第 53 节
作者:寻找山吹      更新:2021-02-27 02:13      字数:9322
  In the evening we took the 〃Limited〃 for home。
  We lived for a month with my mother; and then moved into our own house。
  It was one which I had rented from Howard Ogilvy; and it stood on the
  corner of Baker and Clinton streets; near that fashionable neighbourhood
  called 〃the Heights。〃  Ogilvy; who was some ten years older than I; and
  who belonged to one of our old families; had embarked on a career then
  becoming common; but which at first was regarded as somewhat meteoric:
  gradually abandoning the practice of law; and perceiving the
  possibilities of the city of his birth; he had 〃gambled〃 in real estate
  and other enterprises; such as our local water company; until he had
  quadrupled his inheritance。  He had built a mansion on Grant Avenue; the
  wide thoroughfare bisecting the Heights。  The house he had vacated was
  not large; but essentially distinctive; with the oddity characteristic of
  the revolt against the banal architecture of the 80's。  The curves of the
  tiled roof enfolded the upper windows; the walls were thick; the note one
  of mystery。  I remember Maude's naive delight when we inspected it。
  〃You'd never guess what the inside was like; would you; Hugh?〃  she
  cried。
  From the panelled box of an entrance hall one went up a few steps to a
  drawing…room which had a bowed recess like an oriel; and window…seats。
  The dining…room was an odd shape; and was wainscoted in oak; it had a
  tiled fireplace and (according to Maude) the 〃sweetest〃 china closet
  built into the wall。  There was a 〃den〃 for me; and an octagonal
  reception…room on the corner。  Upstairs; the bedrooms were quite as
  unusual; the plumbing of the new pattern; heavy and imposing。  Maude
  expressed the air of seclusion when she exclaimed that she could almost
  imagine herself in one of the mediaeval towns we had seen abroad。
  〃It's a dream; Hugh;〃 she sighed。  〃Butdo you think we can afford
  it?〃。。。
  〃This house;〃 I announced; smiling; 〃is only a stepping…stone to the
  palace I intend to build you some day。〃
  〃I don't want a palace!〃 she cried。  〃I'd rather live here; like this;
  always。〃
  A certain vehemence in her manner troubled me。  I was charmed by this
  disposition for domesticity; and yet I shrank from the contemplation of
  its permanency。  I felt vaguely; at the time; the possibility of a future
  conflict of temperaments。  Maude was docile; now。  But would she remain
  docile? and was it in her nature to take ultimately the position that was
  desirable for my wife?  Well; she must be moulded; before it were too
  late。  Her ultra…domestic tendencies must be halted。  As yet blissfully
  unaware of the inability of the masculine mind to fathom the subtleties
  of feminine relationships; I was particularly desirous that Maude and
  Nancy Durrett should be intimates。  The very day after our arrival; and
  while we were still at my mother's; Nancy called on Maude; and took her
  out for a drive。  Maude told me of it when I came home from the office。
  〃Dear old Nancy!〃 I said。  〃I know you liked her。〃
  〃Of course; Hugh。  I should like her for your sake; anyway。  She'sshe's
  one of your oldest and best friends。〃
  〃But I want you to like her for her own sake。〃
  〃I think I shall;〃 said Maude。  She was so scrupulously truthful!
