cried　and　laughed　and　choked　all　at　once。　　The　story　was　wrought
  out　with　the　help　of　a　virtuous　spinning…wheel　in　the　beginning；　a
  vicious　set　of　diamonds　in　the　middle；　and　a　rheumatic　blessing
  （which　arrived　by　post）　from　Ma　Mere　towards　the　end；　the　whole
  resulting　in　a　small　sword　in　the　body　of　one　of　the　stout
  gentlemen　imperfectly　repressed　by　a　belt；　fifty　thousand　francs
  per　annum　and　a　decoration　to　the　other　stout　gentleman　imperfectly
  repressed　by　a　belt；　and　an　assurance　from　everybody　to　the
  provincial　young　man　that　if　he　were　not　supremely　happy　…　which　he
  seemed　to　have　no　reason　whatever　for　being　…　he　ought　to　be。　　This
  afforded　him　a　final　opportunity　of　crying　and　laughing　and　choking
  all　at　once；　and　sent　the　audience　home　sentimentally　delighted。
  Audience　more　attentive　or　better　behaved　there　could　not　possibly
  be；　though　the　places　of　second　rank　in　the　Theatre　of　the　Family
  P。　Salcy　were　sixpence　each　in　English　money；　and　the　places　of
  first　rank　a　shilling。　　How　the　fifteen　subjects　ever　got　so　fat
  upon　it；　the　kind　Heavens　know。
  What　gorgeous　china　figures　of　knights　and　ladies；　gilded　till　they
  gleamed　again；　I　might　have　bought　at　the　Fair　for　the　garniture　of
  my　home；　if　I　had　been　a　French…Flemish　peasant；　and　had　had　the
  money！　　What　shining　coffee…cups　and　saucers　I　might　have　won　at
  the　turntables；　if　I　had　had　the　luck！　　Ravishing　perfumery　also；
  and　sweetmeats；　I　might　have　speculated　in；　or　I　might　have　fired
  for　prizes　at　a　multitude　of　little　dolls　in　niches；　and　might　have
  hit　the　doll　of　dolls；　and　won　francs　and　fame。　　Or；　being　a
  French…Flemish　youth；　I　might　have　been　drawn　in　a　hand…cart　by　my
  compeers；　to　tilt　for　municipal　rewards　at　the　water…quintain；
  which；　unless　I　sent　my　lance　clean　through　the　ring；　emptied　a
  full　bucket　over　me；　to　fend　off　which；　the　competitors　wore
  grotesque　old　scarecrow　hats。　　Or；　being　French…Flemish　man　or
  woman；　boy　or　girl；　I　might　have　circled　all　night　on　my　hobby…
  horse　in　a　stately　cavalcade　of　hobby…horses　four　abreast；
  interspersed　with　triumphal　cars；　going　round　and　round　and　round
  and　round；　we　the　goodly　company　singing　a　ceaseless　chorus　to　the
  music　of　the　barrel…organ；　drum；　and　cymbals。　　On　the　whole；　not
  more　monotonous　than　the　Ring　in　Hyde　Park；　London；　and　much
  merrier；　for　when　do　the　circling　company　sing　chorus；　THERE；　to
  the　barrel…organ；　when　do　the　ladies　embrace　their　horses　round　the
  neck　with　both　arms；　when　do　the　gentlemen　fan　the　ladies　with　the
  tails　of　their　gallant　steeds？　　On　all　these　revolving　delights；
  and　on　their　own　especial　lamps　and　Chinese　lanterns　revolving　with
  them；　the　thoughtful　weaver…face　brightens；　and　the　Hotel　de　Ville
  sheds　an　illuminated　line　of　gaslight：　　while　above　it；　the　Eagle
  of　France；　gas…outlined　and　apparently　afflicted　with　the
  prevailing　infirmities　that　have　lighted　on　the　poultry；　is　in　a
  very　undecided　state　of　policy；　and　as　a　bird　moulting。　　Flags
