 I continued; 〃to regret the excellent
  education which your daughter has misused。〃 Making that reply; I
  was tempted to add another word of truth。 All education is at the
  mercy of two powerful counter…influences: the influence of
  temperament; and the influence of circumstances。 But this was
  philosophy。 How could I expect him to submit to philosophy? 〃What
  we know of Miss Helena;〃 I went on; 〃must be enough for us。 She
  has plotted; and she means to succeed。 Stop her。〃
  〃Just my idea!〃 he declared firmly。 〃I refuse my consent to that
  abominable marriage。〃
  In the popular phrase; I struck while the iron was hot。 〃You must
  do more than that; sir;〃 I told him。
  His vanity suddenly took the alarmI was leading him rather too
  undisguisedly。 He handed his book back to me。 〃You will find;〃 he
  said loftily; 〃that I have put it all down there。〃
  I pretended to find it; and read an imaginary entry to this
  effect: 〃After what she has already done; Helena is capable of
  marrying in defiance of my wishes and commands。 This must be
  considered and provided against。〃 So far; I had succeeded in
  flattering him。 But when (thinking of his paternal authority) I
  alluded next to his daughter's age; his eyes rested on me with a
  look of downright terror。
  〃No more of that!〃 he said。 〃I won't talk of the girls' ages even
  with you。〃
  What did he mean? It was useless to ask。 I went on with the
  matter in handstill deliberately speaking to him; as I might
  have spoken to a man with an intellect as clear as my own。 In my
  experience; this practice generally stimulates a weak
  intelligence to do its best。 We all know how children receive
  talk that is lowered; or books that are lowered; to their
  presumed level。
  〃I shall take it for granted;〃 I continued; 〃that Miss Helena is
  still under your lawful authority。 She can only arrive at her
  ends by means of a runaway marriage。 In that case; much depends
  on the man。 You told me you couldn't help liking him。 This was;
  of course; before you knew of the infamous manner in which he has
  behaved。 You