第 16 节
作者:寻找山吹      更新:2021-02-27 02:12      字数:9322
  danced。。。。  From this mood I was awakened with a start to feel a hand on
  my shoulder; and I turned to confront her father; McAlery Willett; a
  gregarious; easygoing; pleasure…loving gentleman who made only a pretence
  of business; having inherited an ample fortune from his father; unique
  among his generation in our city in that he paid some attention to
  fashion in his dress; good living was already beginning to affect his
  figure。  His mellow voice had a way of breaking an octave。
  〃Don't worry; my boy;〃 he said。  〃You stick to business。  These college
  fellows are cocks of the walk just now; but some day you'll be able to
  snap your fingers at all of 'em。〃
  The next day was dark; overcast; smoky; damp…the soft; unwholesome
  dampness that follows a spell of hard frost。  I spent the morning and
  afternoon on the gloomy third floor of Breck and Company; making a list
  of the stock。  I remember the place as though I had just stepped out of
  it; the freight elevator at the back; the dusty; iron columns; the
  continuous piles of cases and bags and barrels with narrow aisles between
  them; the dirty windows; spotted and soot…streaked; that looked down on
  Second Street。  I was determined now to escape from all this; and I had
  my plan in mind。
  No sooner had I swallowed my supper that evening than I set out at a
  swift pace for a modest residence district ten blocks away; coming to a
  little frame house set back in a yard;one of those houses in which the
  ringing of the front door…bell produces the greatest commotion;
  children's voices were excitedly raised and then hushed。  After a brief
  silence the door was opened by a pleasant…faced; brown…bearded man; who
  stood staring at me in surprise。  His hair was rumpled; he wore an old
  house coat with a hole in the elbow; and with one finger he kept his
  place in the book which he held in his hand。
  〃Hugh Paret!〃 he exclaimed。
  He ushered me into a little parlour lighted by two lamps; that bore every
  evidence of having been recently vacated。  Its features somehow bespoke a
  struggle for existence; as though its occupants had worried much and
  loved much。  It was a room best described by the word 〃home〃home made
  more precious by a certain precariousness。  Toys and school…books strewed
  the floor; a sewing…bag and apron lay across the sofa; and in one corner
  was a roll…topped desk of varnished oak。  The seats of the chairs were
  comfortably depressed。
  So this was where Mr。 Wood lived!  Mr。 Wood; instructor in Latin and
  Greek at Densmore Academy。  It was now borne in on me for the first time
  that he did live and have his ties like any other human being; instead of
  just appearing magically from nowhere on a platform in a chalky room at
  nine every morning; to vanish again in the afternoon。  I had formerly
  stood in awe of his presence。  But now I was suddenly possessed by an
  embarrassment; and (shall I say it?) by a commiseration bordering on
  contempt for a man who would consent to live thus for the sake of being a
  schoolteacher。  How strange that civilization should set such a high
  value on education and treat its functionaries with such neglect!
  Mr。 Wood's surprise at seeing me was genuine。  For I had never shown a
  particular interest in him; nor in the knowledge which he strove to
  impart。
  〃I thought you had forgotten me; Hugh;〃 he said; and added whimsically:
  〃most boys do; when they graduate。〃
  I felt the reproach; which made it the more difficult for me to state my
  errand。
  〃I knew you sometimes took pupils in the evening; Mr。 Wood。〃
  〃Pupils;yes;〃 he replied; still eyeing me。  Suddenly his eyes twinkled。
  He had indeed no reason to suspect me of thirsting for learning。  〃But I
  was under the impression that you had gone into business; Hugh。〃
  〃The fact is; sir;〃 I explained somewhat painfully; 〃that I am not
  satisfied with business。  I feelas if I ought to know more。  And I came
  to see if you would give me lessons about three nights a week; because I
  want to take the Harvard examinations next summer。〃
  Thus I made it appear; and so persuaded myself; that my ambition had been
  prompted by a craving for knowledge。  As soon as he could recover himself
  he reminded me that he had on many occasions declared I had a brain。
  〃Your father must be very happy over this decision of yours;〃 he said。
  That was the point; I told him。  It was to be a surprise for my father; I
  was to take the examinations first; and inform him afterwards。
  To my intense relief; Mr。 Wood found the scheme wholly laudable; and
  entered into it with zest。  He produced examinations of preceding years