  flutter　all　around。　　Such　is　the　prevailing　gaiety　that　the　keeper
  of　the　prison　sits　on　the　stone　steps　outside　the　prison…door；　to
  have　a　look　at　the　world　that　is　not　locked　up；　while　that
  agreeable　retreat；　the　wine…shop　opposite　to　the　prison　in　the
  prison…alley　（its　sign　La　Tranquillite；　because　of　its　charming
  situation）；　resounds　with　the　voices　of　the　shepherds　and
  shepherdesses　who　resort　there　this　festive　night。　　And　it　reminds
  me　that　only　this　afternoon；　I　saw　a　shepherd　in　trouble；　tending
  this　way；　over　the　jagged　stones　of　a　neighbouring　street。　　A
  magnificent　sight　it　was；　to　behold　him　in　his　blouse；　a　feeble
  little　jog…trot　rustic；　swept　along　by　the　wind　of　two　immense
  gendarmes；　in　cocked…hats　for　which　the　street　was　hardly　wide
  enough；　each　carrying　a　bundle　of　stolen　property　that　would　not
  have　held　his　shoulder…knot；　and　clanking　a　sabre　that　dwarfed　the
  prisoner。
  'Messieurs　et　Mesdames；　I　present　to　you　at　this　Fair；　as　a　mark　of
  my　confidence　in　the　people　of　this　so…renowned　town；　and　as　an　act
  of　homage　to　their　good　sense　and　fine　taste；　the　Ventriloquist；
  the　Ventriloquist！　　Further；　Messieurs　et　Mesdames；　I　present　to
  you　the　Face…Maker；　the　Physiognomist；　the　great　Changer　of
  Countenances；　who　transforms　the　features　that　Heaven　has　bestowed
  upon　him　into　an　endless　succession　of　surprising　and　extraordinary
  visages；　comprehending；　Messieurs　et　Mesdames；　all　the　contortions；
  energetic　and　expressive；　of　which　the　human　face　is　capable；　and
  all　the　passions　of　the　human　heart；　as　Love；　Jealousy；　Revenge；
  Hatred；　Avarice；　Despair！　　Hi　hi！　　Ho　ho！　　Lu　lu！　　Come　in！'　　To
  this　effect；　with　an　occasional　smite　upon　a　sonorous　kind　of
  tambourine　…　bestowed　with　a　will；　as　if　it　represented　the　people
  who　won't　come　in　…　holds　forth　a　man　of　lofty　and　severe
  demeanour；　a　man　in　stately　uniform；　gloomy　with　the　knowledge　he
  possesses　of　the　inner　secrets　of　the　booth。　　'Come　in；　come　in！
  Your　opportunity　presents　itself　to…night；　to…morrow　it　will　be
  gone　for　ever。　　To…morrow　morning　by　the　Express　Train　the　railroad
  will　reclaim　the　Ventriloquist　and　the　Face…Maker！　　Algeria　will
  reclaim　the　Ventriloquist　and　the　Face…Maker！　　Yes！　　For　the　honour
  of　their　country　they　have　accepted　propositions　of　a　magnitude
  incredible；　to　appear　in　Algeria。　　See　them　for　the　last　time
  before　their　departure！　　We　go　to　commence　on　the　instant。　　Hi　hi！
  Ho　ho！　　Lu　lu！　　Come　in！　　Take　the　money　that　now　ascends；　Madame；
  but　after　that；　no　more；　for　we　commence！　　Come　in！'
  Nevertheless；　the　eyes　both　of　the　gloomy　Speaker　and　of　Madame
  receiving　sous　in　a　muslin　bower；　survey　the　crowd　pretty　sharply
  after　the　ascending　money　has　ascended；　to　detect　any　lingering
  sous　at　the　turning…point。　　'Come　in；　come　in！　　Is　there　any　more
  money；　Madame；　on　the　point　of　ascending？　　If　so；　we　wait　for　it。
  If　not；　we　commence！'　　The　orator　looks　back　over　his　shoulder　to
  say　it；　lashing　the　spectators　with　the　conviction　that　he　beholds
