bottle　of　iced　champagne…upon　which　I　tried　to　look　with　as　much
  indifference　as　I　couldstood　ready　waiting　for　us；　and　where　we
  were　served　with　a　most　wonderful　repast　selected　by　Dubkoff　from
  the　French　menu。　The　meal　went　off　most　gaily　and　agreeably；
  notwithstanding　that　Dubkoff；　as　usual；　told　us　blood…curdling
  tales　of　doubtful　veracity　（among　others；　a　tale　of　how　his
  grandmother　once　shot　dead　three　robbers　who　were　attacking　her
  a　recital　at　which　I　blushed；　closed　my　eyes；　and　turned　away
  from　the　narrator）；　and　that　Woloda　reddened　visibly　whenever　I
  opened　my　mouth　to　speakwhich　was　the　more　uncalled　for　on　his
  part；　seeing　that　never　once；　so　far　as　I　can　remember；　did　I　say
  anything　shameful。　After　we　had　been　given　champagne；　every　one
  congratulated　me；　and　I　drank　〃hands　across〃　with　Dimitri　and
  Dubkoff；　and　wished　them　joy。　Since；　however；　I　did　not　know　to
  whom　the　bottle　of　champagne　belonged　（it　was　explained　to　me
  later　that　it　was　common　property）；　I　considered　that；　in　return；
  I　ought　to　treat　my　friends　out　of　the　money　which　I　had　never
  ceased　to　finger　in　my　pocket。　Accordingly；　I　stealthily　extracted
  a　ten…rouble　note；　and；　beckoning　the　waiter　to　my　side；　handed
  him　the　money；　and　told　him　in　a　whisper　（yet　not　so　softly　but
  that　every　one　could　hear　me；　seeing　that　every　one　was　staring
  at　me　in　dead　silence）　to　〃bring；　if　you　please；　a　half…bottle　of
  champagne。〃　At　this　Woloda　reddened　again；　and　began　to　fidget　so
  violently；　and　to　gaze　upon　myself　and　every　one　else　with　such　a
  distracted　air；　that　I　felt　sure　I　had　somehow　put　my　foot　in　it。
  However；　the　half…bottle　came；　and　we　drank　it　with　great　gusto。
  After　that；　things　went　on　merrily。　Dubkoff　continued　his
  unending　fairy　tales；　while　Woloda　also　told　funny　storiesand
  told　them　well；　tooin　a　way　I　should　never　have　credited　him：　so
  that　our　laughter　rang　long　and　loud。　Their　best　efforts　lay　in
  imitation；　and　in　variants　of　a　certain　well…known　saw。　〃Have　you
  ever　been　abroad？〃　one　would　say　to　the　other；　for　instance。
  〃No；〃　the　one　interrogated　would　reply；　〃but　my　brother　plays　the
  fiddle。〃　Such　perfection　had　the　pair　attained　in　this　species　of
  comic　absurdity　that　they　could　answer　any　question　by　its　means；
  while　they　would　also　endeavour　to　unite　two　absolutely
  unconnected　matters　without　a　previous　question　having　been　asked
  at　all；　yet　say　everything　with　a　perfectly　serious　face　and
  produce　a　most　comic　effect。　I　too　began　to　try　to　be　funny；　but
  as　soon　as　ever　I　spoke　they　either　looked　at　me　askance　or　did
  not　look　at　me　until　I　had　finished：　so　that　my　anecdotes　fell
  flat。　Yet；　though　Dubkoff　always　remarked；　〃Our　DIPLOMAT　is
  lying；　brother；〃　I　felt　so　exhilarated　with　the　champagne　and　the
  company　of　my　elders　that　the　remark　scarcely　touched　me。　Only
  Dimitri；　though　he　drank　level　with　the　rest　of　us；　continued　in
  the　same　severe；　serious　frame　of　minda　fact　which　put　a
