第 17 节
作者:
寻找山吹 更新:2021-02-27 02:12 字数:9322
Never had I been more impressed; more bewildered by his self…command than
at that time。 Save for the fact that my mother talked less than usual;
supper passed as though nothing had happened。 Whether I had shaken him;
disappointed him; or gained his reluctant approval I could not tell。
Gradually his outward calmness turned my suspense to irritation。。。。
But when at length we were alone together; I gained a certain
reassurance。 His manner was not severe。 He hesitated a little before
beginning。
〃I must confess; Hugh; that I scarcely know what to say about this
proceeding of yours。 The thing that strikes me most forcibly is that you
might have confided in your mother and myself。〃
Hope flashed up within me; like an explosion。
〃II wanted to surprise you; father。 And then; you see; I thought it
would be wiser to find out first how well I was likely to do at the
examinations。〃
My father looked at me。 Unfortunately he possessed neither a sense of
humour nor a sense of tragedy sufficient to meet such a situation。 For
the first time in my life I beheld him at a disadvantage; for I had;
somehow; managed at length to force him out of position; and he was
puzzled。 I was quick to play my trump card。
〃I have been thinking it over carefully;〃 I told him; 〃and I have made up
my mind that I want to go into the law。〃
〃The law!〃 he exclaimed sharply。
〃Why; yes; sir。 I know that you were disappointed because I did not do
sufficiently well at school to go to college and study for the bar。〃
I felt indeed a momentary pang; but I remembered that I was fighting for
my freedom。
〃You seemed satisfied where you were;〃 he said in a puzzled voice; 〃and
your Cousin Robert gives a good account of you。〃
〃I've tried to do the work as well as I could; sir;〃 I replied。 〃But I
don't like the grocery business; or any other business。 I have a feeling
that I'm not made for it。〃
〃And you think; now; that you are made for the law?〃 he asked; with the
faint hint of a smile。
〃Yes; sir; I believe I could succeed at it。 I'd like to try;〃 I replied
modestly。
〃You've given up the idiotic notion of wishing to be an author?〃
I implied that he himself had convinced me of the futility of such a
wish。 I listened to his next words as in a dream。
〃I must confess to you; Hugh; that there are times when I fail to
understand you。 I hope it is as you say; that you have arrived at a
settled conviction as to your future; and that this is not another of
those caprices to which you have been subject; nor a desire to shirk
honest work。 Mr。 Wood has made out a strong case for you; and I have
therefore determined to give you a trial。 If you pass the examinations
with credit; you may go to college; but if at any time you fail to make
good progress; you come home; and go into business again。 Is that
thoroughly understood?〃
I said it was; and thanked him effusively。。。。 I had escaped;the prison
doors had flown open。 But it is written that every happiness has its
sting; and my joy; intense though it was; had in it a core of remorse。。。。
I went downstairs to my mother; who was sitting in the hall by the open
door。
〃Father says I may go!〃 I said。
She got up and took me in her arms。
〃My dear; I am so glad; although we shall miss you dreadfully。。。。 Hugh?〃
〃Yes; mother。〃
〃Oh; Hugh; I so want you to be a good man!〃
Her cry was a little incoherent; but fraught with a meaning that came
home to me; in spite of myself。。。。
A while later I ran over to announce to the amazed Tom Peters that I was
actually going to Harvard with him。 He stood in the half…lighted
hallway; his hands in his pockets; blinking at me。
〃Hugh; you're a wonder!〃 he cried。 〃How in Jehoshaphat did you work
it?〃。。。
I lay long awake that night thinking over the momentous change so soon to
come into my life; wondering exultantly what Nancy Willett would say now。
I was not one; at any rate; to be despised or neglected。
VI。
The following September Tom Peters and I went East together。 In the
early morning Boston broke on us like a Mecca as we rolled out of the old
Albany station; joint lords of a 〃herdic。〃 How sharply the smell of the
salt…laden east wind and its penetrating coolness come back to me! I
seek in vain for words to express the exhilarating effect of that briny
coolness on my imagination; and of the visions it summoned up of the
newer; larger life into which I had marvellously been transported。 We
alighted at the Parker House; full…fledged men of the world; and tried to
act as though the breakfast of which we partook were merely an incident;