  through　the　folds　of　the　drapery　into　which　he　is　about　to　plunge；
  the　Ventriloquist　and　the　Face…Maker。　　Several　sous　burst　out　of
  pockets；　and　ascend。　　'Come　up；　then；　Messieurs！'　exclaims　Madame
  in　a　shrill　voice；　and　beckoning　with　a　bejewelled　finger。　　'Come
  up！　　This　presses。　　Monsieur　has　commanded　that　they　commence！'
  Monsieur　dives　into　his　Interior；　and　the　last　half…dozen　of　us
  follow。　　His　Interior　is　comparatively　severe；　his　Exterior　also。
  A　true　Temple　of　Art　needs　nothing　but　seats；　drapery；　a　small
  table　with　two　moderator　lamps　hanging　over　it；　and　an　ornamental
  looking…glass　let　into　the　wall。　　Monsieur　in　uniform　gets　behind
  the　table　and　surveys　us　with　disdain；　his　forehead　becoming
  diabolically　intellectual　under　the　moderators。　　'Messieurs　et
  Mesdames；　I　present　to　you　the　Ventriloquist。　　He　will　commence
  with　the　celebrated　Experience　of　the　bee　in　the　window。　　The　bee；
  apparently　the　veritable　bee　of　Nature；　will　hover　in　the　window；
  and　about　the　room。　　He　will　be　with　difficulty　caught　in　the　hand
  of　Monsieur　the　Ventriloquist　…　he　will　escape　…　he　will　again
  hover　…　at　length　he　will　be　recaptured　by　Monsieur　the
  Ventriloquist；　and　will　be　with　difficulty　put　into　a　bottle。
  Achieve　then；　Monsieur！'　　Here　the　proprietor　is　replaced　behind
  the　table　by　the　Ventriloquist；　who　is　thin　and　sallow；　and　of　a
  weakly　aspect。　　While　the　bee　is　in　progress；　Monsieur　the
  Proprietor　sits　apart　on　a　stool；　immersed　in　dark　and　remote
  thought。　　The　moment　the　bee　is　bottled；　he　stalks　forward；　eyes　us
  gloomily　as　we　applaud；　and　then　announces；　sternly　waving　his
  hand：　　'The　magnificent　Experience　of　the　child　with　the　whooping…
  cough！'　　The　child　disposed　of；　he　starts　up　as　before。　　'The
  superb　and　extraordinary　Experience　of　the　dialogue　between
  Monsieur　Tatambour　in　his　dining…room；　and　his　domestic；　Jerome；　in
  the　cellar；　concluding　with　the　songsters　of　the　grove；　and　the
  Concert　of　domestic　Farm…yard　animals。'　　All　this　done；　and　well
  done；　Monsieur　the　Ventriloquist　withdraws；　and　Monsieur　the　Face…
  Maker　bursts　in；　as　if　his　retiring…room　were　a　mile　long　instead
  of　a　yard。　　A　corpulent　little　man　in　a　large　white　waistcoat；　with
  a　comic　countenance；　and　with　a　wig　in　his　hand。　　Irreverent
  disposition　to　laugh；　instantly　checked　by　the　tremendous　gravity
  of　the　Face…Maker；　who　intimates　in　his　bow　that　if　we　expect　that
  sort　of　thing　we　are　mistaken。　　A　very　little　shaving…glass　with　a
  leg　behind　it　is　handed　in；　and　placed　on　the　table　before　the
  Face…Maker。　　'Messieurs　et　Mesdames；　with　no　other　assistance　than
  this　mirror　and　this　wig；　I　shall　have　the　honour　of　showing　you　a
  thousand　characters。'　　As　a　preparation；　the　Face…Maker　with　both
  hands　gouges　himself；　and　turns　his　mouth　inside　out。　　He　then
  becomes　frightfully　grave　again；　and　says　to　the　Proprietor；　'I　am
  ready！'　　Proprietor　stalks　forth　from　baleful　reverie；　and
  announces　'The　Young　Conscript！'　　Face…Maker　c