第 65 节
作者:恐龙王      更新:2021-03-08 19:22      字数:9321
  gave it the additional weight of my uncommercial signature。  To the
  best of my belief; I bound myself to the modest statement that
  universal traffic; happiness; prosperity; and civilisation;
  together with unbounded national triumph in competition with the
  foreigner; would infallibly flow from the Branch。
  Having achieved this constitutional feat; I asked Mr。 Mellows if he
  could grace my dinner with a pint of good wine?  Mr。 Mellows thus
  replied。
  'If I couldn't give you a pint of good wine; I'd … there! … I'd
  take and drown myself in a pail。  But I was deceived when I bought
  this business; and the stock was higgledy…piggledy; and I haven't
  yet tasted my way quite through it with a view to sorting it。
  Therefore; if you order one kind and get another; change till it
  comes right。  For what;' said Mellows; unloading his hat as before;
  'what would you or any gentleman do; if you ordered one kind of
  wine and was required to drink another?  Why; you'd (and naturally
  and properly; having the feelings of a gentleman); you'd take and
  drown yourself in a pail!'
  CHAPTER XXV … THE BOILED BEEF OF NEW ENGLAND
  The shabbiness of our English capital; as compared with Paris;
  Bordeaux; Frankfort; Milan; Geneva … almost any important town on
  the continent of Europe … I find very striking after an absence of
  any duration in foreign parts。  London is shabby in contrast with
  Edinburgh; with Aberdeen; with Exeter; with Liverpool; with a
  bright little town like Bury St。 Edmunds。  London is shabby in
  contrast with New York; with Boston; with Philadelphia。  In detail;
  one would say it can rarely fail to be a disappointing piece of
  shabbiness; to a stranger from any of those places。  There is
  nothing shabbier than Drury…lane; in Rome itself。  The meanness of
  Regent…street; set against the great line of Boulevards in Paris;
  is as striking as the abortive ugliness of Trafalgar…square; set
  against the gallant beauty of the Place de la Concorde。  London is
  shabby by daylight; and shabbier by gaslight。  No Englishman knows
  what gaslight is; until he sees the Rue de Rivoli and the Palais
  Royal after dark。
  The mass of London people are shabby。  The absence of distinctive
  dress has; no doubt; something to do with it。  The porters of the
  Vintners' Company; the draymen; and the butchers; are about the
  only people who wear distinctive dresses; and even these do not
  wear them on holidays。  We have nothing which for cheapness;
  cleanliness; convenience; or picturesqueness; can compare with the
  belted blouse。  As to our women; … next Easter or Whitsuntide; look
  at the bonnets at the British Museum or the National Gallery; and
  think of the pretty white French cap; the Spanish mantilla; or the
  Genoese mezzero。
  Probably there are not more second…hand clothes sold in London than
  in Paris; and yet the mass of the London population have a second…
  hand look which is not to be detected on the mass of the Parisian
  population。  I think this is mainly because a Parisian workman does
  not in the least trouble himself about what is worn by a Parisian
  idler; but dresses in the way of his own class; and for his own
  comfort。  In London; on the contrary; the fashions descend; and you
  never fully know how inconvenient or ridiculous a fashion is; until
  you see it in its last descent。  It was but the other day; on a
  race…course; that I observed four people in a barouche deriving
  great entertainment from the contemplation of four people on foot。
  The four people on foot were two young men and two young women; the
  four people in the barouche were two young men and two young women。
  The four young women were dressed in exactly the same style; the
  four young men were dressed in exactly the same style。  Yet the two
  couples on wheels were as much amused by the two couples on foot;
  as if they were quite unconscious of having themselves set those
  fashions; or of being at that very moment engaged in the display of
  them。
  Is it only in the matter of clothes that fashion descends here in
  London … and consequently in England … and thence shabbiness
  arises?  Let us think a little; and be just。  The 'Black Country'
  round about Birmingham; is a very black country; but is it quite as
  black as it has been lately painted?  An appalling accident
  happened at the People's Park near Birmingham; this last July; when
  it was crowded with people from the Black Country … an appalling