not an Event; as though we were Seniors; and not freshmen; assuming an
indifference to the beings by whom we were surrounded and who were
breakfasting; too;although the nice…looking ones with fresh faces and
trim clothes were all undoubtedly Olympians。 The better to proclaim our
nonchalance; we seated ourselves on a lounge of the marble…paved lobby
and smoked cigarettes。 This was liberty indeed! At length we departed
for Cambridge; in another herdic。
Boston! Could it be possible? Everything was so different here as to
give the place the aspect of a dream: the Bulfinch State House; the
decorous shops; the still more decorous dwellings with the purple…paned
windows facing the Common; Back Bay; still boarded up; ivy…spread;
suggestive of a mysterious and delectable existence。 We crossed the
Charles River; blue…grey and still that morning; traversed a nondescript
district; and at last found ourselves gazing out of the windows at the
mellowed; plum…coloured bricks of the University buildings。。。。 All at
once our exhilaration evaporated as the herdic rumbled into a side street
and backed up before the door of a not…too…inviting; three…storied house
with a queer extension on top。 Its steps and vestibule were; however;
immaculate。 The bell was answered by a plainly overworked servant girl;
of whom we inquired for Mrs。 Bolton; our landlady。 There followed a
period of waiting in a parlour from which the light had been almost
wholly banished; with slippery horsehair furniture and a marble…topped
table; and Mrs。 Bolton; when she appeared; dressed in rusty black;
harmonized perfectly with the funereal gloom。 She was a tall; rawboned;
severe lady with a peculiar red…mottled complexion that somehow reminded
one of the outcropping rocks of her native New England soil。
〃You want to see your rooms; I suppose;〃 she remarked impassively when we
had introduced ourselves; and as we mounted the stairs behind her Tom; in
a whisper; nicknamed her 〃Granite Face。〃 Presently she left us。
〃Hospitable soul!〃 said Tom; who; with his hands in his pockets; was
gazing at the bare walls of our sitting…room。 〃We'll have to go into the
house…furnishing business; Hughie。 I vote we don't linger here to…day
we'll get melancholia。〃
Outside; however; the sun was shining brightly; and we departed
immediately to explore Cambridge and announce our important presences to
the proper authorities。。。。 We went into Boston to dine。。。。 It was not
until nine o'clock in the evening that we returned and the bottom
suddenly dropped out of things。 He who has tasted that first; acute
homesickness of college will know what I mean。 It usually comes at the
opening of one's trunk。 The sight of the top tray gave me a pang I shall
never forget。 I would not have believed that I loved my mother so much!
These articles had been packed by her hands; and in one corner; among the
underclothes on which she had neatly sewed my initials; lay the new Bible
she had bought。 〃Hugh Moreton Paret; from his Mother。 September; 1881。〃
I took it up (Tom was not looking) and tried to read a passage; but my
eyes were blurred。 What was it within me that pressed and pressed until
I thought I could bear the pain of it no longer? I pictured the sitting…
room at home; and my father and mother there; thinking of me。 Yes; I
must acknowledge it; in the bitterness of that moment I longed to be back
once more in the railed…off space on the floor of Breck and Company;
writing invoices。。。。
Presently; as we went on silently with our unpacking; we became aware of
someone in the doorway。
〃Hello; you fellows!〃 he cried。 〃We're classmates; I guess。〃
We turned to behold an ungainly young man in an ill…fitting blue suit。
His face was pimply; his eyes a Teutonic blue; his yellow hair rumpled;
his naturally large mouth was made larger by a friendly grin。
〃I'm Hermann Krebs;〃 he announced simply。 〃Who are you?〃
We replied; I regret to say; with a distinct coolness that did not seem
to bother him in the least。 He advanced into the room; holding out a
large; red; and serviceable hand; evidently it had never dawned on him
that there was such a thing in the world as snobbery。 But Tom and I had
been 〃coached〃 by Ralph Hambleton and Perry Blackwood; warned to be
careful of our friendships。 There was a Reason! In any case Mr。 Krebs
would not have appealed to us。 In answer to a second question he was
informed what city we hailed from; and he proclaimed himself likewise a
native of our state。
〃Why; I'm from Elkington!〃 he exclaimed; as thoug