  certain　check　upon　the　general　hilarity。
  〃Now；　look　here；　gentlemen；〃　said　Dubkoff　at　last。　〃After　dinner
  we　ought　to　take　the　DIPLOMAT　in　hand。　How　would　it　be　for　him　to
  go　with　us　to　see　Auntie？　There　we　could　put　him　through　his
  paces。〃
  〃Ah；　but　Nechludoff　will　not　go　there；〃　objected　Woloda。
  〃O　unbearable；　insupportable　man　of　quiet　habits　that　you　are！〃
  cried　Dubkoff；　turning　to　Dimitri。　〃Yet　come　with　us；　and　you
  shall　see　what　an　excellent　lady　my　dear　Auntie　is。〃
  〃I　will　neither　go　myself　nor　let　him　go；〃　replied　Dimitri。
  〃Let　whom　go？　The　DIPLOMAT？　Why；　you　yourself　saw　how　he
  brightened　up　at　the　very　mention　of　Auntie。〃
  〃It　is　not　so　much　that　I　WILL　NOT　LET　HIM　go；〃　continued
  Dimitri；　rising　and　beginning　to　pace　the　room　without　looking　at
  me；　〃as　that　I　neither　wish　him　nor　advise　him　to　go。　He　is　not　a
  child　now；　and　if　he　must　go　he　can　go　alonewithout　you。　Surely
  you　are　ashamed　of　this；　Dubkoff？ashamed　of　always　wanting
  others　to　do　all　the　wrong　things　that　you　yourself　do？〃
  〃But　what　is　there　so　very　wrong　in　my　inviting　you　all　to　come
  and　take　a　cup　of　tea　with　my　Aunt？〃　said　Dubkoff；　with　a　wink　at
  Woloda。　〃If　you　don't　like　us　going；　it　is　your　affair；　yet　we
  are　going　all　the　same。　Are　you　coming；　Woloda？〃
  〃Yes；　yes；〃　assented　Woloda。　〃We　can　go　there；　and　then　return　to
  my　rooms　and　continue　our　piquet。〃
  〃Do　you　want　to　go　with　them　or　not？〃　said　Dimitri；　approaching
  me。
  〃No；〃　I　replied；　at　the　same　time　making　room　for　him　to　sit　down
  beside　me　on　the　divan。　〃I　did　not　wish　to　go　in　any　case；　and
  since　you　advise　me　not　to；　nothing　on　earth　will　make　me　go　now。
  Yet；〃　I　added　a　moment　later；　〃I　cannot　honestly　say　that　I　have
  NO　desire　to　go。　All　I　say　is　that　I　am　glad　I　am　not　going。〃
  〃That　is　right；〃　he　said。　〃Live　your　own　life；　and　do　not　dance
  to　any　one's　piping。　That　is　the　better　way。〃
  This　little　tiff　not　only　failed　to　mar　our　hilarity；　but　even
  increased　it。　Dimitri　suddenly　reverted　to　the　kindly　mood　which
  I　loved　bestso　great　（as　I　afterwards　remarked　on　more　than　one
  occasion）　was　the　influence　which　the　consciousness　of　having
  done　a　good　deed　exercised　upon　him。　At　the　present　moment　the
  source　of　his　satisfaction　was　the　fact　that　he　had　stopped　my
  expedition　to　〃Auntie's。〃　He　grew　extraordinarily　gay；　called　for
  another　bottle　of　champagne　（which　was　against　his　rules）；
  invited　some　one　who　was　a　perfect　stranger　into　our　room；　plied
  him　with　wine；　sang　〃Gaudeamus　igitur；〃　requested　every　one　to
  join　him　in　the　chorus；　and　proposed　that　we　should　and　rink　at
  the　Sokolniki。　＇Mews。＇
  〃Let　us　enjoy　ourselves　to…night；〃　he　said　with　a　laugh。　〃It　is
  in　honour　of　his　matriculation　that　you　now　see　me　getting　drunk
  for　the　first　time　in　my　life。〃
  Yet　somehow　this　merriment　sat　ill　upon　him。　He　was　like　some
  good…natured　father　or　tutor　who　is　pleased　with　his　young
  charges；　and　lets　himself　go　for　their　amusement；　yet　at　the　same
