第 35 节
作者:小秋      更新:2021-03-11 17:56      字数:9322
  this house knows that one of the two girls is not really my
  daughter。 Pray stop me; if you find me wandering from the point。
  My wish is to show that you are the only man I can open my heart
  to。 She〃 He paused; as if in search of a lost idea; and left
  the sentence uncompleted。 〃Yes;〃 he went on; 〃I was thinking of
  my adopted child。 Did I ever tell you that I baptized her myself?
  and by a good Scripture name tooEunice。 Ah; sir; that little
  helpless baby is a grown…up girl now; of an age to inspire love;
  and to feel love。 I blush to acknowledge it; I have behaved with
  a want of self…control; with a cowardly weakness。No! I am;
  indeed; wandering this time。 I ought to have told you first that
  I have been brought face to face with the possibility of Eunice's
  marriage。 And; to make it worse still; I can't help liking the
  young man。 He comes of a good familyexcellent manners; highly
  educated; plenty of money; a gentleman in every sense of the
  word。 And poor little Eunice is so fond of him! Isn't it dreadful
  to be obliged to check her dearly…loved Philip? The young
  gentleman's name is Philip。 Do you like the name? I say I am
  obliged to cheek her sweetheart in the rudest manner; when all he
  wants to do is to ask me modestly for my sweet Eunice's hand。 Oh;
  what have I not suffered; without a word of sympathy to comfort
  me; before I had courage enough to write to you! Shall I make a
  dreadful confession? If my religious convictions had not stood in
  my way; I believe I should have committed suicide。 Put yourself
  in my place。 Try to see yourself shrinking from a necessary
  explanation; when the happiness of a harmless girlso dutiful;
  so affectionatedepended on a word of kindness from your lips。
  And that word you are afraid to speak! Don't take offense; sir; I
  mean myself; not you。 Why don't you say something?〃 he burst out
  fiercely; incapable of perceiving that he had allowed me no
  opportunity of speaking to him。 〃Good God! don't you understand
  me; after all?〃
  The signs of mental confusion in his talk had so distressed me;
  that I had not been composed enough to feel sure of what he
  really meant; until he described himself as 〃shrinking from a
  necessary explanation。〃 Hearing those words; my knowledge of the
  circumstances helped me; I realized what his situation really
  was。
  〃Compose yourself;〃 I said; 〃I understand you at last。〃
  He had suddenly become distrustful。
  〃Prove it;〃 he muttered; with a furtive look at me。 〃I want to be
  satisfied that you understand my position。〃
  〃This is your position;〃 I told him。 〃You are placed between two
  deplorable alternatives。 If you tell this young gentleman that
  Miss Eunice's mother was a criminal hanged for murder; his
  familyeven if he himself doesn't recoil from itwill
  unquestionably forbid the marriage; and your adopted daughter's
  happiness will be the sacrifice。〃
  〃True!〃 he said。 〃Frightfully true! Go on。〃
  〃If; on the other hand; you sanction the marriage; and conceal
  the truth; you commit a deliberate act of deceit; and you leave
  the lives of the young couple at the mercy of a possible
  discovery; which might part husband and wifecast a slur on
  their childrenand break up the household。〃
  He shuddered while he listened to me。 〃Come to the end of it;〃 he
  cried。
  I had no more to say; and I was obliged to answer him to that
  effect。
  〃No more to say?〃 he replied。 〃You have not told me yet what I
  most want to know。〃
  I did a rash thing; I asked what it was that he most wanted to
  know。
  〃Can't you see it for yourself?〃 he demanded indignantly。
  〃Suppose you were put between those two alternatives which you
  mentioned just now。〃
  〃Well?〃
  〃What would you do; sir; in my place? Would you own the
  disgraceful truthbefore the marriageor run the risk; and keep
  the horrid story to yourself?〃
  Either way; my reply might lead to serious consequences。 I
  hesitated。
  He threatened me with his poor feeble hand。 It was only the anger
  of a moment;  his humor changed to supplication。 He reminded me
  piteously of bygone days: 〃You used to be a kind…hearted man。 Has
  age hardened you? Have you no pity left for your old friend? My
  poor heart is sadly in want of a word of wisdom; spoken kindly。〃
  Who could have resisted this? I took his hand: 〃Be at ease; dear
  Minister。 In your place I should run the risk; and keep that
  horrid story to myself。〃
  He sank back gently in his chair。 〃Oh; the relief of it!〃 he
  said。 〃How can I thank you as I ought for quieting my mind?〃
  I seized the opportunity of quieting his mind to good purpose by
