to　execute　octaves　with　his　left　hand　as　he　first　of　all　played
  them　rapidly　with　his　thumb　and　little　finger；　and　then　slowly
  closed　those　members；　and　then　played　the　octaves　afresh；　made　a
  great　impression　upon　me。　This　graceful　gesture　of　his；　together
  with　his　easy　pose　and　his　shaking　of　hair　and　successful　winning
  of　the　ladies'　applause　by　his　talent；　ended　by　firing　me　to　take
  up　the　piano。　Convinced　that　I　possessed　both　talent　and　a
  passion　for　music；　I　set　myself　to　learn；　and；　in　doing　so；　acted
  just　as　millions　of　the　malestill　more；　of　the　femalesex　have
  done　who　try　to　teach　themselves　without　a　skilled　instructor；
  without　any　real　turn　for　the　art；　or　without　the　smallest
  understanding　either　of　what　the　art　can　give　or　of　what　ought　to
  be　done　to　obtain　that　gift。　For　me　music　（or　rather；　piano…
  playing）　was　simply　a　means　of　winning　the　ladies'　good　graces
  through　their　sensibility。　With　the　help　of　Katenka　I　first
  learnt　the　notes　（incidentally　breaking　several　of　them　with　my
  clumsy　fingers）；　and　thenthat　is　to　say；　after　two　months　of
  hard　work；　supplemented　by　ceaseless　twiddling　of　my　rebellious
  fingers　on　my　knees　after　luncheon；　and　on　the　pillow　when　in
  bedwent　on　to　〃pieces；〃　which　I　played　（so　Katenka　assured　me）
  with　〃soul〃　（〃avec　ame〃）；　but　altogether　regardless　of　time。
  My　range　of　pieces　was　the　usual　onewaltzes；　galops；
  〃romances；〃　〃arrangements；〃　etcetera；　all　of　them　of　the　class　of
  delightful　compositions　of　which　any　one　with　a　little　healthy
  taste　could　point　out　a　selection　among　the　better　class　works
  contained　in　any　volume　of　music　and　say；　〃These　are　what　you
  ought　NOT　to　play；　seeing　that　anything　worse；　less　tasteful；　and
  more　silly　has　never　yet　been　included　in　any　collection　of
  music；〃but　which　（probably　for　that　very　reason）　are　to　be
  found　on　the　piano　of　every　Russian　lady。　True；　we　also　possessed
  an　unfortunate　volume　which　contained　Beethoven's　〃Sonate
  Pathetique〃　and　the　C　minor　Sonata　（a　volume　lamed　for　life　by
  the　ladiesmore　especially　by　Lubotshka；　who　used　to　discourse
  music　from　it　in　memory　of　Mamma）；　as　well　as　certain　other　good
  pieces　which　her　teacher　in　Moscow　had　given　her；　but　among　that
  collection　there　were　likewise　compositions　of　the　teacher's　own；
  in　the　shape　of　clumsy　marches　and　galopsand　these　too
  Lubotshka　used　to　play！　Katenka　and　I　cared　nothing　for　serious
  works；　but　preferred；　above　all　things；　〃Le　Fou〃　and　〃The
  Nightingale〃the　latter　of　which　Katenka　would　play　until　her
  fingers　almost　became　invisible；　and　which　I　too　was　beginning
  to　execute　with　much　vigour　and　some　continuity。　I　had　adopted　the
  gestures　of　the　young　man　of　whom　I　have　spoken；　and　frequently
  regretted　that　there　were　no　strangers　present　to　see　me　play。
  Soon；　however；　I　began　to　realise　that　Liszt　and　Kalkbrenner　were
  beyond　me；　and　that　I　should　never　overtake　Katenka。
  Accordingly；　imagining　that　classical　music　was　easier　（as　well
  as；　partly；　for　the　sake　of　originality）；　I　suddenly　came　to　the
  conclusion　that　I　loved　abstruse　German　music。　I　began　to　go　into
  raptures　whenever　Lubotshka　played　the　〃Sonate　Pathetique；〃　and
  although　（if　the　truth　be　told）　that　work　had　for　years　driven　me
  to　the　verge　of　distraction；　I　set　myself　to　play　Beethoven；　and
  to　talk　of　him　as　〃Beethoven。〃　Yet　through　all　this　chopping　and
  changing　and　pretence　（as　I　now　conceive）　there　may　have　run　in
  me　a　certain　vein　of　talent；　since　music　sometimes　affected　me
  even　to　tears；　and　things　which　particularly　pleased　me　I　could
  strum　on　the　piano　afterwards　（in　a　certain　fashion）　without　the
  score；　so　that；　had　any　one　taught　me　at　that　period　to　look　upon
  music　as　an　end；　a　grace；　in　itself；　and　not　merely　as　a　means
  for　pleasing　womenfolk　with　the　velocity　and　pseudo…sentiment　of
  one's　playing；　I　might　possibly　have　become　a　passable　musician。
  The　reading　of　French　novels　（of　which　Woloda　had　brought
  a　large　store　with　him　from　Moscow）　was　another　of　my　amusements
  that　summer。　At　that　period　Monte　Cristo　and　Taine's　works　had
  just　appeared；　while　I　also　revelled　in　stories　by　Sue；　Dumas；
  and　Paul　de　Kock。　Even　their　most　unnatural　personages　and　events
  were　for　me　as　real　as　actuality；　and　not　only　was　I　incapable　of
  suspecting　an　author　of　lying；　but；　in　my　eyes；　there　existed　no
  author　at　all。　That　is　to　say；　the　various　personages　and　events
  of　a　book　paraded　themselves　before　me　on　the　printed　page　as