  accident consequent on a shamefully dangerous exhibition。  Did the
  shamefully dangerous exhibition originate in the moral blackness of
  the Black Country; and in the Black People's peculiar love of the
  excitement attendant on great personal hazard; which they looked on
  at; but in which they did not participate?  Light is much wanted in
  the Black Country。  O we are all agreed on that。  But; we must not
  quite forget the crowds of gentlefolks who set the shamefully
  dangerous fashion; either。  We must not quite forget the
  enterprising Directors of an Institution vaunting mighty
  educational pretences; who made the low sensation as strong as they
  possibly could make it; by hanging the Blondin rope as high as they
  possibly could hang it。  All this must not be eclipsed in the
  Blackness of the Black Country。  The reserved seats high up by the
  rope; the cleared space below it; so that no one should be smashed
  but the performer; the pretence of slipping and falling off; the
  baskets for the feet and the sack for the head; the photographs
  everywhere; and the virtuous indignation nowhere … all this must
  not be wholly swallowed up in the blackness of the jet…black
  country。
  Whatsoever fashion is set in England; is certain to descend。  This
  is a text for a perpetual sermon on care in setting fashions。  When
  you find a fashion low down; look back for the time (it will never
  be far off) when it was the fashion high up。  This is the text for
  a perpetual sermon on social justice。  From imitations of Ethiopian
  Serenaders; to imitations of Prince's coats and waistcoats; you
  will find the original model in St。 James's Parish。  When the
  Serenaders become tiresome; trace them beyond the Black Country;
  when the coats and waistcoats become insupportable; refer them to
  their source in the Upper Toady Regions。
  Gentlemen's clubs were once maintained for purposes of savage party
  warfare; working men's clubs of the same day assumed the same
  character。  Gentlemen's clubs became places of quiet inoffensive
  recreation; working men's clubs began to follow suit。  If working
  men have seemed rather slow to appreciate advantages of combination
  which have saved the pockets of gentlemen; and enhanced their
  comforts; it is because working men could scarcely; for want of
  capital; originate such combinations without help; and because help
  has not been separable from that great impertinence; Patronage。
  The instinctive revolt of his spirit against patronage; is a
  quality much to be respected in the English working man。  It is the
  base of the base of his best qualities。  Nor is it surprising that
  he should be unduly suspicious of patronage; and sometimes
  resentful of it even where it is not; seeing what a flood of washy
  talk has been let loose on his devoted head; or with what
  complacent condescension the same devoted head has been smoothed
  and patted。  It is a proof to me of his self…control that he never
  strikes out pugilistically; right and left; when addressed as one
  of 'My friends;' or 'My assembled friends;' that he does not become
  inappeasable; and run amuck like a Malay; whenever he sees a biped
  in broadcloth getting on a platform to talk to him; that any
  pretence of improving his mind; does not instantly drive him out of
  his mind; and cause him to toss his obliging patron like a mad
  bull。
  For; how often have I heard the unfortunate working man lectured;
  as if he were a little charity…child; humid as to his nasal
  development; strictly literal as to his Catechism; and called by
  Providence to walk all his days in a station in life represented on
  festive occasions by a mug of warm milk…and…water and a bun!  What
  popguns of jokes have these ears tingled to hear let off at him;
  what asinine sentiments; what impotent conclusions; what spelling…
  book moralities; what adaptations of the orator's insufferable
  tediousness to the assumed level of his understanding!  If his
  sledge…hammers; his spades and pick…axes; his saws and chisels; his
  paint…pots and brushes; his forges; furnaces; and engines; the
  horses that he drove at his work; and the machines that drove him
  at his work; were all toys in one little paper box; and he the baby
  who played with them; he could not have been discoursed to; more
  impertinently and absurdly than I have heard him discoursed to
  times innumerable。  Consequently; not being a fool or a fawner; he
  has come to acknowledge his patronage by virtually saying:  'Let me
  alone。  If you understand me no better than