第 35 节
作者:
小秋 更新:2021-03-11 17:56 字数:9322
this house knows that one of the two girls is not really my
daughter。 Pray stop me; if you find me wandering from the point。
My wish is to show that you are the only man I can open my heart
to。 She〃 He paused; as if in search of a lost idea; and left
the sentence uncompleted。 〃Yes;〃 he went on; 〃I was thinking of
my adopted child。 Did I ever tell you that I baptized her myself?
and by a good Scripture name tooEunice。 Ah; sir; that little
helpless baby is a grown…up girl now; of an age to inspire love;
and to feel love。 I blush to acknowledge it; I have behaved with
a want of self…control; with a cowardly weakness。No! I am;
indeed; wandering this time。 I ought to have told you first that
I have been brought face to face with the possibility of Eunice's
marriage。 And; to make it worse still; I can't help liking the
young man。 He comes of a good familyexcellent manners; highly
educated; plenty of money; a gentleman in every sense of the
word。 And poor little Eunice is so fond of him! Isn't it dreadful
to be obliged to check her dearly…loved Philip? The young
gentleman's name is Philip。 Do you like the name? I say I am
obliged to cheek her sweetheart in the rudest manner; when all he
wants to do is to ask me modestly for my sweet Eunice's hand。 Oh;
what have I not suffered; without a word of sympathy to comfort
me; before I had courage enough to write to you! Shall I make a
dreadful confession? If my religious convictions had not stood in
my way; I believe I should have committed suicide。 Put yourself
in my place。 Try to see yourself shrinking from a necessary
explanation; when the happiness of a harmless girlso dutiful;
so affectionatedepended on a word of kindness from your lips。
And that word you are afraid to speak! Don't take offense; sir; I
mean myself; not you。 Why don't you say something?〃 he burst out
fiercely; incapable of perceiving that he had allowed me no
opportunity of speaking to him。 〃Good God! don't you understand
me; after all?〃
The signs of mental confusion in his talk had so distressed me;
that I had not been composed enough to feel sure of what he
really meant; until he described himself as 〃shrinking from a
necessary explanation。〃 Hearing those words; my knowledge of the
circumstances helped me; I realized what his situation really
was。
〃Compose yourself;〃 I said; 〃I understand you at last。〃
He had suddenly become distrustful。
〃Prove it;〃 he muttered; with a furtive look at me。 〃I want to be
satisfied that you understand my position。〃
〃This is your position;〃 I told him。 〃You are placed between two
deplorable alternatives。 If you tell this young gentleman that
Miss Eunice's mother was a criminal hanged for murder; his
familyeven if he himself doesn't recoil from itwill
unquestionably forbid the marriage; and your adopted daughter's
happiness will be the sacrifice。〃
〃True!〃 he said。 〃Frightfully true! Go on。〃
〃If; on the other hand; you sanction the marriage; and conceal
the truth; you commit a deliberate act of deceit; and you leave
the lives of the young couple at the mercy of a possible
discovery; which might part husband and wifecast a slur on
their childrenand break up the household。〃
He shuddered while he listened to me。 〃Come to the end of it;〃 he
cried。
I had no more to say; and I was obliged to answer him to that
effect。
〃No more to say?〃 he replied。 〃You have not told me yet what I
most want to know。〃
I did a rash thing; I asked what it was that he most wanted to
know。
〃Can't you see it for yourself?〃 he demanded indignantly。
〃Suppose you were put between those two alternatives which you
mentioned just now。〃
〃Well?〃
〃What would you do; sir; in my place? Would you own the
disgraceful truthbefore the marriageor run the risk; and keep
the horrid story to yourself?〃
Either way; my reply might lead to serious consequences。 I
hesitated。
He threatened me with his poor feeble hand。 It was only the anger
of a moment; his humor changed to supplication。 He reminded me
piteously of bygone days: 〃You used to be a kind…hearted man。 Has
age hardened you? Have you no pity left for your old friend? My
poor heart is sadly in want of a word of wisdom; spoken kindly。〃
Who could have resisted this? I took his hand: 〃Be at ease; dear
Minister。 In your place I should run the risk; and keep that
horrid story to myself。〃
He sank back gently in his chair。 〃Oh; the relief of it!〃 he
said。 〃How can I thank you as I ought for quieting my mind?〃
I seized the opportunity of quieting his mind to good purpose by
suggesting a change of subject。 〃Let us have done with serious