  personages　and　events　that　were　alive　and　real；　and　although　I
  had　never　in　my　life　met　such　characters　as　I　there　read　about；　I
  never　for　a　second　doubted　that　I　should　one　day　do　so。　I
  discovered　in　myself　all　the　passions　described　in　every　novel；
  as　well　as　a　likeness　to　all　the　charactersheroes　and　villains
  impartiallywho　figured　therein；　just　as　a　suspicious　man　finds
  in　himself　the　signs　of　every　possible　disease　when　reading　a
  book　on　medicine。　I　took　pleasure　both　in　the　cunning　designs；
  the　glowing　sentiments；　the　tumultuous　events；　and　the　character…
  drawing　of　these　works。　A　good　man　was　of　the　goodness；　a　bad　man
  of　the　badness；　possible　only　to　the　imagination　of　early　youth。
  Likewise　I　found　great　pleasure　in　the　fact　that　it　was　all
  written　in　French；　and　that　I　could　lay　to　heart　the　fine　words
  which　the　fine　heroes　spoke；　and　recall　them　for　use　some　day
  when　engaged　in　some　noble　deed。　What　quantities　of　French
  phrases　I　culled　from　those　books　for　Kolpikoff's　benefit　if　I
  should　ever　meet　him　again；　as　well　as　for　HERS；　when　at　length　I
  should　find　her　and　reveal　to　her　my　love！　For　them　both　I
  prepared　speeches　which　should　overcome　them　as　soon　as　spoken！
  Upon　novels；　too；　I　founded　new　ideals　of　the　moral　qualities
  which　I　wished　to　attain。　First　of　all；　I　wished　to　be　NOBLE　in
  all　my　deeds　and　conduct　（I　use　the　French　word　noble　instead　of
  the　Russian　word　blagorodni　for　the　reason　that　the　former　has　a
  different　meaning　to　the　latteras　the　Germans　well　understood
  when　they　adopted　noble　as　nobel　and　differentiated　it　from
  ehrlich）；　next；　to　be　strenuous；　and　lastly；　to　be　what　I　was
  already　inclined　to　be；　namely；　comme　il　faut。　I　even　tried　to
  approximate　my　appearance　and　bearing　to　that　of　the　heroes　who
  possessed　these　qualities。　In　particular　I　remember　how　in　one　of
  the　hundred　or　so　novels　which　I　read　that　summer　there　was　a
  very　strenuous　hero　with　heavy　eyebrows；　and　that　I　so　greatly
  wished　to　resemble　him　（I　felt　that　I　did　so　already　from　a　moral
  point　of　view）　that　one　day；　when　looking　at　my　eyebrows　in　the
  glass；　I　conceived　the　idea　of　clipping　them；　in　order　to　make
  them　grow　bushier。　Unfortunately；　after　I　had　started　to　do　so；　I
  happened　to　clip　one　spot　rather　shorter　than　the　rest；　and　so
  had　to　level　down　the　rest　to　it…with　the　result　that；　to　my
  horror；　I　beheld　myself　eyebrow…less；　and　anything　but
  presentable。　However；　I　comforted　myself　with　the　reflection　that
  my　eyebrows　would　soon　sprout　again　as　bushy　as　my　hero's；　and
  was　only　perplexed　to　think　how　I　could　explain　the　circumstance
  to　the　household　when　they　next　perceived　my　eyebrow…less
  condition。　Accordingly　I　borrowed　some　gunpowder　from　Woloda；
  rubbed　it　on　my　temples；　and　set　it　alight。　The　powder　did　not
  fire　properly；　but　I　succeeded　in　singeing　myself　sufficiently　to
  avert　all　suspicion　of　my　pranks。　And；　indeed；　afterwards；　when　I
  had　forgotten　all　about　my　hero；　my　eyebrows　grew　again；　and　much
  thicker　than　they　had　been　before。
  XXXI
  〃COMME　IL　FAUT〃
  SEVERAL　times　in　the　course　of　this　narrative　I　have　hinted　at　an
  idea　corresponding　to　the　above　French　heading；　and　now　feel　it
  incumbent　upon　me　to　devote　a　whole　chapter　to　that　idea；　which
  was　one　of　the　most　ruinous；　lying　notions　which　ever　became
  engrafted　upon　my　life　by　my　upbringing　and　social　milieu。
  The　human　race　may　be　divided　into　several　categoriesrich　and
  poor；　good　and　bad；　military　and　civilian；　clever　and　stupid；　and
  so　forth；　and　so　forth。　Yet　each　man　has　his　own　favourite；
  fundamental　system　of　division　which　he　unconsciously　uses　to
  class　each　new　person　with　whom　he　meets。　At　the　time　of　which　I
  am　speaking；　my　own　favourite；　fundamental　system　of　division　in
  this　respect　was　into　people　〃comme　il　faut〃　and　people　〃comme　il
  ne　faut　pas〃the　latter　subdivided；　again；　into　people　merely　not
  〃comme　il　faut〃　and　the　lower　orders。　People　〃comme　il　faut〃　I
  respected；　and　looked　upon　as　worthy　to　consort　with　me　as　my
  equals；　the　second　of　the　above　categories　I　pretended　merely　to
  despise；　but　in　reality　hated；　and　nourished　towards　them　a　kind
  of　feeling　of　offended　personality；　while　the　third　category　had
  no　existence　at　all；　so　far　as　I　was　concerned；　since　my　contempt
  for　them　was　too　complete。　This　〃comme　il　faut〃…ness　of　mine　lay；
  first　and　foremost；　in　proficiency　in　French；　especially
  conversational　French。　A　person　who　spoke　that　language　badly　at
  once　aroused　in　me　a　feel