  time　tries　to　show　them　that　one　can　enjoy　oneself　decently　and
  in　an　honourable　manner。　However；　his　unexpected　gaiety　had　an
  infectious　influence　upon　myself　and　my　companions；　and　the　more
  so　because　each　of　us　had　now　drunk　about　half　a　bottle　of
  champagne。
  It　was　in　this　pleasing　frame　of　mind　that　I　went　out　into　the
  main　salon　to　smoke　a　cigarette　which　Dubkoff　had　given　me。　In
  rising　I　noticed　that　my　head　seemed　to　swim　a　little；　and　that
  my　legs　and　arms　retained　their　natural　positions　only　when　I
  bent　my　thoughts　determinedly　upon　them。　At　other　moments　my　legs
  would　deviate　from　the　straight　line；　and　my　arms　describe
  strange　gestures。　I　concentrated　my　whole　attention　upon　the
  members　in　question；　forced　my　hands　first　to　raise　themselves
  and　button　my　tunic；　and　then　to　smooth　my　hair　（though　they
  ruffled　my　locks　in　doing　so）；　and　lastly　commanded　my　legs　to
  march　me　to　the　doora　function　which　they　duly　performed；
  though　at　one　time　with　too　much　reluctance；　and　at　another　with
  too　much　ABANDON　（the　left　leg；　in　particular；　coming　to　a　halt
  every　moment　on　tiptoe）。　Some　one　called　out　to　me；　〃Where　are
  you　going　to？　They　will　bring　you　a　cigar…light　directly；〃　but　I
  guessed　the　voice　to　be　Woloda's；　and；　feeling　satisfied；
  somehow；　that　I　had　succeeded　in　divining　the　fact；　merely　smiled
  airily　in　reply；　and　continued　on　my　way。
  XVI
  THE　QUARREL
  In　the　main　salon　I　perceived　sitting　at　a　small　table　a　short；
  squat　gentleman　of　the　professional　type。　He　had　a　red　moustache；
  and　was　engaged　in　eating　something　or　another；　while　by　his　side
  sat　a　tall；　clean…shaven　individual　with　whom　he　was　carrying　on
  a　conversation　in　French。　Somehow　the　aspect　of　these　two　persons
  displeased　me；　yet　I　decided；　for　all　that；　to　light　my　cigarette
  at　the　candelabrum　which　was　standing　before　them。　Looking　from
  side　to　side；　to　avoid　meeting　their　gaze；　I　approached　the
  table；　and　applied　my　cigarette　to　the　flame。　When　it　was　fairly
  alight；　I　involuntarily　threw　a　glance　at　the　gentleman　who　was
  eating；　and　found　his　grey　eyes　fixed　upon　me　with　an　expression
  of　intense　displeasure。　Just　as　I　was　turning　away　his　red
  moustache　moved　a　little；　and　he　said　in　French：
  〃I　do　not　like　people　to　smoke　when　I　am　dining；　my　good　sir。〃
  I　murmured　something　inaudible。
  〃No；　I　do　not　like　it　at　all；〃　he　went　on　sternly；　and　with　a
  glance　at　his　clean…shaven　companion；　as　though　inviting　him　to
  admire　the　way　in　which　he　was　about　to　deal　with　me。　〃I　do　not
  like　it；　my　good　sir；　nor　do　I　like　people　who　have　the　impudence
  to　puff　their　smoke　up　one's　very　nose。〃
  By　this　time　I　had　gathered　that　it　was　myself　he　was　scolding；
  and　at　first　felt　as　though　I　had　been　altogether　in　the　wrong；
  〃I　did　not　mean　to　inconvenience　you；〃　I　said。
  〃Well；　if　you　did　not　suppose　you　were　being　impertinent；　at
  least　I　did！　You　are　a　cad；　young　sir！〃　he　shouted　in　reply。
  〃But　what　right　have　you　to　shout