preparation。
  At　length；　the　punch　was　ready；　and　the　Dorpat　student；　with　much
  bespattering　of　the　table　as　he　did　so；　ladled　the　liquor　into
  tumblers；　and　cried：　〃Now；　gentlemen；　please！〃　When　we　had　each
  of　us　taken　a　sticky　tumbler　of　the　stuff　into　our　hands；　the
  Dorpat　student　and　Frost　sang　a　German　song　in　which　the　word
  〃Hoch！〃　kept　occurring　again　and　again；　while　we　joined；　in
  haphazard　fashion；　in　the　chorus。　Next　we　clinked　glasses
  together；　shouted　something　in　praise　of　punch；　crossed　hands；
  and　took　our　first　drink　of　the　sweet；　strong　mixture。　After　that
  there　was　no　further　waiting；　the　〃wine〃　was　in　full　swing。　The
  first　glassful　consumed；　a　second　was　poured　out。　Yet；　for　all
  that　I　began　to　feel　a　throbbing　in　my　temples；　and　that　the
  flames　seemed　to　be　turning　purple；　and　that　every　one　around　me
  was　laughing　and　shouting；　things　seemed　lacking　in　real　gaiety；
  and　I　somehow　felt　that；　as　a　matter　of　fact；　we　were　all　of　us
  finding　the　affair　rather　dull；　and　only　PRETENDING　to　be
  enjoying　it。　The　Dorpat　student　may　have　been　an　exception；　for
  he　continued　to　grow　more　and　more　red　in　the　face　and　more　and
  more　ubiquitous　as　he　filled　up　empty　glasses　and　stained　the
  table　with　fresh　spots　of　the　sweet；　sticky　stuff。　The　precise
  sequence　of　events　I　cannot　remember；　but　I　can　recall　feeling
  strongly　attracted　towards　Frost　and　the　Dorpat　student　that
  evening；　learning　their　German　song　by　heart；　and　kissing　them
  each　on　their　sticky…sweet　lips；　also　that　that　same　evening　I
  conceived　a　violent　hatred　against　the　Dorpat　student；　and　was
  for　pushing　him　from　his　chair；　but　thought　better　of　it；　also
  that；　besides　feeling　the　same　spirit　of　independence　towards　the
  rest　of　the　company　as　I　had　felt　on　the　night　of　the
  matriculation　dinner；　my　head　ached　and　swam　so　badly　that　I
  thought　each　moment　would　be　my　last；　also　that；　for　some　reason
  or　another；　we　all　of　us　sat　down　on　the　floor　and　imitated　the
  movements　of　rowers　in　a　boat　as　we　sang　in　chorus；　〃Down　our
  mother　stream　the　Volga；〃　also　that　I　conceived　this　procedure　on
  our　part　to　be　uncalled　for；　also　that；　as　I　lay　prone　upon　the
  floor；　I　crossed　my　legs　and　began　wriggling　about　like　a
  tsigane；　＇Gipsy　dancer。＇　also　that　I　ricked　some　one's　neck；　and
  came　to　the；　conclusion　that　I　should　never　have　done　such　a
  thing　if　I　had　not　been　drunk；　also　that　we　had　some　supper　and
  another　kind　of　liquor；　and　that　I　then　went　to　the　door　to　get
  some　fresh　air；　also　that　my　head　seemed　suddenly　to　grow　chill；
  and　that　I　noticed；　as　I　drove　away；　that　the　scat　of　the　vehicle
  was　so　sharply　aslant　and　slippery　that　for　me　to　retain　my
  position　behind　Kuzma　was　impossible；　also　that　he　seemed　to　have
  turned　all　flabby；　and　to　be　waving　about　like　a　dish　clout。　But
  what　I　remember　best　is　that　throughout　the　whole　of　that　evening
  I　never　ceased　to　feel　that　I　was　acting　with　excessive　stupidity
  in　pretending　to　be　enjoying　myself；　to　like　drinking　a　great
  deal；　and　to　be　in　no　way　drunk；　as　well　as　that　every　one　else
  present　was　acting　with　equal　stupidity　in　pretending　those　same
  things。　All　the　time　I　had　a　feeling　that　each　one　of　my
  companions　was　finding　the　festivities　as　distasteful　as　I　was
  myself；　but；　in　the　belief　that　he　was　the　only　one　doing　so；
  felt　himself　bound　to　pretend　that　he　was　very　merry；　in　order
  not　to　mar　the　general　hilarity。　Also；　strange　to　state；　I　felt
  that　I　ought　to　keep　up　this　pretence　for　the　sole　reason　that
  into　a　punch…bowl　there　had　been　poured　three　bottles　of
  champagne　at　nine　roubles　the　bottle　and　ten　bottles　of　rum　at
  fourmaking　seventy　roubles　in　all；　exclusive　of　the　supper。　So
  convinced　of　my　folly　did　I　feel　that；　when；　at　next　day's
  lecture；　those　of　my　comrades　who　had　been　at　Baron　Z。's　party
  seemed　not　only　in　no　way　ashamed　to　remember　what　they　had　done；
  but　even　talked　about　it　so　that　other　students　might　hear　of
  their　doings；　I　felt　greatly　astonished。　They　all　declared　that
  it　had　been　a　splendid　〃wine；〃　that　Dorpat　students　were　just　the
  fellows　for　that　kind　of　thing；　and　that　there　had　been　consumed
  at　it　no　less　than　forty　bottles　of　rum　among　twenty　guests；　some
  of　whom　had　dropped　senseless　under　the　table！　That　they　should
  care　to　talk　about　such　things　seemed　strange　enough；　but　that
  they　should　care　to　lie　about　them　seemed　absolutely
  unintelligible。
  XL
  MY　FRIENDSHIP　WITH　THE　NECHLUDOFFS