talk for the present;〃 I proposed。 〃I have been an idle man for
the last five years; and I want to tell you about my travels。〃
His attention began to wander; he evidently felt no interest in
my travels。 〃Are you sure;〃 he asked anxiously; 〃that we have
said all we ought to say? No!〃 he cried; answering his own
question。 〃I believe I have forgotten somethingI am certain I
have forgotten something。 Perhaps I mentioned it in the letter I
wrote to you。 Have you got my letter?〃
I showed it to him。 He read the letter; and gave it back to me
with a heavy sigh。 〃Not there!〃 he said despairingly。 〃Not
there!〃
〃Is the lost remembrance connected with anybody in the house?〃 I
asked; trying to help him。 〃Does it relate; by any chance; to one
of the young ladies?〃
〃You wonderful man! Nothing escapes you。 Yes; the thing I have
forgotten concerns one of the girls。 Stop! Let me get at it by
myself。 Surely it relates to Helena?〃 He hesitated; his face
clouded over with an expression of anxious thought。 〃Yes; it
relates to Helena;〃 he repeated 〃but how?〃 His eyes filled with
tears。 〃I am ashamed of my weakness;〃 he said faintly。 〃You don't
know how dreadful it is to forget things in this way。〃
The injury that his mind had sustained now assumed an aspect that
was serious indeed。 The subtle machinery; which stimulates the
memory; by means of the association of ideas; appeared to have
lost its working power in the intellect of this unhappy man。 I
made the first suggestion that occurred to me; rather than add to
his distress by remaining silent。
〃If we talk of your daughter;〃 I said; 〃the merest accidenta
word spoken at random by。 you or memay be all your memory wants
to rouse it。〃
He agreed eagerly to this: 〃Yes! Yes! Let me begin。 Helena met
you; I think; at the station。 Of course; I remember that; it only
happened a few hours since。 Well?〃 he went on; with a change in
his manner to parental pride; which it was pleasant to see; 〃did
you think my daughter a fine girl? I hope Helena didn't
disappoint you?〃
〃Quite the contrary。〃 Having made that necessary reply; I saw my
way to keeping his mind occupied by a harmless subject。 〃It must;
however; be owned;〃 I went on; 〃that your daughter surprised me。〃
〃In what way?〃
〃When she mentioned her name。 Who could have supposed that
youan inveterate enemy to the Roman Catholic Churchwould have
christened your daughter by the name of a Roman Catholic Saint?〃
He listened to this with a smile。 Had I happily blundered on some
association which his mind was still able to pursue?
〃You happen to be wrong this time;〃 he said pleasantly。 〃I never
gave my girl the name of Helena; and; what is more; I never
baptized her。 You ought to know that。 Years and years ago; I
wrote to tell you that my poor wife had made me a proud and happy
father。 And surely I said that the child was born while she was
on a visit to her brother's rectory。 Do you remember the name of
the place? I told you it was a remote little village; called
Suppose we put _your_ memory to a test? Can you remember the
name?〃 he asked; with a momentary appearance of triumph showing
itself; poor fellow; in his face。
After the time that had elapsed; the name had slipped my memory。
When I confessed this; he exulted over me; with an unalloyed
pleasure which it was cheering to see。
〃_Your_ memory is failing you now;〃 he said。 〃The name is Long
Lanes。 And what do you think my wife didthis is so
characteristic of her!when I presented myself at her bedside。
Instead of speaking of our own baby; she reminded me of the name
that I had given to our adopted daughter when I baptized the
child。 'You chose the ugliest name that a girl can have;' she
said。 I begged her to remember that 'Eunice' was a name in
Scripture。 She persisted in spite of me。 (What firmness of
character!) 'I detest the name of Eunice!' she said; 'and now
that I have a girl of my own; it's my turn to choose the name; I
claim it as my right。' She was beginning to get excited; I
allowed her to have her own way; of course。 'Only let me know;' I
said; 'what the name is to be when you have thought of it。' My
dear sir; she had the name ready; without thinking about it: 'My
baby shall be called by the name that is sweetest in my ears; the
name of my dear lost mother。' We hadwhat shall I call it?a
slight difference of opinion when I heard that the name was to be
Helena。 I really could _not_ reconcile it to my conscience to
baptize a child of mine by the name of a Popish saint。 My wife's
brother set things right between us。 A worthy good ma