  from a pigeonhole in his desk; and inside of half an hour the arrangement
  was made; the price of the lessons settled。  They were well within my
  salary; which recently had been raised。。。。
  When I went down town; or collecting bills for Breck and Company; I took
  a text…book along with me in the street…cars。  Now at last I had behind
  my studies a driving force。  Algebra; Latin; Greek and history became
  worth while; means to an end。  I astonished Mr。 Wood; and sometimes he
  would tilt back his chair; take off his spectacles and pull his beard。
  〃Why in the name of all the sages;〃 he would demand; 〃couldn't you have
  done this well at school?  You might have led your class; instead of
  Ralph Hambleton。〃
  I grew very fond of Mr。 Wood; and even of his thin little wife; who
  occasionally flitted into the room after we had finished。  I fully
  intended to keep up with them in after life; but I never did。  I forgot
  them completely。。。。
  My parents were not wholly easy in their minds concerning me; they were
  bewildered by the new aspect I presented。  For my lately acquired motive
  was strong enough to compel me to restrict myself socially; and the
  evenings I spent at home were given to study; usually in my own room。
  Once I was caught with a Latin grammar: I was just 〃looking over it;〃 I
  said。  My mother sighed。  I knew what was in her mind; she had always
  been secretly disappointed that I had not been sent to college。  And
  presently; when my father went out to attend a trustee's meeting; the
  impulse to confide in her almost overcame me; I loved her with that
  affection which goes out to those whom we feel understand us; but I was
  learning to restrain my feelings。  She looked at me wistfully。。。。  I knew
  that she would insist on telling my father; and thus possibly frustrate
  my plans。  That I was not discovered was due to a certain quixotic twist
  in my father's character。  I was working now; and though not actually
  earning my own living; he no longer felt justified in prying into my
  affairs。
  When June arrived; however; my tutor began to show signs that his
  conscience was troubling him; and one night he delivered his ultimatum。
  The joke had gone far enough; he implied。  My intentions; indeed; he
  found praiseworthy; but in his opinion it was high time that my father
  were informed of them; he was determined to call at my father's office。
  The next morning was blue with the presage of showers; blue; too; with
  the presage of fate。  An interminable morning。  My tasks had become
  utterly distasteful。  And in the afternoon; so when I sat down to make
  out invoices; I wrote automatically the names of the familiar customers;
  my mind now exalted by hope; now depressed by anxiety。  The result of an
  interview perhaps even now going on would determine whether or no I
  should be immediately released from a slavery I detested。  Would Mr。 Wood
  persuade my father?  If not; I was prepared to take more desperate
  measures; remain in the grocery business I would not。  In the evening; as
  I hurried homeward from the corner where the Boyne Street car had dropped
  me; I halted suddenly in front of the Peters house; absorbing the scene
  where my childhood had been spent: each of these spreading maples was an
  old friend; and in these yards I had played and dreamed。  An
  unaccountable sadness passed over me as I walked on toward our gate; I
  entered it; gained the doorway of the house and went upstairs; glancing
  into the sitting room。  My mother sat by the window; sewing。  She looked
  up at me with an ineffable expression; in which I read a trace of tears。
  〃Hugh!〃 she exclaimed。
  I felt very uncomfortable; and stood looking down at her。
  〃Why didn't you tell us; my son?〃  In her voice was in truth reproach;
  yet mingled with that was another note; which I think was pride。
  〃What has father said?〃 I asked。
  〃Oh; my dear; he will tell you himself。  II don't knowhe will talk to
  you。〃
  Suddenly she seized my hands and drew me down to her; and then held me
  away; gazing into my face with a passionate questioning; her lips
  smiling; her eyes wet。  What did she see?  Was there a subtler
  relationship between our natures than I guessed?  Did she understand by
  some instinctive power the riddle within me? divine through love the
  force that was driving me on she knew not whither; nor I?  At the sound
  of my father's step in the hall she released me。  He came in as though
  nothing had happened。
  〃Well; Hugh; are you home?〃 he said。。。。
  Never had I been more impressed; more bewildered by his self…command than
  at that time。  Save for the fact that my mother talked less than