  suggesting a change of subject。 〃Let us have done with serious
  talk for the present;〃 I proposed。 〃I have been an idle man for
  the last five years; and I want to tell you about my travels。〃
  His attention began to wander; he evidently felt no interest in
  my travels。 〃Are you sure;〃 he asked anxiously; 〃that we have
  said all we ought to say? No!〃 he cried; answering his own
  question。 〃I believe I have forgotten somethingI am certain I
  have forgotten something。 Perhaps I mentioned it in the letter I
  wrote to you。 Have you got my letter?〃
  I showed it to him。 He read the letter; and gave it back to me
  with a heavy sigh。 〃Not there!〃 he said despairingly。 〃Not
  there!〃
  〃Is the lost remembrance connected with anybody in the house?〃 I
  asked; trying to help him。 〃Does it relate; by any chance; to one
  of the young ladies?〃
  〃You wonderful man! Nothing escapes you。 Yes; the thing I have
  forgotten concerns one of the girls。 Stop! Let me get at it by
  myself。 Surely it relates to Helena?〃 He hesitated; his face
  clouded over with an expression of anxious thought。 〃Yes; it
  relates to Helena;〃 he repeated 〃but how?〃 His eyes filled with
  tears。 〃I am ashamed of my weakness;〃 he said faintly。 〃You don't
  know how dreadful it is to forget things in this way。〃
  The injury that his mind had sustained now assumed an aspect that
  was serious indeed。 The subtle machinery; which stimulates the
  memory; by means of the association of ideas; appeared to have
  lost its working power in the intellect of this unhappy man。 I
  made the first suggestion that occurred to me; rather than add to
  his distress by remaining silent。
  〃If we talk of your daughter;〃 I said; 〃the merest accidenta
  word spoken at random by。 you or memay be all your memory wants
  to rouse it。〃
  He agreed eagerly to this: 〃Yes! Yes! Let me begin。 Helena met
  you; I think; at the station。 Of course; I remember that; it only
  happened a few hours since。 Well?〃 he went on; with a change in
  his manner to parental pride; which it was pleasant to see; 〃did
  you think my daughter a fine girl? I hope Helena didn't
  disappoint you?〃
  〃Quite the contrary。〃 Having made that necessary reply; I saw my
  way to keeping his mind occupied by a harmless subject。 〃It must;
  however; be owned;〃 I went on; 〃that your daughter surprised me。〃
  〃In what way?〃
  〃When she mentioned her name。 Who could have supposed that
  youan inveterate enemy to the Roman Catholic Churchwould have
  christened your daughter by the name of a Roman Catholic Saint?〃
  He listened to this with a smile。 Had I happily blundered on some
  association which his mind was still able to pursue?
  〃You happen to be wrong this time;〃 he said pleasantly。 〃I never
  gave my girl the name of Helena; and; what is more; I never
  baptized her。 You ought to know that。 Years and years ago; I
  wrote to tell you that my poor wife had made me a proud and happy
  father。 And surely I said that the child was born while she was
  on a visit to her brother's rectory。 Do you remember the name of
  the place? I told you it was a remote little village; called
  Suppose we put _your_ memory to a test? Can you remember the
  name?〃 he asked; with a momentary appearance of triumph showing
  itself; poor fellow; in his face。
  After the time that had elapsed; the name had slipped my memory。
  When I confessed this; he exulted over me; with an unalloyed
  pleasure which it was cheering to see。
  〃_Your_ memory is failing you now;〃 he said。 〃The name is Long
  Lanes。 And what do you think my wife didthis is so
  characteristic of her!when I presented myself at her bedside。
  Instead of speaking of our own baby; she reminded me of the name
  that I had given to our adopted daughter when I baptized the
  child。 'You chose the ugliest name that a girl can have;' she
  said。 I begged her to remember that 'Eunice' was a name in
  Scripture。 She persisted in spite of me。 (What firmness of
  character!) 'I detest the name of Eunice!' she said; 'and now
  that I have a girl of my own; it's my turn to choose the name; I
  claim it as my right。' She was beginning to get excited; I
  allowed her to have her own way; of course。 'Only let me know;' I
  said; 'what the name is to be when you have thought of it。' My
  dear sir; she had the name ready; without thinking about it: 'My
  baby shall be called by the name that is sweetest in my ears; the
  name of my dear lost mother。' We hadwhat shall I call it?a
  slight difference of opinion when I heard that the name was to be
  Helena。 I really could _not_ reconcile it to my conscience to
  baptize a child of mine by the name of a Popish saint。 My wife's
  brother set things right between us。 A worthy good ma