第 20 节
作者:
不是就是 更新:2021-02-27 02:46 字数:9322
pair of dark…grey eyes;which; in their expression of gaiety
mingled with quiet attention; greatly resembled those of her
aunta long coil of flaxen hair; and extremely delicate;
beautiful hands。
〃I expect; Monsieur Nicolas; you find it wearisome to hear a
story begun from the middle?〃 said Sophia Ivanovna with her good…
natured sigh as she turned over some pieces of clothing which she
was sewing。 The reading aloud had ceased for the moment because
Dimitri had left the room on some errand or another。
〃Or perhaps you have read Rob Roy before?〃 she added。
At that period I thought it incumbent upon me; in virtue of my
student's uniform; to reply in a very 〃clever and original〃
manner to every question put to me by people whom I did not know
very well; and regarded such short; clear answers as 〃Yes;〃 〃No;〃
〃I like it;〃 or 〃I do not care for it;〃 as things to be ashamed
of。 Accordingly; looking down at my new and fashionably…cut
trousers and the glittering buttons of my tunic; I replied that I
had never read Rob Roy; but that it interested me greatly to hear
it; since I preferred to read books from the middle rather than
from the beginning。
〃It is twice as interesting;〃 I added with a self…satisfied
smirk; 〃for then one can guess what has gone before as well as
what is to come after。〃
The Princess smiled what I thought was a forced smile; but one
which I discovered later to be her only one。
〃Well; perhaps that is true;〃 she said。 〃But tell me; Nicolas
(you will not be offended if I drop the Monsieur)tell me; are
you going to be in town long? When do you go away?〃
〃I do not know quite。 Perhaps to…morrow; or perhaps not for some
while yet;〃 I replied for some reason or another; though I knew
perfectly well that in reality we were to go to…morrow。
〃I wish you could stop longer; both for your own sake and for
Dimitri's;〃 she said in a meditative manner。 〃At your age
friendship is a weak thing。〃
I felt that every one was looking at me; and waiting to see what
I should saythough certainly Varenika made a pretence of
looking at her aunt's work。 I felt; in fact; as though I were
being put through an examination; and that it behoved me to
figure in it as well as possible。
〃Yes; to ME Dimitri's friendship is most useful;〃 I replied; 〃but
to HIM mine cannot be of any use at all; since he is a thousand
times better than I。〃 (Dimitri could not hear what I said; or I
should have feared his detecting the insincerity of my words。)
Again the Princess smiled her unnatural; yet characteristically
natural; smile。
〃Just listen to him!〃 she said。 〃But it is YOU who are the little
monster of perfection。〃
〃'Monster of perfection;'〃 I thought to myself。 〃That is
splendid。 I must make a note of it。〃
〃Yet; to dismiss yourself; he has been extraordinarily clever in
that quarter;〃 she went on in a lower tone (which pleased me
somehow) as she indicated Lubov Sergievna with her eyes; 〃since
he has discovered in our poor little Auntie〃 (such was the pet
name which they gave Lubov) 〃all sorts of perfections which I;
who have known her and her little dog for twenty years; had never
yet suspected。 〃Varenika; go and tell them to bring me a glass of
water;〃 she added; letting her eyes wander again。 Probably she
had bethought her that it was too soon; or not entirely
necessary; to let me into all the family secrets。 〃Yet nolet
HIM go; for he has nothing to do; while you are reading。 Pray go
to the door; my friend;〃 she said to me; 〃and walk about fifteen
steps down the passage。 Then halt and call out pretty loudly;
〃Peter; bring Maria Ivanovna a glass of iced water〃and she
smiled her curious smile once more。
〃I expect she wants to say something about me in my absence;〃 I
thought to myself as I left the room。 〃I expect she wants to
remark that she can see very clearly that I am a very; very
clever young man。〃
Hardly had I taken a dozen steps when I was overtaken by Sophia
Ivanovna; who; though fat and short of breath; trod with
surprising lightness and agility。
〃Merci; mon cher;〃 she said。 〃I will go and tell them myself。〃
XXIV
LOVE
SOPHIA IVANOVNA; as I afterwards came to know her; was one of
those rare; young…old women who are born for family life; but to
whom that happiness has been denied by fate。 Consequently all
that store of their love which should have been
poured out upon a husband and children becomes pent up in their