  That　winter；　too；　I　saw　a　great　deal　both　of　Dimitri　who　often
  looked　us　up；　and　of　his　family；　with　whom　I　was　beginning　to
  stand　on　intimate　terms。
  The　Nechludoffs　（that　is　to　say；　mother；　aunt；　and　daughter）
  always　spent　their　evenings　at　home；　at　which　time　the　Princess
  liked　young　men　to　visit　herat　all　events　young　men　of　the　kind
  whom　she　described　as　able　to　spend　an　evening　without　playing
  cards　or　dancing。　Yet　such　young　fellows　must　have　been　few　and
  far　between；　for；　although　I　went　to　the　Nechludoffs　almost　every
  evening；　I　seldom　found　other　guests　present。　Thus；　I　came　to　know
  the　members　of　this　family　and　their　several　dispositions　well
  enough　to　be　able　to　form　clear　ideas　as　to　their　mutual
  relations；　and　to　be　quite　at　home　amid　the　rooms　and　furniture
  of　their　house。　Indeed；　so　long　as　no　other　guests　were　present；
  I　felt　entirely　at　my　ease。　True；　at　first　I　used　to　feel　a
  little　uncomfortable　when　left　alone　in　the　room　with　Varenika；
  for　I　could　not　rid　myself　of　the　idea　that；　though　far　from
  pretty；　she　wished　me　to　fall　in　love　with　her；　but　in　time　this
  nervousness　of　mine　began　to　lessen；　since　she　always　looked　so
  natural；　and　talked　to　me　so　exactly　as　though　she　were
  conversing　with　her　brother　or　Lubov　Sergievna；　that　I　came　to
  look　upon　her　simply　as　a　person　to　whom　it　was　in　no　way
  dangerous　or　wrong　to　show　that　I　took　pleasure　in　her　company。
  Throughout　the　whole　of　our　acquaintance　she　appeared　to　me
  merely　a　plain；　though　not　positively　ugly；　girl；　concerning　whom
  one　would　never　ask　oneself　the　question；
  〃Am　I；　or　am　I　not；　in　love　with　her？〃　Sometimes　I　would　talk　to
  her　direct；　but　more　often　I　did　so　through　Dimitri　or　Lubov
  Sergievna；　and　it　was　the　latter　method　which　afforded　me　the
  most　pleasure。　I　derived　considerable　gratification　from
  discoursing　when　she　was　there；　from　hearing　her　sing；　and；　in
  general；　from　knowing　that　she　was　in　the　same　room　as　myself；
  but　it　was　seldom　now　that　any　thoughts　of　what　our　future
  relations　might　ever　be；　or　that　any　dreams　of　self…sacrifice　for
  my　friend　if　he　should　ever　fall　in　love　with　my　sister；　came
  into　my　head。　If　any　such　ideas　or　fancies　occurred　to　me；　I　felt
  satisfied　with　the　present；　and　drove　away　all　thoughts　about　the
  future。
  Yet；　in　spite　of　this　intimacy；　I　continued　to　look　upon　it　as　my
  bounden　duty　to　keep　the　Nechludoffs　in　general；　and　Varenika　in
  particular；　in　ignorance　of　my　true　feelings　and　tastes；　and
  strove　always　to　appear　altogether　another　young　man　than　what　I
  really　wasto　appear；　indeed；　such　a　young　man　as　could　never
  possibly　have　existed。　I　affected　to　be　〃soulful〃　and　would　go
  off　into　raptures　and　exclamations　and　impassioned　gestures
  whenever　I　wished　it　to　be　thought　that　anything　pleased　me；
  while；　on　the　other　hand；　I　tried　always　to　seem　indifferent
  towards　any　unusual　circumstance　which　I　myself　perceived　or
  which　I　had　had　pointed　out　to　me。　I　aimed　always　at　figuring
  both　as　a　sarcastic　cynic　divorced　from　every　sacred　tie　and　as　a
  shrewd　observer；　as　well　as　at　being　accounted　logical　in　all　my
  conduct；　precise　and　methodical　in　all　my　ways　of　life；　and　at
  the　same　time　contemptuous　of　all　materiality。　I　may　safely　say
  that　I　was　far　better　in　reality　than　the　strange　being　into　whom
  I　attempted　to　convert　myself；　yet；　whatever　I　was　or　was　not；
  the　Nechludoffs　were　unfailingly　kind　to　me；　and　（happily　for
  myself）　took　no　notice　（as　it　now　appears）　of　my　play…acting。
  Only　Lubov　Sergievna；　who；　I　believe；　really　believed　me　to　be　a
  great　egoist；　atheist；　and　cynic；　had　no　love　for　me；　but
  frequently　disputed　what　I　said；　flew　into　tempers；　and　left　me
  petrified　with　her　disjointed；　irrelevant　utterances。　Yet　Dimitri
  held　always　to　the　same　strange；　something　more　than　friendly；
  relations　with　her；　and　used　to　say　not　only　that　she　was
  misunderstood　by　every　one；　but　that　she　did　him　a　world　of　good。
  This；　however；　did　not　prevent　the　rest　of　his　family　from
  finding　fault　with　his　infatuation。
  Once；　when　talking　to　me　about　this　incomprehensible　attachment；
  Varenika　explained　the　matter　thus：　〃You　see；　Dimitri　is　a
  selfish　person。　He　is　very　proud；　and；　for　all　his　intellect；
  very　fond　of　praise；　and　of　surprising　people；　and　of　always
  being　FIRST；　while　little　Auntie〃　（the　general　nickname　for　Lubov
  Sergievna）　〃is　innocent　enough　to　admire　him；　and　at　the　same
  time　devoid　of　the　tact　to　conceal　her　admiration。　Consequently