  〃I was a little afraid of her; at first。〃
  〃Afraid of Nancy!〃 I exclaimed。
  〃Well; you know; she's much older than I。  I think she is sweet。  But she
  knows so much about the worldso much that she doesn't say。  I can't
  describe it。〃
  I smiled。
  〃It's only her manner。  You'll get used to that; when you know what she
  really is。〃
  〃Oh; I hope so;〃 answered Maude。  〃I'm very anxious to like herI do
  like her。  But it takes me such a lot of time to get to know people。〃
  Nancy asked us to dinner。
  〃I want to help Maude all I can;if she'll let me;〃 Nancy said。
  〃Why shouldn't she let you?〃 I asked。
  〃She may not like me;〃 Nancy replied。
  〃Nonsense!〃 I exclaimed。
  Nancy smiled。
  〃It won't be my fault; at any rate; if she doesn't;〃 she said。  〃I wanted
  her to meet at first just the right people your old friends and a few
  others。  It is hard for a womanespecially a young womancoming among
  strangers。〃  She glanced down the table to where Maude sat talking to
  Ham。  〃She has an air about her;a great deal of self…possession。〃
  I; too; had noticed this; with pride and relief。  For I knew Maude had
  been nervous。
  〃You are luckier than you deserve to be;〃 Nancy reminded me。  〃But I hope
  you realize that she has a mind of her own; that she will form her own
  opinions of people; independently of you。〃
  I must have betrayed the fact that I was a little startled; for the
  remark came as a confirmation of what I had dimly felt。
  〃Of course she has;〃 I agreed; somewhat lamely。  〃Every woman has; who is
  worth her salt。〃
  Nancy's smile bespoke a knowledge that seemed to transcend my own。
  〃You do like her?〃 I demanded。
  〃I like her very much indeed;〃 said Nancy; a little gravely。  〃She's
  simple; she's real; she has that which so few of us possess nowadays
  character。  ButI've got to be prepared for the possibility that she may
  not get along with me。〃
  〃Why not?〃 I demanded。
  〃There you are again; with your old unwillingness to analyze a situation
  and face it。  For heaven's sake; now that you have married her; study
  her。  Don't take her for granted。  Can't you see that she doesn't care
  for the things that amuse me; that make my life?〃
  〃Of course; if you insist on making yourself out a hardened;
  sophisticated woman〃 I protested。  But she shook her head。
  〃Her roots are deeper;she is in touch; though she may not realize it;
  with the fundamentals。  She is one of those women who are race…makers。〃
  Though somewhat perturbed; I was struck by the phrase。  And I lost sight
  of Nancy's generosity。  She looked me full in the face。
  〃I wonder whether you can rise to her;〃 she said。  〃If I were you; I
  should try。  You will be happierfar happier than if you attempt to use
  her for your own ends; as a contributor to your comfort and an auxiliary
  to your career。  I was afraidI confess itthat you had married an
  aspiring; simpering and empty…headed provincial like that Mrs。 George
  Hutchins' whom I met once; and who would sell her soul to be at my table。
  Well; you escaped that; and you may thank God for it。  You've got a
  chance; think it over。
  〃A chance!〃 I repeated; though I gathered something of her meaning。
  〃Think it over; said Nancy again。  And she smiled。
  〃Butdo you want me to bury myself in domesticity?〃 I demanded; without
  grasping the significance of my words。
  〃You'll find her reasonable; I think。  You've got a chance now; Hugh。
  Don't spoil it。〃
  She turned to Leonard Dickinson; who sat on her other side。。。。
  When we got home I tried to conceal my anxiety as to Maude's impressions
  of the evening。  I lit a cigarette; and remarked that the dinner had been
  a success。
  〃Do you know what I've been wondering all evening?〃 Maude asked。  〃Why
  you didn't marry Nancy instead of me。〃
  〃Well;〃 I replied; 〃it just didn't come off。  And Nancy was telling me at
  dinner how fortunate I was to have married you。〃
  Maude passed this。
  〃I can't see why she accepted Hambleton Durrett。  It  seems horrible that
  such a woman as she is could have marriedjust for money。
  〃Nancy has an odd streak in her;〃 I said。  〃But then we all have odd
  streaks。  She's the best friend in the world; when she is your friend。〃
  〃I'm sure of it;〃 Maude agreed; with a little note of penitence。
  〃You enjoyed it;〃 I ventured cautiously。
  〃Oh; yes;〃 she agreed。  〃And everyone was so nice to mefor your sake of
  course。〃
  〃Don't be ridiculous!〃 I said。  〃I shan't tell you what Nancy and the
  others said about you。〃
  Maude had the gift of silence。
  〃What a beautiful house!〃 she sighed presently。  〃I know you'll think me
  silly; but so much luxury as that frightens me a little。  In England; in
  those places we saw; it seemed natural enough; but in America!  And
  they all your friendsseem to take it as a matter of course。〃
  〃There's no reason why we shouldn't have beautiful things and well served
  dinners; too; if we have the money to pay for them。〃
  〃I suppose not;〃 she agreed; absently。
  XV。
  That winter many other entertainments were given in our honour。  But the
  conviction grew upon me that Maude had no real liking for the social side
  of life; that she acquiesced in it only on my account。  Thus; at the very
  outset of our married career; an irritant developed: signs of it; indeed;
  were apparent from the first; when we were preparing the house we had
  rented for occupancy。  Hurrying away from my office at odd times to
  furniture and department stores to help decide such momentous questions
  as curtains; carpets; chairs and tables I would often spy the tall;
  uncompromising figure of Susan Peters standing beside Maude's; while an
  obliging clerk spread out; anxiously; rugs or wall…papers for their
  inspection。
  〃Why don't you get Nancy to help you; too!〃 I ventured to ask her once。
  〃Ours is such a little housecompared to Nancy's; Hugh。〃
  My attitude towards Susan had hitherto remained undefined。  She was Tom's
  wife and Tom's affair。  In spite of her marked disapproval