hearts; until they suddenly decide to let it overflow upon a few
chosen individuals。 Yet so inexhaustible is that store of old
maids' love that; despite the number of individuals so selected;
there still remains an abundant surplus of affection which they
lavish upon all by whom they are surroundedupon all; good or
bad; whom they may chance to meet in their daily life。
Of love there are three kindslove of beauty; the love which
denies itself; and practical love。
Of the desire of a young man for a young woman; as well as of the
reverse instance; I am not now speaking; for of such tendresses I
am wary; seeing that I have been too unhappy in my life to have
been able ever to see in such affection a single spark of truth;
but rather a lying pretence in which sensuality; connubial
relations; money; and the wish to bind hands or to unloose them
have rendered feeling such a complex affair as to defy analysis。
Rather am I speaking of that love for a human being which;
according to the spiritual strength of its possessor;
concentrates itself either upon a single individual; upon a few;
or upon manyof love for a mother; a father; a brother; little
children; a friend; a compatriotof love; in short; for one's
neighbour。
Love of beauty consists in a love of the sense of beauty and of
its expression。 People who thus love conceive the object of their
affection to be desirable only in so far as it arouses in them
that pleasurable sensation of which the consciousness and the
expression soothes the senses。 They change the object of their
love frequently; since their principal aim consists in ensuring
that the voluptuous feeling of their adoration shall be
constantly titillated。 To preserve in themselves this sensuous
condition; they talk unceasingly; and in the most elegant terms;
on the subject of the love which they feel; not only for its
immediate object; but also for objects upon which it does not
touch at all。 This country of ours contains many such
individualsindividuals of that well…known class who;
cultivating 〃the beautiful;〃 not only discourse of their cult to
all and sundry; but speak of it pre…eminently in FRENCH。 It may
seem a strange and ridiculous thing to say; but I am convinced
that among us we have had in the past; and still have; a large
section of societynotably womenwhose love for their friends;
husbands; or children would expire to…morrow if they were
debarred from dilating upon it in the tongue of France!
Love of the second kindrenunciatory loveconsists in a
yearning to undergo self…sacrifice for the object beloved;
regardless of any consideration whether such self…sacrifice will
benefit or injure the object in question。 〃There is no evil which
I would not endure to show both the world and him or her whom I
adore my devotion。〃 There we have the formula of this kind of
love。 People who thus love never look for reciprocity of
affection; since it is a finer thing to sacrifice yourself for
one who does not comprehend you。 Also; they are always painfully
eager to exaggerate the merits of their sacrifice; usually
constant in their love; for the reason that they would find it
hard to forego the kudos of the deprivations which they endure
for the object beloved; always ready to die; to prove to him or
to her the entirety of their devotion; but sparing of such small
daily proofs of their love as call for no special effort of self…
immolation。 They do not much care whether you eat well; sleep
well; keep your spirits up; or enjoy good health; nor do they
ever do anything to obtain for you those blessings if they have
it in their power; but; should you be confronting a bullet; or
have fallen into the water; or stand in danger of being burnt; or
have had your heart broken in a love affairwell; for all these
things they are prepared if the occasion should arise。 Moreover;
people addicted to love of such a self…sacrificing order are
invariably proud of their love; exacting; jealous; distrustful;
andstrange to tellanxious that the object of their adoration
should incur perils (so that they may save it from calamity; and
console it thereafter) and even be vicious (so that they may
purge it of its vice)。
Suppose; now; that you are living in the country with a wife who
loves you in this self…sacrificing manner。 You may be healthy and
contented; and have occupations which interest you; while; on the
other hand; your wife may be to